


Looking for Paradise

by Alekuroba



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Homophobia, Jiu is the CEO, Jiyoo on the side, Sua is a bit bitchy at first, Yoohyeon is a puppy, bollodrama, mainly suayeon being gay, sua why are you like that, women in charge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 93,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25813663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alekuroba/pseuds/Alekuroba
Summary: Siyeon, a girl with a not so common voice, wanting to pursue her dream of becoming a singer.Bora, Happy Face Company's director, who seems to dislike everything that surrounds her.They met in the worst case scenario, when the singer tries to audition for her company and Bora's first words hit Siyeon as a blizzard.  Has Bora been always this cold to people?
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon
Comments: 456
Kudos: 658





	1. Fight song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language :)
> 
> Also, thank you to my girl Domi for the suggestion and support <3

Sunshine entered through Siyeon’s curtains, illuminating graciously the room with orange and yellow tones. Barely awake, she stretches under her covers and stares at the ceiling for a minute. She has another two auditions today and, after being declined by lots of companies, she doesn’t feel like getting up and trying again. It feels like a waste of time. She could be doing something else, like studying or getting an actual job, like her parents would like. But who is she going to lie? All she wants to do is music. Music is what she loves. She huffs and gets on her feet, shaking her head. She won’t get anything out of staying in bed, so she picks her clothes, washes up and gets some coffee before heading out. With her backpack hanging on her left shoulder, she walks down the street to get a bus that will get her to the city center.  
After going through her first audition and being told that “they will contact her in a few days”, she enters the building where her second audition is. Even though she would love to go home and watch some shitty tv show while having some snacks, she forces herself to sit in the waiting room with the other candidates. She can feel the whole room eyeing her as she makes herself comfortable in her seat and she knows that’s because she is not wearing any fancy or pretty clothes, she didn’t even try to do her hair. She is just wearing some jeans, a ONE OK ROCK t-shirt and a pair of boots, in contrast with all the colorful clothes people are wearing in the room. She tries not to look around and she simply closes her eyes and focuses on her breathing while she waits for her turn.

  
\- Lee Siyeon, please? – A tall grey-haired woman calls her in with a goofy smile plastered on her face, 20 minutes later.  
\- Yes – Siyeon answers as she stands and makes her way through the door.

  
As she gets in front of 3 women, that she presumes that are music producers or directors of the company, she takes her time to eye each of them. They sport different looks: the first one has purple hair and smart clothes, the second one has a sportive look and auburn short hair, and the third one has reddish long wavy hair and casual clothes. Overall, they all look younger than expected and she doesn’t know whether feel relieved or not. The grey-haired woman hands them a paper and stands next to the table where they are seated, her smile never leaving her features.

  
\- Lee Siyeon, right? I’m Kim Minji, CEO of Happy Face Company– The purple haired woman asks while smiling softly, catching Siyeon’s attention. – These are our main music producer, Lee Yubin - The short haired woman waves her hand without changing her neutral expression - and our director, Kim Bora.

  
Siyeon looks at Bora, who is staring back at her intensely, and some weird feeling crawls down her spine.

  
\- Nice meeting you, thank you for giving me a chance to audition.  
\- Oh, no, thank you for coming today! – Minji smiles brighter than before and Siyeon feels some of the tension leaving her body.  
\- Here says that you are going to show us your singing technique – Yubin comments – What are you going to sing today?

  
Siyeon takes a second to think what song she should sing first and, in the end, she goes for some pop song that shows her voice off.

  
\- I thought you were going to sing us something more… rock-ish. – Bora says dryly when she is done singing. – It seemed that you liked more that genre by your looks than commercial pop music.  
\- I can sing some rock songs if you like.  
\- Please, do. – Says Yubin.

  
Siyeon takes a breath in and starts singing her favourite ONE OK ROCK song. As she finishes, she can see the grey-haired woman’s eyes shining with excitement and the CEO is also smiling widely and proudly. A small smile plays on the corner of her mouth until she hears Yubin asking:

\- How many auditions have you done until now?

  
Her smile fades away and she gulps, trying to get her little confidence back.

  
\- I don’t know exactly, but this one is not my first one, if that’s what you are asking.  
\- Why were you rejected by the others? – Bora intervenes, staring at Siyeon’s eyes.  
\- I…- Siyeon stumbles with her words at the sudden question and tries to organize her ideas inside her head. – I don’t know?  
\- You don’t know? – Bora answers back, disappointment on her voice.  
\- I mean, normally they say they will call me, but they never do. Few of them also said that my voice is weird… I guess that maybe is the real reason…

  
As Yubin hums nodding at her answer, Siyeon gaze drops to her feet, a lump forming in her throat. Rejected again? Seriously?

  
\- Do you think that your voice is weird? – Bora keeps interrogating her, her stare never leaving Siyeon. She doesn’t answer, neither dares to look up at them. – Are you not going to answer me? Are you just going to stare at the floor for the rest of the audition?

  
Siyeon is on the verge of crying. She has never been in such a situation when she auditioned and all she can think of right now is storming through that door and never going back to any other audition. She is done, she wants to quit, this isn’t worthy at all. She clenches her fists at her sides and keeps waiting for the famous “we will call you” phrase.

  
\- I’m disappointed. – Bora continues – I thought you could be different than all those people we have been seeing these days. You are the only one that actually looks unique. But… Your confidence is upsetting. How are you going to get anywhere if you are not even able to answer a question?

  
The room stays quiet for a few seconds until Minji clears her voice.

  
\- Thank you again for coming today. We will contact you later to let you know our decision.

  
Without saying anything else or looking at the three women in front of her, Siyeon leaves the room, shaking. Only when she steps outside the building, lets herself cry silently while she walks towards the bus stop, her earphones blasting some Fall Out Boy songs.

  
Once she gets home, her sister Gahyeon comes to greet her with her usual joyful self. They have been living by themselves since Gahyeon got into Seoul’s university. Their parents, not wanting the little one by herself in such a big city, told Siyeon to go to Seoul with her under the condition to get a job at least, which was a source of constant fight between them as Siyeon really wanted to do music.

  
\- Hey! How wa… What happened? – Her eyes become worried as she sees her older sister’s ones, all red and puffy.  
\- They are not going to call me again. – Siyeon explains shortly, not wanting to get into details yet.  
\- I’m sure they are going to call you back!  
\- You always say that.  
\- This time is for real.  
\- You always say that too.

  
Gahyeon huffs angrily and looks how her sister makes her way to the kitchen and grabs a beer before plopping down on the couch. She follows her and sits right next to her, letting silence settle between them.

  
\- What do you want for dinner? – Gahyeon tries to break the tension in the room.  
\- I’m not hungry.  
Another long silence takes over the room and, when Gahyeon was about to speak up again, Siyeon’s phone rings. The latter, startled, hands her beer to Gahyeon as she reaches for her phone in her pocket.  
\- Hello? – She answers.  
\- Oh, hi! Lee Siyeon? This is Kim Yoohyeon, the girl with the gray hair from your audition at Happy Face Company. – Siyeon hears on the other side of the phone.  
\- Yeah?  
\- Yes! We are super excited to tell you that you have been selected to become part of our company! Are you still interested?


	2. This is what you came for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early and longer update! Enjoy <3

Bora is sitting on her chaise-longue while reading her schedule for the day. Her expressionless eyes scan every appointment and meeting she has today until her gaze gets fixed on a particular appointment, causing her to frown.  
The truth is that it’s tiring to think that she has to face the same situation as yesterday with this black-haired girl. Although, to be honest, it is true that she herself has given rise to that situation. It's not that she doesn't like Siyeon, quite the opposite. She loves her voice. In fact, it was she, along with Yoohyeon, who pressured Minji and Yubin to consider Siyeon as a future artist for the company. But when she saw that the girl couldn't even answer a simple question, something in the redhead lit up and that's why she pushed Siyeon even more. Bora huffs as she grabs her mug of coffee and takes a long sip of it before discarding the rest in the kitchen. Then, she grabs her stuff, puts on her heels and heads off to the company.  
When she enters the building, she sees in the distance Minji greeting her with a huge smile on her face and a small smile pulls the corners of the smaller woman's lips.

  
\- Good morning to you too. Nice skirt, by the way.

  
The truth is that the CEO knew how to enhance her curves. That long, black, tube-shaped skirt hugs her hips and thighs very well and, combined with the light gray blouse and reddish lips, Minji attracts all eyes in her path.

  
\- Are you ready for today, Bora? We have a long day ahead. – She asks happily as both get into the elevator that will lead them to their company’s floor.

  
She doesn’t bother to answer. Instead, she gets off the elevator and starts walking towards her office with determination. The quicker she gets through this day, the better.

  
\- See you at the meeting, Minji.

  
Once inside, she locks her door and throws her bag at her couch. With some reluctance, she begins to organize the documents she will need during the first meetings and, after that, she sits in her desk, not bothering to turn on her computer. She glances at the hanging pictures and trophies that decorate the office until she notices a lump forming in her throat. The sad sigh that comes out of her mouth causes her to sink a little deeper into her chair, leaning her head against the backrest and closing her eyes for a few seconds before getting back up. She needs to get going to face the most uncomfortable meeting she has had until now.

  
Walking down the hall, she meets Yubin, who is wearing her usual sport tracks and her black cap. Bora smiles thinking about the fact that her friends and colleagues each have their own style: while Minji prefers more elegant clothes, Yubin always chooses comfort. Bora, on the other hand, is the middle ground between the two of them: today she is wearing skinny jeans, a pair of brownish heels and a shirt. Nothing too fancy, but neither too casual.

  
\- Hey. – the producer waves her hand and stops right in front of the meeting room – Are you sure you want to go in? We will understand if you skip this one.  
\- Hi. – she says back as she gets closer to Yubin – Yes. Let’s get it done.  
\- Try not to lash out at her again if you want her to sign the contract.  
\- I know, don’t worry. I’ll keep my mouth shut.

  
Yubin just nods at this and opens the door for both of them. Inside the room, Minji and Yoohyeon are already seated and, as always, they are playing with their hands while smiling sweetly at each other and commenting on something that happened to them at home last night. The redhead shakes her head at them and giggles softly. Her heart gets warmer when she sees those two being comfortable with each other. After all the ups and downs, after all those moments when they didn’t want to be honest with each other and they got hurt over and over, seeing them like that now, makes Bora wear a bright smile on her face.

  
\- Hi to both of you – Yubin greets – So… Our first meeting is going to be a bit… - she eyes Bora - … Special?  
\- If you are talking about Siyeon, when I talked with her last night, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to sign with us. – comments the grey-haired woman sadly, not wanting to look at Bora to not make her feel guilty – I had to insist and make her promise that she will come today.  
\- Yoohyeon really had to pout over the phone to convince miss Siyeon to come – the CEO laughs lightly while holding her partner’s hand – But if she doesn’t come… That would be a shame…

The redhead sighs at that and her smile fades away. She would hate herself if she is the reason why Siyeon wouldn’t come to the meeting, to be honest. It would be actually a shame if her voice didn’t get out there to be appreciated by the general public. Her train of thoughts gets interrupted by a soft knock on the door and she turns around to see the dark-haired woman asking for permission to get in. Her shoulders relax at the sight of Siyeon getting behind the seat she is supposed to take.

  
\- Siyeon! I’m so happy you actually came! – Yoohyeon celebrates as she goes to awkwardly hold the other girl’s hand.  
\- Thank you for coming, Miss Siyeon – Minji also greets her as the producer only nods at her from her spot. – Let’s all take a seat and start the meeting, shall we?

Bora just nods and sits next to Yubin, while Yoohyeon takes the seat next to the singer. Minji sits right in front of Siyeon and gazes at the director one last time before going through the documents on the table.

  
\- Thank you for calling me last night, I wasn’t expecting it… at all. – the girls fidgetes on her spot, trying to avoid Bora’s eyes at all cost.  
\- Well, we were certainly impressed by your voice, so why wouldn’t we call you? – Yubin clarifies as she nudges the petite woman next to her.  
\- Yeah. – that’s the only thing Bora dares to say, not even looking up from the papers she has scattered in front of her.

Minji and Yubin explain all the details of the singer’s contract as well as her duties as an artist under Happy Face Company. Siyeon doesn’t say a single word during the whole meeting, only nodding to make everyone understand that she is listening. Even though the redhaired woman looks less intimidating today, she isn’t planning to say anything in front of her just in case. She already had a rough time yesterday, she doesn’t need another roasting today.

  
\- So… What do you say? How does it sound? – the CEO smiles warmly towards Siyeon, who smiles softly in return.  
\- I’ll need to think about it…  
\- That’s totally understandable – the grey-haired woman assures her.  
\- Yeah, take your time, we can meet later this week. – the producer says, wanting her to feel comfortable.  
\- Do you want to see the company? – Yoohyeon suggests as she gets up.

Siyeon just nods and gets up from her seat before thanking the other three women in the room. And after she follows the other girl out of the room, Minji lays back on her chair as she looks at Bora, who is just staring at the documents they have reviewed today.

  
\- What’s in your head today?  
\- Huh?  
\- You look more upset than usual – Minji says sadly. Yubin takes the hint and decides to leave the two friends by themselves before the CEO continues – You have never been like this with other artists, why are you this cold with Siyeon?

Bora huffs.

  
\- I guess I just feel bad for being an asshole to her yesterday.  
\- You really were.  
\- I know.  
\- So?  
\- I… I just couldn’t handle her lack of confidence.

  
The purple-haired woman nods as she weights whether is worthy or not asking her friend further about it. But Bora knows her friend well and she tries to explain herself a little more:

\- I can’t stand the fact that she can perform, but her confidence is stopping her to give her 100%. – her voice cracks and she needs to clear her throat before talking again – Anyways, we don’t even know if she is going to sign the contract, so who cares, right?  
\- I get your point, Bora, but you can’t just interrogate someone just because they aren’t as confident as you. I mean, not even us were as confident on stage as you were. As tiny as you are, you were literally everywhere all the time, fans loved you because of that. But you can’t ask everyone to be as energetic as you from the beginning. They are just starting in this industry, give them some time.

The director sighs at those words and massages her left knee under the table unconsciously. She knows her friend is right, but she can’t help feeling a little angry at the memory of Siyeon’s audition from yesterday.

\- If she signs… – she starts saying, catching Minji’s attention once again – If she signs the contract, I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to train her or teach her anything.  
\- You were the one that pushed us to get her in the company, though.  
\- Because she is special, her voice is special. But I don’t want to be angry at her and not being able to tell her why.  
\- You can tell her why, actually. That might help her and it might help you too.  
\- That’s not going to happen, Minji. – she says dryly as she gets up, gathering her documents and heading out of the door towards the next meeting room.

In the meantime, Yoohyeon and Siyeon were touring around the company, Yoohyeon happily bouncing around the different rooms and colliding with some furniture on the way.

\- And this is the dance practice room. See? Some of our dancers are going through some choreographies – she says while pointing through the small window on the door.

Siyeon nods energetically, feeling less shy around the other woman. She can even recognize some of the dancers inside the room and she wonders how such a small company can get those artists to sign with them. It’s not like Happy Face Company’s name is wide known: she actually happened to stumble across their audition’s announcement by pure luck and decided to give it a try.

\- How long have you guys been active as a company?  
\- Three years.

The singer hums and looks around the hallways as she follows Yooheyon again towards the main entrance of the company. Lots of artists’ pictures are hanging on the walls of the company, as well as their albums and other type of merch, and Siyeon’s eyes get caught on a particular signed poster of 5 women, 4 of them very familiar.

  
\- Dreamcatcher – the other woman says, startling Siyeon a bit. – That was our group.  
\- Wait… YOU WERE IN DREAMCATCHER? – the singer voices loudly, surprised.  
\- Yeah! We all were! – Yoohyeon laughs – Those days were so much fun…  
\- You were so popular, I used to listen to your songs a lot… What happened? Why did you suddenly disband?  
\- Oh, were you an Insomnia? - she asks, trying to avoid the "taboo" question.  
\- Of course! Dreamcatcher was so dope. I feel bad I didn’t recognize you earlier… I'm sorry, I failed you as a fan.  
\- You were too busy trying to avoid Bora that you couldn’t even make your brain work, huh? – they grey-haired woman laughs lightly – Yeah. After Dreamcatcher disbanded, Minji, or JiU if you like, decided to start a company and keep working in this industry. I followed her and, later, Dami and SuA joined us too.  
\- Dami is Yubin and SuA is…  
\- Bora, yeah.  
\- But she… She looks so different. Even if she hasn’t change physically, her way of being is totally different from what she used to be before… - the dark-haired woman sighs sadly.  
\- I know… Lots of things happened since then and Bora… She has some unresolved issues, I guess. – Yoohyeon turns her attention to the other woman and put her hand on her shoulder to get her attention – So… You are going to sign the contract, right?

  
The bright smile on Yoohyeon’s face makes Siyeon smile too.

  
\- I’ll think about it. As soon as I know the answer, I’ll let you know, I promise.  
\- Okay, but don’t take too long, I have no patience, literally.

  
The singer laughs at the antics the younger woman is pulling and, after getting the company’s card, she goes back home with a totally different feeling than yesterday.


	3. Better than I thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that's a mamamoo song.  
> You should listen to it.
> 
> Also, here's a bit of background story about dreamcatcher, from jiyoo pov ^^

\- Do you need anything from me, CEO? - Yoohyeon asks after knocking on Minji's office door and opening it ajar.  
\- Ah! Yoohyeon, come in. – She greets with a more serious tone than normal, but unable to avoid the small smile that is drawn on her face when she sees the other woman. Next, she addresses the shareholder with whom she was meeting - Mr. Kim, do you mind if we continue discussing this issue tomorrow? I have to attend to certain matters related to our future artists.

  
The man nods, saying goodbye to both of them politely and, after closing the door, the tall woman turns to Minji. The latter pushes her chair a bit away from the desk and Yoohyeon takes it as an invitation to sit on her lap, Minji's arms hugging her around the waist.

  
\- Hey – the gray-haired woman smiles.  
\- Hi, beautiful. Did you make sure to lock the door?  
\- Yeah, don’t worry. – she answers with a bit of sadness in her voice.

  
When Yoohyeon realized that she had fallen in love with the other woman, her life turned into chaos. Not because she did not understand what she felt or because she feared being rejected by the other, but actually because of the situation in which both were at the time: they were members of the same group and the base of their activities was in a country where relationships between people from the same gender were not accepted. Even though she was madly in love, she kept it for herself for a long time, not wanting the group to stress about it. But then, one day, out of the blue, Minji came to her and kissed her. She surely enjoyed the long-desired kiss, but things got harder for both of them. At first, they tried to hide it from their members, which caused there to be some friction between them. There came a time when the tension between them was unbearable and Minji decided it was time to talk to all of them. The conversation wasn’t bad at all, on the contrary, the girls took it very well and congratulated them. But this didn’t solve the lack of privacy or the awkward moments when they were with their staff and managers. It was tiring and it started to affect the couple, both agreeing on breaking up for the sake of Dreamcatcher.

  
Worst decision ever.

  
If it was already hard for them to keep their hands off of each other when they were out of the dorm, imagine not being able to just tell each other how much they cared about them. It was hell on Earth. But then Bora’s “accident” happened and Minji talked to all of them, suggesting to disband. The members didn’t understand the logic behind that decision and some of them, specially Bora, got angry. Yoohyeon understood, though: being next to the person you loved and not being able to be with them it was the worst thing that could happen to any human being. Or at least that she knew. She also understood that throwing away years and years of hard work didn’t sound appealing. Things were that bad that even Bora stopped talking to Minji, her best friend, for a long time. The CEO never blamed her, she knew the small woman was going through hard times and the disbandment was the straw that broke the camel's back.

  
Few months later, Minji visited Yoohyeon in her hometown and told her about her plans on becoming a CEO. At first, the younger one was a bit confused, but happy to see the leader. What she did not expect was Minji kissing her again after so long and telling her she couldn’t bare being away from her, asking her to move in with her in Seoul. The purple-haired woman thought that maybe being the owner of her own company could make her freer. She wasn’t 100% wrong: they got to live together and be an actual couple. But not in the eyes of the general public.

  
\- What are you thinking about, babe? – her lover asks, noticing the hint of sadness in her answer.  
\- I’m just… I don’t know. It upsets me that we need to hide even after all the things we went through. It doesn’t feel right.

  
The CEO hums, acknowledging her feelings.

  
\- I know. I get the same feeling. But at our workplace we must keep some ground rules, we have talked about it. We are still a small company and, even if we have some good artists, we are not making a huge profit. – she takes Yoohyeon’s chin and makes her look at her in the eyes – At least we can cuddle every night, right? That’s progress!

  
Yoohyeon chuckles at the goofy smile Minji’s lips show and leans in to peck them, resting her head on her shoulder right after.

  
\- Speaking of progress… I talked Siyeon into signing the contract.  
\- Oh, did you? – the taller woman could hear the smirk on the other one’s face.  
\- Yeah. Well, she didn’t say she is going to sign it, but she was smiling all the time when we talked, so I have a good feeling about it.  
\- Good job, I knew you could do it.  
\- And there’s something else. – she adds while standing a bit just to be face to face with Minji, making it feel like it’s a serious matter. The older woman stays silent, waiting for Yoohyeon to keep on talking. – Siyeon is an Insomnia apparently.  
\- WHAT?  
\- Yep.  
\- So, she knew who we were, and she was shy around us because of that or…? – Minji genuinely asks.  
\- I don’t think so. She was surprised when she saw our group pictures down the hall and then she told me. She also apologized for not recognizing us in the first place. – Yoohyeon chuckles at the memory of a stunned Siyeon.  
\- I see – Minji laughs – Well, then she might actually sign anytime soon.

  
Back at home, Siyeon is lying on the couch, her limbs taking up the entire couch and part of the coffee table in front of it. She slides her fingers across the screen of her phone, searching for videos that she constantly used to watch before.

  
\- You used to love that song; you didn't stop torturing me with it. What was its name? Déjà vu?- Her little sister says while leaving her things somewhere in the room as she gets home - How was the meeting?

  
Siyeon doesn't answer, her eyes fixed on the screen, watching one of Dreamcatcher's live stages. She still can't believe that she spoke to the group's main singer a few hours ago. It seems surreal. The singer still remembers how it impressed her that such a young person could be so skilled on stage, singing in front of thousands of people. How old was Yoohyeon in that video? 19?

  
\- What are you watching? Why are you so focused on that video? – Gahyeon asks, a bit annoyed by the other woman’s attitude.  
\- They are the owners of the company. – she answers, not bothering to look at her sister.  
\- What do you mean?  
\- Dreamcatcher is Happy Face Company. Well, except Handong.  
\- YOU GOT IN DREAMCATCHER’S COMPANY? – the little one jumped on the couch, startling Siyeon.  
\- I HAVEN’T SIGN THE CONTRACT YET, STOP

  
Gahyeon stops all of the sudden and looks at her older sister:

  
\- What do you mean by “haven’t sign the contract yet”?  
\- I’m not sure if I want to be in that company… - she sighed.  
\- Why not? Isn’t being a singer your… thing?  
\- Of course it is, weirdo. But… Sua was a bit bitchy at me during the auditions – the other woman stares at her, silently asking why – She basically interrogated me during the audition, and she looked so angry. I don’t know if I’m going to be comfortable around her.  
\- But she wasn’t like that back in Dreamcatcher, maybe she just had a bad day…  
\- Apparently, something happened and she’s kind of angry at every living creature on Earth.

The younger one hums and lays back on the couch, putting her sister’s long legs on her lap. They stay quiet for a while, Dreamcatcher’s music on the background.

  
\- Maybe you could avoid her… What is she in the company?  
\- Director.  
\- So, she is not going to train you, right?  
\- I don’t know… maybe?  
\- I’m pretty sure they are not going to let her to train anyone if she is “moody”, so probably you are going to be able to avoid her as much as you want. – the singer thinks about that as Gahyeon explains her point of view – I mean, you really want this, you have been auditioning for so long and now you have the chance to become an actual singer, why not signing the contract?

  
Siyeon nods subtly.

  
\- Maybe I should really sign and give it a try. I can do as you say: avoid Sua at all cost and focus on my career.  
\- YES, YES. THAT’S THE ATTITUDE. – her sister jumps out of the couch all excited and grabs her jacket and purse – LET’S GO OUT AND CELEBRATE.  
\- But I didn’t call to let them kno-  
\- YOU CAN DO IT TOMORROW MORNING, LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO – she shouts as she runs towards their doorstep.

  
The singer chuckles as she gets up and grabs her stuff before heading out with her sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update, but I really wanted to settle some of jiyoo background story before going on with the story. Hope you liked it! I'll try to update soon


	4. Why

Like a hammer hitting her head, Siyeon wakes up with a dry mouth and a groggy body. Clumsily, she stands up and guides her hand to her head, without fully opening her eyes. Last night they went over with the soju, clearly.

  
Little by little, she walks to the kitchen, where she doesn't even bother to grab a glass to drink tap water and swallows a pill. The woman doesn’t want to think about the call she has to eventually make and decides to fall face down on the couch. Thinking of SuA, or Bora, gives makes her feel uneasy. The little woman is not at all like she remembered. The concept of SuA was broken and that partially saddened her. She never thought that the moment in which she was to meet the group would be in these circumstances, much less the way in which they have developed.

  
She huffs, closing her eyes, trying to gather some energy to get on her feet and look for her phone. The faster she gets over the call thing, the better. She wants the job and she won’t let SuA get in between her goal and her, so she stands once again and makes her way where her jacket is hanging, digging in its pockets. When she has her phone, she goes towards her room, closes the door behind her and open the drawer where the card Yoohyeon gave her is. Siyeon takes one last breathe and dials the number displayed on it.

  
\- Happy Face Company, this is Kim Yoohyeon, how might I help you? – she hears on the other side of the call.  
\- Hi, it’s Lee Siyeon – the singer greets shyly.  
\- AH! SIYEON! I’m so happy that you finally called us. How are you?  
\- I’m fine – the dark-haired one chuckles at the other woman’s excitement – So, I really thought about our conversation and the meeting…  
\- Oh, really?  
\- Yes, and I’ve decided that I want to give it a try… I want to sign the contrac- she can’t finish her line because she gets cut off by Yoohyeon loud scream, making her laugh in response.  
\- ARE YOU SERIOUS? THEN COME TO THE COMPANY ASAP  
\- Right now?  
\- YES  
\- But… Are you going to be able to meet?  
\- I DON’T KNOW, BUT WHO CARES, JUST COME AND WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT.

  
So she does when the call ends. When Siyeon exits the elevator on the correct floor, the tall woman squeezes her with a big hug and then takes her hand, dragging her through the hallway to the CEO's office. Once inside, Minji greets her warmly, standing up to shake her hand and inviting her to take a seat in front of her desk.

  
\- I’m so happy you finally decided to sign with us. We are really looking forward to work with you.  
\- Thank you... – she doubts for a second - …boss?

  
The other two look at her before laughing at that.

  
\- You can just call me Minji, it’s fine – the CEO assures her, handing her some documents and a pen.

  
The singer takes a moment to study the documents in front of her, sensing the creasing excitement of the younger woman standing on her far left. She finally signs all the documents and looks up to them.

  
\- It’s weird.

  
The sudden confession startles the other two.

  
\- It’s weird that I was just watching your live performances just yesterday and today I’ve signed a contract with you guys.  
\- Yeah, Yoohyeon told me you were an Insomnia few years ago – the purple-haired woman smiles.  
\- I was, indeed.  
\- Who was your favourite, your bias? – Yoohyeon asks, her excitement never dying out.  
\- Ah… - Siyeon looks at her lap, her hands folding on it – It was JiU…  
\- Oh? And how didn’t you recognize me? - Minji pretends to be hurt, putting her hand over her chest dramatically.  
\- Excuse me, at least you were her fave. I’m just Yoohyeon. – the taller one pouts, as Siyeon laughs at the whole scene.  
\- I’m sorry, I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize that I was auditioning in front of Dreamcatcher…

  
They were talking about the group when Bora comes in the office, interrupting the vivid conversation. The director’s features become straight and serious when she gets a glimpse of the conversation before they become quiet, and at the same time Siyeon becomes small in her seat and avoids looking at the woman who just entered the room. However, Bora can't contain the small sigh that reaches her lips when she sees the black-haired woman sitting with her back towards her and decides to speak up.

  
\- Thank you. – Siyeon’s turns to Bora when she hears her, the other two women looking in disbelief at the latter when they hear her talking to the singer. – Thank you for signing and staying with us. We will take care of you and make sure you achieve your goals.

  
The room stays quiet and Bora, without wasting any second, goes to the CEO, giving her some documents with a bit shaky hand. She tries to hide it, though, not wanting the new artist to be aware of how much distress gives her just hearing about the memories of their performances. She doesn’t understand why the three women were talking about it, but she decides not to ask. On the other side of the desk, the singer, still stunned at Bora’s words, can’t take her eyes off the woman. Suddenly, they lock eyes and stare at each other for a second before Siyeon pulls away and goes back to looking at her hands on her lap.

  
\- It’s my pleasure to be here. – she answers lowly, not daring to raise her voice in case she bothers the small woman.

  
Bora hums and waves to Yoohyeon and Minji before getting out of the room, the tension that filled the space leaving also with her.

  
\- Told you she wasn’t that bad. – the gray-haired woman chuckles, getting Siyeon’s attention – You’ll get sick of her once she warms up to you, because she is in-ten-se.

  
Minji smiles sadly at this. Sure Yoohyeon was right about her description of her friend, but Bora and her weren’t at the same page they used to be. They have talked few months after the disband and the CEO felt lucky she accepted to be part of her company, but they didn’t speak their hearts out. The director closed herself and, even if Minji confronted her about it, she wouldn’t speak up about her thoughts. She misses their old times, when Bora just ran into her and couldn’t stay away from her longer than a few hours. She misses her confident, her right hand, her best friend.

  
\- Well, Siyeon… - the woman tries to get out of her thoughts and talks to her new artist – Do you want to get started? Maybe try the music room or practice in the vocal room?

  
As days passed, the singer became more confident around the company. She would hang out with Yoohyeon a lot in her free time, work with Yubin in the music room and Minji would also teach her about stage presence sometimes. At first, she was careful to not cross paths with Bora, but she doesn’t even try anymore since it seems like the other woman is avoiding her too, which is relieving for her.

  
Even if it wasn’t scheduled for her today, she walks through the company floor towards the dance practice room to go through the tips Minji gave her earlier this week and before getting in, she peeks through the small window on the door to check if it’s busy or not. Surprised, she sees Bora laying on the floor in the middle of the room, wearing tight shorts and a crop top and music playing in the background. She recognizes the song: it’s Trap, by Dreamcatcher. She carefully watches the other woman, wondering why Bora was dressed up as she was about to train or perform, and after a moment, she decides to turn away, not wanting to disturb her. As she goes to the elevator, she crosses the hallway where the Dreamcatcher group picture is displayed and stares at it for a moment, thinking about the different reasons why the cheerful and energic SuA now seemed so upset. With her mind full of thoughts, she walks to the elevator and waits for the doors to open, but, before she gets in, someone is revealed behind its doors. The singer stays still, a bit stunned by the person right in front of her.

  
\- Hi, do you work here?

  
Siyeon can’t get words out of her mouth, so she just nods vividly, backing a bit to let the other step out of the elevator.

  
\- Oh, great. Then, would you happen to know where can I find JiU or Minji?  
\- Ah… She must b-

  
Before she can fully answer, she gets interrupted by a loud gasp. She turns around towards the source of such noise and looks at the stunned CEO.

  
\- HANDONG? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handong came back of Honolulu (??????)
> 
> Short update, a bit angsty. Hang in there, Bora!


	5. rEALITY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HANDONG IS BACK in this au.
> 
> BUT SHE'LL BE BACK SOON, I CAN SENSE IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mmm song as title

Handong is standing there and smiling softly, while she is being engulfed by Minji’s arms. She has always loved how warm her members are, even if she is a bit shy when it comes to express her feelings for others.

  
\- I’m so happy that you came. – The CEO smiles, her face buried in the other woman’s hair.

  
The week that Handong has had has been strange and the truth is that the Chinese woman still doesn’t know very well why she has come to the company of her friend. When she broke the contract with the Chinese modeling company a few days ago and bought a ticket to Seoul, she didn't think that the first place she would visit was this building. It’s as if something outside her consciousness had guided her steps there, without her having the option to change the destination or the direction. It wasn't until she heard the voice of her former leader that she realized where she is.  
Minji pulls away from Handong and smiles brightly at her, taking a moment to look at her friend.

  
\- You really are here.  
\- Yes, I am. I can’t believe you actually started your own company. – she says amazed.  
\- I couldn’t stay away from music at the end, so…  
\- I understand – Handong chuckles softly as Minji lets her free from her embrace. – Did the other members accept your offer?  
\- Yeah, you are the only one that didn’t – The CEO pouts, earning a gasp from the Chinese woman.  
\- Even SuA?  
\- Yep. Surprising, right?  
\- Indeed.

  
Siyeon, who is still standing next to the elevator, looks at the two of them in awe. She knew that the Chinese member went back to her country and that she was working as a model there, but she never thought that they would end up crossing their ways in Seoul.

  
\- Siyeon, - Minji pulls her out of her thoughts – you must know it already. This is Handong.  
\- Yeah. Nice to meet you – she answers shyly as she offers her hand to the woman in question.  
\- Nice to meet you too, are you an artist under Jiu’s company?  
\- Yeah, I just got in a few weeks ago.

  
They talk a bit more until Minji offers Handong to go to her office and saying their goodbyes to the black-haired one.

  
\- You haven’t told me yet why you are here. No that I don’t like it, but I’m curious. It’s been 2 years since I saw you the last time.

  
The Chinese one hums thoughtfully as she sits at the small couch in the room with the CEO and stays silent for a minute before giving an answer.

  
\- I've been pretty busy these years with the new job, but I also guess I've been using cheap excuses to avoid this moment? – she huffs, sadness all over her voice – I was a little scared and at the same time I was angry about the whole situation with the group.  
\- You weren’t the only one mad at the whole situation, don’t worry, Dongie. You had all the rights to feel that way. – Minji assures her while she holds the other woman’s hand.  
\- I know, but I feel like I was selfish for just disappearing without saying anything because I was mad about the disband. I don't know… I came to Korea and worked really hard to debut, and suddenly all of that was gone. – A lump is stuck in her throat and she tries to swallow it as she continues - But that’s no reason to cut any kind of communication with you completely. I didn't even answer your offer about joining Happy Face Company...

  
The purple haired woman nods but stays quiet. She remembers how empty she felt when she never received a call back from her friend and how Yoohyeon told her to give her time and space multiple times. She guesses the taller one was right about it, Handong just needed space and time to clear her thoughts.

  
\- Dong, I’m happy you are here, and I don’t care if you took more or less time to talk about it. – she sees the Chinese woman smiling at that and she smiles in response.  
\- I guess so… - Handong feel relieved at how Minji is handling her arrival and she relaxes further in the couch – Are the members around?  
\- Yoohyeon is around, working on some stuff that came in late this afternoon, Yubin must be at the production booth and Bora… She said she was going to use the dance practice room, but I haven’t checked on her.  
\- She is dancing?! – she asks surprised.  
\- Not as hard as before, but she surely is trying.  
\- How come? I mean, after what happened and all…  
\- I know, right? But suddenly, one day she said that she was going to use the dance room and asked us to not disturb her. I secretly watch her sometimes when she is in there – Minji chuckles lightly.  
\- Of course you are, you were always spying on us when we were training by ourselves - the other woman snorts at her.  
\- I know, but I can’t help myself, it’s my inner leader mode that comes out.

  
Both women laugh at that, but they get interrupted by the auburn woman that gets in the office calling her CEO. Yubin stops in her tracks as she sees Handong in the room.

  
\- What… What are you doing here? – she stutters as she closes the door behind her.  
\- Hi, Yubin. Long time no see…

  
Minji eyes them, not getting the mood entirely. Handong, who was all bright just a second ago, now looks shy and nervous, and Yubin kind of more of the same, her hands even a bit shaky. That’s why the CEO decides to speak up.

  
\- Hey, now that you are here, shall we all go out and have dinner together? You know, all the members reunited together.  
\- Sounds good! – the Chinese one claps her hands together as she shifts her gaze towards her former leader.

Yubin nods and tells them she will let the rest know as she exits the room. The CEO looks at the door closing and then gazes at Handong, who was still looking at the spot where the producer was standing before.

  
\- If you want to talk about it, you can count on me.

  
Handong shakes her head, her smile not reaching her eyes.

  
\- I’m fine, Jiu. It’s fine.

* * *

  
After getting into the elevator finally, Siyeon gets a text from her sister, telling her that she and her friends will go out to have dinner and have some beer. The singer answers if she can join them since they all know each other for a long time and Gahyeon doesn’t take much time to answer her positively. So Siyeon makes her way to the city center, not bothering to go home first to change her clothes, and it’s greeted by Dahyun and Shuhua when she enters the bar where her sister is.

  
\- I swear to god, you guys are so loud – she chuckles as she sits next to Seunghee.  
\- And you are such an emo, why are you always wearing black? – her sister chips in as she hands Siyeon a glass of beer.

They fall into a conversation full of laughs and inside jokes as they drink and eat. The bar is getting crowded as time passes by and Siyeon, with a slightly light head, takes a break from the lively conversation to go to the bathroom. She gets up and, tripping over some chairs, crosses the bar from her table, that is practically next to the main entrance, to the other side of the place. She swears she has come across a familiar face but blames it on alcohol as she enters the bathroom. However, when she comes out and starts walking back to her table, her eyes meet a newcomer whose height barely exceeds the crowd that fills the bar.

  
\- SuA…? – Siyeon blurts out softly as she stands in the middle of the place.

  
The other woman looks exhausted, her bag hanging from one shoulder, long jeans replacing the shorts she was wearing before at the company and her hair wet from the shower she took right before leaving the building. She keeps walking towards somewhere behind Siyeon, not pulling her eyes away from the latter, and the singer catches a small limp on one of her covered legs. She must have stared too long, because suddenly SuA, or Bora, is right in front of her.

  
\- Are you here with Minji? – she asks, a bit annoyed.  
\- I-I’m not. I’m with my sister and some friends. – she answers lowly, entranced by the closeness of Bora.

  
Bora hums, still not resuming her way.

  
\- You are doing a good job in the company. – she looks away from Siyeon towards one of the waiters there. – You will do great once you debut, I’m sure.  
\- I don’t think I’ll be as good as you guys.

  
Bora looks at her immediately, surprised by the sudden confession. Her eyes roam the singer’s face and her features soften.

  
\- Do you know us?  
\- Yes, I was a fan.  
\- Why didn’t you say anything?  
\- I told Minji, or Jiu, however you like it. But it's not why I auditioned, if that makes you feel better.

  
Siyeon is getting bolder around Bora and the latter notices it. She doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or if it’s her true nature that is coming out, and she can’t quite point out if she likes it or not.

  
\- I saw you today at the dance practice room – another confession leaves Siyeon’s lips and this time she can see the other woman frowning at her. – Don’t worry, you were just laying on the floor, listening to some music. – she tries to fix it up before angering her more.

  
Bora sighs and puts a hand on the singer’s shoulder as she starts to make her way towards Minji and the rest of the group.

  
\- Just be your best self, don’t compare yourself to others. You’ll be fine.

  
Siyeon turns as she hears the words of encouragement from the other woman and watches her walk down the bar, but the loud voices of her friends pull her out of the haze and she resumes her way towards them. Meanwhile, Bora reaches the table where her friends and members are and notices how Handong stands up but doesn’t make a move. The director snorts at her cautious attitude and opens her arms, welcoming the Chinese woman with a hug.

  
\- I missed you, Dongie.  
\- I missed you too, Bora. – Handong relaxes as she circles the smaller one with her own arms.

  
Bora sees from the corner of her eyes how Yubin also lets her shoulders drop as the tension leaves her body. After all this time, they finally meet. The director knows that the moment when all of them should talk and make everything clear might come earlier than expected, and that makes her feel uneasy. She won’t be ever prepared for such a conversation: remembering how all her plans crumbled in front of her, how Handong couldn’t stop crying, how Yubin disappeared for months, how her best friend still blames herself for Bora’s attitude change. She huffs and hugs her former member tighter, sneaking her nose in her hair and trying to push those thoughts away for the moment. Minji and Yoohyeon smile at each other before looking at the other three and the taller member stands up, beer in hand and clearly not sober.

  
\- TO BORA, THE GRUMPY DWA-  
\- I’M GONNA KILL YOU, KIM YOOHYEON.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself and I had to put some "yoohyeon teasing Sua" moment


	6. Be Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yubin is sad. Bora is better. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listen to this song whenever I feel down. It also helps me with my sleeping disorder when I'm stressed :)

As Siyeon finishes singing the last notes of the song she’s doing the guide for, she takes off the headphones and looks at Yubin on the other side of the glass. She seems to have dozed off, because her gaze is anywhere and everywhere at the same time. The singer has noticed these past days that she has been off and, at first, she thought it was due to stress or lack of sleep.

  
\- Yubin, is everything okay? – she says through the mic.

  
The other woman snaps out of her daydreamy state and blinks twice before stopping the recording.

  
\- Yeah, I’m sorry. I got distracted.  
\- You get distracted a lot lately – the singer says as she gets out of the booth – I’m not calling you out or anything, I’m pretty sure you have your own reasons. You can talk to me about it if you want to.

  
Siyeon and Yubin have been getting closer since both of them spend a lot of time together working on new music and recording guides for other artists. The producer told Siyeon that this way the company can get some benefits by selling the song to an artist and the singer can practice her singing skills for when she records her first song. Outside of their professional lives, the two have discovered that they have many hobbies in common, such as videogames. The black-haired woman could say that Yubin and Yoohyeon are the people with whom she feels she could have a good friendship in the future. That’s why she feels comfortable enough to get into personal matters with Yubin.

  
She hears the producer sighing and decides to take the seat right next to her chair, so Yubin can feel her eagerness to help her out with whatever it’s in her mind.

  
\- I guess… - she starts saying – I guess Handong’s presence is making me feel a bit nervous. She’s been around the company a lot lately and it’s great to see her, but I can’t help feeling nervous around her.  
\- Did you fight and didn’t make up later or…?  
\- No, we didn’t fight. We were super close and she is not the type of person that could ever upset me, even if she tries. – Siyeon waits for Yubin to open up further as the other woman leans back in her chair. – Something happened back when we were Dreamcatcher and we didn’t talk about it. It was a really messy situation back then and we didn’t get the opportunity to talk with the members neither just the two of us.  
\- Is it related to the disbandment? – the black-haired woman asks carefully, her voice low.  
\- … Yes, I think so. – the puzzled look on Siyeon’s face makes Yubin to talk more about it. – Minji was the one to suddenly come up with the disbandment idea and we just took it. We didn’t ask why she thought about it, but I think it was pretty clear for all of us back then.

  
There is a long silence before Siyeon dares to speak up again.

  
\- And now? Does the reason make sense now?  
\- Not gonna lie, it’s not as clear as before, definitely. – the producer huffs. – I thought it was my fault at first, but then Minji talked to me about becoming a CEO and suddenly apologized for not being reliable as a leader and making us throw away years of hardwork. So, yeah, it’s pretty confusing.  
\- How would Minji not be reliable? I mean, she seems to be a great CEO and I remember her being a nice leader back then. – Siyeon’s voice sounds a bit upset at the producer’s memories.  
\- That’s the thing. She did nothing wrong. She gave everything for the group. She even gave up on the one she loved the most just to make sure Dreamcatcher would be successful. – Yubin’s voice cracks as she looks away from Siyeon, who is looking at her intensely. – I know it’s my fault, but she apologized and offered me to work with her. After I screwed it up so badly, she gave me another opportunity and she apologized.  
\- Hey, it’s okay! – the singer hurriedly tries to comfort her – I’m pretty sure she has her own reasons. Maybe, now that you all are here, you can talk with them and explain your side of things, right?

  
Yubin nods subtly and takes a deep breath. With Handong arrival, the time when they will talk all together it's around the corner and that makes her mind run through all the memories they've shared. She doesn't know how to face her former members nor how to apologize for how bad she fucked up, specially with Bora. She didn't mean to drag the woman into her fucked up situation, enough troubles she has brought to Handong just to get another member involved in it.

They decide to call it a day, since they have recorded everything they were supposed to, and Siyeon lets the producer have some space and heads off to the dance practice room. She scrolls through her social media account as she makes her way there, but she looks away from her screen when she bumps into someone, the latter falling on the floor with a loud gasp.

  
\- I’m so sorry, Bora, I wasn’t paying attention! - she apologizes as soon as she sees her, and she crouches down to help her.

  
The director seems to be in pain as she grabs the leg Siyeon remembers to have a slight limp in.

  
\- Do you need help? Shall I call someone? – she keeps insisting, all her fear for the smaller woman disappearing as she can see the other one hurting.  
\- No, don’t. Just let me sit here for a moment, I’ll be fine. – Bora mumbles and tries to move carefully towards the nearest wall to lean on.

The singer tries to help her and stays next to her, uncertain of what to do next. Bora huffs and signals the spot next to her as an invitation to sit with her. Silence takes over them until Bora speaks up:

  
\- Were you heading to the dance practice room?  
\- Yeah. I just finished with Yubin and it’s still early in the afternoon, so I thought I could practice some movements and gestures Minji taught me. I also like to sing in front of a mirror, so… yeah. You know. – the black-haired woman trails off, not wanting to be a burden.

Bora just hums at that while her hand massages her leg and silence becomes present again. After a few minutes of just looking at her lap, Siyeon is the one breaking it this time:

  
\- I’m sorry if I said something weird the other night, at the bar. I had a few beers before we talked.  
\- It’s okay, you didn’t say anything wrong. – she answered, brushing it off.  
\- Shall I call you Bora or SuA? – her voice is soft as she asks and tries to hold her gaze on the other woman.  
\- Bora. – she looks back at her too – I’m sorry too. – the singer’s eyes become quizzical when she hears the apology - I’m sorry for being rude when you auditioned, I should have been more professional and leave my personal issues outside my workplace.  
\- Yeah, you were a bit bitchy. Apology accepted, though.

  
The honesty in the statement makes Bora chuckle and that brings a smile on Siyeon’s face.

  
\- What was your favourite track?  
\- Huh?  
\- Of our discography, I mean.

  
The black-haired woman hums as she thinks.

  
\- I can’t actually choose, I guess it depends on my mood.  
\- Which one makes you feel stronger and confident?  
\- I guess “Wake up” or “Scream”.  
\- Those’re good ones, I like them.  
\- It would be weird if you didn’t. – Siyeon feels more comfortable around the other woman as her smile never leaves her face.  
\- Yeah, true. – she agrees.  
\- What do you do when you go to the dance practice room?  
\- Dance.  
\- Oh, did you hurt yourself then? – Siyeon asks as she points at her leg.

Bora takes her time to elaborate her answer in her mind and she takes her eyes away from Siyeon.

  
\- It’s been like this for a long time, I was trying to get back on track, but… I guess it’s harder than I thought. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to dance like before.

  
The singer’s heart sinks to her stomach as she hears those words. She remembers how Bora used to say that dancing was what she loved to do the most when she was being interviewed and she wonders if this happened before or after the disbandment, but she can’t voice out the question as she sees the other woman struggle with her words.

  
\- “Dad says if you smile once, two of your worries will disappear” – Bora looks back at Siyeon when she hears her – It’s a lyric from one of my favourite songs. I think about it whenever I feel burdened or sad about something. – The singers stands up and offers a hand to the smaller woman, who hesitates before taking it and leaning on her to get up. – I know you are not in charge of my training, but I was wondering if you could watch me sing? I want to work on my confidence a bit more.

  
The director looks at her with soft eyes and the smile that she wore a few minutes ago comes up again.

  
\- Sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yubin, what happened ??? TT
> 
> Anyway, some soft suayeon for an early and short update ^^


	7. Spring Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an argument. And there's a satisfied person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm's song again.  
> I don't know why, but it's easier to write when listening to mmm's b-side tracks

Bora is in her office, grabbing some stuff before going home, when Minji knocks the door and, without any cue from the other woman, she opens it and leans on the door frame.

  
\- Hey cutie, what are you doing here this late? I thought you had a date with that boy of yours. – the CEO winks.

  
\- His name is Jae and I got stuck here. I told him to meet tomorrow.

  
\- You’ll need to pay him back, huh? – the smirk that she portrays makes the director snort. - What? What’s wrong? I thought you two were doing fine. – Minji’s face changes as she worries about her friend.

\- Yeah, we are fine. We are way too fine. He is nice, he only says nice things, tries to cheer me up all the time, buys me stuff, doesn’t get mad, … - Her friend looks at her trying to understand her point. – I feel like he doesn’t understand me. He just wants to make me feel loved I guess, but he actually doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t ask me, he doesn’t tell me how he feels, he doesn’t… communicate.

  
\- I understand… But you have been together for 1 year now, was it like that since the beginning?

  
\- Yeah… At first, I thought he was just polite and kind, but… - she trails off and decides to let herself fall on the chair of her desk.

Minji takes the cue and gets in the room, closing the door behind her.

  
\- Why don’t you talk to him?  
\- And what do I tell him? “Why don’t you get mad at me?” “Why are you so nice when I’m being a brat because I’m frustrated with my job?” Sorry for not having a perfect relationship like you and Yooh.

  
The CEO frowns.

  
\- Are you frustrated with your position here at the company? – she asks genuinely, ignoring purposely the last comment Bora’s just made about her relationship.  
\- No… It’s just… Seeing everyone moving forwards, living their lives as they always did… And I’m here. Stuck at the same point as three years ago. Today I tried to dance “Trap” again and I couldn’t finish the fucking choreo. And then I bumped into the new girl and couldn’t get up for ten minutes because the pain was too much to even try. I was the main dancer, for fucks sake. Now I can’t even dance for 15 minutes straight. – her voice is getting louder as she gets all her anger out and Minji tries to reach her, but her hand gets slapped away – How am I going to be okay if I can’t do what I love the most? It’s like asking you to stop singing. It doesn’t make sense.  
\- Why didn’t you tell me about how you feel?  
\- Why do you need me to tell you? Why don’t YOU ask ME?  
\- Why would I ask you? I don’t read minds, Bora, and we barely spend time together lately – the CEO tries to stay calm, even if it gets harder as the conversation goes on – But we are friends. We have been friends for a long time, we trained together for years. You know you can count on me for ANYTHING.

  
The director stands up suddenly, both hands on her hips, and turns away from Minji as she tries to calm her breathing, tears on the brink of her eyes. Her friend doesn’t try to reach for her a second time, choosing to give her space instead.

  
\- Do you want to make an appointment with a doctor? Maybe they can help you. – Bora shakes her head and Minji sighs a bit disappointed, but moves on to another subject, so her friend can get her mind out of this issue – So, you bumped into Siyeon, huh? Weren’t you avoiding her?  
\- She literally crashed me with her body as I turned the corner in the hallway. – she scoffs.  
\- Did she help you when you were on the floor or did she run away from you? – Minji chuckles imagining a scared Siyeon running away from a fuming Bora.  
\- Actually, she was nice, she helped me. We even got to talk a bit and then she asked me to give her some advice with her performance and stage presenc-  
\- SHE DID WHAT? – the CEO interrupts – How? Also, I thought you didn’t want to train her.  
\- … I apologized. She didn’t deserve any of that. – she makes a pause – Neither do you, I’m sorry for lashing out on you.

It is then when Minji approaches her confidently and wraps her friend in a hug.

  
\- It’s okay, you had a long day.  
\- It’s not okay. I’ve been taking it out on the members and on the artists. It’s not right. – she pulls away a bit – We need to talk. All of us. There’s a lot of issues we need to clear out about our disbandment. I feel like we all have wrong ideas about what happened and that makes me feel angry at you, bunch of idiots.  
\- Yeah, we really need to talk, huh? – Minji feels a lump forming in her throat – I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared for that. BUT – she points at Bora – First you need to solve the issue with your boyfriend and then we can talk.  
\- Ah… You really are a pain in my ass, Kim Minji.

* * *

  
Gahyeon is on the sofa watching some random tvshow when Siyeon comes home. Her older sister drops her stuff at the entrance hall and goes to the open kitchen while humming some random tune, her voice filling the small apartment.

  
\- You look happy today, even though you got home latter than other days – she eyes her sister from the sofa as she opens the fridge to get a beer.  
\- I’m not happy, I’m… - Siyeon pours the can in a glass while she thinks of the appropriate word to explain her mood – I’m satisfied.  
\- How come?

  
The singer grabs the glass and walks towards the sofa, taking the spot next to her sister. She takes a sip and enjoys how the cold liquid goes down her throat, letting out a little satisfied sound.

  
\- Well, I’m not happy because Yubin seems to be struggling with some personal stuff and she’s been zoning out a lot, which makes us take longer to finish some projects and training sessions. But I’m satisfied because Bora talked to me today and we practiced together this afternoon.  
\- … Bora? – Gahyeon tries to put a face to the name.  
\- SuA.  
\- Ah, right. What did she say?  
\- She apologized. Like, for real. She apologized. – she gazes how her sister is looking at her, stunned at those words.  
\- Out of the blue?  
\- Nah, we kind of bumped into each other at the company, she got hurt because I’m a fucking tree next to her, so I basically crashed her into the floor, and then we started talking. I apologized for the situation at the bar and she apologized for the audition thing.  
\- Thank goodness she did because that was out of the line.

  
Siyeon doesn’t answer, choosing to remain silent. If it is true that Bora did not behave like a professional during the auditions, the singer understood the reasons. It'd be like if her vocal cords suddenly stopped working and she couldn’t sing overnight. She is sure that not only would she be irritable, she would also be down because she’d have lost the reason why she has gotten out of bed every day for the past few years. Seeing Bora limp as she leaned against her so she could go to the practice room made her think about what she must be feeling and Siyeon felt bad for simply assuming that the director had a bad temper.

  
\- She was nice during the practice; she gave me very useful advices. I kind of understand why she was a top-notch performer. – she finally says after swallowing some more beer.  
\- Is she going to train you more?  
\- I don’t know, we didn’t talk about it. When we were done practicing, we just said goodbye to each other, and she went to her office and I came back home.  
\- You should ask her…

  
The older one scoffs at her.

  
\- First, you tell me to avoid her. Now you want me to train with her. Make up your mind, dude.  
\- I’m just trying to help you! I thought you liked her now, that’s why I just told you to talk to her. – Gahyeon crosses her arms and tries to angrily pout at her sister, who laughs at the antics her sibling is pulling out.  
\- Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I guess I will talk to her.

  
The younger woman nods in approval before continuing:

  
\- So… What tips did she give you?  
\- What do you mean?  
\- You said you understand why she is a top-notch performer. – she turns off the tv and gets a negative grunt from the woman next to her – Show me. Perform for your sister, c’mon.

  
Siyeon pretends to be annoyed by her demands as she stands up and takes the tv control, holding it as a mic. They spend the rest of the evening singing together before calling it for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Siyeon being soft for Bora <3
> 
> And the tiny argument Jibo had...


	8. Moderato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what Moderato stands for... (sex), but don't expect too much.  
> This chapter goes to Angie, a full-time Jiyoo shipper and a great fan of this fic <3

It has become a recurring thing that Siyeon, once she is done with the activities scheduled for the day, heads to the dance practice room to see if Bora is there. She still hasn't been able to ask her if she would mind training her, although she didn’t have many opportunities to do so either. The director seems busier than usual and the singer sees her often in the hallways of the company as Bora runs from one side to the other.

  
After finishing rehearsing some piano’s music sheet in the music room, she eases her way through the empty hallways of the company until she reaches the door of the dance practice room. Today she finished later than she usually does, she has gotten stuck in a couple of notes that she couldn’t play in a row when practicing. Thanks to the fact that it’s already night time and most of the lights in the floor are off, she can see in the distance that the room is lighted up and decides to look through the small window in the door to see who's the one using it, hoping to find Bora. However, to her surprise, she doesn’t see one person, but two. Specifically, Yoohyeon and Minji, the latter pressing the younger one against the mirror that covers one of the walls of the room. Siyeon, a bit oblivious of what she is seeing at first, is about to get in to greet them, but she stops her actions when she sees that Minji bites the gray-haired's neck and her hand slips under the floral dress that Yoohyeon is wearing.

  
\- Siyeon – the black-haired woman turns around to face the person that calls her as she tries to hide the panic she is feeling at the moment – What are you doing here this late?  
\- B-Bora, long time no see, huh? – she tries to be casual.

  
Bora looks a bit confused by the weird behaviour Siyeon is displaying, but she decides to brush it off as she gets closer. In response, the singer’s brain starts working on its own and pulls Bora away from the room’s door by grabbing her wrist and walking all the way back to the elevator.

  
\- Wha-What are you doing exactly?! – the redhaired sounds annoyed as she gets lightly dragged through the company.  
\- Let’s grab a beer. We need some bonding time, okay? I know everyone here but you. – Siyeon doesn’t dare to look back at the smaller woman.  
\- Okay, but stop, you are hurting me, you idiot!

She stops right away and turns to look at Bora’s legs, fearing she hurt her leg again.

  
\- My wrist. You were holding it too tightly. – she adds, noticing the concern on the other woman.  
\- Oh… I’m sorry.  
\- Do you have everything on you?

  
The sudden question startles Siyeon a bit.

  
\- What?  
\- Aren’t we leaving to get a beer?  
\- AH! Yes, yes, I do.

  
Both of them leave the building, the singer opting to get Bora to her usual bar in the city center, where they met that one time. At first, the tension in the atmosphere barely allows a normal conversation flow between the two of them. But, as they keep drinking and having some snacks on the side, Siyeon lets go a bit more and the two seem to get into a more friendly dynamic.

  
\- I’ve been looking for you these days – the singer blurts out.  
\- Why? – the other one asks back as she reaches for some tteokbokki.  
\- I wanted to ask you if you’d like to practice with me a bit more.

The director doesn't respond right away, trying not to use words that could put Siyeon back in her shell and spoil a possible future friendship.

  
\- I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that. – she sees that the taller one doesn’t interrupt her, so she decides to keep talking – I mean, I’m pretty busy lately, we are trying to get Handong in the company as our first model, and I also have some issues to solve first, apparently.

  
Bora seems to catch Siyeon’s attention as her eyes are wider and looking right in her own eyes. The singer doesn’t want to talk about Dreamcatcher, because she knows it would upset the woman in front of her, so she tries carefully to ask her:

  
\- Apparently? What do you mean with “apparently”?  
\- Well… I have a boyfriend who is way too perfect. Minji wants me to talk to him.  
\- I-… I don’t understand. – she is lost since she was sure Bora was about to talk about her former members. – Is it not a good thing to be perfect?  
\- It would be if it didn’t feel fake. – the redhaired makes a pause to order another round of beers and snacks – I feel like there’s no communication between us, like we don’t know each other.

  
Siyeon just looks at her with a huge question mark written all over her face, making Bora raise her eyebrows, like telling her to voice out her thoughts.

  
\- Don’t you spend time with each other often? You know… doing couple stuff?  
\- Couple stuff? – Bora’s cheeks get redder at the sudden question, but tries to stay calm and answer as the grown-up she is – Sex is not the only important thing in a relation-  
\- OH NO, GOD, I WASN’T ASKING ABOUT THAT – the other woman interrupts, disgusted – I was talking about dates, trips, maybe some hobbies you could share… Jesus.  
\- Aaah… - Bora just laughs at the funny confusion – Well, we have had some proper dates and we have traveled a bit, but the only thing that we have in common is our love for tv dramas.  
\- So, the problem is the things you have in common…  
\- Not exactly. As I said, we don’t communicate. For example, the day that we stayed until late at the company because we were at the dance practice room together? I was supposed to meet him after work, but I cancelled on him without exactly telling him why and he just said “ok”.  
\- Was it always like that?  
\- Yeah.  
\- …It’s like he doesn’t care whether he gets to see you or not – Siyeon thinks out loud.  
\- Exactly! – Bora’s arms gesture lets her know that she got the point of the problem - Once, I was being an ass to him because I had a shitty day at the company, and he didn’t even complain about it.  
\- Did he ask you at least?  
\- No! He just ordered some food for the both of us and asked me if I wanted to watch the next episode of the drama we are watching.  
\- And I thought I was the weirdo in a relationship – the singer tries to lighten the mood successfully as the redhaired one laughs.  
\- Are you in a relationship? – curiously, she asks.  
\- Me?  
\- Yeah. You know we don’t have a ban policy on relationships in our company, right? – she clarifies, trying to make the other one comfortable with the conversation.  
\- Oh, yeah, I remember Minji explaining that part of the contract in our first meeting, but no, I’m not in a relationship.  
\- Have you had one before? I mean, you seem to have a bit of experience on dating…

Siyeon becomes uncomfortable at the question. Yes, she has had relationships before, but with women, which is still a troublesome thing in the country. In fact, her only two relationships were hidden from everyone and disguised as friendship when she had to tell her parents where she was heading off whenever she left home. Her little sister did know and has no problem with her sexuality, but Siyeon hadn't told anyone else.

  
\- Yeah. – she simply says.

  
Even though Bora seems to be very open, she doesn’t know if she should tell anything to her. If the director is not as open-minded as her sister, she could lose her job. Probably. Now that she knows that the CEO and Yoohyeon aren't exactly closed-minded, Siyeon doesn't know if she would lose her job or simply earn the disgust of the woman in front of her. Which also makes her wonder if Bora knows about the other two.

  
\- And how was him? – she gets the singer out of her thoughts.  
\- Him?  
\- Yeah, your ex.  
\- Ah… Fine, I guess. We didn’t last for too long. – Siyeon sees Bora’s face change at that, a bit of concern taking over the small smile she has been portraying the last hour. – I moved to Seoul, that’s the main reason. Plus, we weren’t exactly having a great relationship, so we decided to break up.  
\- Seems like a nice way of breaking up. – the woman sighs.  
\- You could have this kind of break up if you talk to him nicely, you know. But first you need to make sure if you really want to break up or if it’s just a miscommunication thing.

  
The director is surprised by the maturity Siyeon is showing through the conversation. She thought that the singer was rather introverted and a bit childish, since she has always shown a shyer side to her and, in the auditions, she didn’t know how to face a problematic situation. However, the Siyeon in front of her is a woman who seems to know what she is talking about and who understands her. Maybe the picture she had of her was the product of her own attitude towards her.

  
\- So… Are you going to tell me what you did in the dance practice room that made you panic? – the black-haired woman gets startled at the sudden question.  
\- I beg your pardon?  
\- You were all flustered and panic was all over your face when I found you there.  
\- I-I didn’t break anything. – Bora raises an eyebrow at that, like she isn’t buying it. – I was singing a bit too loud, maybe, and I thought you heard me from your office?  
\- Are you asking me or are you answering me? – the director laughs as Siyeon panics again. – Plus, the dance practice room is soundproof. It doesn’t matter how loud you are in there; no one will hear you unless they open the door.  
\- Aaah… Then I should not have panicked that bad… - she is trying really hard to end this conversation.  
\- Were you practicing with anyone else? – she keeps asking.  
\- … N-no, why?  
\- You left the lights on. – she nags at her.  
\- Ah… I’ll make sure to turn them off next time. – she pretends to apologize.  
\- Minji is going to kill you, she is super obsessed with being a “green company” – she air-quotes and Siyeon just laughs uncomfortably at that, trying to push the pictures of her CEO and her friend doing it away from her mind.

  
Time passes by very quickly and it's when the bar is half empty that they realize what time it is.

  
\- I’ll pay – Bora suddenly says.  
\- W-What? No, we should split the bill!  
\- Nope. – the director puts her hand over Siyeon’s one and squeezes it – I want to do this. Take this “date” we had as a celebration of us bonding properly and not avoiding each other anymore.

  
The singer’s heart warms at those words, the memory she had of the cheerful and fun Bora, during the Dreamcatcher era, becoming more and more real. Maybe both of them can actually become closer, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST KISS ALREADY


	9. ZzZz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is it coming out international day yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the possible mistakes, I didn't have time to edit this one :(

Minji is walking towards the company, wearing her usual smart look. Back during her idol days, she would be the last one to get up, but now she’s the one who leaves Yoohyeon whining in their bed and gets to the company earlier than most of her friends. As she is reaching the elevator at the ground floor, she sees Siyeon already getting in it.

  
\- Hi, you are early today – she greets.

  
The black-haired woman looks at her and the CEO sees big dark circles around her eyes.

  
\- Rough night? – the purple-haired woman chuckles.  
\- Ah… - the singer huffs as she presses the button to the company’s floor – I went out with Bora and got home at 3 am…  
\- Uuuh… Just the both of you? How come?

  
Siyeon tenses up at the question, remembering the real reason why she pulled Bora out of the building.

  
\- I-… We-… - her brain is not working correctly due to the lack of sleep and the weird situation she is in.  
\- You okay there, Ms. Siyeon? – Minji smiles.

  
The woman snorts anxiously and looks at her boss in the eyes.

  
\- Can I be honest with y-

  
The elevator reaches the right floor and, as Siyeon was trying to elaborate her words, a man appears right behind its doors.

  
\- Mr. Park. – Minji changes her cheerful tone and becomes more serious and neutral as she greets said man. - To what do I owe this pleasure?  
\- Ms. Kim, I know we didn’t schedule a meeting, but I may insist on taking some of your time. – he answers back, in a snobbish way.

The CEO looks at the singer and nods, signaling her to meet later.

  
\- Please, come with me, Mr. Park.

  
Siyeon can sense some discomfort in her boss’ words and sees how the two of them walk towards her office. It is the first time that she has seen Minji so uncomfortable with one of the investors. In fact, it's the first time she's seen this Mr. Park. She shakes her head, trying not to worry too much and walks towards the music room to play the piano a bit. Siyeon wanted to come to the company early today to have some time alone with it, as it’s her favorite instrument since she was a child. Because her apartment is tiny, she can't even bring a keyboard in there, so it's not uncommon for her to seize the opportunity to use it whenever she can in the company.

After a couple of hours of playing piano and solo singing at the music room, the singer finds herself laying in the break room, trying to get a small nap before getting in the booth with Yubin for 3 hours. She can even feel her throat sore due to exhaustion and she curses herself for not having more than 4 hours of sleep, but she starts to drift off anyways.

  
\- I can’t stand him. – Siyeon opens her eyes abruptly as she hears what she deduces is Minji’s voice.  
\- Did he pressure you again to make you change our year planning? – now it’s Yoohyeon’s voice that echoes through the hallway next to the room.  
\- Not only the planning, also the policies. He wants me to pressure some of our artists to get some stuff more than twice a year. – footsteps can be heard closer as the conversation flows and, suddenly, the door of the break room opens.  
\- Babe, I told you I can drop something as he wants if that keeps him away from your of-… Siyeon? – the gray-haired one is surprised to see the woman barely sitting up in the large sofa.  
\- Hey… I was trying to get some sleep before working with Yubin in some stuff…  
\- Oh… - Siyeon can sense how Yoohyeon is all tensed up. – And… why is that?

Minji decides to step in the conversation, trying to control the possible mistake of outing their relationship to an employee:

  
\- Ah, she went out to drink last night with Bora – she teases – She still needs to explain me how that happened.  
\- It’s okay. – Siyeon sighs, the other two women a bit confused – I’m going to be honest; I think it’s better for you two to know the truth so you can be more careful next ti-  
\- What are you talking about? – Siyeon grunts at being interrupted again as Bora appears behind the couple. – Why are all of you here?  
\- How was your date last night, huh? I didn’t know you were into girls, Ms. SuA – The CEO keeps teasing about last night events and the singer’s mouth drops open when she hears her.  
\- What date? – Bora scoffs annoyed – Stop pushing your gay agenda on me, Kim Minji.  
\- I mean, you both look like shit today and Siyeon told me you got home late, so…  
\- OMG BORA? I THOUGHT YOU WERE AVOIDING SIYEON? – Yoohyeon voice echoes through the room and the CEO laughs at her girlfriend’s reaction.

Bora sits on the sofa that it’s right next to the one Siyeon is using and she sighs for the umptieth time right before looking at the singer:

  
\- Can you explain them once for all about last night?

  
She stays quiet for a moment, taking in the whole situation. Maybe Bora wasn’t so close-minded. Maybe Minji and Yoohyeon weren’t so secretive about their affairs. But she isn’t planning on outing them without any kind of precaution.

  
\- I was about to do so, but first, Yoohyeon, can you close the door? – once the younger one hesitantly does so, she continues – Yesterday, I finished my scheduled activities pretty late and, since I’ve been looking for Bora these past two weeks, I went to the dance practice room to check if she was ther-  
\- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NONONONO – Yoohyeon panics, imagining the outcome of the story.  
\- What?! Why are you yelling?! – the director scolds her.

The CEO’s face just shows pure horror.

  
\- They were in there and I panicked and then you appeared out of nowhere and I panicked more, so I dragged you out of the company before you could get a sneak of what was happening in there. – she rushes out as subtly as she can while the younger one covers her face in embarrassment.

  
Siyeon just hopes she hasn’t just outed the couple and waits for Bora to react, the room getting quiet for a minute, until:

  
\- NOT IN THE DANCE PRACTICE ROOM, FOR FUCKS SAKE, MINJI.  
\- I’m sorry! We saw the mirror and Yoohyeon looked so pretty in her floral dress, I couldn’t resist h-  
\- DUDE, YOU HAVE AN OFFICE. DO IT ON YOUR DESK MAYBE?

  
It’s now the singer the one who is shocked by the scene that’s being played right in front of her.

  
\- Yo-you knew? – she asks.  
\- Of course! Minji is my best friend, why wouldn’t I?  
\- I don’t know… People are not really tolerant about this kind of … stuff?  
\- Boomers can suck a-  
\- Please, don’t finish that sentence – the gray-haired woman pleads, disgust shown on her face.  
\- Well – the smaller one lays further in the couch – Thank goodness it was Siyeon who caught you and not someone else. Although – she looks at the singer now – I’m a bit hurt that last night wasn’t about bonding but about you panicking instead.  
\- I’m sorry… - Siyeon pouts a bit – At first, yeah, it was about protecting them, but then I really enjoyed our… - she looks back at Yoohyeon, winking – date?  
\- I swear to god, both of you look like the worst friendship I’m gonna have to handle for the next years. – Bora complains at the never-ending teasing she is receiving.

Minji, who has been quiet all this time, seems to relax a bit and heads to sit next to Siyeon:

  
\- Thank you for protecting us. – she grabs the singer’s hand to put it between both her hands – And for being so nice to us.  
\- You don’t need to thank me.  
\- Well… - the taller woman approaches the couch too and takes the spot next to Bora – It’s not usual for us to meet people who actually don’t mind us being together, so… Thank you.

The singer stares at her hand which the CEO is caressing. Must have been hard for them to keep their relationship in the dark.

  
\- How long have you been together? – the question seems to create a bit of confusion as the three other women exchange looks – Oh… You were together during Dreamcatcher…  
\- Yes, they were. – Bora is the one answering, with a soft smile, while Minji and Yoohyeon seem to still be uncomfortable about the subject – Please, understand that it’s not something everyone can know.  
\- I understand, I won’t say anything, don’t worry.

Silence reigns in the room again. The couple still don't seem very comfortable with the fact that someone outside of their former group knows about their relationship. That is, not even their own families know about it, which also makes their life as a couple severely limited.

  
\- You never get used to it, huh? – Siyeon huffs, making everyone look at her, a silent question hanging between them – You never get used to hide. I thought I’d never have a problem with it when I had a girlfriend, but I guess that was just because I never lasted that long with them...  
\- Are you… - the director never gets to finish the question, feeling like she might be overstepping by tagging the singer.  
\- I’m gay, yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted Siyeon to come out before getting into another parts of the story... so, yeah, short update. Hope you did enjoy it!


	10. I miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions. Lots of emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes to my local friend, who got caught in the plot and basically forced me to keep on writing for the whole weekend lmao
> 
> Espero que este bollodrama te guste :D

Siyeon is nervous.

  
It’s the first time that she is in front of a camera. Well, not literally. But it’s the first time that she is in front of a camera to record a video that will be uploaded to the internet. Yoohyeon explained her a few days ago that it’s necessary to start introducing her to create some expectation about her debut and, perhaps, to be able to catch the attention of some potential fans. Apparently, with the resulting video, they’ll open their first official social networks. So yes, the singer is very nervous. This video will give the first impression of her to her future fans and she doesn't want to give the wrong image. It’s normal that she is already being introduced to the public and that she should start preparing videos, covers and all those things, after all it has been almost half a year since she signed her contract. Half a year practicing every day, recording guides, doing and repeating performances over and over again. She should be ready. But when she looks at the person behind the camera, staring at her expectantly, Siyeon feels insecure. A month ago, Yoohyeon introduced her to her manager, a man named Jin, and although he is kind and funny, the singer still doesn't have enough confidence with him to speak freely and demonstrate her capabilities in front of him. And the camera. She would have preferred to do this with the gray-haired one, because she is sure she could bring out her more playful and more casual side for the video.

  
However, the day she was introduced to her manager, Yoohyeon already hinted that the other women were going to be a lot busier than normal. The singer deduced that this had to do with the conversation she overheard between her boss and her friend about the visit of this Mr. Park. So, these last few weeks she had been practicing alone most of the time, only a few times she had been able to sing along with Yoohyeon or record in the studio with Yubin. She would see Minji in the hallways and she almost always seemed a lot more stressed than usual. And Bora… She hasn't seen her.

  
\- I can’t do this. – Siyeon confesses to Jin.  
\- What? Why? – he turns off the camera and gets a bit closer to her – I know you are nervous about the video, but you’ll do well. We have been practicing what you are going to say and so on, I’m pretty sure you are going to nail it!  
\- I-I don’t know… I’m blocked. I-I can’t do this.  
\- Okay, okay, breathe. Let’s take a break and let’s try again in a few minutes, right? – he tries to calm the singer down and she just nods.

Unfortunately, Siyeon isn’t the only one struggling at the company right now. Handong had been being harassed by her former groupmates into joining the company and today, again, she came to see Minji. The CEO no longer knows what to offer her for the Chinese to accept the proposal.

  
\- I don’t understand, Dong… I’m trying here, you know? – she basically cries to the model, who is sitting restlessly in front of her.  
\- I know, Jiu… - she says as she reaches for the CEO’s hand - But I can’t say yes yet. I have to do something before.

Minji admires how the former member is able to look so serious and elegant while being warm and friendly. That last facet is something that Handong did not show in the first months of training with the other members, but that little by little she let out in privacy. It’s something that only Dreamcatcher and some fans have seen, and the former leader has missed it.

  
\- What do you have to do that is SOOOOO important before saying yes to me? – she whines while she lays back on her chair, knowing that the Chinese one can’t resist her pouty side.  
\- Actually… - she gives up a bit – I need to talk to SuA and Dami first.  
\- What? – she sits up right away and looks at the other woman. -Bora too?  
\- I need to talk to them.  
\- But… They also want you to sign the contract…? – Minji looks like she is trying to connect the missing dots – I… I understand nothing. Yubin AND Bora? Both?  
\- I won’t be comfortable until we talk.  
\- And what’s stopping you?  
\- I can’t find the right moment… You are all super busy with Siyeon’s pre-debut stuff, Yoohyeon’s first single, meetings, … I don’t want to disturb them. I mean, even you are busy, why did you want to meet with me again? We met yesterday, Jiu.  
\- I always have time for my members. And I’m pretty sure Bora and Yubin do to. – Handong huffs at those words, loosing a bit of her royal look for a moment. – And why do you keep calling us by our stage names? Not that I don’t like it, but I like it better when you call me by Minji.

The other woman chuckles at the question and rolls her eyes at the not-so-subtle change of subject.

  
\- I’m used to it, I guess… But don’t worry Ms. Kim Minji, I’ll try to call you by your name. – she teases the former leader.  
\- See? This way sounds like we are actually friends – she smiles goofily.  
\- Yeah, yeah… - the model leans back and gazes her – What are you going to do when Yoohyeon releases her first single and all the media is going to go nuts about it?

The CEO remembers how her girlfriend was always the focus of entertainment shows and cameras thanks to her cheerful and jovial personality. She also remembers perfectly the day they were told that Yoohyeon would go to one of the Seoul Fashion Week catwalks and Minji was not surprised: the woman had a slender and slim body, and long legs, the perfect body within the standards. of beauty to which they were subjected. So yeah, she can imagine how the flashes will re-focus on her, how Yoohyeon will come home late for filming entertainment shows to promote her music, and how the two of them will have to be extremely cautious about everything they do in public. The couple are not very excited about the idea of going around again watching their backs in case someone sees them together, but the gray-haired woman pushed her to release her music after Mr. Park’s visit because, in her words, that’s the only way for him to get off Minji’s back.

  
\- I guess I’ll make delicious dinner for my girlfriend, because she is going to be exhausted when she comes home late – her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.  
\- I’m happy our clumsy Yoohyeon has someone like you by her side. – the Chinese woman tries to cheer her up.  
\- And we are lucky to have you guys as our friends, seriously.

They both fall into a comfortable silence looking at each other but get startled by a knock on the CEO’s office.

  
\- Come in.

  
It is Bora who enters through the door.

\- Am I interrupting something? – she asks.  
\- Actually, Handong wanted to talk to you – said woman gasps at the purple-haired one’s betrayal. – And I’m going to call Yubin in too. Give me a second.  
\- I-I don’t understand? – the director looks at Minji, confused – I have to prepare some stuff for tomorrow’s meeting with Mr. Kim and Mr. Lee.  
\- I know, but this is more important. – she says as she gets her phone to call the third woman.

Bora is still confused by the sudden urge of the situation she has found herself in, but takes a seat next to the model and waits for the producer to get there. It doesn’t take long until Yubin comes in and stands awkwardly in the middle of the room.

  
\- There you go, Dong. Now you have all the time to talk to them – she winks as she stands and walks towards the door – I’ll be back whenever you are done.

  
The three woman that are left in the room stay silent for a while. Yubin doesn’t even dare to look at the other two, her eyes going through the pictures hanging on the wall, making the director huff.

  
\- What are we doing here? – she asks, a bit annoyed, and looks at the Chinese woman, waiting for an answer.  
\- I-… - Handong gulps and downs her eyes to her lap – I-I wanted to apologize.

At those words, Yubin turns her head instantly towards the woman speaking.

  
\- Why would you apologize? Don’t be ridiculous – the producer barks, anger on her voice.  
\- Because of what I did.  
\- You didn’t do anything wrong – Bora tries to stay calm, knowing now perfectly why she is stuck in the room.  
\- Yes, I did. – her voice trembles.  
\- It was me who fucked up, Handong, not you – Yubin argues.  
\- No, Yubin, you were a victim – the model looks at her – It's me who made the wrong choice, thinking that it was the best way to help you out.  
\- It’s me the one who was out of the line all the time, even when our manager told me to step back.  
\- It’s me who got SuA injured! – Handong is crying at this point, her voice louder than normal.  
\- NEITHER OF YOU DID ANYTHING WRONG, FOR FUCKS SAKE! – the director shouts and the other two women look at her, shocked– Neither of you have to apologize… If I went back to that moment, I would do what I did again, without a doubt. – she stands and paces the room a bit, until she turns and looks at them - Even if that means being where I am now, I would do it again. You are my colleagues and friends, Jesus Christ, I love you too much and I hate seeing you suffer because of some idiots who think they know more about us than we do.  
\- But, your leg… - the producer mutters loud enough for Bora to hear it.  
\- What about it? It’s my fault, I didn’t want to go to the doctor that day, that’s on me.  
\- If I didn’t say what I said, you would still be able to dance like before. – the Chinese is still crying softly as she tries to get the words out of her mouth.  
\- If you hadn't done and said what you did, maybe it would be Yubin who would be in my place or, maybe, in a worse situation than mine. – she scoffs and crosses her arms together – This is what they want: to make us feel guilty for thinking differently. And we have done nothing wrong, Yubin has done nothing wrong. She hasn't hurt anyone. They are the ones who wanted to hurt her. – she makes a pause and stares at the model – Do you still want to make it up to Yubin and me? Then sign the contract. Join us. Work for Happy Face Company and grow with us.

  
Handong stares back, tears still running down her cheeks. Suddenly, she feels how the producer takes the seat that Bora has vacated and runs her thumb over her wet cheeks. Yubin hadn’t been so close with her for a long time and the truth is that she's missed those small gestures of affection that she shows from time to time.

  
\- Please, stay with us, Handong – the auburn one pleads – We won’t move over this situation until we are together again. Even if Dreamcatcher is not going to comeback, we want you to stay with us.  
\- O-… Okay… fine – she sniffs – I mean, I don’t have a job right now, so…

  
She gets to lighten the mood in the room as the other two smile brightly at her.

  
\- I’ll call Minji, so she can get back here - the producer says as she pulls her phone out of her pocket.  
\- Yeah, do that before she sees Yoohyeon and dirties another room with their never-ending sexual arousal for each other. – Bora urges.  
\- Excuse me – she gets caught by Minji, who suddenly gets in the room, startling everyone – Don’t take it on us because your love life sucks.  
\- Wha- Did you listen to our conversation? – Yubin asks, a bit shocked.  
\- Were you spying on us again, Minji? – the director gazes the woman.  
\- I heard Bora’s loud voice from the break room and thought that maybe you were either killing each other or having a party, so I decided to come and take a look of you three. – she simply says, as she goes to the Chinese woman and crouches down and places a hand on her thigh – Are you okay? Is everything okay? Did Bora yell at you?  
\- HEY! – said woman complains.  
\- Nah - the model chuckles lightly as she wipes out the remaining tears – She was nice.  
\- Well then… Are you now ready to sign? – the former leader asks cautiously.

Handong nods vigorously and sits up, her elegant self coming back as all those stuck emotions wash off her body.

  
\- Welcome to Happy Face Company, Dong – Minji smiles brightly and stands to open her arms, offering a hug that the model accepts gladly.

As the model smiles, Bora feels like something she has had in the back of her head for a long time comes to light through the tears that suddenly flow from her eyes when she sees her two friends hugging, and she puts a hand to her face to avoid being seen. However, as if she had a sixth sense, Minji notices her change in mood and extends one of her arms towards her, inviting her to join in the hug, and Bora agrees to it without thinking twice, breaking down completely when she feels the arms of the CEO and her former member surrounding her body. It’s a rare sight seeing her this weak and fragile, and Yubin comes to her too, caressing her back.

  
\- O-Okay, y’all need to get back to work and Handong needs to sign the contract – the director pulls away, still whimpering a bit – I’m going to splash some water on my face and, you know, fix this mess of a face.  
\- Why don’t you take a break and go to your office or eat something at the break room? – Minji suggests, concerned at her best friend’s state.  
\- Yeah, maybe I’ll do that.  
\- I’ll stay with Minji to help her with Handong’s paperwork and contract, don’t worry - the producer adds.

Bora nods at them and, before leaving, grabs the Chinese woman’s hand and squeezes it one last time, as if she wanted to reinforce what she had said during their conversation. Then, she heads off to the break room, thinking that she might grab some snack before locking herself up in her office. She remembers that Minji had bought fruit two days ago and that she had left it in the small fridge in the room, so when she arrives, she goes straight to it and grabs an apple. Without washing or peeling it, she takes a bite out of it as she makes her way back to her office. However, she stops when she sees Siyeon, who is immersed in her phone, not far from her. The singer seems flustered as she is furiously tapping her phone screen and snorting, and Bora thinks twice before approaching her.

  
\- Everything okay? - her voice still a bit croaky.

  
The black-haired woman looks up from the screen and her eyes widen as she sees red-puffy cheeks on the other woman’s face.

  
\- I could ask the same thing… Are you okay?

Bora sighs at the question and makes a gesture, telling Siyeon to follow her. They get into her office, the director locking the door when the other woman gets in. Then she goes to the chair at her desk and plops down there, and Siyeon takes the hint and sits across from her on the other side of the desk.

  
\- You had to record your first video today, right? – she asks back, avoiding the question, as she takes another bite of her apple.  
\- Yeah…  
\- How was it? Yoohyeon told me you even wrote down a script.  
\- Ah… I was really nervous, I still am.- she buffs and Bora hums in response – I recorded the video already, thanks to Jin, he is really nice… But… I don’t think people will like me… I mean… I’m not as bubbly or bright as other people… And my voice is wei-  
\- Oh, cut the crap, Siyeon. You are here because you are more than capable to succeed as a singer.

The woman looks at her boss with some insecurity in her eyes. Although she and Bora didn't get off to a good start, now they both seemed to connect better. The director is not so strict and professional with her now, and the singer is more comfortable around her. Their relationship is almost like the one Siyeon shares with Yoohyeon and Yubin.

  
\- I missed you. – she blurts out.

  
It’s true. Siyeon had missed the security Bora gives her, that sense of empowerment that she had gained from her long practice sessions with this woman. The director is not only her boss, but also her support. But when she realizes what she just said, her gaze drifts away from her. Bora seems surprised at Siyeon's sudden confession, however, not even a second later, she smiles sweetly.

  
\- You missed me? How could you miss me if I’m always bossing you around? – she chuckles.  
\- I-… I don’t know, I mean, it’s normal that you boss me around? You are my boss after all. - she tries not to panic - Anyways, I wished you were there while I was recording. I’d have felt more confident, I guess.

The redhaired woman throws away her finished apple.

  
\- I missed your face too, silly – now is Bora the one who is looking at the walls, a bit shy – There’s no fun in doing paperwork all day… I miss our practice sessions.  
\- Paperwork is never fun.  
\- True - they laugh lightly, and Bora looks back at Siyeon again – Handong is going to sign with us, finally.  
\- Oh, really? That’s good right? – the singer smiles.  
\- Yeah, it’s great – Siyeon’s smiles spreads to her face too – We even got to talk some things she has held for a long time and it was… It’s a good thing we got to put some stuff out.  
\- Is that why you…? - the other woman doesn’t finish her sentence, but points at Bora’s reddish nose.  
\- Yeah…  
\- Do you feel better now?  
\- I do – her smile gets wider at the concern shown by Siyeon.  
\- Then it’s great. No one likes your grumpy side, it’s a bit annoying – she jokes and earns a scoff from the other woman.  
\- Anyways – Bora sits up a bit – Do you want to grab a beer? I think I’m done for today, I’m exhausted.  
\- I’m always up for a beer. Can my sister join us? I was texting her before and we were planning to go to that bar at the city center.  
\- Sure, bring her, I’ll let the others know so they can join too. I think they also need some break from this weird day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bora? Are you catching feelings?
> 
> Anyways! I'll be gone for a couple of days, so next update will probably take longer than expected. BUT, in compensation, here is a longer update ^^


	11. Wind Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora being done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> I know I said I was gonna be away (I actually am) and I'd take more to update. But, due to recent events, I feel like we need (I NEED) something to make me forget about it.
> 
> Insomnias, enjoy <3

Siyeon had left the company earlier to meet her little sister first and then go to the bar together. As soon as they see the other five women, Gahyeon automatically grabs her older sister's shirt, shyly.

  
\- What’s up? – she whispers, not turning to look at her sibling, who is using her as a shield – God, you are a grown up woman, don’t act like you are still 5 years old.

  
The younger doesn’t answer as they finally approach them. It is Minji who greets, keeping a little distance between them, the little sister first, her warm smile helping the other to feel more comfortable. However, Gahyeon's eyes don't lose sight of Bora. Although her older sister is already getting along with her, the little one still doesn't trust her. After all, the first meeting between those two was totally disastrous and Gahyeon fears the woman a bit.

  
\- This is Gahyeon, my little sister. – Siyeon tries to uncover her sister, who is still hiding partially behind her. – Sis, these are my bosses.  
\- Wow, that’s rude! – Yoohyeon chastises – At least tell her our names!  
\- Do it by yourself, you are going to sit on the same table, Jesus Christ – the singer rolls her eyes at her friend, getting a chuckle from Minji.  
\- Are you two 10 years old or what? – Bora huffs as she turns to get in the bar – Let’s get in once for all!

  
Gahyeon still hasn't uttered a single word and her sister, knowing her, is sure that her muteness will be short-lived once the drinks are on the table. They sit at a round table and order the first round of beers, along with some snacks, and they fall into a comfortable and simple conversation until the waiter arrives with everything ordered.

  
\- Okay, so… - Minji raises her glass – To Handong, our new model!  
\- WELCOME BACK, DONGDONG!! – the gray-haired woman says excitedly.

  
Couple rounds later, Yubin and Siyeon are talking about new releases by well-known artists, while Handong and Yoohyeon practice Chinese at the request of the latter one.

  
\- So, Gahyeon, what are you studying at university? – Minji looks at her, her smile never fading away.  
\- I… I study Mathematics.  
\- Wow, so you have a big brain, huh? That’s so cool!  
\- What year are you in? – Bora asks, trying to get Gahyeon to warm up to her.  
\- This is my first year.  
\- Ah… - the CEO chuckles – You are just like your sister, shy at the beginning, huh?  
\- I hope she is not like her sister when she gets a couple more beers then – the director jokes, winking at the little sister.  
\- Siyeon is way better than me when we are drunk, she is quieter… I get very loud.  
\- Oh God – Bora complains dramatically – I can’t even handle the big Lee when she is drunk, how am I going to handle the little one?

  
Gahyeon laughs at the antics that the redhaired woman is pulling and finds herself more comfortable with her sister’s bosses. The truth is that the director is much kinder than what her sister had told her when she auditioned. Since she sat down, Bora hasn’t stopped talking to her along with Minji, the two of them making sure the little sister didn’t feel left out.

  
\- Can I ask you something? – she looks at the redhaired one.

  
Bora eyes her friend, who is also surprised by the sudden request. The director looks back at Gahyeon, nodding and waiting for her to elaborate her question.

  
\- You are not going to hurt my sister again, right?

  
Minji's eyes soften at the question and, under the table, taps Bora's leg with her foot, as telling her that she’s there. The latter tries to relax and think a good way to put her feelings into words.

  
\- I was rude to your sister, I know. It wasn’t personal, I had some issues I needed to solve, I still do. But your sister didn’t deserve that shitty reaction from me.  
\- She told me you apologized, but you need to know that Siyeon loves music and she left everything behind just to audition. She might be shy at the beginning, but she is a great singer and she is definitely not a coward.

  
This is not going as Gahyeon planned. She’s blurting stuff at this point and she can see how the redhaired is getting a bit upset at her words. The young woman sighs and looks at the glass in front of her.

  
\- What I mean is that I’m happy that you two get along now. She trusts you. A lot. She talks about your teachings and so on, she looks happy when she does. Please, don’t turn your back at her.

  
Bora is stunned at her words. She didn’t know Siyeon really trusted her for good. Of course they have shared some beers and secrets, but she feels like she doesn’t deserve it since she literally murdered her self-esteem at the audition and then proceeded to avoid her for a long time. She still feels bad when she remembers Siyeon’s face full of fear everytime they were in the same space.

  
\- I won’t. She is not only my employee, she is also a friend. I would never turn my back on her – she assures her.  
\- Good, because I’ll kill you if you do.  
\- Nice, good to know – the director chuckles.

  
It’s late when they pay their tab and start heading back to their respective homes. However, when leaving the bar, Bora remembers that tonight Jae is sleeping at home and automatically a sigh comes out of her mouth. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the singer, who turns to look at her.

  
\- What’s wrong?  
\- Jae is in my place today.  
\- Did you forget again about him? -Siyeon can’t avoid laughing softly at that possibility.  
\- Since I’m busier than usual, we agreed on spending together three nights a week. This week is in my place, next week is in his place.  
\- Oh, that’s nice though? It looks like he is trying to be better at communication?  
\- I guess… - she huffs, not wanting to continue the conversation – Good night, Siyeon.  
\- See you tomorrow, Bora – the singer places her hand on the other's shoulder and squeezes it a bit.  
\- HEY! – Gahyeon shouts drunkly from not too far away – GOOD NIGHT!  
\- Why are you so loud?! Go to sleep already! – she scoffs at the little one in a jokingly way.

  
Since Minji and Yoohyeon live relatively close to Bora, they offer to drive her home in the CEO’s car, who has only had two beers. During the ride, Bora thinks about her pending conversation with her boyfriend and about what she feels. What if the problem was hers? What if she was pouring out her frustrations on their relationship? Perhaps she was looking for something other than her injury to blame for her unhappiness.

  
\- What do you guys think of Jae? – she asks lowly.  
\- What do you mean? – Yoohyeon asks back, looking briefly at her through the mirror.  
\- Do you think he is nice? Do you think that maybe I’m the one spoiling our relationship?  
\- Oh no, Bora, we are not having this conversation when you are tipsy in the backseat of my car. But no, you are mot spoiling anything – the CEO tries to calm her friend.

  
Bora just hums and stares out of the window until they stop at her doorstep.

  
\- Please, don’t think about that tonight. – Minji says – Sleep and tomorrow we’ll talk about it.  
\- Yeah, okay… See you tomorrow, guys.  
\- I love you, Bora – Yoohyeon says, her words a bit slurred.  
\- I love you too, weirdo – she smiles.

  
The director goes up to her apartment and opens the door, finding her boyfriend on her chaise-longue watching TV. She takes off her shoes and with her body totally defeated, she sits next to him, Jae's arm immediately around her.

  
\- How was your day, babe?- he asks, his eyes fixed on the screen.  
\- Well… - she sighs, getting comfortable in his embrace – It was busy and horrible.  
\- Oh no, that’s so bad! Hope tomorrow is better – he cheers, his eyes still on the drama that’s on the screen.  
\- Yeah. At least I got to talk with Handong and I ended up crying.  
\- I’m happy you did!  
\- What? Are you happy that I cried?  
\- Oh, nonono, honey, I’m happy that you guys talked – he tries to fix it, now pulling his gaze away from the TV, but Bora is already getting out of his embrace and walking towards the bedroom – Sweetie, wait.  
\- It’s okay Jae, I’m tired, I’m going to bed.  
\- I’m coming with you then – he says while standing up and turning the TV off.  
\- You can keep watching your drama, don’t worry – she tries to end the conversation before she loses her patience.  
\- No, honey, I feel bad for what I said, I didn’t mean to-  
\- But you did – the director finally snaps at him – You weren’t listening, like always.  
\- I do listen to you.  
\- Do you? Because you don’t seem to. You always answer with non-meaningful phrases like you just did.  
\- I’m bad with wor-  
\- You are a writer, Jae.

  
He does not respond to that. Jae stays still looking at her speechless and she simply sighs before reaching the room and start changing into her pajamas. The writer makes his way too to the room after her:

  
\- You know what? You are always mad at me and you throw all your shit at me always. Even if I don’t have anything to do with it – his voice gets louder than usual and that startles the woman, who’s unbuttoning her shirt.  
\- I know I do sometimes and I’m sorry for that – she apologizes, turning to face him again – I should work on that, but I’m getting better, I promise.

  
He approaches her and hugs her, caressing her half-naked back, Bora relaxing in the warm hug. Jae pulls away a bit without totally breaking the embrace, his hand under her chin to lift her gaze, so he can kiss her. At the beginning, the kiss is slow and sweet, their lips caressing each other, but suddenly, he adds some depth, the hand that was under her chin now runing down her torso.

  
\- What are you doing? – she mumbles against his lips.  
\- It’s been too long… - his other hand on her bra's clasp, trying to remove it.

  
The director moves away, annoyance evident on her face.

  
\- I’m tired Jae, I told you…  
\- You are always tired lately, Bora – he accuses – That or your knee hurts too much to even try to get in the mood.  
\- And what do you want me to say if that’s the truth? – her voice is matching his tone now and she can feel the anger boiling inside her body.  
\- Are you telling me that your knee hurts a lot that we can’t have sex, but then you spend hours dancing at the company?  
\- I’m trying to get better, I can’t lose all the muscles in my legs if I want to recover a bit of what my legs w-  
\- Just accept already that you are not going to dance anymore. It’s the reality. Your knee is lost and your dancing career too, everybody knows that.

  
Bora becomes quiet at his words, her eyes getting watery and her fists tight on her sides.

  
\- Leave.  
\- What?  
\- I said leave.  
\- First you insist me to tell you what’s on my mind and now that I do you get upset? – he tries to approach her – Sweetie, please, let’s get to bed and we will talk about it tomor – he gets his hand slapped away before it can land on her shoulder.  
\- LEAVE.

  
The redhaired woman’s face is wet as tears run through her cheeks, anger and sadness pooled in her chest. She can’t believe that her boyfriend had all those hurtful thoughts inside his skull. The man just looks at her disappointed and huffs before getting some of his stuff.

  
\- I’ll call you tomorrow to see if you have come back to your senses.

  
And with that, he leaves, slamming the door close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting from my phone, so I apologize for possible mistakes
> 
> I need a hug TT


	12. No more drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora gets to talk to Jae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Enjoy

This morning is going to be the first time that Yubin is going to read the songs that Yoohyeon has written and composed for years. Possibly since they were on Dreamcatcher, according to her. The tall woman left the folder in her studio last week, saying that she needed help choosing the songs that would be released. Due to all the workload the company has gotten this past month, the producer didn’t have time until today to read them carefully. However, two things weren’t expected from that folder: one, that the folder would weigh this much, and the other, that she would almost cry reading certain songs. Yubin can see her pain in them, her desire to be free and, sometimes, her desire to surrender and let it go. If Yoohyeon were with her right now in this room, she is sure that she would need to hug her after reading them.

  
Siyeon knocks on the door before opening it a bit, silently asking for permission to get in.

  
\- Give me a second – she sniffs, blinking away the few tears that are in her eyes.

  
She puts the folder in a drawer next to the production table and lets Siyeon know that she can come in.

  
\- You okay there? – the singer asks as she gets in.  
\- Yeah, it’s allergy.  
\- … Okay – she sits next to Yubin – Besides your “allergy”, how is everything going?  
\- Fine. I’m actually pretty good – the producer confesses.  
\- All of you seemed to be great last night. I guess it has something to do with Handong's contract…??

  
The other woman hums as she thinks about yesterday’s events.

  
\- I got to talk to Handong… - Yubin exhales – Well, WE got to talk to her.  
\- Bora and you, right? She told me and she was pretty happy with the conversation you had…  
\- Yeah, it was really nice to get out lots of worries. But we still need to talk, all of us. About the disbandment issue.  
\- So Yooh and Minji still don’t know anything…  
\- Yep. But I hope we do it before Yoohyeon's single is released.

  
The singer just nods. She still has no idea of what happened between them, everytime someone told her anything it was in a criptic way. But she understands, after all it’s non of her business. She just wants her friends to be happy.

  
Both friends decide to drop the topic and start talking about possible covers that Siyeon can do to impress and make her voice known. It takes some time to choose the perfect song to cover and a few hours to practice it and record it. Next part will be recording a video that some of the company's staff will do with the singer tomorrow.

  
\- I’ll see you… soon? – Siyeon says as she grabs her stuff and heads to the door.  
\- I hope so. I need some work to do until our next cover, though. But we can meet outside of the company, just text me whenever you want to grab a beer.  
\- Will surely do.

  
The black-haired woman walks down the hallway looking for the music room, but stumbles across a man whose face wasn’t familiar at all. She starts walking slower as she gets closer to the man that’s standing awkwardly in the middle of her way.

  
\- May I help you?

  
The man eyes her before giving his full attention, like making sure she was trustable.

  
\- I’m looking for Kim Bora. I’m her boyfriend, Young Jae.

  
Siyeon is a bit shocked that she got to meet him in this kind of environment and she wonders why he’d be there when Bora is surely busy.

  
\- If you don’t see her running from one side to another, she must be at her office or at the dance practice room.  
\- Can you show me where her office is?

  
The question Jae asked her is replayed in the back of her mind as her head just nods and she starts to walk towards said office.

  
\- Is it your first time here? – Siyeon asks.  
\- Yes.

  
She again finds herself wondering about the man, agreeing with what Bora told her about him. He looks like he has no interest in knowing her: in one year of relationship, he didn’t come to his girlfriend’s workplace. He surely isn’t talkative too, the singer just sticking to lead him towards ther boss's office. When she reaches her door, she thinks twice before signaling him to give her a minute, and she knocks on the door. A voice from inside the room gives her the cue to go in and she does, making sure to close the door behind her.

  
\- Siyeon, what’s up? – Bora greets her as she looks up from her desk full of documents.  
\- … Jae is here?  
\- Is that a question?  
\- Jae is here. Your boyfriend is here.

  
A sigh from the redhead tells Siyeon that his visit wasn’t planned or wanted and she is happy that she decided to warn her first before letting him in.

  
\- I can tell him to …? – The singer suggests.  
\- Nah, it’s fine. I have to talk to him – she leans back in her chair – but maybe we can go to the dance practice room later? We haven’t practice together lately.  
\- Yeah – Siyeon agrees smiling as she opens the door – See you later.

  
As she gets out, nods to Jae, telling him to go in. The director is trying to organize her desk as her boyfriend just walks in and stands in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets. Bora points him to sit as she finishes tidying up all the papers in front of her.

  
\- You said you’d call me, why did you come here instead?  
\- I think it’s better to talk face to face…

  
Bora silently agrees and takes a deep breath.

  
\- We have never fought. But we have never talked honestly either – she starts.  
\- I know. I’d like to apologize for not being as expressive as you needed. And I’m also sorry for last night. That wasn’t fair.  
\- It’s not that you weren’t expressive… I always had the feeling that you weren’t listening. I don’t know, maybe I expected you to sympathise more with me – she huffs – Anyways, I’m sorry for being a workaholic and taking all my stress out on you.  
\- It’s okay, I understand now. Must be hard working in the same place, but not being able to do the same things as before. I’m sorry it took me to lash out on you last night to take a minute to think about how you feel.

  
The director takes a minute for the words to sink in her brain, feeling how the anger starts to fade away and sadness coming out from her guts.

  
\- I guess we aren’t made for each other, huh? – she realises – I have some needs and issues that you don’t know how to handle, and viceversa.  
\- I can still learn how to b- he is interrupted by Bora.  
\- No, Jae, I can’t ask you to change. It’s not something you can change. Our way of being, our personalities, our minds work differently.

  
The man’s eyes widen as if he just got the hint that the director is giving him:

  
\- Do you want to break up?  
\- Yes, I think it’s the best option for us.  
\- But…  
\- Jae, our relationship has never been great, we’ve never been in love with each other. We were comfortable with each other’s company, but being in a relationship is not just about being comfortable with the other person. It’s much more.  
\- I know… - he snorts and lays back on the chair – You are right. We have never been in love, not even a bit. I guess we were just attracted to each other in a physical way…  
\- I mean, no one can resist this – she points at her body, wiggling her eyebrows and making the man chuckle – So… Thank you for all this time…  
\- Yeah. I hope you can find someone that makes you truly happy.  
\- I wish you the best too. – she stands and goes around her desk, opening her arms.

  
Jae takes her hug as he stands too, relaxing as they both pull away after some time.

  
\- I have some stuff that I’llhave to pick up from your place.  
\- Okay, just text me whenever you want to come over, I’ll try to fit my schedule to be there.  
\- Thank you – he says with a sad smile as he goes for the door – See you then, Bora.  
\- Bye, Jae.

  
The director is left alone in her office as Jae closes the door behind him. There is a swirl of confused feelings in her chest right now that she doesn't know how to stop it. She tries to take a deep breath and not get carried away by it, finally deciding to change her clothes to go to the dance practice room and wait for Siyeon there. The truth is that she wants to see the singer since they have not spent time alone in that room for a long time, and she misses hearing her voice and feeling that tingle on her skin every time she makes a high note. There have been a couple of times when she has been about to ask Yubin for a recording of the guides that Siyeon has made during these months, so she can listen to them at home. Honestly, she thinks her voice is unique and Bora is sure that she will never get tired of listening to it. Maybe that’s also why she has been finding herself listening more attentively to the woman when she is talking. She really enjoys it.

  
The redhaired woman makes her way to the dance room and lights up the entire place as she gets everything set up for the practice. She doesn’t have to wait longer for the singer to appear behind the door.

  
\- Hey – Siyeon waves a hand – how did it go?  
\- We broke up

  
The black-haired woman’s mouth opens a few times before it shuts definitely and, instead, decides to go to Bora and hug her tightly. The latter chuckles at her reaction and buries her nose in the other’s neck, exhaling deeply and relaxing a bit.

  
\- I know we are not that close, but if you want to talk... – the singer states as she doesn’t let her go yet – I might be a bit clumsy with words, but I’m good at listening and Gahyeon says my hugs are the best.  
\- Okay, thank you, Siyeon. – she chuckles lightly, the vibrations of her voice hitting Siyeon's skin as she keeps her face in the crook of her neck – Can we stay like this a bit more before practice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY
> 
> Can they kiss now?


	13. 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora opens up a bit with Siyeon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// a bit of smut at the beginning, if you wanna skip, start reading below the line
> 
> Also... I just learned that somnies used to write wrongly Yubin (instead of Yoobin)... So i'll correct her name in the other chapters too
> 
> I'd like to apologize for the mistakes on the last two chapters :/

\- Minji… - Yoohyeon moans when she feels her girlfriend’s fingers inside her and the purple-haired one groans as her girlfriend’s throat vibrate against her palm that is gripping her windpipe.

  
Normally, on a Sunday morning, Minji would be cooking some eggs and making coffee while the taller woman would be still snoring in bed. But today, she was woken up by Yoohyeon’s kisses on her neck and hands roaming her body.

  
\- More…, please… - the gray-haired woman begs, trembling.

  
The CEO doesn’t waste much time and complies with her demands, gripping her throat tighter and speeding up her pace, louder moans filling the room. She loves to see this side of her girlfriend, so bare, sweaty and wild, vulnerable just for her. At such a sight, Minji can’t help but to lean in and bite her lower lip, tugging at it, while Yoohyeon drags her nails across her shoulder blades and probably leaving some marks behind. As she comes undone, her eyes rolling back into her skull, her girlfriend eases her through her high, placing gentle kisses where her hand was restricting her air flow.

  
\- Such a good girl… – she mumbles against Yoohyeon's skin and her girlfriend only manages to hum in response.

  
These moments of intimacy and vulnerability they share make everything they went through worthy enough: the domestic behavior once they are home, their stolen kisses at the company, secret touches under tables, how they understand each other’s needs, … Of course it’s hard to be judged by people just because you love someone of your same gender and that might be a burden when your whole life revolves around the word “secret”, but Minji tries to focus on how lucky she is to be loved back as much as she loves her girlfriend. For her, getting to share the same apartment and waking up to a snuggly Yoohyeon is the best gift she could ever have.

  
\- Are you hungry? – the CEO asks as she caresses her face – Do you want me to make pancakes?  
\- I’d love to eat your pancakes, but – she makes a pause to kiss the palm of Minji’s hand – I can’t. I promised Yubin to be at the company today before noon and it’s already 10 am.  
\- But it’s Sunday – Minji whines as she lays her back on the matress – Why do you have to work on Sundays?  
\- Kim Minji, I’m releasing my first solo single soon! – she whines back and makes her girlfriend laugh lightly – I promise I’ll be back before dinner time.  
\- You better be, Kim Yoohyeon, or else I’ll punish you – a grin spreads across the other's face – not the way you like, idiot.  
\- Sad. Then I’ll make sure to be here on time – she pecks the purple-haired woman and gets up to shower.

* * *

Yoohyeon gets to the company just in time, hurriedly walking towards the elevator. Once she is in the right floor, she heads to the production booth where Yubin is probably waiting for her, but as she passes by Bora’s office, she notices that the lights are on. The woman stops on her tracks and hesitates before turning and opening the door, startling the people inside.

  
\- YOOHYEON, HAVEN’T YOUR PARENTS EVER TOLD YOU TO KNOCK BEFORE OPENING THE DOOR? – the director yells as she moves back from Siyeon, who is standing in the middle of the room and wincing at her loud voice.  
\- What are you two doing here? It’s Sunday.  
\- I could ask you the same damn question – Bora scowls.  
\- I’m meeting Yubin… - she looks at the singer, who didn’t even mutter a word – Why are you here with Bora?  
\- We were –  
\- Are you two a thing now? – she genuinely asks again without waiting for Siyeon to fully answer.  
\- What? No! – the redhead is losing her patience – We were monitoring the video she just released on internet and I was telling her about her shoulders position. She is a bit hunched in the video.

  
Yoohyeon hums as she nods, understanding the whole situation. But a smirk pulls at the corner of her lips as she says:

  
\- Well, if you two were a thing, I’d totally understand. I mean, Bora is hot and Siyeon has that thing that drawns you, so…  
\- STOP – the other two women scream in unison.  
\- Anyways… I better get going before Yubin kicks my ass for being late. Have fun you two! – she winks at them before heading out.

The singer seems flustered by the words her friend just threw in the air and avoids looking at her boss while pointing at her phone screen:

  
\- Shall we continue or…?  
\- I don’t think there’s any other thing I’d point out in the video… - Bora approaches Siyeon again, the latter being well aware of their closeness now – What’s the next cover you are going to release?  
\- Yubin suggested Overdose – she clears her throat - I’ve been doing lots of ballads and jazzy songs, so she said that I should try something more… pop-ish?  
\- I see… Now that we are here, why don’t we go through their performances and take ideas for your cover video?  
\- Are you sure? I don’t want you to waste your time on me.  
\- I like spending time with you.

  
The words that have slipped out of her mouth makes both of them blush and the director adds:

  
\- It’s not like I have any other plans either…  
\- Right – Siyeon mutters, a bit disappointed – Anyways, if you are up to it, I’m okay with working on that right now.  
\- Let’s go, then.

  
As they walk through the corridors of the company, the singer cannot help but run her eyes over the legs of the woman leading the way. She surely has seen the director in her shorts before, the ones she always wears when she is in the dance practice room that hugs perfectly every curve of her legs, but today Siyeon finds herself following all the edges in those toned thighs, ending in her round bottom. She can understand why the other woman is so confident in her own skin.

  
\- Siyeon? – Bora’s voice takes her out of her thoughts.  
\- Yeah?  
\- Were you staring? – she chuckles.  
\- I- … I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, I was-  
\- It’s okay, Siyeon. It’s not like I don’t like it, I actually find it pretty flattering – she tries to calm the woman, smiling knowingly as she opens the door to the room.

  
They spend a few hours working on how Siyeon should perform for the cover, the singer trying hard not to gaze away from Bora’s face. She still feels embarrassed that she got caught staring at her friend and boss, the whole thing making her feel awkward everytime Bora reaches for her or corrects her posture. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the latter one.

  
\- Okay – the director pauses the music - What’s wrong?  
\- What do you mean?  
\- You are like… overreacting? To my corrections. You are stiffer than other days.  
\- I-… - she looks at the floor, ashamed of her own behavior- … I hate Yoohyeon – she huffs defeated.

The director bursts into laughter at the lack of logic from her answer, and Siyeon tries to explain herself:

  
\- I swear I was okay with you until she dropped that bomb and left your office. Now I’m super aware of our closeness and… - one of her hands shoots up to her face, hiding her embarrassment – And I’m trying not to be awkward, but I’m failing. Hard.  
\- Well, Ms. Siyeon, we have been practicing together for a long time and I think we have bonded enough to feel comfortable around each other to not panic about us being physically close.  
\- True – she nods and steps closer to the wall, leaning her back on it and letting her body drop until she is sitting on the floor – I don’t want us to be weird, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me because I like girls… But I- oh God, you caught me staring at you and I feel like a total creep.

Bora shakes her head as she sits in front of the singer and grabs one of her hands.

  
\- I won’t ever feel awkward around you just because you like girls, that would be stupid – she gives a little squeeze to the hand – It’s funny how I’ve already had this conversation in the past with Minji.  
Siyeon chooses to listen to the director, but she doesn’t look up at her, her eyes fixed on their entwined hands.  
\- She was so terrified of telling me that she liked girls. When we were trainees, one day she started being awkward around me and, after a couple of days, I confronted her because I couldn’t understand what was happening between us. I thought I messed up at some point and I hadn’t realized. So, when she told me that, I was both happy and upset.  
\- Why?  
\- Happy because she trusted me enough to tell me. Upset because I didn’t want her to treat me differently just because she realized that she likes women – the redhaired woman tilts Siyeon’s head with her free hand to make her to look at her– I don’t care if you like men, women or both as long as you are good hearted. Whoever you date, it’s your choice and your life.

  
Siyeon is looking fondly at Bora, as her thumb runs over the director’s hand. She is one of the fewest people who know about her sexuality and getting this kind of reaction from her is heartwarming. Who would have thought that the woman that basically made her cry at their first encounter, ended up being one of the warmest persons she has ever met? Yoohyeon warned her that Bora is intense, but she never thought that “intense” also includes being a great human and a dedicated boss.

  
\- Plus – Bora smirks- It’s been a while since someone looked at me like that. Sometimes, a woman likes to feel sexy.  
\- Shut up! – yells Siyeon, trying hard not to blush but failing, and the director just laughs at her – Anyways… - the singer huffs - How have you been? It’s been more than a week since you broke up with Jae and I didn’t ask you how you are feeling that day…

The woman seems to be looking for the right words to describe her confusing feelings about the whole situation and stares at their still entwined hands, feeling the soft caresses Siyeon is giving her.

  
\- I feel… weird. It’s definitely the right decision to take, but when I think about the relationship we shared, I wonder if I’m too hard to handle. – she holds the singer’s hand tighter to get rid of some stress - Since I can’t dance, I’ve been grumpier and more frustrated than I’d ever been and that’s an issue I’m working on these days. But even if I’m getting better and overcoming it, I still don’t feel like the carefree and passionate person I used to be… This new “me” is something I don’t like; I don’t like myself right now. So, that makes me think that, maybe, it’s going to be hard for me to find someone that likes me if I can’t even like myself.  
\- I’d date you – Siyeon states, meeting her eyes  
\- Sure – Bora scoffs and that makes the singer to furrow her eyebrows – You just said that to make me feel better…  
\- Bullshit. If I were a man, I would definitely date you – she repeats, not looking away – You are gorgeous, kind, smart, capable of anything, funny, … Why wouldn’t anyone not date you?

  
Bora just stares at her, stunned by the honesty Siyeon just showed, and despite the uneasiness on the pit of her stomach that she feels while getting into these tricky subjects, the singer continues:

  
\- People tend to change. That’s the whole point of being alive. You can either change to be a better or a worse person. However, sometimes you can’t control those changes. They happen because unfortunately you experience some shitty stuff you shouldn’t have – her jaw tightens as she tries to put her thoughts into words, holding her gaze at Bora – You changed because something happened and that’s fine, it’s a normal thing. You just need to figure yourself out again and love that new side of you, instead of fighting it always. It’s the only way to overcome the past: accepting it and learning from it. When you get to know your new self and accept it, then you will be able to be in a fullfilling relationship.

  
At this point, the black-haired woman is pinching the director’s hand she was holding before and Bora seems to be in trance, digesting Siyeon’s speech. She can’t believe that this person she met less than a year ago can read her this easy. The truth is, Bora has found herself willing to spend most of her free time with the singer because she feels at ease and free when they are together. She can talk about anything with her without being judged, Siyeon will listen to her rambling and understand her. She can literally exist next to her, without feeling pressured about work or past issues. It’s like finding an oasis in the middle of her messed up life, a paradise where she can have a break.

  
She’s pulled out of her mind when she feels that the pinches have stopped and the singer is just pulling her to awkwardly embrace her with her arms and her hands drawing soft circles on the redhead back.

  
\- I’m sorry if I overstepped, I just… I hate seeing you mistreating yourself like this.

  
Bora sighs and relaxes into the hug, trying to get as closer as she can and putting her face on the spot she usually takes in Siyeon’s neck. Even if the singer is sweaty, she closes her eyes and enjoys the hug and the soft strokes on her back.

  
\- Thank you for being nice to me – she mutters on her neck – Thank you for caring. Thank you for listening to me.

  
The other woman stiffens for a moment when she feels tears dropping on the curve of her neck, but she quickly pulls the other woman on her lap, making her to surround her waist with her legs and tightening her hug, a hand keeping Bora’s head on her neck as she feels her sobbing. Even if it seems weird for them to be in this position, it feels right at the same time. It’s the first time Siyeon has seen the other woman breaking down like this and it came natural for her to fully hug her. She wants to ask her about what happened to her leg and why she changed but decides to leave it for another time when the director cries can be heard in the whole room.

  
\- It’s okay, Bora – she whispers in her hair - Everything will be fine soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took this long to update, life has been crazy these days. I was on vacay with part of my family when I got a call from my mom telling me she was in the hospital. So, when I landed, I ran to the hospital and I've been there this entire time ^^' She's better now, thank goodness
> 
> BUT! It's nice that I updated with this long chapter, isn't it? :D  
> Thank you for reading and thank you for your lovely comments! I really enjoy reading and answering them <3


	14. Can't get you out of my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay stuff happens

The elevator closes its doors when Minji presses the button that will take her and Bora to the company. They both have an important meeting early today and the CEO feels her heart is going to leap out of her chest. It's been three months since Yoohyeon started working on her first solo single and made her girlfriend promise that she wouldn't try to hear a single recording until she presents it in front of the company management. And the day has come, finally she is going to be able what kind of music Yoohyeon has been cooking with Yubin.

  
\- It’s going to be great, dummy – the director says to soothe her friend – Yoohyeon has a great voice and Yubin’s productions are on point. It’s going to top charts, I’m sure.  
\- I know, but I don’t want her to get negative feedback, you know how it affects her… I want her promotions to be perfect – she huffs – Yooh deserves that.  
\- Then let’s work hard for her. That’s our part of the job, Minji – Bora pats her back as the elevator reaches the right floor.

The two walk to the meeting room where the other two women are waiting for them, not bothering to stop at their respective offices first. The purple-haired one is the first to enter the room without even calling first, her desire to start the meeting directing her steps and actions, and Bora follows her, shaking her head at her friend's lack of control.

  
\- Hi, are we late? – Minji greets as she drops her stuff on one chair and takes a seat next to Yubin.  
\- You are in time, don’t worry – Yoohyeon smiles, knowing how her girlfriend has been nervous for the last two days because of her solo.  
\- She literally ran here. She has no chill, Christ – the redhead complains, reflecting the CEO’s actions and taking the seat next to Minji.  
\- Well – the producer clears her voice – Shall we start the meeting? – she gets a nod from the taller woman – So… we are not going to release the single right away.

  
The other two women stare at the producer, not understanding what she just said. The meeting was supposed to be to approve the single, but it seems that both Yoohyeon and Yubin have changed their minds.

  
\- What do you mean? – Minji asks lowly.  
\- We thought that maybe we can hype our fans, Insomnia, first with a pre-release – her girlfriend explains – Also, that can attract new listeners and make them have some expectations for the actual release.  
\- But you can build that expectation with a good promo, Yooh – Bora intervenes.  
\- What a better promo than a self-written song from the artist as a pre-release? – Yubin shrugs.  
\- I know, but that pre-release also has its expenses: more photoshoots, more promo for that “promo”, more teasers, showcases … - the director argues – We have to look for our other artists too, we can’t expend all our money just in Yoohyeon’s activities.  
\- It’s not like is going to be a huge difference when it comes to money, right? We have everything ready, Yoohyeon can record her MVs and teasers on the same week for both pre-release and full release. Plus, a pre-release doesn’t have a showcase.

  
Minji, who had been quiet all this time, leans on the back of her chair as she tries to think about the possible impact of the plan the two friends have. It is clear that Bora is not very convinced and the CEO understands her reasons perfectly: the company doesn’t have so much economic power and she doesn’t know if they can afford to invest a lot in a release that they do not know what reaction it will get from the public. On the other hand, she trusts her former members and, if they say it’s the best way, it probably is.

  
\- Before taking a decision, I think it’s best to hear that pre-release and the release – the CEO interrupts the argument between Yubin and Bora – That way, Bora and I can make a plan based on your suggestion.

  
The tall woman freezes at that moment and looks at the producer with shaky eyes.

  
\- They can be heard just by Bora – the auburn one states.  
\- What? Why? – The CEO looks between the two friends, her eyebrows furrowed.  
\- Please, babe? – Yoohyeon pleads, reaching across the table for her hand.

  
Although her jaw is clenched, her body slumps accepting her defeat, and she moves her hand to interlock her fingers with her girlfriend. She hates that this whole project was done in secret because there is no bigger fan of Yoohyeon than her, but she understands that the woman wants to do things her way and she knows that she must respect her decision. After all, she really only needs the go-ahead from the director, not from a CEO.

  
\- Shall I leave the room then? – Yubin nods at her, answering her question.  
\- Can you wait for me in your office? I'll be there in less than 30 minutes, I know you have a packed agenda today... – Yoohyeon gives a light squeeze to her hand and gets a smile in response.  
\- Sure, I’ll be there.

  
Once Minji leaves the room, the producer takes her laptop out of her backpack and prepares everything. The director's leg twitches nervously and the taller woman looks at Yubin expectantly. The latter looks one last time at the other two and hits play, music filling the entire room. Bora listens intently, closing her eyes and analyzing each syllable and note, feeling the heavy responsibility on her shoulders. She is the only one who is going to listen to the whole single apparently and Minji is going to trust her to give the approval. It's not that she doesn't want to invest everything in her former member, in fact she would if the idea is a good one. It's just that, as a director, she has to be realistic and make logical decisions. Bora has to make sure that what she is listening to is going to bring as many benefits as expenses.

  
At the end of the listening, she understands why Yoohyeon didn't want her girlfriend to be in the room. A sigh that was held in her chest escapes her lips when she tries to articulate a word and break the tense silence between the three of them.

  
\- So… - Yubin starts – What do you think?  
\- I-… - Bora seems to be struggling to find her words – When did you write these?  
\- When we were in Dreamcatcher… - she mumbles.  
\- And you kept them to yourself all this time?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Why?  
\- Well… I didn’t want to drag more problems into our group, with all those rumors going around and Minji struggling with all the responsibility she was holding back then… It would have been selfish to release them then.

  
The redhead huffs, leaning back in her chair and runs a hand through her hair.

  
\- It’s a big step to release it now too, you know that, right? – she eyes the gray-haired one.  
\- I know. But, lately, I’ve been… thinking. I don’t want to hold these songs forever; I want people know how I feel and what’s on my mind. I want to be able to sing these songs in front of her and see her face while she is listening – she balls her fists on the table and stares down at them – I want to be able to say out loud what she means to me.

  
They become quiet at the statement and suddenly, Bora is smiling mischievously.

  
\- What if… - the other two look at her, curiously – What if we throw a party tonight? For the pre-release?  
\- Wait a minute, wait a minute, HOLD ON – Yoohyeon stands as she voices loudly – ARE YOU APPROVING OUR PLAN?  
\- Why wouldn’t I? It’s a good song, it’s a good strategy and I’ve seen other companies doing it. Plus, you count with a big fan base from Dreamcatcher and you are not debuting, like Siyeon. You have already been in the industry for years, so I don’t see any problem.  
\- But the expenses… - Yubin starts but doesn’t get through the whole sentence.  
\- I’m pretty sure that, if the first song is going to be the pre-release, Yoohyeon is going to have a successful comeback. We can even catch international fans eyes. Also, since when is our company’s policy to not let our artist to have freedom to decide on their careers? If Yooh wants to do a pre-release and a release, let’s go with that. My job is to make sure that the music is good enough to be put out there and that everything goes well, so –

The director doesn’t finish as Yoohyeon has got up from her place and is heading towards her, her face red and her brows furrowed. Bora stands up, not knowing what to expect, but the other woman just catches her in a tight hug.

  
\- Thank you – she sniffles – I swear I won’t make fun of your height ever again…  
\- Thank you too, I guess… - the director rolls her eyes at her while hugging her back.  
\- So… - the producer calls – What party are you talking about?  
\- I was thinking about throwing a little party at the dance practice room – she lets Yoohyeon go, but they stand next to each other, the latter one holding her hand – We can invite some friends and play some music, drink and we can play the pre-release for Minji to listen to it. Since the song is in the EDM spectrum, it will go well with the party and you can dance with your girl while it’s playing on the background - she nudges the taller one – Since when do you guys not dance in a proper dancer floor?  
\- I think we have never danced together… - she whispers loud enough for the other two to hear her.  
\- Then, it’s settled. Let’s organize everything and start getting ready for the pre-release today until the party, so tomorrow we can come to the company a bit late and hungover.

  
The three women end up planning the rest of their day and head off to start working on the pre-release. However, Bora is stopped by Yubin, who nods her to walk together towards the director’s office. Once there, Bora closes the door and turns to her:

  
\- What’s up?  
\- How is your leg doing?  
\- My leg?  
\- You were super excited about the party and you don’t limp as much as before… I was wondering if you went to the doctor or… - the producer trails off  
\- Ah… I-… I guess it’s because I’ve been practicing a lot with Siyeon since we became closer. We spend a lot of time training.  
\- Does it still hurt?  
\- Yeah. I can’t dance the whole time, neither do hard dance moves… So, whenever I’m getting tired, I will boss Siyeon around – the redhead chuckles – But yeah… I guess exercising it’s getting my leg better.

  
Yubin nods and gives Bora a thumbs up.

  
\- I’m happy for you, then – she smiles – Saw you both the other day at the dance practice room…  
\- Oh.

  
Both stare at each other: the producer smirking knowingly and the director scrunching her nose.

  
\- I don’t care if you like each other in a non-friendly way or not, that’s your business… I’m just happy that you both got over your differences and you help each other now. Siyeon looks happier and more comfortable around the company, and you look… brighter. More like your old self – she shrugs– I-… I’m happy to see you genuinely smiling out of the blue.  
\- Me too – Bora confesses – I’m happy to feel more like myself… or at least, feel more comfortable with my new “reality” – she points at her leg – Siyeon… She is a good listener and she gets me, I don’t know why… It’s like she can read me. I like that.  
\- Tell her to come to the party.  
\- She is not scheduled to come here today, it’s her free day.  
\- Text her.  
\- I don’t have her number.

  
With a loud sigh, Yubin pulls her phone out, taps on the screen a few times and hands it to Bora.

  
\- Her number. Text her. Tell her to dress up nice and bring her sister if she wants to.  
\- She is not my girlfriend, tell her yourself – she says with the other woman’s phone in hand.  
\- Just text her! I’m sure she will be far more excited to get the text from you.

  
Pretending to look annoyed, the director picks up her phone and saves the singer's contact. Yubin, satisfied, picks up her phone and walks to the door to head off to the production booth and leaves the redhead alone. Bora stares at her phone screen for a few minutes, ignoring the fact that Yubin has left without saying anything, and types a message several times in Siyeon's chat, but they all seem too cheesy for her. So, she turns off the phone screen. Why is she giving so much importance to such a silly thing? She just has to tell the black-haired woman that they are going to have a party at the company, nothing else. Bora breathes in and expires a couple of times before turning the screen back on, typing a message into Siyeon's chat, and then leaving her phone on her table. That's it, it's done.

  
Time passes by quickly. They managed to get everything ready for tomorrow and to set up the party with Handong’s help. Minji has been out of the company most part of the day, which gave them some space to prepare the surprise for her. Bora is leaving the company’s changing rooms when she runs into the singer, who has just arrived.

  
\- Oh, Siyeon, you came – the director greets her as she gets closer.

  
Siyeon wears high-waisted blue skinny jeans and a black tank top, her neck decorated with a black velvet choker as well. Her makeup enhances her full lips and sharp features. On the other hand, the redhaired one wears a black dress, which reaches above the knees and hugs the shape of her hips well, and some black boots that reach her ankles, her makeup consisting only of a little mascara, eyeliner and red lipstick.

  
\- I did. I was surprised to get your text…  
\- Yubin gave me your number, I hope you don’t mind.  
\- Not at all! Thank you for inviting me – she smiles, offering her arm to the other woman – You look great, by the way.  
\- Thanks, you too – Bora chuckles as she latches her arm with the singer and walk to the party – Where’s your sister?  
\- Since it’s Wednesday, she couldn’t come. She promised to come next time.  
\- I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’ll miss her tonight. Last time she was drunk at the bar I had so much fun…  
\- Yeah – Siyeon laughs.

  
When they arrive in the room, the singer can appreciate the decoration there and the colored lights that illuminate a space in the center of the place, which she assumes will be the dance floor. On the sides there are drinks, food and some chairs, and in one corner is Yubin, who controls the music, apparently.

  
\- Did you all do this in a day? With all your busy schedule? – she asks in awe.  
\- Yeah. We really wanted to celebrate Yooh’s first release, so… - Bora says – Get your drink, Minji is going to be here soon and we will start partying!

  
It doesn't take long until the CEO walks through the door and the music starts playing. Everyone seems to be having fun: singing some of the songs, dancing, laughing… Siyeon, who had stayed close to the producer at first, is now in the center of the dance floor fooling drunkly around together with Jin. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bora dancing along with another staff member, a lock of reddish hair covering part of her face. As if they were connected, the director exchanges glances with her and smiles at her, turning towards her. The singer, hypnotized, approaches her, grabbing her waist and Bora automatically puts her hand on her shoulder. The two begin to dance together, like it’s something natural for them, letting themselves be carried away by the predominant bass in the song. The director turns around, pressing her back on the singer’s front and swaying her body with the rhythm. She can feel Siyeon’s breathing next to her ear and her body moving along with her, the singer’s hands caressing her waist and hips. Bora, feeling the heat, grabs the nape of her neck, pulling Siyeon impossibly closer and the black-haired woman’s lips ghosts her neck as her fingers dig in her hips. Bora turns her face, her lips inches away from the other woman’s, breathing in the same space. She was about to lean in further, but the music dies down, getting both women out of their haze as they pull away, but never looking away from each other.

  
\- Bora, we-  
\- Today Yoohyeon’s first release as a solo artist was approved by our company! – Yubin announces, interrupting the singer– I’m very proud to have worked by her side, since I have seen a very raw side of her life through her music.

  
The director grabs Siyeon’s hand and pulls her closer, whispering in her ear:

  
\- Don’t overthink it, Siyeon.  
\- Anyways, to celebrate it, we have decided to throw a small party with trusted people, so we can enjoy ourselves freely. – the producer keeps doing her speech.

  
The black-haired woman turns to look at Bora again:

  
\- Were you about to kiss me?  
\- Yooh, I hope to keep working with you in the future – Yubin finishes - Without further ado, here is the pre-release song, written and composed by Yooh, produced by me!

  
The redhead licks her lips, her eyes twitching between Siyeon’s gaze and her lips:

  
\- Probably, yes.  
\- Would you still do it? – the other woman asks.  
\- Yes.

  
Yoohyeon, who is far before them, listening to Yubin, has an arm around Minji's waist and turns to face the CEO, fixing her gaze on her eyes as the music starts playing.

  
\- I wrote this one before we kissed for the first time…

  
The CEO's face, which had worn a smile all night, suddenly becomes more tender as the song progresses.

  
\- How did you name it? – she asks while leaning into her lips.  
\- Can’t get you out of my mind – the gray-haired one answers before crashing her lips with her girlfriend.

  
As the small crowd celebrate the kiss between the two girlfriends, at the back of the room Siyeon is pulling Bora in, slowly tilting her head, their lips tasting each other for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexa, play Mamamoo - Finally
> 
> I fed the gays today.
> 
> PS: I hope the last part it's not confusing. In my head was very beautiful, but idk if i got it right in words


	15. Words don't come easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora gay panicking? Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOLLODRAMA

As Gahyeon stumbles with something in the kitchen, the singer wakes up, weirdly stretching her body due to the small space she is in.

  
\- Sorry – the young sister whispers – Did I wake you up?

  
Siyeon only manages to moan in response, frowning and squeezing her eyes shut. She feels the warmth of having slept in her jeans and how her exposed skin sticks to the couch. She doesn't know how she got home and doesn't even bother to wonder why she's still dressed. However, the hangover-haze and laziness quickly go away when she remembers that she must go to work today.

  
\- What time is it? – she sits up quickly.  
\- 9 am – Gahyeon answers, a bit startled by the sudden urge in her sister’s voice.  
\- Fuck – she slumps down on the couch again – Thank goodness they gave me permission to get to the company later than usual…

  
The younger one chuckles at Siyeon’s state as she taps her legs, so she can make room for her to sit on the couch too.

  
\- How was the party? You got here pretty late… - she eyes her sister, who tries to sit up again, this time properly.  
\- It was… fine? – she mutters, a bit blushed.  
\- What’s wrong? Did you get too drunk that you can’t remember what happened? – a light laugh fills the quiet room and a worried Siyeon looks at Gahyeon.  
\- I might have… I might have done something bad.  
\- Explain? – her sister asks reflecting her worry, her laugh disappearing.  
\- I- … - she touches her lips unconsciously and gasps as she feels a sting on her lower lip, gaining the younger woman’s attention.  
\- What’s wrong? – she gets closer to look at her sister’s features – Oh my… who did that to you?  
\- Bora…  
\- WHAT?

  
The feeling of worry drowns her. Siyeon remembers perfectly how the director bit her lip and tugged at it while she held her on top of the sink, Bora's legs circling her waist. She remembers how the redhead's nails scratched her neck and back, while her hands explored the woman's curves in detail. How iss she going to look her own boss in the face after making out with her all night? What if someone has seen them? Not that they are exactly in a serious relationship like Minji and Yoohyeon: last night was pure unresolved tension, empowered by alcohol.

  
\- I-…we… we made out. Like… a lot - she gulps.  
\- YOU DID WHAT – she screams, her sister cringing at her loudness.  
\- Jesus, lower your voice, Gah, you are going to kill me.  
\- How did you both make out? Like, how did it happen?  
\- We were dancing and… it just happened.  
\- But I thought she liked men?

  
The older sister nods thoughtfully. It’s not the first time that she is in this situation, where someone meets her, identifying as heterosexual, but after a while they end up identifying as bisexual or something else. According to Siyeon, it's a natural thing. Although she labels herself, she does it so that she doesn’t have to explain her life choices or to be able to communicate with the rest of the world, but she doesn't really believe that she can fit into either extremes. In fact, she doesn't think anyone can fit those definitions. Humans are too complex to put in a box.

  
\- Bora is very open minded… I don’t know how she identifies, though… - she huffs – Anyways, I’m screwed.  
\- Why? I mean, you didn’t do anything wrong… - Gahyeon genuinely states.  
\- I know… But what if someone saw us? What if she regrets it and doesn’t want to work with me anymore? – she panickily rants – What if… What if Minji finds out and kicks me out because she doesn’t want to put in danger her company? She is always so careful to not get outted by mistake and ruin everything they have worked for, and last night I might have done that mistak-  
\- STOP, SIYEON, FOR FUCKS SAKE – her sister interrupts – Just talk to Bora. She will probably know what to do. She is the director; she was probably aware of what was on risk if you guys were caught… She is not dumb.

  
The singer takes a deep breath. Her sister is right, Bora is not stupid. She knows what she's doing, right? She would not risk the reputation and image of the company just for one night of madness and alcohol. Right?

  
At that very moment, said woman arrives at her office on the other side of the city. With every step she takes, she feels her head dancing inside her skull. Bora drops her things on the side of her office, without much regard, and flops onto the small sofa inside the room, her hand directly reaching her eyes as she rests her head on the backrest.

  
And she smiles.

  
Although she worries about having to see Siyeon after everything that happened, the feeling of freedom and adrenaline still runs through her body. She’s not sure what that magnetism was, the one she felt with the singer and that she may have been feeling for a while now, the one that may have been numbed by their working relationship and by the fact that she doesn't like women.

  
She likes it. That feeling. The feeling that runs through her spine everytime she remembers how Siyeon ran her hands over her thighs, how she felt against her body, how her voice sounded when she pulled a groan from her with her nails on her back. Last night she felt alive at last, after a long time.

  
She is pulled out of her mind when someone knocks at her door, the other person not waiting for her to say anything as they open the other and get in.

  
\- Of course, the one and only Kim Minji – she greets, pretending to be annoyed – Why are you here so early? Didn’t you stay awake the whole night being grateful to your girlfriend for her amazing present?  
\- Oh, are we going to talk about gay stuff? Because I have a couple of questions for you too, Ms. Kim Bora – she smirks, sitting next to her.  
\- Oh, no, we are SO not going to talk about your gay agend-  
\- From 0 to making out in the bathroom with Siyeon, how drunk were you last nig-  
\- None of your business – she snorts at her.  
\- Oh really? – the CEO scoffs – Because, as long as I know, it happened in my company and my best friend was involved, so…  
\- I swear, Minji… - she runs her hand through her hair- Yes, we made out. A lot.  
\- I know – she laughs – Everybody knows, Bora. You were making out in front of everybody. Thank goodness it was a small party with people we know we can trust, because… Oh my God, you should have seen Handong’s face when she saw you two being horny for each other.  
\- Shut up, weirdo!  
\- Did you two go home together?  
\- Of course not!  
\- Why not?  
\- First of all, because I don’t like women. Secondly, she is an employee.  
\- And why exactly didn’t you think about those two reasons last night? – the CEO becomes a bit more serious as she asks, her eyes still giving a friendly vibe, letting Bora know that she is asking as her friend and not as her superior.

  
The redhead breathes and look away from her friend, trying to gather her thoughts.

  
\- I don’t know, I was just having fun, nothing else. But I still like men.  
\- You can like men and women… There’s nothing wrong with having fun, of course, and there’s nothing wrong with not having a preference between men and women too. I just want to make sure you know you can talk to me if you need to. We are friends, even if I would have killed you if you got caught last night by some outsider…

  
Bora nods, still not looking back at her. She knows there’s nothing wrong with liking both genders, she is very open minded with that kind of stuff, but last night was her first time feeling that kind of attraction towards a woman. It’s a brand-new feeling she needs to sort out, definitely, but she doesn’t have the energy nor the will to do it right now.

  
\- I know I have you by my side, silly. I just… I don’t want to talk about it right now. And I don’t know how thing are going to be when Siyeon and I see each other after what happened – she huffs, her eyes drifting towards one of Minji’s hand and reaching for it, feeling the light squeeze the CEO gives her – I hope I didn’t scare her or make her to not trust me anymore…  
\- Why wouldn’t she trust you? You didn’t hurt her, you both were dancing, and no one forced anyone to do anything, right?  
\- Yeah… - she smirks before continuing – Although I DID hurt her…  
\- Huh?  
\- You know how I like to bite people…  
\- Oh, Bora, tell me that at least is not visible…  
\- Oh, it’s very visible, unfortunately. I hope she can cover it…  
\- Christ, I don’t know if I want to know where you bit her… - she sighs, smiling at the whole situation – Anyways, about Yoohyeon’s release… You approved the whole thing.  
\- I did.  
\- Can you at least tell me how is it? Like, is it good? Do you think it’s going to chart at least?  
The director can’t help the smile creeping up on her face at the sight of her worrying friend.  
\- Whether she charts or not, she needs to release it. It’s something she has to do, she’s been waiting for this moment her whole career and we have to support her, no matter what. If she gets low or high ranks, she said that doesn’t matter to her. I’m sure the only thing she cares about is you.  
\- Me?  
\- Yeah, you. She only cares about you.

  
Minji nods, not knowing what to say and they are both silent for a while until the CEO stands up.

  
\- I should get going. We have loads of work today… I’m going to check on Yubin too before meeting with some shareholders.  
\- Fighting, Minji! – she throws her fist to the air, too lazy to bother to get up form the couch.

  
Although at the beginning of the morning the redhead had no appetite due to the hangover she suffers, as the hours have passed, her stomach has been waking up from its small lethargy and now the woman is walking towards the break room, hoping to catch a snack to help her survive into the afternoon. When she walks into the empty living room, she goes straight to the fridge and picks up a pear that her friend probably bought a few days ago. Without much care, she takes a bite and, while savoring the fruit, she sits down on one of the sofas. Bora pulls her phone out of her pocket and scrolls through the social media accounts of the company for a while before getting into the chat app. Her finger wobbles on the screen when she sees that she has unread messages from yesterday in Siyeon's chat. She knows they are probably responses to the invitation she sent her yesterday, but still her leg jerks with a nervous tick. And, as if by magic, the singer appears through the door of the small room, stopping in her tracks when she meets the director's eyes.

  
\- … Hey – the black-haired woman mutters.  
\- Hey – she greets back.

  
There’s a silence before both women speak up:

  
\- We need to talk.  
\- We need to talk.

  
Bora lets out a light chuckle and nods at Siyeon, the latter closing the door behind her.

  
\- How are you? – the redhaired one asks, not wanting to make the other woman more nervous.  
\- I’m… I feel like trash today - she laughs – I feel like I need to sleep for a whole day…  
\- Yeah, I feel you… - the director takes a moment to think how she should conduct the conversation before speaking up again – Last night… We-  
\- I’m sorry if I overstepped – the singer jumps, not letting the other woman finish – I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable or if we should hav-  
\- Okay, you are rambling again, Siyeon. You should stop apologizing for everything. We both were part of it, so don’t you dare to think you made me uncomfortable – she scolds her.

  
The other woman just nods and decides to take a seat next to her.

  
\- I panicked…  
\- I noticed – Bora snorts – I’ve been panicking the whole morning, if that makes you feel better…  
\- It does – the singer smiles.  
\- Nice – she reflects her smile before continuing – I… I don’t know why that happened, but I don’t want us to make a big deal out of it. We had fun. It was … It was great, actually – she clears her voice, not wanting the confusing thoughts clouding her mind be noticed by the woman next to her - But… we are still friends, right? We can just forget about it and keep everything as it used to be.

Siyeon doesn't know why she suddenly feels like a fist is clenching her heart, choking her. Her eyes look at the profile of her boss, studying her in detail, and her mouth tries to articulate words that seem to be stuck in her throat. Why does she feel this way? That's what she wants, to let everything continue as usual, that Bora doesn't change her way of being with her because of a silly drunk make out session. Why does she feel like she has just been rejected by the person she is in love with, when she doesn’t even feel anything for her?

  
\- S-Sure. We should do that. You are my boss and my friend, it would be weird otherwise, right? – she stands up and walks towards the fridge, not looking back at Bora.  
\- Yeah… I guess. I mean, I’m not really into girls – she says, her voice a bit shaky – Last night we were drunk, and we wanted to have fun. And we did. That’s it.  
\- Yep. – Siyeon grabs some snacks and turns to face her boss, portraying a sad smile.  
\- Cool – the director mutters.  
\- So… Uh… See you around? – the singer tries to sound confident as she makes her way through the door.  
\- Sure, see you around – Bora waves, feeling empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this song is about s(e)x but I used it because literally words didn't come easy to these two


	16. Mi danza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens, unfortunately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mi danza = my dance in spanish
> 
> Mi danza is a song by a spanish group of fussion flamenco (?) called Fuel Fandango

“Everything as it used to be” her ass.

  
Two weeks have passed since her and Siyeon talked about what had happened. At first, they went back to their practice routine and everything seemed to be going well. Except for when Bora approached her to correct any posture. Or when Siyeon's eyes traveled from her gaze to her lips and back to her gaze. Or when perhaps the director kept her hand on the singer longer than usual. And little by little their sessions were getting shorter and shorter. Until they stopped doing them.

  
The redhead knows that their sessions weren’t mandatory, but many days she found herself being looking forward for them after all day doing paperwork. And now, even though she is left practicing alone after finishing her day, the fulfilling sensation isn't the same. Everything seems less exciting if the black-haired woman isn’t there, she feels less motivated and get more tired easily. But she doesn't understand why, it's not like she didn't practice alone before meeting her. It doesn't make sense that now she isn't motivated to do it that way again.

  
Today is not different. She is in the practice room, alone, Sleep-Walking playing in the background, but she can't concentrate. So, she decides to quit after almost two hours of dancing, a little afraid to force her already shaky leg.

  
\- I shouldn’t practice for this long without a break, I guess… - she huffs as she goes to gather her stuff and head out.

  
The company's floor is completely dark except for a small light that can be seen at the end of the main hall, which she deduces is coming from the music room or the offices. It's late now, so someone may have been working overtime. Without giving it more importance, she enters the small changing room and opens her locker where she has her bag, and prepares to take a quick shower and wipe the sweat that is stuck to her body. Bora hangs her towel near the shower and steps into it, turning on the tap, closing her eyes, and letting the hot water relax her body.

  
A loud bang can be heard bouncing off the walls of the empty floor. Siyeon, who is writing in her music notebook, freaks out at the noise and freezes for a few seconds before rising from her chair, hesitantly.

  
\- Hello?... – a bit of fear showing up in her voice.

  
She gets no response. She walks out of the room and peers down the hall, listening as the water falls into tiled floor in the locker room. The singer decides to go check if everything is okay and, before opening the door of that place, calls.

  
\- Is everything okay? – she voices louder, so she can be heard over the running shower.  
\- S-Siyeon? – the black-haired woman hears a painful voice inside of one of the shower stalls – Siyeon, please?  
\- Bora?

  
She gets in the locker room and heads towards where she guesses Bora is.

  
\- Are you… okay? – Siyeon asks before the shower curtain.  
\- I-I fell and I can’t stand up – the director hisses – Help me out, please…

  
The singer does not hesitate for a second to open the curtain and in front of her the other woman appears naked and on the floor. The first thing she does is turn off the shower and then she bends down to help Bora up, but when she gets closer she sees the condition of her boss's leg out of the corner of her eye. The knee seems to be bent in an unnatural way and is clearly swollen, but she tries not to panic or stare at it, opting to look the redhead in the eye so that she looks at her too.

  
\- Okey, put your hands around my neck.  
\- I can’t – Bora’s voice trembles – I can’t move, Siyeon.  
\- Yes, you can, just put your arms around my neck, I’ll get you up.  
\- I can’t – the woman starts to cry – My leg, I can’t move it.  
\- Just put your arms around my neck, Bora, c’mon – she insists, trying to swallow the lump that is forming in her throat when she hears the director crying in pain.

  
With shaky arms, Bora does as she is told and immediately the singer picks her up in her arms, pressing her against her body, fearing that she will fall off her arms. Slowly but steadily, she walks to one of the nearest benches and lays the director down on it.

  
\- I’m going to call an ambulance, okay? – she informs her as she covers Bora’s body with the hanging towel.  
\- No, don’t leave – the redhead pleads.  
\- Okay, okay – she grabs the other woman’s hand and gives it a light squeeze – Tell me where’s your phone, so I can make the call from here.  
\- In-in my bag - Siyeon fishes the phone out of the bag and makes the call.  
\- Okay, they will be here in 15 minutes – she crouches down to be at Bora’s eyes level, grabbing her hand again and drawing soothing circles with her thumb on her skin – Why are you here so late?  
\- I… - the redhead gulps, trying to focus on the conversation despite the pain that creeps up from her leg to the base of her skull – I was practicing.  
\- I see… What song were you practicing?

  
Bora chuckles painfully, realizing that Siyeon is trying to keep her mind busy while the ambulance gets to the company.

  
\- Sleep-Walking.  
\- Oh, I love that one. You made that choreo too, right?  
\- Y-Yeah, I did…  
\- You are a genius – the singer smiles sweetly at her and gets to pull a half smile on the other’s face.  
\- I know.

  
Siyeon continues the conversation until she receives another call on Bora's phone, the paramedic informing her that they are already at the door of the building. The director tells her how to open the door of the building from inside the company and the black-haired woman does it quickly to return to the other woman's side and dress her in something comfortable, carefully, to get out of there with their help. Once secured on the stretcher, the singer picks up her things and the other woman's, and rushes into the ambulance with her. Bora immediately looks for the woman's hand, the latter holding it tightly.

  
\- Everything will be fine, right? – the director asks, hope in her eyes as she looks at Siyeon.  
\- Yeah, everything will be fine – she assures her.

  
The ambulance arrives at the hospital in no time and Bora is taken to the emergency room, while the black-haired woman is left outside in the waiting room. She can't help but feel edgy, her leg jumping nervously at a frantic pace. The redhead's knee didn't look good when she saw her in the shower, and even though she told Bora that everything would be fine, she begins to doubt her own words. A small knot forms in her stomach at the possibility of seeing her unable to dance again or that the woman cannot even stand for long, panic totally taking control of her mind the more time she spends in that waiting room. So she decides to call the person who she feels can best help them in this situation and, as if she were a superheroine, the CEO appears behind the doors of the hospital no long after, accompanied by Yoohyeon.

  
\- What hapenned? – Minji asks, worry all over her voice and face.  
\- She fell in the shower. I called the ambulance and she’s been in there for almost half an hour.  
\- Is it her leg? Did her fall because of it? – the taller woman jumps in.  
\- I-I don’t know, I couldn’t ask, she was crying and shaking, I didn’t want her to panic more.  
\- Okay – the purple-haired one sits next to Siyeon and puts her hand on the other’s shoulder – You did well. Thank you for calling us.  
\- I told her everything will be fine, but her knee… - she looks at Yoohyeon, tears in her eyes – Her knee, Yooh, it looked really bad.

Her friend wastes no time and wraps her in a tight hug, the singer crumbling as her adrenaline gets lower. Yoohyeon looks at her girlfriend from her spot, who is shaking her head as her eyes are fixed on the emergency room’s door.

  
\- She will be fine; she has to be fine. It’s Bora who is in there, she is almost invincible – she whispers over Siyeon’s little sobs.

After an hour, a doctor comes out of said door and calls Kim Bora's companions, the three women immediately getting up from their seats.

  
\- Since she seems to have an older injure in that knee, her condition is worse than expected. She apparently fell when she lost her balance in the shower and, when she tried to avoid the fall, she bent her knee badly – the doctor explains – However, she doesn’t need a surgery, luckily. But she will have to rest for a couple of days and walk in crutches until the physical therapist gives her permission to walk without them.  
\- How long will she take to recover, doctor? – the CEO asks.  
\- Well… I don’t think she can fully recover from this, since she already had an injury that it wasn’t taken care of…

The three women nod and Minji lets out a sad sigh. Again her best friend has to start from 0. Well, this time she has to start from even lower. The CEO can't believe this is happening to the person who loves to dance the most of all the members. It's like fate is laughing at her.

  
\- She will be out in a minute – the doctor finishes.  
\- Okay – Yoohyeon manages to say as the other two remain speechless.

  
When they see the director, head down and in a wheelchair, coming out of the emergency room, the three of them go to meet her. Bora looks tired and her eyes are swollen and red, and Minji's heart drops to the bottom of her stomach.

  
\- Hey, sweetie – she manages to choke out when she approaches the wheelchair, but she gets no answer – Let’s get you home, okay?

  
Bora just nods, but as Yoohyeon pushes her towards the CEO’s car, she feels a hand ghosting hers, trying to reach for it. When she looks up to see who is the owner of said hand, she sees the singer looking at her with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. The redhead looks back at her hand and grabs it, feeling the warmth of the familiar thumb that draws gentle circles on her skin again.

  
Not much later that night, the four women make their way into Bora's apartment. As the two girlfriends go about their business as if they were in their own home, the singer sits uncomfortably still in the living room. She can hear Yoohyeon fixing something in the kitchen and, on the other side of the house, Minji and Bora are in the bedroom talking. Siyeon begins to wander around the room, looking at the few pictures and books that are scattered around the space. There is a frame, much larger than the others, that encloses a picture of one of Dreamcatcher’s concerts, the singer assuming that it’s one of the first ones due to the appearance of the members and the size of the stage, and a small smile appears in her face.

  
\- Hey – Siyeon turns to face Minji, who is calling her – Can you go and check on Bora? I’m going to see if Yooh needs help in the kitchen.  
\- Sure.

  
She walks to where the woman is supposed to be and carefully peers into the room through the door.

  
\- Hi.

  
The director, who is lying on her bed, takes her gaze from the ceiling to the door and smiles weakly, signaling Siyeon to enter.

  
\- How are you feeling? – the singer keeps talking as she sits on the edge of her bed.  
\- I’m alive.  
\- That’s good enough.  
\- I guess so.

  
As if it were something natural, their hands intertwine again. It’s something that they both find comforting and that, in moments like this, they do it unconsciously.

  
\- The doctor told me that I must do some therapy in order to walk without the crutches.  
\- I know…  
\- It sucks.  
\- Totally.

  
A loud sigh escapes the redhead’s lips.

  
\- Hey – Siyeon squeezes her hand – I’ll help you. We can do therapy together. I’ll go with you.  
\- You already did a lot, helping me out of the shower and making me feel less worried while we were waiting for the ambulance, you don’t have t-  
\- I want to – she interrupts – We’ve been missing way too many practice sessions and I kind of miss spending time with you.

  
Bora’s jaw tightens as she hears that, and she can’t help the guilt creeping up her spine. She feels that she is the one who took the woman away from her side since they talked, although it seems that they agreed on everything at that time.

  
\- I’m sorry – she blurts out.  
\- What? What are you talking about? – the singer asks, a bit surprised by the sudden apology.  
\- I’m sorry for being a mess around you, Siyeon. You always have to deal with my troubled ass.  
\- It’s no one's fault that you fell in the shower… ? – the black-haired woman is confused.  
\- I know.

  
Before Siyeon can ask further, Minji gets in the room.

  
\- Hey, are you hungry? We cooked some soup for you – she looks at the singer – and for you too, of course.

  
The latter looks at their intertwined hands and huffs.

  
\- I think I’m going home. It’s pretty late and Gahyeon must be worried. But – she looks up at Minji – if you need anything else…  
\- No, we are fine – she smiles – Yoohyeon can drive you home, I’ll stay here tonight.  
\- Minji, go home, I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to be tired tomorrow, you have meetings and Yoohyeon’s prom-  
\- Bora, don’t. – the CEO scolds her and the director shuts her mouth – I’ll cuddle you tonight. Those meetings are problems for my future me.

Siyeon can’t help the chuckle that comes through her throat at the silliness displayed by the purple-haired one. She turns to face the redhead and smiles:

  
\- You have my phone number, so please, text me, okay? – Bora nods and Minji, sensing the weird atmosphere between them, leaves towards the kitchen – If you don’t, I’ll spam your chat with emojis until you do.  
\- I will – she lets her hand go and smacks her, tired smile on her lips – Now go before Gahyeon starts missing you too much.

The singer nods, but she bends awkwardly to hug the smaller woman carefully, not pressing her whole weight on her. At first, Bora freezes, but soon returns the hug, breathing in the scent of Siyeon's hair. After a few minutes burning the stress of that night with their hug, they both pull away.

  
\- See you soon? – the director asks.  
\- Of course. See you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song's lyrics go:  
> Quiero volver a ver  
> Mi piel bailando en el río  
> Déjame vivir sencilla  
> O vete por donde has venido
> 
> Which means:  
> I want to see again  
> My skin dancing in the river  
> Let me live simply  
> Or go back to where you come from
> 
> I was listening to this song when I was writing the beginning of the chapter and, even though I wanted to write this twist, I didn't want Bora to be 100% hopeless like she used to be. That's why she keeps looking for assurance in Siyeon's words: Everything will be fine.
> 
> \---------
> 
> Sometimes you don't know how much you'll miss someone until they leave your side. Luckily, you might still meet again. (Just letting some random thoughts here)


	17. Over the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minji finally gets some answers and Bora faces herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading Over the Sky meaning the other day and gave me this sense of friendship and love... Idk, I listened to it while writing this chapter lmao

\- So…

  
Bora looks up from the papers in her hands and gazes at Minji, who is joining her on her chaise longue. They spent the night as her friend stated: the purple-haired one cuddling her. And because the effect of the painkillers wearing off during the night and Minji sometimes squeezing her too much, she hasn't been able to get much rest. That’s why she is grateful that her friend, when she woke up, helped her get to her living room and offered her a large cup of coffee, before she started going over the work she was planning to do last night at home.

  
\- So…?  
\- Now that we have time – the CEO begins as she takes the papers from the redhead hands and places them on the small table in front of them – and you can’t run away, telling me that you have to work… How are you? Besides your leg being… you know… injured.

  
The director knew that the fact that Minji stayed at her house would imply, at some point, having this conversation. The two friends used to have their private time, where they shared their thoughts and secrets, but since they got colder with each other due to the disband, they haven’t been able to speak calmly, they’ve only shared certain words between meetings or in the elevator. Somehow, she misses these moments when it's just the two of them. But on the other hand, she feels a bit anxious having to open up after not doing it so for so long. However, she decides to try and answer honestly, because she knows that her friend has been missing their old times and she genuinely cares about their friendship.

  
\- Well, I’ve been better, definitely. Since the first time my leg got injured and, you know, all this lifestyle we have with its never-ending meetings and so on… I feel misplaced. And confused - Minji nods, ruminating all the words - And I feel a bit angry at you.  
\- I’ve noticed. All of these. – the purple-haired woman huffs – I thought that you’d be happy being involved in the music industry, but this “involvement” is certainly not what I expected it to be. At least we get to meet and train some artists, but still it has nothing to do with our prior activities as idols – she makes a pause – And about us… I understand why you are angr-  
\- You don’t – Bora snaps.  
\- Yes, I do. I basically ruined everything we had because I couldn’t handle being aw-  
\- Oh, for fuck’s sake, Minji, shut up.

  
The former leader faces away from her friend, hiding some of the tears that are threatening to fall. Suddenly, she feels how the redhead shifts on her spot and her head is now resting on her shoulder. Minji, surprised, relaxes and puts her head on top of hers.

  
\- Minji… I’m very VERY happy that you are now able to be with the person you love. You deserve it, you both deserve it. You went through hell because some dumbasses couldn’t open their fucking minds and now you are free enough to share an apartment and be together – she explains balling her fists on her lap – I’m angry at you because you actually think I’d be upset about you doing what makes you happy. I know it took us to disband for you to be together, but I don’t think that made the members sad or angry about it. Certainly, it didn’t make me angry. I love you, silly, and I’d resign and disband again if that makes you happier.  
\- I don’t want you to resign, where would I find a tiny and noisy director like you? – the CEO sniffs and gets her shoulder smacked by the other woman.  
\- I MIGHT BE TINY, BUT I CAN KICK SOME ASSES TOO.

  
They both fall into a comfortable laughter and the purple-haired woman wipes her cheeks.

  
\- Then, why were the other members so upset back then? Was it because you got injured while dancing? – she asks genuinely.

  
Bora takes her time working out her answer, wondering if it's a good idea to explain to Minji what happened between the members or if she should leave it until the five of them are reunited. When the incident happened with her leg, she, Yubin, and Handong lied to the leader, saying that Bora had fallen practicing a risky dance step for a cover. But it wasn't anywhere near the truth. Therefore, when their friend spoke to them about the possibility of disbanding, they considered it the best solution, due to the circumstances surrounding their incident and the possible outcomes of the couple being discovered in public by accident. Either they would disband, or the careers of some members would be tainted, in the best-case scenario.  
\- I don’t think any of them are angry at any of us. I think they are angry at the industry and people’s mentality.

  
\- What do you mean? – the CEO sits up properly, making the redhead look back at her – If you’re uncomfortable with it, why would you accept my offer?  
\- Because we love working with each other. Didn’t you see how happy Yubin was at the pre-release party? We basically have been together for YEARS, Minji. And we have bonded a lot with each other, because we stuck together through hard times and good times. That’s why we said yes. We are a family.

The CEO is silent, her mouth half open, as if her voice had escaped and was not coming back. It’s as if her reality has been broken but giving rise to another much more luminous and colorful. Her heart fills with warmth at the word “family”, something Minji thought she had lost when she let Dreamcatcher go. Bora gets her out of her mind when she pulls her in for an awkward hug, trying not to move her injured leg.

  
\- I’ll explain it when we are all together, but stop blaming yourself for everything, idiot – the director says, tears running down her face and wetting her friend’s t-shirt, and Minji just nods.

The morning is spent doing paperwork from home, calls and rescheduling appointments that Bora had to attend tomorrow.

  
\- So… - Minji speaks up and the director huffs at how her friend always starts their conversations the same way.  
\- So?  
\- Did you get to talk to Siyeon?  
\- … Yes.  
\- And?  
\- We decided to leave it behind and keep on being friends as we always have been.

The CEO gasps as she smacks her arm:

  
\- WHY? I thought you were into her.  
\- I AM NOT? I like men, Minji – she smacks her back.  
\- Why are you being so stubborn about it? It’s not like you are not open-minded and you actually enjoyed it… Damn, you even bit her lip HARD. – the purple-haired one uses her hands to emphasize her words - Poor Siyeon, she was wearing her mask all day in the company…  
\- I wasn’t thinking straight.  
\- Yeah, I can see that- DON’T PUNCH ME.

  
The redhead woman sighs and slumps back in the large couch, defeated.

  
\- I don’t know… We agreed on being back to normal, as if it didn’t happen, but it only lasted less than two weeks, and now we don’t even practice together. Last night was the first time I saw her after a couple of days.  
\- I see… - her friend hums – So, neither of you are feeling “normal”, right?  
\- Seems like that.  
\- Maybe try to talk again? Tell her what you really think about the whole situation and how you’ve been feeling since then.

  
Bora looks at her friend with confused and worried eyes. This new part of her that she didn't know existed is another headache in her already chaotic life and the fact that it involves someone else makes it even more difficult. However, it’s true that the fact that Siyeon being clear about that aspect of her life makes things less complicated, so the director only has to deal with herself.

  
\- Hey – Minji pats her back – Just let it flow. When I fell for a girl, the first time, I really struggled for NOTHING. I was so worried about it because we’re taught to love someone of the opposite gender, but, in the end, you can’t really fight against it, it’s within you.  
\- I’ve never felt attracted to any girl, though. It’s just… It’s Siyeon, she is different.

  
The CEO chuckles, earning a confused look from her friend:

  
\- Liking people from your gender doesn’t mean you have to like them all, you idiot. You don’t like all walking men on Earth, right?  
\- Right.  
\- Take it easy then – she says, right before they get interrupted by the doorbell – Oh, that has to be our lunch date!  
\- Lunch what? – Bora asks as she watches Minji walking towards the front door.

  
The CEO greets someone at the door, and the redhead can hear the voice of the Chinese model in the distance. Then, she hears footsteps and the two women appear in the living room, Handong holding two bags in her hands.

  
\- How are you, Sua? – she greets – How is your leg? Yoohyeon told me what happened last night…  
\- Yeah… It doesn’t hurt as much as last night, but still…  
\- Well – the model places the bags on the small table in front of the couch – If you need anything, call me. I know I might not be able to replace you as a director while you are stuck with this – she points the crutches next to the couch – But I can do some errands, buy you food, help you to move around…  
\- Thank you, Dong… You are sweet – the director smiles.

The three women eat comfortably while talking about banal things and when they finish, the former leader and the Chinese woman comment on the meeting that they’re going to have that afternoon with a brand that is interested in making a contract with the model. Bora was the one supposed to accompany Handong to the meeting at the clothing brand's headquarters, because the woman has not been assigned a manager yet. The director reinforces a couple of points for Minji to keep in mind before the two of them leave, the CEO assuring her that she'll remember and call her later when they're done.

  
\- By the way – Minji turns on her heels to face the redhead, who is standing awkwardly on her crutches – Since Yoohyeon and Yubin are also busy with promos and so on, I asked Siyeon to check on you.  
\- What? Why?  
\- Because she’s the only one that can – she explains – Also, don’t act like you didn’t text each other the whole morning.  
\- But… - Bora argues – She must be busy writing songs for her debut and releasing content for her social media accounts.  
\- Yes, she is, but she can do that anywhere. Plus, you can help her if she gets stuck – the CEO waves as she heads out – Be nice and think about what we talked earlier.

The redhead groans at her friend’s words and, before Minji can get out, there’s a low knock on the other side of the door. Handong looks at Bora and, as she gets a shrug from the latter, she opens it:

  
\- Ah, Siyeon – the Chinese model greets formally – Nice seeing you.  
\- Hi, Handong – the singer greets back shyly – I’m here to see if Bora needs anything…?  
\- SIYEON! – the purple-haired woman jumps in – We were about to leave – she turns to look at her injured friend – I’ll call you later!

And with that, the two women are left alone. Siyeon grabs her backpack tighter, which hangs from her shoulder, and looks distractedly at the hall, as if waiting for the invitation to move freely.

  
\- Come in, silly – Bora finally speaks up as she turns to go back to the couch – Minji told me you are still writing songs.  
\- Yeah… - she follows her boss and, as they reach the couch, she hurriedly puts her backpack on the floor and tries to help the redhead – Lemme grab the crutches at least.

The director smiles at the concern shown by the singer and gives her the crutches before falling in the same place she has been occupying all morning. When Siyeon sees that everything is under control and that the redhead is comfortable in her place, she picks up her backpack again and carries it to where she is going to sit, leaving a considerable distance between herself and the other woman. The black-haired woman takes her notebook out of her backpack and puts it on her lap.

  
\- I’m a bit stuck, though.  
\- Why is that?  
\- I-… I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what people expect me to say with the lyrics.

The director hums and she pats the space next to her, and the singer scoots closer to her, still a bit shy.

  
\- When you compose and write your own music, you have to keep in mind what message you want to send and to who are you sending that message. It’s important to have those things clear – Siyeon nods, understanding what she means – The message can be simple, can be directed to yourself, can be complex and directed to someone you care for, … The important thing is that, at the end, you are satisfied with the outcome. Like Yooh. She wrote a song about how she fell for Minji and it’s something that she always wanted to say, something she wanted to get out. It’s not directed to anyone, it’s just for her wellness.  
\- I see… - she studies her notebook, like trying to picture the new lyrics.  
\- Just write whatever you feel likely to. Yubin will take care of it later and she will arrange it to make it work.  
\- Then, I just have to think what message I want to send…  
\- Yep – she shifts on her spot, trying to find a comfortable position.  
\- By the way, how are you feeling? – the singer looks at her, but blushes when she realizes she is closer to her than she thought.  
\- I… - the redhead zones out as she gets aware of Siyeon’s side pressed on hers – I-I’m fine? It doesn’t hurt as much as yesterday. I can’t wait to start doing my rehab.

It happens again. The black-haired woman stares at Bora's lips again and the latter is super aware of the heat emanating from her body, her breath caressing her face. The director’s jaw tightens as she closes her eyes for a second and she feels Siyeon shifting, her side a bit colder now.

  
\- Siyeon.  
\- Yeah?  
\- I know that we’ve talked about it – she starts, Minji’s words in her mind – But we both know that we didn’t go back to how we used to be.

Hearing those words, the other woman looks at her with a mixture of fear and surprise.

  
\- I’m sorry…

  
Bora tries to interrupt, but she continues:

  
\- I had to avoid you. Whenever we were together, I-… I remembered what we did, it comes automatically to my mind. So, I thought that maybe, if we stay away from each other for some time, I could move on.  
\- Did it happen just now too?

Siyeon nods and the director huffs, fishing with her hand the other woman’s one, her eyes on their intertwined hands

  
\- Same. That night keeps coming to my mind and I thought that what happened was the result of the alcohol… But it’s clearly not – she chuckles bitterly and lets out a shaky breath – That scares me a bit.  
\- Does it scare you because I’m an employee or because I’m a woman?  
\- Because you are a woman. It’s my first time feeling this way for a female. That’s why I told you to let it be and continue to be as we used to be.  
\- I get it. I understand your fear, it’s normal. I also felt it the first time I liked a girl, back in high school – she starts caressing her boss’ hand with her thumb again, like it’s a new habit – You can avoid what you are feeling around me for sure, but you’ll probably face the same problem in the future whenever you feel attracted to another woman. This – she points at them with her free hand - is not an isolated case. I just happen to be here when you are starting to realize that you might like women too. And maybe this is just pure sexual attraction, who knows, but it’s also part of you. You just need to get to know this new side of your life.

The redhead laughs lightly and squeezes her hand:

  
\- Why are you so mature sometimes? Oh my God…  
\- I don’t know what you’re talking about – she shrugs.  
\- Well… Thank you – she lays her head on the backrest, eyeing the other woman – So, what do you think is the best way to get to know it?

Siyeon smirks, shaking her head:

  
\- Are you seriously asking me?  
\- What? – she sits up a bit.  
\- I think it’s pretty obvious, you moron.

The singer leans in, capturing Bora’s lips. At first, the director freezes shocked, but after a couple of seconds, she answers back, deepening it. She lets Siyeon’s hand free and latches her hand on her nape, kissing the woman passionately. With their lips swollen, they part from each other, catching their breathes.

  
\- I see your point – Bora exhales.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well... 
> 
> At least Minji can relax now that she knows that the members don't hate her TT
> 
> PS: i didnt get to correct this chapter


	18. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Park makes Minji and Yoohyeon cry
> 
> Bora can't get anymore and tries to let some steam out, but doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// mention of sex and masturbation below the line!  
> I will sum up everything that's on that part for the ones that want to avoid it
> 
> The title refers to Nightmare, by Halsey. I was listening to it while writing the meeting part TT

The room is very quiet. Yoohyeon only hears Minji's heel hitting the ground rhythmically accompanying the nervous tic in her leg. Today, the taller woman has her first meeting with the company's biggest shareholders and, although her pre-release charted acceptably and she has remained in the top 20 for a couple of weeks, she can't help feeling even more scared than her girlfriend. Her solo project is something that the shareholders, especially Mr. Park, have practically forced to carry out, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to like the marketing and promotion plan. It’s not even known if they will like the content of the single. Despite Bora talking to them and explaining the content of the single and its layout before the meeting, they don't seem very convinced.

  
The door of the meeting room opens, startling the two women, and Handong appears behind it, to make way for a limping redhead, trying to walk on both legs. The director has already started her rehabilitation and, after days of treatment, the therapist has advised her to start walking without the help of crutches in order to strengthen her leg muscles and gradually regain her mobility. Surely, she feels how her leg is weaker than before her fall, but her confidence and her mood is way different from years ago: now she lets her friends help her and tries not to be a stubborn idiot whenever she feels weak. This change made possible for her to be walking without crutches this soon.

  
\- Looking good, Ms. Kim Bora – Minji smiles as she gets in the room – How’s your first time walking by your own?

  
\- Tiring and feeling fucking dumb… Dong doesn’t want me to walk like a normal human being, she is always yelling at me whenever I pick up my pace… Jesus, this woman…

  
\- Of course I’m yelling at you, the therapist said that should take everything slowly – the Chinese woman argues.

  
With a huff, the director sits across from Yoohyeon, to the right of the chuckling CEO, and opens her folder with the notes for the meeting on the table, while Handong walks over to the younger woman and puts a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it with a smile.

  
\- I’m sure they are going to love your single, don’t worry too much Yooh.

  
\- Thank you, DongDong… - she pouts.

  
\- They might be a bit hard to convince, but I’m pretty sure we’re gonna get what we want – Bora winks.

  
This is one thing Yoohyeon loves about working with her former members: the ability they have to read her and know what to say to encourage and support her. It's one thing they've developed over time that she finds comforting and from things like these people can tell that Dreamcatcher is her family. The grey-haired woman can’t stop thanking them for agreeing to continue working with her, despite the fact that they can no longer perform with her on stage.

  
The model says her goodbyes and walks out the door, and it isn’t long until a staff member knocks on the door to notify the arrival of the shareholders. At the announcement, Yoohyeon tenses again and Minji clenches her jaw; however, Bora seems relaxed as if she has everything under control. Although the CEO is the one who meets with them the most and has to deal with them on a daily basis, the director is the one who usually knows how to fight them better and make them accept her conditions when they meet to talk about projects.

  
\- Good morning, gentlemen – Minji greets as she stands on her spot.

  
\- Morning, Ms. Kim – Mr. Park smirks, eyeing the CEO – What a beautiful day, huh?

  
\- Indeed, Mr. Park – the director jumps in the conversation with a cold tone – Shall we start?

  
All the people present at the meeting take their seats and it’s the CEO who takes the lead to start the meeting, giving the floor shortly after to Bora, who explains all the details. The gray-haired woman is observing the interactions between her friend and the men in the room, and simply nods when it’s necessary to reinforce a statement made by the director.

  
\- Seems like a bit risky… - Mr. Park argues – Plus, why is there another song in English? I thought the only non-Korean song was going to be the pre-release one.

  
\- First of all, it’s the artist decision to write her lyrics in whatever language she desires. Second, the pre-release did well on charts, so maybe it’s not that bad having non-Korean songs in the single – the redhead states firmly.

  
\- Dreamcatcher might had been a successful group, but we don’t know if Yoohyeon is going to have the same impact as a solo artist. Also, this is a small company and you barely have the power to promote something that’s not in nowadays’ standards.

  
\- I think that Yoohyeon is a skilled artist and she will get the recognition she deserves; she has proven it with the pre-release and we even got some benefits from it. She has risen the general public’s expectations for her single and we think that the single is going to duplicate the benefits that the pre-release has given until now – Minji speaks up temperamentally, a bit full of the man’s attitude.

  
The room is filled by hums as the shareholders take a minute to think about what’s being said by the two women. The protagonist of the meeting is still mute, unsure whether she should speak out about what she thinks or let her friends continue to take control of everything that is being discussed.

  
\- While it’s true that a non-Korean song is a true challenge in this industry, since most of the people in this country can’t speak English, seeing the numbers of the English pre-release song might be a good indicative of the future success of the single… - Mr. Kim, the shareholder that Minji is fond of, shares to the other men.

  
\- Can we listen to the song once again? – Mr. Park asks Bora.

  
Panic is shown all over Yoohyeon’s face as she looks at the director wide-eyed. She can clearly see how the redhead gulps as she nods and proceeds to pull out her phone to play the track that she sent her. This is not how the grey-haired woman planned to show that song to her girlfriend, neither the way she planned to “come out”, if anyone in the room understands the lyrics. Yoohyeon starts to breath erratically as fear flows through her veins, but a comforting hand is placed on her knee under the table, making her look up at Minji, whose face doesn’t betray her and looks straight to Mr. Park. The CEO doesn’t know why her girlfriend is anxious, but she tries to calm her down without giving her action away.

\- Okay, hear it goes – Bora announces a bit lowly.

  
Music gets out through the speakers and reaches all the people in the room, the piano setting a quiet and saddened mood. Then, Yoohyeon’s voice lures them into the lyrics and most of them just stay still, putting all their attention on it. Mr. Kim just lays back and closes his eyes, enjoying the music, while the director looks down at her phone placed on the table. As the song goes on, the CEO’s hand, that’s on her knee, leaves and, when the final high note is hit, Minji’s eyes are blinking and focused on the papers in front of her.

  
\- What’s the name of the song? – Mr. Kim asks.

  
The taller woman clears her throat before answering:

  
\- Secret Love Song.

  
\- I see… - the man smiles lightly – Your vocals are on point on the song, I like it.

  
There’s a small chat among the shareholders and Mr. Park gazes Minji before he speaks up:

  
\- What do you think of the song, CEO?

  
The purple-haired woman takes a moment to straighten her back and calm down before facing him.

  
\- I think it’s perfect to be released: it shows clearly Yoohyeon’s voice potential, something she couldn’t do in the past while in Dreamcatcher. This is going to open more possibilities for her in the future, I’m sure.

The man stays quiet, as if he is ruminating her words, before speaking up again:

  
\- I don’t see the point of including an English song in the single.

  
\- Why not? It’s a good ballad and the general public normally likes this kind of songs.

  
\- It’s in English.

  
\- And what about it? – Minji is starting to lose her temper.

  
\- Ms. Kim, may I remind you who is the biggest shareholder in this room? – he argues back, a bit annoyed at her - My opinion has the same importance as yours. You might have been working for the industry as an artist for several years, but that doesn’t mean that your point of view as a businesswoman is the right one. I can’t even understand how you managed to survive as a CEO this long, your business plans are normally lacking in something. I’m the one who made this single possible and the one that has the last say about it. So, no English songs.

  
\- The song is great, though, Mr. Park – Mr. Kim defends.

  
\- The song would be greater in Korean, sir.

  
Some of the shareholders nod, agreeing with Mr. Park, and Yoohyeon’s heart sinks to her stomach, her eyes being filled with tears. She doesn’t know if she feels angry or sad at Mr. Park’s words. She doesn’t know if she feels angry or sad for her or for her girlfriend. He literally dragged her work and her girlfriend in the span of a minute. The taller woman looks down at her lap, swallowing the lump in her throat that is choking her, but she’s a bit startled when Minji gets on her feet:

\- I disagree. Yoohyeon has worked hard for MONTHS because I pushed her to get back on the spotlight as you wished, Mr. Park. It is truly UNFAIR to dismiss all that work and make her change her plans. We don’t and we WON’T change our policies: our artists are free to release any form of music as long as it has enough quality to be released. The song is great, you just dislike the fact that it is not in Korean. It’s okay. However, you can’t push back the song just because it’s in English. This track is not even the title track, there’s nothing wrong with maintaining its lyrics in English.

  
Bora is in awe as she sees Mr. Park becoming quiet. Everyone is shocked at the way Minji snapped out at him.

  
\- When you all invested in this company you agreed on let us handle things with our artists and we explained to you how we’re planning to do so. You all said yes back then, so there’s no point on having this discussion. You might like or not the song, but there’s nothing written about taste. We can’t predict the public reaction on this song, but there’s something we can state: the song is a perfect ballad. It has the mood and the vocals. If we pull out this song from the track list, we might lose sales and ranks on charts – the director clarifies, trying to calm both Minji and Mr. Park.

  
\- Let’s leave it here and continue tomorrow – the CEO huffs as she sits again – I want you all to have your time to think about it.

  
They all agree on that and the shareholders slowly leave the room, Mr. Park sticking behind a bit to call Minji out:

  
\- I don’t know what’s gotten into you during this meeting, but you will regret it.

  
\- Have a nice day, Mr. Park – she simply responds.

  
As soon as the three women are left alone, Minji collapses in her seat, tears streaming down her cheeks. Faced with this scene, Yoohyeon can't keep holding her own, which also sprout uncontrollably from her eyes. Bora, who was trying to maintain the role of director throughout the meeting, puts her face in her hands, breathing deeply so as not to join the other two broken women.

  
\- I’m so sorry, honey – says Minji between sobs – I’m so sorry…

  
\- Why are you sorry? You defended me, risking losing one of the mayor shareholders… - the grey-haired woman answers.

  
\- I- I’m sorry for always hiding you.

  
Realization hits Yoohyeon. Of course Minji wouldn’t lose her temper unless she feels like she’s being personally attacked. This song was composed as a cry of despair from the taller woman to the world who rejects her for loving a person of her same gender and she knew that the CEO was going to empathize with the song, but not in this way. She thought her girlfriend was going to be happy for her because she had finally found a way to talk about the person she loves without risking their careers. However, the scenario that is presenting itself to her is her girlfriend asking her forgiveness for hiding their relationship. That was never her intention. Yoohyeon understands the reasons why their relationship is hidden, she understands that in her country it’s still not something that is well seen and that, not only would it drag the couple, it would also drag the people who work for them. That’s why she has never complained and has never been upset with her reality. She did not expect that the one who was uncomfortable with it is Minji, the one who always reminded her that they should maintain their composure outside the home, the one who has always avoided unnecessary caresses in the hallways just in case, the one who even proposed disband Dreamcatcher in order to be with her.

  
\- Babe… - the grey-haired woman reaches for her cautiously.

  
Bora is in loss of words. She’s never seen her friend in such a state, the CEO always wearing a bright smile around them. She has cried in front of her, but not in this way. It looks like if she’s suffering from an unimaginable pain and couldn’t stop crying out loud. She sees Yoohyeon trying to reach for her and takes it as a cue to leave the room and make sure to give them some privacy. So she does, she heads off towards her office, closing the door behind her and notifying some staff to not disturb Minji in the meeting room. Once she gets into her office, she slumps on the small couch with a shaky huff as a small tear escapes her eye. It’s so frustrating seeing people suffering like that because some random people decide that they are wrong and sick, and it’s not the first time she sees this scene, but it always hits her hard. Bora wishes that she could help the ones she loves and make them happy, and whenever she tries to find a way to do it, she always ends up getting more and more upset.  
She pulls her phone out of her pocket as she sniffs away the remaining tears and taps on Siyeon’s chat. She stares at the screen for a while, but when she goes to type a message, she gets a text from someone else, Jae, asking if she is available today so that he can pick up his things from her apartment. Defeated with how the day has started, she decides to answer him later, when she is calmer, and leaves her phone on the couch while she gets up to continue working on her computer.

  
Bora is so focused on the task in front of her that she loses track of time and suddenly, someone is knocking on her office’s door.

  
\- Come in.

  
Siyeon gets in holding a plastic bag:

  
\- Hey, I was wondering if you fancy some food.

  
\- Hey – the director smiles, her eyes brighter than before – What did you bring?

  
\- Well, I brought tteokbokki without cheese, some friend chicken and kimchi.

  
\- Healthy food, I see…

  
\- Kimchi is healthy.

  
Both chuckle at that and the singer puts all the food on the small table next to the couch as Bora stands up slowly and walks to join her. They fall into a nice silence as they set everything up and they start eating, sometimes the director feeding her from her own cup.

  
\- Did you get to write some stuff?

  
\- Yep, I have the first lyrics of what it should be my title track.

  
\- Oh, and what’s about? – the redhead asks as she finishes her lunch and gets comfortable next to Siyeon.

  
\- It’s a secret – she answers with her mouth full of kimchi.

  
\- That’s unfair! – Bora pouts.

  
The singer was about to answer teasingly when something lits up right next to her:

  
\- Your phone, Bora – she says as she hands it over – Might be important.

  
The director huffs as she unlocks her phone and sees that Jae is insisting on meeting her today.

  
\- It’s Jae, he wants to get his stuff from my apartment today.

  
\- Oh, I see. Well, the sooner he gets his stuff, the better, right?

  
\- Yeah, I should text him back and meet him later in the evening.

  
Siyeon nods and goes back to her food as Bora types her message away and, when she is done, she throws her phone on the couch again, laying on the backrest and looking at the singer munching the last bites of tteokbokki. The director’s hand goes to the base of her back, caressing it over her shirt as she tries to word the right message:

  
\- Did you… Do you ever get attacked, verbally or physically, because you like women?

  
\- I always hide it. Just Gahyeon and you guys know.

  
\- Not even your parents?

  
\- Nope.

  
\- And what about your partners?

  
\- They… I hid them all. I was scared of being seen by anyone. I always said that they were good friends and that’s all.

  
\- Was it hard? To hide.

  
\- Of course… That’s why I like it here. I can be myself and talk with you all without being scared of getting fired or losing any of you.

  
Bora nods as the singer lays on the backrest with her and faces her.

  
\- Why do you ask? Is something bothering you?

  
\- I-… I had a rough morning. And I got a bit emotional. I guess that’s why I asked.

  
\- I see.

  
Siyeon’s hand finds hers and they intertwine their fingers as they stare into each other's eyes. It’s not weird anymore for them to find themselves in this position where they get too comfortable and their hands latch before their lips do. Sometimes it’s just a short kiss. Some other times they go for a full make out session. Either way, Bora is getting bolder each time, and the singer is the one that occasionally ends up stopping them before they go way too far. However, today they just share slow and comforting kisses, the director setting the pace and ending it after a few minutes.

  
\- If you need to talk, you know you can count on me – Siyeon mumbles.

  
\- I know.

  
The two women chat a little more, their hands never leaving each other’s skins, until the singer says goodbye to go to the music room and continue composing, so the director works a little more before going home tiredly. Lately, since it takes her longer to get to the subway and home, she leaves the office earlier and walks slowly to her destination. The walk helps her clear her head and by the time she reaches the door of her house, Jae is waiting for her in front of it.

  
\- Oh, you are early – she greets.

  
\- Yeah, I went to the wine shop and I thought that it was gonna take me more time to get here… - he shows the fancy bag.

  
\- Well, let’s try that wine of yours – she smiles as she opens her front door.

  
It is true that tonight's companion is not ideal, but the director is not going to say no to a glass of wine after the day she has spent at work. Well, maybe three glasses of wine, the ex-couple letting the alcohol make their minds fuzzy as they are comfortably chatting on her big couch.

  
\- So, you fell again.

  
\- Yep.

  
\- That’s lame.

  
\- I know, right? I’m dumb as fuck, I swear.

* * *

  
They laugh at her words and Jae throws an arm around her shoulders, getting himself closer to her. He tries to lean in, but Bora puts a hand on his chest, stopping him:

  
\- What are you doing? – she whispers, his nose barely touching hers.

  
\- Relax, it’s for fun – he says calmly.

  
\- Just for fun.

  
\- Yeah, just for fun.

  
And she lets go, all her pent-up sexual arousal gets out as her exboyfriend lifts up her shirt and caresses her skin while they make out. But Bora’s mind is not there. Whenever she closes her eyes to enjoy the moment, she starts missing Siyeon’s sharp nails marking her sides. Whenever Jae’s hand wander around her legs, she wishes it were Siyeon the one between her legs. Whenever his teeth meet her skin, she doesn’t get relieved with pleasure as she does with the singer. Why something that came natural between Jae and her before it’s not longer there? It’s not like she is disgusted at the idea of getting laid with him. It’s just… It’s that she would rather have Siyeon’s fingers caressing her through her underwear than the hands that are actually doing it.

As the thought comes to her, her minds get less blurry and she suddenly closes her thighs together.

  
\- Is something wrong? – Jae asks, his voice low and pupils blown, moving a bit away from her.

  
\- I-… I can’t.

  
\- Is it the leg? Are you afraid of hurting it?

  
\- No, no – she pulls away and reaches for her shirt to pull it over her half naked torso – I’m just not… I’m not interested.

  
\- Oh.

  
Jae takes his hand off Bora and tries to give the woman some space.

  
\- Did I make you uncomfortable?

  
\- No, I just realized I don’t want to do this – she buttons up her jeans as she speaks – I’m sorry.

  
\- No, Bora, you don’t have to apologize. I mean, it’s a shame, but you are not obligated to do anything you don’t want to.

  
The director smiles at that, nodding. Before heading out, Jae helps her to tidy up the living room and gather his things. Once alone, the woman walks slowly to her bathroom, stripping down on the way, and turns on the shower. She tries to relax under the water stream, but her mind keeps traveling down to the memories of the first time the singer marked her legs with her nails, how she bit her cleavage and how her lips felt on her neck. They have been making out since then, the redhead getting more and more aroused every time. She feels like she’s going to explode and the situation that just happened didn’t help at all. So, for the moment, she lets her hand caress her abdomen while traveling towards her core as her eyes close to replay all those moments with the dark-haired woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important stuff below the line: Bora realizes that she might feel something for Siyeon, something else than just pure sexual attraction, as she tries to burn some arousal with her ex.
> 
> ANYGAYS, don't hate me. Also, I tried to make dialogs a bit easier to read as anon asked me on curiouscat, I hope it worked :(
> 
> How are you liking the Jiyoo side story? I struggled A LOT to write this one. I wanted to have that angsty moment between jiyoo and I didn't know how to put in words Bora's realization of her feelings.


	19. Vamos a la Luna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less angst, more fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// mentions of sex! if you want to avoid it, don't read below the line
> 
> Vamos a la Luna is Hat:Felt's new song! She is one of my favs korean artists, along with mamamoo and dreamcatcher! Check her out ^^

Siyeon is sipping on her coffee, leaning on the countertop, as Gahyeon is cooking her lunchbox while she hums a song the singer knows very well.

  
\- I see you like Yooh’s song.

  
\- I love it. Even if it’s in English, it’s very catchy. What’s it about? – she asks, not looking up at her sister.

  
\- About how she fell in love with Minji.

  
\- Oh, wow, that’s brave! I can’t believe the company approved such a risky thin-

  
\- It’s genderless.

  
\- Ah… That makes sense.

  
\- Yeah – Siyeon huffs – Since Happy Face is still a small company, they can’t risk it that much. They have lots of workers under the company: if they come out as a couple, they could lose it all and drag their workers with them…

  
\- That… That sucks. I can’t imagine how hard must be to hide who you truly are…

  
\- Indeed…

  
They stay quiet for a moment, letting those words sink in. The singer puts her mug away as she finishes her remaining coffee and goes to the fridge to pull out some vegetables and chicken to cook her lunchbox. Her sister is already done with hers, and she is already packaging her bag.

  
\- Are you going to be home for dinner? – Gahyeon asks as she zips up her bag.

  
\- I’m not sure, since I’m going with Bora to her rehab session later this afternoon… Normally she takes one hour and a half? More or less. But I have loads of work to do at the company, so after her rehab, I’m going back to the company – Siyeon answers as she chops an onion.

  
\- Okay … - a smirk appears on the small sister’s face – How are things going with her?

  
The singer glances at her for a moment, a bit taken back by the question:

  
\- What do you mean?

  
\- Well, you have kissed, you go with her to rehab, you text each other a lot – she puts her finger up, as shushing her older sister – I’VE SEEN YOU, DON’T YOU DARE TO SAY NO.

  
Siyeon huffs defeatedly and her eyes focus on the pan while she finds the correct words to explain their situation. It’s true that it’s not easy to explain the whole thing. Bora and she have been making out since they talked, and she likes it. She likes it too much. Every time they get way into it, something in her stomach burns and she needs to take a moment away from the redhead or else she will lose control. Not in a bad way, not like when she was younger and she got super angry, feeling her blood boiling in her veins. More in a “fuck-Bora-senseless” kind of way, and she is struggling to keep that feeling tamed. She doesn’t want to cross that line while the redhead is still confused, injured and, last but not least, she is her boss. Isn’t it weird to fantasize about doing it with your boss?

  
\- Something wrong? – the singer hears on her left, Gahyeon eyeing her from where she is.

  
\- Nope – she answers nonchalantly – We text because she is my boss and she still works with all of us, even if she can’t dance.

  
\- Well, it’s rare that a boss asks her employee to accompany her to therapy, isn’t it?

  
\- I promised her that I’ll go with her as many times as I can, she didn’t ask for it. Quite the opposite: she wants me to have my free time for myself. But I’m going because I want to go with her and because I want to keep my word – at this point, Siyeon sounds a bit annoyed at Gahyeon’s interrogation.

  
Her sister seems to study her features, like trying to find some sort of cue to see if she’s telling the truth, but she just shrugs it after a few seconds to not annoy her anymore, grabbing her bag and waving at Siyeon:

  
\- Then, text me to let me know your night plans, Ms. Lee.

  
\- Okaaaaaaaaaaay.

  
As Gahyeon leaves, she finishes to cook her lunch and starts to get ready to leave towards the company. She continues to have trouble composing songs and when she does finish one, she doesn't quite like it. When she sings them, she doesn’t feel reflected in the verses and it’s something that makes her restless. That’s why she feels less and less motivated to go to her workplace. If it weren’t for her friends and co-workers, she surely rather stays in bed.  
Siyeon exits the bus at the stop closest to the company and, as she makes her way to her destination, she sees a redhead in the distance going at a speed much slower than most of the crowd that fills the streets of the Korean business district. As she gets a little closer to her, a small smile is planted on her face while she calls her name:

  
\- Bora!

  
The smaller woman turns to face the person calling her, the sight of the singer reaching her making her smile too:

  
\- I thought you’d be already in the company, Siyeon.

  
\- My sister took long to cook her breakfast and her lunch… And I woke up late too – she admits lastly – What about you? Shouldn’t you be at the company right now?

  
\- A-ah… - she stutters a bit as she remembers why she woke up late today - Yesterday was a long day, so I decided to not rush to the company today. My first meeting is in one hour and it’s about Yoohyeon’s solo, so there’s nothing I have to prepare in advance.

  
\- Oh, yeah, I remember you being a bit… off yesterday. Didn’t you guys have Yooh’s solo meeting yesterday morning?

  
\- Yeah, but it went bad. Some shareholders are not okay with her single debut having an English song. Minji got angry at one of them because he was a dick, to be honest, so at the end she decided to postpone the meeting for today morning.

  
\- I see… I hope it goes better today.

  
\- I hope so too.

  
They’ve already reached the building’s gate and they are now on the elevator, Siyeon pushing the right button to the company.

  
\- So, at what time is the appointment today? – she asks while the elevator’s doors close.

  
\- For the therapy? – the singer nods at her – 7pm. I pushed it later in the afternoon, so we can both make the most of the time we have in the company before heading there.

  
\- Okay, then I’ll meet you in your office at… 6pm?

  
\- Yep.

  
The black-haired woman nods as the doors open again, gaining a bright smile from the director.

  
\- See you then, good luck with the meeting – she says as she walks towards the music room.

  
At the word "meeting," the redhead sighs, stress starting to build up on her shoulders. After seeing her best friend shattered and Yoohyeon so scared, she doesn't know if she wants to go back in and face that situation again. As soon as she enters her office, she dumps her bag and throws it on a chair, picks up the documents she needs, and leaves her office, walking slowly towards Minji's. She knocks twice and waits a second before getting in and being greeted by a sleep depraved CEO:

  
\- What’s wrong with your face?

  
Minji exhales soundly as she rubs her forehead:

  
\- I don’t want to go to the meeting.

  
The director’s eyes soften at the confession and she takes a seat in front of her friend:

  
\- You have to go. For Yooh.

  
\- I know – she looks at Bora – But… Oh God. There’s a lot in my mind since yesterday. I don’t know if I’m being a good CEO or if it was my “girlfriend-side” the one that stepped in yesterday during the meeting. I want her to release whatever she wants to, but, as a CEO, I need to make sure that it’s also going to profit well for the company, you know? But when I listened to the song, I lost it. I lost all my logic and this guilty feeling filled me, all I wanted to do was to cry my lungs out-

  
\- Which you did, clearly - the director points at her face.

  
\- Yes… You have no idea how worried Yooh was. She even tried to cook for me, but she kind of burnt rice.

  
\- Kind of?

  
\- Yes, our apartment smells terrible now – the purple-haired chuckles at that.

  
\- At least she didn’t burn the stove, like she did back in the dorm – the director laughs at the memories of a younger Yoohyeon running in circles while the kitchen was burning.

  
\- True!

  
Both women fall into a content silence, until Minji voices out her worries:

  
\- Do you think Mr. Park is going to accept?

  
\- Maybe not, but I hope the rest of them do.

  
The honesty in Bora’s words makes the CEO to lay back on her chair. She replays all the previous meeting in her mind: how the shareholders weren’t convinced by the redhead’s explanation, how her girlfriend was panicking when they asked to listen to the song, how she realized why she was panicking when the song reached the first chorus, … At that point, her mind was all blurry and she doesn’t even remember clearly what she said at the end of the meeting.

  
\- I should talk to Yoohyeon about the song, shouldn’t I? – she smiles bitterly.

  
\- Yes. Do it before you go crazy and start that guilt trip of yours, the one you did for years since we disbanded.

  
\- I should have talked with her long time ago… She tried to talk about it, about the whole thing of being hidden – Minji huffs – Plus, I didn’t ask her when I told her to join me with this whole thing. I didn’t ask her if she was okay with getting in the industry again and all the things that this entails. She just said yes because-

  
\- She said yes because she is happy here and not in that old creepy town of hers – Bora interrupts – You have to stop blaming yourself, Minji. She was a grown-up woman when you asked her, and she knew what implied to be part of this. So, if she said yes is because she was sure about it. Of course you both need to talk, but don’t talk to her if you are not in the mindset to do it. Figure your things out before facing that conversation or you will screw it up even worse.

  
The CEO smiles at the wise advice of her friend, even if she is all serious and a bit angry at her. She is about to compliment her speech when a knock is made on her door:

  
\- Come in.

  
The grey-haired woman gets in as she opens the door, smiling brightly at Bora when she sees her:

  
\- Hi, you two, I didn’t expect you here.

  
\- We were just talking about how you burnt rice – the director teases.

  
\- … It’s her fault, I couldn’t leave her side because she was being clingy – Yoohyeon points at a surprised Minji.

  
\- Just admit you don’t even know how to use a rice cooker.

  
The taller one whines at that, pulling a chuckle from her girlfriend, who is amused by their interaction. Yoohyeon takes a seat next to Bora and glances at the documents the director has on her lap:

  
\- How are we going to do it? Do you have a plan, Bora?

  
The redhead hums a bit until she speaks up truthfully:

  
\- Not really. But Minji’s words yesterday were on point to get the shareholders to lean more on our side than in Mr. Park’s… Let’s see how it goes and we can worry about it afterwards.

  
\- Then, let’s go to the meeting room before they get here – the CEO concludes, getting nods form the other two women.

  
They don't have time to sit down when a staff member announces the arrival of the shareholders and the three women stand to greet them. The air is gets thicker, even more so when Minji meets her gaze with Mr. Park's.

  
\- Good morning, gentlemen. Thank you for coming today too.

  
\- Wouldn’t have been necessary if you listened yesterday to what I said, Kim Minji – he attacks without giving the CEO time to sum up the point that were made yesterday.

  
The purple-haired woman is about to answer back, but she remembers the main goal of this meeting and she takes a deep breath before taking the lead and talk about Yoohyeon’s solo project again. As she speaks, she can sense some more shareholders than yesterday nodding at her, approving her words, and Mr. Kim smiling lightly at her. She feels how some of the pressure in her chest is leaving, allowing her brain to function better. Her friend jumps in from time to time to strengthen some of the proposals she is making. This is a whole different scenario from yesterday’s.

  
\- Are there any complaint or any suggestion before ending the meeting? – Minji finishes.

  
All this time, Mr. Park has just been staring at the CEO from his seat without saying a word. Yoohyeon has been keeping an eye on him and the way he looks at Minji is terrifying, like he's waiting for his prey to make a mistake. The tall woman is surprised that he doesn't even take the opportunity to answer the question the purple-haired woman just asked, which worries her even more.

  
\- Okay, then, thank you for coming and we will keep you informed about the project.

  
They all leave, Mr. Kim the only one waving his goodbye, leaving the three women by their own.

  
\- That was… weird – the redhead speaks up after a minute – Why didn’t Mr. Park say anything?

  
\- Right? He was only staring at Minji, all creepy…

  
\- He has something in his mind… - the CEO says, concerned.

  
\- Whatever he has, he can’t do anything about this project anymore, the rest of the shareholders are fine with it and we got the thumbs up to start recording the mv and so on… - Bora shrugs – Anyways, I better get going, I have some stuff to do before leaving for therapy.

  
\- Oh, how’s that going? Is Dong going with you today? – the grey-haired woman beams at her.

  
\- I’m feeling better, although it still hurts a bit when the therapist does his thing with my knee. And Siyeon is coming with me today-

  
\- How is it going with her? – Yoohyeon smirks, interrupting her.

  
The director, who was gathering her stuff to leave, leans back on her seat, taking a moment:

  
\- I guess… fine? But it’s frustrating.

  
Both Minji and her girlfriend exchange shocked looks before gazing back at the redhead:

  
\- What do you mean? I thought you talked again and everything was settled… - Minji asks.

  
\- We talked, yeah. And we make out. And I… - Bora shakes her head and leans on the table, whispering – Last night Jae came, we drunk a wine and we got tipsy, and because of Siyeon and her tongue, I’ve been fucking horny for too long, so we-

  
\- YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR EX? – the taller woman shushes.

  
\- NO! I mean… Almost. But we stopped midway because I couldn’t keep her out of my mind…

  
\- So, basically, you just want Siyeon to push you against a wall. Naked. – Minji laughs.

  
\- Maybe? I thought I was straight? What the hell is happening? – the director runs a hand through her hair - You two are the gay counselors, give me answers.

  
\- Maybe you weren’t as straight as you thought – Yoohyeon eyes her.

  
\- So, what am I?

  
\- You can avoid tagging yourself and go with the flow. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about what you do in your bed, Bora – the CEO explains – If you want to go further with her, do it.

  
The woman huffs, getting up from her seat already:

  
\- I’m her boss, Minji-

  
\- I’m Yoohyeon’s CEO and I sleep with her – she points at the younger woman - I don’t see the problem as long as you two keep it professional when you are needed to.

  
Bora gazes her and, after a second, gives up and makes her way towards the meeting room’s door, waving at the other two women. She feels more relieved after the conversation with her friends, but she surely needs to figure out things before she messes up with Siyeon. Although she doesn't want a relationship for now, she also doesn't want to spoil the special friendship she has with the singer for sex. Perhaps the black-haired woman is smarter than her and that’s why she has been stopping her feet while they made out these last days, fearing that everything would be ruined by crossing a line that they should not cross, right?

  
The director is lost in thought and, between paperwork and her busy head, the time to go to therapy arrives, Siyeon waiting for her in front of the door of her office. Both women just exchange a smile and walk side by side outside of the building, barely exchanging a word. It isn't until they reach the bus stop that Bora breaks the comfortable silence:

  
\- Are you still struggling with your music?

  
\- Yes, I can’t write a song that “sounds” like a title track.

  
\- What if you don’t try that hard and just let go? You don’t need to fit in one mandatory style or genre, just do your thing. We will take care of the rest.

  
Before the other woman can answer, the bus arrives and she tries to help the director move through the vehicle to a vacant seat. Once they are sitting, Siyeon tries to clarify her situation:

  
\- I like ballads, a lot, and rock songs. But it’s hard to combine them in one mini-album.

  
\- Do you already have any song that you like a lot but doesn’t look like a “title track”?

  
\- Yes, there’s one I’ve been writing and arranging since a month ago.

  
\- Is it rock-ish or…?

  
\- It’s a ballad.

  
\- Okay… What’s it about?

  
\- Me sending a message to the ones I love and myself too.

  
\- Did you start recording it with Yubin?

  
\- Nope. Not yet. I don’t feel like it’s ready…

  
Bora nods understandingly. She doesn’t want Siyeon to rush, even though her debut date is approaching. She trusts the singer and doesn’t want to pressure her more than she is already pressuring herself. So, she just grabs her hand and squeezes it, while saying:

  
\- Just do your thing and take your time.

  
A short time later, they arrive at the therapy clinic and, as always, the black-haired woman sits on one side of the room while the therapist works with the director. As the sessions have progressed, Bora has been able to move better and perform the whole therapy’s exercises more easily, without so much pain and feeling freer. So much so that there are times when the therapist has to stop her.

  
\- Well, you are almost done here, Ms. Kim. You seem to be ready to start dancing agai-

  
\- REALLY? – both women shout in unison, interrupting the therapist.

  
\- I mean, not intensely, but sure. Just, please, take it easy and don’t go hard on yourself. Tomorrow I’ll explain you what exercises you’ll need to do by your own to strengthen your leg’s muscles – the therapist waves, after giving the director her appointment card for tomorrow.

  
Just as both women leave the clinic, the redhead looks excitedly at the singer:

  
\- We should celebrate!

  
\- Yes! – Siyeon says, the excitement of the other woman spreading on her.

  
\- Let’s get some drinks at the bar!

* * *

  
However, the two don't last long at the bar, the alcohol disinhibiting them and causing Bora to drag the singer home, her hands under Siyeon's shirt as soon as the other woman closes the door behind them. Their lips collide, pushing the black-haired woman against the door, and her fingers try to grab and pull the clothing that acts as a barrier between them.

  
\- Bora – Siyeon pulls away a bit

  
\- Shut up.

  
The other woman is about to argue when the redhead pulls her shirt off and taking the black-haired’s hands towards her naked waist.

  
\- Just fuck me already.

  
That’s all the tipsy singer needed to let go. They stumble on their way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind them. Siyeon takes her time enjoying the woman beneath her, her hands discovering every inch of skin and her mouth savoring her. Bora lets the singer guide her, pleasant sounds escaping her mouth each time the other woman pays attention to her breasts or scratches her hips as she pulls her closer to her. The redhead tries to keep her eyes open, admiring the marks Siyeon leaves on her skin and studying the other woman's body, but as she sees and feels the black-haired woman's mouth moving down her abdomen, her head falls back into the pillow, one of her hands going directly to Siyeon's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you have been reaching me through curiouscat and twitter and i like it :DDD thank you so much for your kind words!
> 
> Anywayssssssssssssssssssssss, the time has come! How is Suayeon's nation feeling? We still have to tie up several things (Subindong??? thing, ot5 talk, Siyeon's debut, Jiyoo's talk, Mr. Park creeppiness, etc etc), but we are definitely on the second half of the story :)


	20. Parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Bora comes to realize that maybe she likes women too, MR. Park makes his move and changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parting by Onewe! Great and angsty song.
> 
> TW// there're mentions of sex during almost the whole chapter. Be aware.

Bora’s body trembles as she comes for the second time that morning, her limbs falling flat against her mattress. Siyeon lays down next to her, catching her breathing.

  
The sun has been up for a couple hours now, but they don’t seem to mind. When the director woke up, her face buried in the singer’s neck and her palm flat against her chest, she panicked a bit. Of course she remembered everything that happened last night, but waking up to a totally different scenario than the one she’s used to is shocking. However, as if Siyeon noticed her sudden anxious state, she turned her face and brought her lips to hers. And things got out of hands again.

  
\- I don’t feel like I can keep going, Siyeon – the redhead exhales, her hand brushing back the locks that are stuck on her sweaty face.

  
Said woman chuckles while turning to lay on her side and face her.

  
\- You weren’t saying the same thing an hour ago, though.

  
Bora scoffs at her sarcastically as she turns her face to look at her. The singer's body is decorated with the marks her nails and teeth have left, especially her shoulder, which she bit way too hard last night. However, her body is not different: her thighs are covered in scratches and bites, there are red marks all over her breasts and even more marks around her hips. She doesn't remember the last time she fell asleep naked from sheer exhaustion and woke up to repeat the events of the previous night. However, this time it felt strange. Not in a bad way. It's just that she is usually the one who sets the pace, the one who always dominate the whole situation. But today she let things flow and she doesn’t mind it. Actually, she is grateful the black-haired woman has showed her the way as she explored her body. It made her realize that she can take pleasure from other things. She used to think that she could only come when men were inside her, because when she touched herself she didn’t get the same amount of pleasure out of it. But, last night, when she came in Siyeon’s mouth for the first time, she felt so good, her body felt so light. It’s like a new door has been opened in front of her.

  
As her mind travels around her thoughts, her hand goes up instinctively to caress the mark she left on the singer’s shoulder, the latter not moving away when her fingers ghost her skin.

  
\- I feel like I gave less than I received – Bora blurts out shyly as she comes back from her thoughts.

  
The other woman frowns, confused at that:

  
\- What do you mean?

  
\- I-… It’s like I did less than you? I feel like I owe you som-

  
\- Oh no, Bora, I enjoyed everything, every minute of this, you don’t owe me anything. We both had fun, right? – the singer smiles reassuringly.

  
The redhead smiles at her and drifts her eyes away from her, looking back at the ceiling:

  
\- I felt a bit clumsy last night, like I was out of place all the time…

  
The light laugh that comes out from Siyeon’s mouth makes Bora feel weirdly relieved.

  
\- Well, if it’s your first time with a woman is normal to feel lost at first.

  
\- It is my first time – she confirms.

  
\- Then, don’t worry about it. Like I’ve told you, it was a fun night.

  
The redhead nods, still avoiding the stare she can feel on the side of her face. It's true, she shouldn't think twice: it was a fun night and the singer doesn't seem upset at all. There is nothing to worry about.

  
\- We should get ready to go to work then - the director says, sitting up reluctantly and getting out of bed.

  
This is the first time that Siyeon has been able to calmly contemplate the other woman's body as she gets up and walks around the room. Bora's curves, which her hands already know very well, are decorated by the dim light that comes from the window and, although it sounds strange, all she wants to do is to hug them. As cheesy as it is, the singer would have liked to spend more time talking with the redhead in bed, while her hand caresses her skin. A small sigh comes out of her mouth when the other woman announces that she is going to shower quickly so that Siyeon can use the shower too, disappearing behind the bathroom door. Is she catching feelings? No, that can’t be. They are friends, that’s why she likes being around Bora. And last night was pure sexual tension and nothing more. Right?

  
\- Siyeon?

  
The woman blinks twice before looking at the director, who is already showered.

  
\- Yes?

  
\- Are you okay? – she notices how the singer has spaced out.

  
\- Yeah, I’m a bit tired, that’s it.

  
Siyeon stands up and, shyly covering herself a bit with her arms in front of her body, she goes to reach for the towels the redhead is offering. As soon as she finishes showering and gets dressed, Bora has already made her a coffee to go and, without much delay, they get out of her apartment. Both women fall into a banal conversation on the way and say their goodbyes as soon as their feet touch the floor of the company.

  
The singer doesn’t hesitate much about where to go as she walks determinedly to the music room, but when she enters that room she doesn’t sit in front of the piano as usual. This time she goes straight to the guitar in the opposite corner and sits down with it, pulling out her notepad to place it in front of her. She doesn’t know why she has put aside her favorite instrument to pick up the guitar, but she feels that it’s the only way to take everything she has in her head and put it on paper. Maybe then, written down as music notes, she can understand how she feels and why there is a whirlpool in her head that keeps making her lose control whenever she is around that woman. Surely, she has liked other people before and she has fallen in love too. But her feelings for Bora are way too blurry and she can’t see through them as clearly as she had done with her feelings for other people. It’s like being under the effect of some kind of drug that’s making her brain fuzzy and useless. Gahyeon always tells her that talking about it helps to put every confusing thing together and bring some light into it. But she doesn’t want to talk about it. She doesn’t want to talk about something she can’t put words to. But music… She can put music to it. She can just let it flow through her fingers and ears and let the chords explain her how she feels before she even tries to put words to it.

  
On the other hand, the director feels different. Since she has been left alone and got in her office, her mind has begun to travel back to the events of last night, which makes her rethink some stuff. Still, of one thing she is sure: Siyeon may appeal to her, a lot, but she's not going to do anything about it. She doesn't want this to go any further, much less get complex feelings between them. It’s true that Bora loves being with the other woman, she feels free and she feels herself, but that is precisely why she doesn’t want anything to spoil this. She doesn't want to complicate it. She wants to leave it as it is. Last night was fun. This morning was fun. She enjoyed it. That’s it.

  
A soft knock startles her, getting her mind back to the real world, and she calls the person behind the door to come in:

  
\- Hey, Sua – the Chinese model smiles as she gets in and closes the door.

  
\- Dong, how are you? – she greets, showing a bright smile to her.

  
\- Fine. Just wanted to check if you have anyone to go to therapy with you.

  
\- Oh, actually… - she thinks for a second before continuing - I don’t.

  
\- Shall I go with you? I have the rest of the day off.

  
\- Sure. Today is going to b-

  
Bora can’t finish her sentence when Minji storms through the door, her face showing all her distress:

  
\- Bora, to my office. You too, Handong.

  
\- What- What’s wrong? – the director stutters at the seriousness in her friend’s voice.

  
\- Just come to my office. I’m going to call Yubin in too.

  
The other two women nod, letting the CEO leave. When they arrive at said office, Yoohyeon is already there, walking around the room and with her hand nervously playing with her braided hair.

  
\- What’s happening? – the redhead doesn’t waste time asking.

  
The taller woman looks at her and tightens her jaw before speaking up:

  
\- Mr. Park.

  
The room is filled with silence and tension with just those two words.

  
\- What do you mean? – Handong asks too.

  
\- He just spoiled everything – Minji explains as she gets in her office with Yubin, going to sit on her desk chair – Please, lock the door.

  
The producer obeys, and after that, the four women take a seat in the office too, looking expectantly at Minji, except her girlfriend, who is looking at the floor.

  
\- Mr. Park has not only withdrawn his position as a shareholder in this company but has also sold information about Yoohyeon's solo. – she informs.

  
\- How much time has been this information going around? How bad is it? – Bora intervenes, a bit shocked at the news.

  
\- Couple of hours – the grey-haired woman answers.

  
\- That’s not the worst part, though – Minji takes a deep breath – He also stated that Yooh has a “romantic” partner, who is the main character of her songs “Can’t get you out of my mind” and “Secret Love Song”.

  
\- But no one knows it is you, right? – Handong is the one asking now.

  
\- No – the couple say at the same time.

  
\- So, to sum up, we have some information leaked and a dating scandal – Yubin thinks out loud – We could use the leaked info as a promo…

  
\- But the dating scandal… that’s a whole different matter – the director frowns, her head trying to figure the way out of this issue.

  
\- And the money. His share of stock was the biggest one – the CEO exhales.

  
\- What are the options? – the Chinese woman looks between her former members.

  
\- Well… - the redhead starts – Given the situation, we need to make some profit from the leaked info, as Yubin said. Then, the dating scandal… We can release a statement denying the dating scandal. And about the money we need new shareholders or cut the number of employees we have.

  
\- But we already have less staff members than artists. How are they going to keep up with their workload if we fire some staff members? – Yoohyeon jumps in the conversation.

  
\- We need to either push our artists to create more content or break the contract with them – the producer huffs – Siyeon… She is taking too long to send me the songs she wants to release-

  
\- Siyeon has been having some troubles composing, she is new in this, don’t point her out – Bora says firmly as she frowns, looking at the other woman a bit angrily.

  
\- Yeah, but she wouldn’t have taken this long if you two didn’t go to your therapy together. She has to work harder on writing her music and stop getting distracted by her own boss – Yubin fires back.

  
\- First of all, I didn’t ask her to come with me. She offered. Secondly, she has been working hard and I’ve been watching over her and helping her out whenever she was stuck.

  
\- But still she spends too much time with you, either practicing random dances and performances or just being in your office. She barely spends time at the production booth – the auburn woman points out – Just stop distracting her. Her priority is writing her music, not her performance or fucki-

  
\- Don’t you dare, Yubin. We are being professional; we didn’t do any of that-

  
\- I hope so, because you are still her BOSS and fucking an employee would be so wron-

  
\- STOP IT YOU TWO – Minji shouts and the other two women become quiet – What’s wrong with you? This is not helping! We need solutions and we need to stay united as one. We are a team, Jesus Christ.

  
Over the CEO’s cheeks run some small tears as she tries to calm her friends. The situation is bad enough to be fighting for what is right or not in their sexual life. She had already been through that conversation once and ended up on the Dreamcatcher disband. She doesn't need more of that.

  
\- Guys – the model gets up from her spot to get attention– I just signed contracts with major firms. Also, Yooh’s pre-release has made money. Dami has been producing for artists outside the company. Sua and Jiu have been doing a great job with the rest of the shareholders. We also still have our group songs and they are still profiting, which means that we, as individuals, have money enough to invest here. Money shouldn’t be a big problem for us… We should focus on Yoohyeon’s dating scandal, so you two don’t get caught as a couple.

  
The women exchange glances, thinking about the words Handong just said. The Chinese one doesn’t want the Dreamcatcher story to repeat itself again. She doesn’t want another member to be the victim of the irrational hatred of this society, as Yubin was back then. She doesn’t want to have to face it again, she doesn’t want to see one of her friends helpless in the face of insults and threats from another person for who they are. Protecting Yoohyeon should be everyone's top priority because money comes and goes, and financial losses can always be fixed and recovered.

  
\- We can make a group investment in Happy Face Company. We just need to create a financial identity or something like that, put all the same amount of money in it and buy shares of stock of our company – she turns to Minji – There must be something we can do about that, you just need to ask for help to your financial consultants. However, the Yoohyeon thing is dangerous, given the fact that you both live in the same place and go around in the same car. What if someone sees how you two are always together and puts the missing pieces together, figuring out that you are the main character of Yooh’s songs?

  
\- Are you saying that we should live separately? – the taller woman mutters sadly, looking at Handong.

  
\- No, Yooh – the director assures her – We just need to be extra-careful and release a good statement about that information. We need to work on it. Together.

  
Bora looks at the producer, whose jaw is tight shut, and continues:

  
\- I’ll give my all to protect Yoohyeon and our company. Don’t worry, I won’t distract Siyeon anymore. She is all yours from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who want to skip this chapter due to tw:  
> Bora realizes that maybe she actually likes women. Siyeon is a bit confused about her feelings for Bora, because they are a bit intense than the ones she has felt until now for her former partners. Mr. Park basically leaves the company and sells private info about Yoohyeon to the media. Yubin and Bora have a small fight, which results in Bora promising her friends to stop distracting Siyeon.
> 
> Life has been a bit demanding lately, that's why I'm taking so long to write the updates. I hope that you are still here with me, though ^^
> 
> Small introduction to the second half of the story! I hope you liked it!


	21. Same Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yubin regrets the way she handled things. Bora is surprised by Gahyeon's maturity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same Love by Macklemore and Mary Lambert ^^
> 
> Softer chapter?

It’s done.

  
Finally, it’s done.

  
Siyeon can’t contain her excitement as she listens to the instrumental arrangement in the production booth with Yubin. She is already humming the lyrics as the instrumental goes on, the producer just nodding rhythmically whenever the chorus is played.

  
\- Well, we just need to record the lyrics and do the last arrangements – the auburn one says.

  
\- Okay! Let’s get it! – the singer answers excitedly as she stands up from her spot.

  
Normally she is not the type of person who gets overly excited to the point of raising her voice or feeling more energetic, but today she is. She is finally going to be able to record her two debut songs, her dreams finally coming true. She is officially going to be an artist.

  
However, there is something that has been bothering the singer. Since she informed the company, that is, Minji, Yubin, Bora, and Yoohyeon, she seems like she's the only one excited about it. Siyeon deduced something was up and she confirmed it when she saw the official statement about Yoohyeon’s dating status the company released couple days ago. It’s hard not to see how the friends’ mood is off. Even today, while they are working together, the producer has been extremely serious. She isn’t excited about anything, not for music, not for the new video game that she couldn't stop talking about a few days ago, not for the soon release of Yoohyeon's solo. So far, Yubin has only responded with “yes” and “no” and has only elaborated more on her answer when strictly necessary. Although it’s true that she is not very talkative, her way of communicating today is practically non-existent.

  
Siyeon tries to turn those things off for now as she walks into the small recording room and prepares to sing. The singer takes a deep breath, relaxing, and lets her mind travel between the memories and feelings that inspired the first song she is going to record, her title track. The first piano notes and the soft bass lead her to the first lines of her song, these instruments later complemented with electric guitars, drums and a much more frenetic rhythm, dying at the end of the song with the last lines that she sings.

  
\- That first try was really good, Siyeon, good job – Yubin comments, her attitude way off compared to her words – We could add some adlibs on the last chorus to make it more explosive and attractive.

  
The producer doesn’t dare to look at the singer while she complies with her directions, her mind being full of regret and anger. She has an idea of who the lyrics of Siyeon’s title track are addressed to. She can feel the desire and the love the singer feels, how she tries to get a handle of them, but in the end, she just keeps losing control when it comes to the other person. Those lyrics pull the events that occurred four days ago to her mind. She hasn’t talked to Bora since then and she knows she crossed a line she shouldn’t have, she realized that right after Minji stopped the argument between them. The director left right after telling the CEO that she’ll be redacting the official statement, so Yubin didn’t have the chance to properly apologize back then.

  
Bora and she are friends. They went through a lot together, they were a family, Dreamcatcher is a family. So, what happened? Why the producer decided that money and success was more important than her friend’s feelings? Not so long time ago, she was encouraging the redhead to make a move on Siyeon, but at Minji’s office she let fear take over her words. Since when is she like that? The director sacrificed a lot for the company, for the members. She sacrificed her passion, her dancing, just for her. And how did Yubin thank her? By crushing her new source of happiness, the woman that is inside the recording room, singing.

  
\- Siyeon.

  
\- Yeah?

  
\- For whom is this song? – the producer doesn’t hesitate to ask.

  
\- W- what do you mean? – she stutters on the mic.

  
\- Is it for Bora?

  
The singer becomes quiet for a moment, looking through the glass that separates her from the other woman.

  
\- Yes.

  
\- Does she know?

  
Seeing that the conversation is going to take more than a few questions about the song, Siyeon decides to exit the room and goes to sit next to Yubin, who drifts her eyes away from her and stares at the now empty room.

  
\- She doesn’t.

  
\- Are you going to tell her?

  
\- No.

  
\- Why not?

  
\- Because… - the black-haired woman frowns – I didn’t know how I felt before writing the song, I’m still not sure about it. I don’t want to put that weight on her, you know. Plus, she seems busy these days, we haven’t talked at all since… since we came together to the company few days ago. Not even through texts. So, I’d rather figure it out by myself than bothering her when she has all this work stress…

  
\- I get it – Yubin says, clearing her throat hoping for the lump that has formed there to go away – But I haven’t seen her this hooked for anyone before. She truly likes you, maybe she needs some time to realize that better. You know, work has been a bit… overwhelming lately. Whenever we get through this bump, she will be able to take her time to think about her feelings.

  
Siyeon nods, her eyes studying the producer’s profile.

  
\- Is the “bump” related to the statement the company released?

  
The other woman just nods, her eyes still fixed anywhere but on Siyeon.

  
\- What happened? Are you guys in trouble? – the singer asks cautiously.

  
\- One of our biggest shareholders left and then he sold some private information related to Yooh to the media.

  
\- How- Wha-?! Can he do that without any punishment?

  
\- He can do whatever he wants, he is rich. We will sue him for defamation, but he still has more money than we do, so… - Yubin huffs, laying back on her chair – But we kind of have a plan. That’s why everyone is working like crazy, even Yooh, trying to take advantage of the leaked info.

  
\- I should check on Yooh… I’ve been so deep in my own world that I didn’t check on her in a while…

  
\- Text her, it will be easier than reaching her in person – the producer slowly sits up and looks for the first time at the singer – Let’s record the ballad and finish for the day. You have to meet with your manager after we are done, we better not keep him waiting.

  
The ballad gives a whole different vibe. It’s like is made to heal people’s heart with Siyeon’s voice. The piano fills her eardrums and the singer’s voice takes her on a trip through her consciousness, holding her tight when it’s dark in there. Yubin smiles lightly as the song comes to an end. This song is definitely not like the title track. It sounds more like a message of encouragement, but it has no destination. It’s meant to reach whoever needs to hear it, whoever that is in need of some self-love and will to stand up again.

  
As the black-haired woman finishes singing, they proceed to do some arrangements to both songs until time runs out and Jin, the manager, knocks on the production booth’s door to pick Siyeon up for her next scheduled activity. However, it doesn’t take much time to finish it and the woman is relieved that she can go home earlier today.

  
She is texting Gahyeon about their dinner plans while waiting for the elevator when someone stands next to her.

  
\- Long time no see – she hears.

  
She looks up from her phone screen and sees the redhead standing next to her with her bag hanging from her shoulder and her blazer hanging from her other arm.

  
\- Bora – she greets.

  
\- Are you going home?

  
\- Yeah. The songs are recorded already, and I’ve finished my other stuff pretty soon, so Jin let me go earlier today.

  
\- Sounds great – the director says while entering the elevator that just opened its doors – Your debut is around the corner…

  
\- Yep, not nervous at all about that.

  
Both women chuckle at Siyeon’s words and, as the elevator gets to the main floor, Bora speaks up again:

  
\- I don’t know if you are aware of the problems that we are having with Yooh’s solo release, but something happened and we are super busy. I’m not ignoring you or anything like that, I’m just -

  
\- Don’t worry. – the singer interrupts, faking a smile that doesn't reach her eyes - I kind of guessed that when I saw the statement and then Yubin explained the whole thing to me.

  
\- Yubin did? – she asks stunned.

  
\- Yep.

  
\- That woman, seriously … - the director chuckles.

  
They get to the main gate of the building and, before they walk in different directions, the singer gathers some courage, setting her fears of being rejected aside, and asks the other woman:

  
\- Do you want to have dinner at my place? Gahyeon is cooking, but if it’s way too bad, we can order something.

  
Bora is a bit surprised that Siyeon actually wants to spend time with her after days not talking to each other, but she nods, turning to walk next to her towards the bus stop:

  
\- Thank you for inviting me.

  
\- You don’t have to thank me.

  
\- I do. I mean, we had sex and then I basically disappeared. I wasn’t expecting you to forgive me, let alone be this chill about it.

  
\- Well… Not gonna lie, I was a bit upset about it, but I understand that you have stuff to take care of - she pretends to shrug it off.

  
Before the redhead can answer, the bus arrives and they both get in. The vehicle is crowded, so they stand awkwardly in the middle of it, Siyeon grabbing the bar above them. When the bus starts moving, Bora loses her balance for a moment, but the singer is quick to hold her, circling her waist with her free arm. They stay like that the whole ride until they get off and, instead of pulling away, the smaller woman decides to grab the other one’s arm as they walk towards her place. Siyeon stiffens at first, but after a few seconds, the tension on her shoulders goes away. They stay quiet, comfortably enjoying each other’s company until they reach Siyeon’s apartment.

  
\- I’m home, Gah! – the singer announces – Bora is here too!

  
From the other side of the small corridor appears the little sister, with a big wood spoon in her hand:

  
\- Bora? – Gahyeon sees the woman waving shyly and she smiles at her – Come in!

  
The two women enter the small apartment and head towards the kitchen, where the third woman is busy trying to keep her food from burning. While the redhead is shyly standing on one side of the room, the singer opens the fridge and takes out three beers:

  
\- Here, for you – she says as she hands one of the beers to the director.

  
\- Dinner is almost ready, so make yourself comfortable Bora, my sister and I will take care of everything!

  
When the little sister finishes cooking and the other sister places the dishes, the three women sit on the floor around the low table next to the couch.

  
\- So, how have you been, Gahyeon? It’s been a while since last time we met.

  
\- True – she nods.

She grabs her empty beer and signals her sister with a pout to grab another round from the fridge for them.

  
\- Jesus, you are too young to be drinking like this, Gah… - the singer complains lowly as she stands up and does it anyways.

  
\- Thank you, sis – she winks and then continues to talk to the director – Anyways, college got me pretty busy until recently, so I’m really sorry I couldn’t go to Yoohyeon’s pre-release party. But, hey, at least you two had fun without me-

  
\- GAHYEON! – Siyeon, who is putting the new three beers on the table, flusters at her sister’s words.

  
\- What? There’s nothing wrong with having fun.

  
Bora, who was about to have one of the beers that the singer has brought, is frozen by the comment for a moment before laughing out loud at how cheeky she is. It spreads between the other two women, filling the small room with loud laughter.

  
\- God, you truly are one of a kind… - the redhead says as she calms down a little – And yes, we had our fun, but you were still missed.

  
\- I know, I’m always missed – Gahyeon smirks – How is your leg doing, by the way? My sister told me about your accident…

  
\- Oh, it’s way better. I feel more confident about my recovery than last time because of the therapy.

  
\- Were you injured before?

  
\- … Yeah – she answers, not sure how to go on with this topic – I got injured when I was in Dreamcatcher, but I didn’t take care of it, which made everything lot harder.

  
\- How did you…? Did you fall or…?

  
The singer, who was distracted with the beer in her hands, is now paying full attention to the conversation going on in front of her as her sister struggles to keep her curious-self tamed and the redhead thinks her answer to not let her down.

  
\- I… someone pushed me, and I fell. It was worse than when I fell in the shower, though.

  
\- What? – Siyeon mutters, not expecting that answer.

  
\- Yes, some dude got angry and I was in his way... – Bora shrugs it off because she doesn’t want to get further into it – Anyways, I’m better now – her eyes travel towards the singer, who is sitting across from her – You have been very helpful. I wouldn’t have had the strength to go through all this again without you helping me to stand up on my feet again.

  
Hearing this, Siyeon smiles lightly at her, fixing her gaze on hers. The younger woman, who has been watching the two of them interact during the whole night, decides to break the ice completely and, after taking a sip of her beer, raises her voice:

  
\- Did anything else happen between you two?

  
And there is silence. With the question, a slightly more tense atmosphere is created as the two women try to find the exact words to answer. On the one hand, the black-haired woman wants to be honest with her sister, but on the other hand she understands that Bora doesn't want to talk about her intimacy. Or at least that's what she thought until suddenly she hears the redhead say:

  
\- We had sex.

  
\- DUDE!

  
\- What? She’s a grown up, she probably has talked about sex before – the director chuckles as she sees how panicked is Siyeon.

  
\- YOU HAD SEX WITH SUA AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?! You traitor, I told you about Dahyun!

  
\- C’mon, you can’t compare your first female crush to THIS – Siyeon huffs.

  
\- WAS IT WHEN YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU WERE COMING HOME FOR DINNER AND DIDN’T TEXT ME UNTIL NEXT MORNING?! – her sister continues, ignoring the singer.

  
\- WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

  
\- Sis, I thought you and I were honest to each other – Gahyeon finally lowers her voice as she pouts.

  
\- Gah… I- I was trying to figure my mind out - she tenses up a bit, knowing that Bora is right in front of her and she doesn't want her to hear her thoughts on that yet - I’m sorry I kept you in the dark…

  
The director is amused with the relationship the sisters have. She knows that Siyeon is very closed when it comes to expressing what she thinks or feels, but she didn’t expect that the only one with whom she is 100% open would be her little sister.

  
\- Can I ask you something? – Bora looks at Gahyeon, who is still arguing with the other woman.

  
\- S-Sure… - she becomes shy at the seriousness in her tone.

  
\- Why are you not grossed out by the idea of your sister and me doing… it?

  
\- Why would I be?

  
\- I don’t know, people don’t usually like seeing two persons form the same gender walking hand by hand, let alone kissing or having sex…

  
\- Well… - the younger woman hums as she thinks deeply about the question – When my sister came out to me, I was a bit shocked, not gonna lie. But I love her, so it didn’t take long for me to break that “wall”. Our parents are not very open-minded and seeing them judging Siyeon just by the way she dresses or because “she is always single”, made me want to protect and support her, no matter what. We became closer and we started sharing everything, our ups and downs. So… We know every part of our lives, that’s why I’m not grossed out at all.

  
\- You are not grossed out by Siyeon or by two women being together?

  
\- I’m not grossed out by anything that involves love – she states – Even if it’s just for fun, you are not hurting anyone. So why would that be wrong? Nowadays people are so used to see violence on tv, but apparently they can’t see two people kissing… Isn’t that twisted?

  
The redhead falls silent at her argument, a small smile playing on her face as she recalls a similar conversation between Minji and her. She remembers how her friend cried because she loved Yoohyeon, but their situation didn't let them be together. She had to calm her down many nights until she fell asleep crying, repeating in her ear that there was nothing wrong with her, that the problem were the people who hated them for no reason and pushed so many others to live hiding, or not to live at all, than to let them be who they are. Gahyeon, a woman younger than her, carries that same philosophy and the director feels calmer knowing that generations like hers and those that follow will be able to change their reality in the near future.

  
\- You are right – she reaches the woman to place a hand on her arm, squeezing it lightly – Thank you for being like this. I’m sure your sister feels very lucky to have you by her side.

  
\- I do. She is the best – Siyeon confirms, as she moves from her spot to circle Gahyeon’s shoulders with one arm to pull her closer and kiss her on the cheek.

  
\- Why do I feel like I have two mothers right now? – the younger one chuckles.

  
\- Shut up – the other two say at the same time.

  
The three of them continue to talk about how the black-haired woman had to hide her shoulder all these days and how it hurt to touch it, while they finish their beers. The first to stand up is said woman, who tells the others to continue their conversation while she cleans the dishes.

  
\- So… are you staying tonight? – Gahyeon asks.

  
\- I- I wasn’t planning to… - Bora mumbles.

  
\- Why not? Stay! – the woman beams - But please, don’t be too noisy, I have class early tomorrow morning.

  
And without letting the other amused woman answer, the sister gets up and walks to her room chanting “good night” to both women. After a couple of minutes, Siyeon sits down again on the spot she had left empty and looks at the other woman:

  
\- It’s late, Bora. You can take my bed if you are more comfortable that way, I don’t mind sleeping on the couch - she offers shyly.

  
\- Why would you sleep on the couch? – she frowns.

  
\- Because I don’t want to assume anything, and I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable.

  
\- I’m not uncomfortable with you.

  
\- But… I don’t know, I thought you might be a bit… since… I mean, we are just friends, I’d totally understand if you fee–

  
\- Siyeon – the redhead cuts her rambling.

  
\- Yeah?

  
Bora doesn't answer. She simply gets up, walks over to the other woman, and sits on her lap, her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist. The singer's hands unconsciously move towards the redhead's hips, placing them there and keeping her on place.

  
\- I’m not uncomfortable around you. I disappeared because I had loads of work to do. You don’t have to worry. Just relax and enjoy our time together.

  
She might have promised she wouldn’t distract the black-haired woman, but they are not at work at the moment, right? So, she leans in and kisses the singer softly, the latter not answering the kiss back until she feels the tip of Bora’s tongue asking for permission to deepen it. They stay like that for a few minutes, tasting each other, hands tangled in dark locks and pulling at her jeans, making up for all these days.

  
\- Whenever you feel like you want to talk, just do it – the director says when they part, grabbing Siyeon’s chin between her fingers – I’m all ears and I want us to be honest with each other. Am I being clear?

  
\- Yes – she whispers.

  
\- Good.

  
They keep making out until the redhead stands up and pulls Siyeon by her t-shirt, who stands and walks them to her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These days have been full of surprises: mamamoo's comeback, meeting people i haven't met for years, being able to sleep an average number of hours... so yeah, I'm feeling happier ^^
> 
> btw, idk if this chapter looks messy... I wrote it in 3 days? or so, and I didn't check it out. I'm open to feedbacks :D
> 
> Again, thank you for reaching me through social media!!! You all are so nice and kind TT


	22. R.o.S.E. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiyoo chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// sex at the beginning, if you want to avoid it, please start reading below the line
> 
> tw2// homophobia

Hot water slides down Yoohyeon's body, the skin on her shoulders red from the collision of the water jets on them. Although the woman has decided to take a shower to relax, her body doesn’t seem to want to release any of the stress that has been accumulating in recent days, which makes all her muscles seem more fatigued than they actually are. She doesn't know how long she's been in the shower, but it must be long, because she hears that Minji is already up, her footsteps approaching the bathroom. The gray-haired woman doesn’t turn to see what her girlfriend is doing despite the noise behind her, but she gets startled when she notices Minji's hands caressing her waist as she walks into the shower with her:

  
\- What are you doing up so early? – the purple-haired woman says as she leaves some kisses over her reddish shoulders.

  
\- I couldn’t sleep anymore… - she answers, leaning against her body.

  
\- Everything is going to be fine, trust me – her girlfriend assures her while hugging her from the back, her front pressing against Yoohyeon’s back.

  
\- What if I slip during the performance?

  
\- You won’t slip.

  
\- You know I’m clumsy, babe.

  
\- I know, but I also know how hard you’ve been working. You won’t slip.

  
A small sigh leaves the woman's lips, dropping her head back and resting it on Minji's shoulder. The latter turns her face slightly towards her, her lips lightly brushing the gray-haired’s exposed neck:

  
\- Do you want me to help you to relieve some stress? – she mumbles against her skin.

  
Yoohyeon simply nods and Minji bites her softly in response. One of the hands that were encircling her girlfriend’s waist travels upward caressing her chest, while the other hand goes down her abdomen and covers the apex of her thighs. The taller one trembles with excitement, her fingers tangling in her purple locks and her free hand resting on the other woman's teasing hand. Minji’s tongue tastes her wet skin and her teeth grazes her earlobe, while her fingers travel further between Yoohyeon’s legs, gaining a small tug on her hair.

  
\- Your voice is so beautiful, Yooh… - she whispers while leaning in to catch her girlfriend’s lips and swallow her increasing moans.

  
The gray-haired one shudders when she feels her climax closer and her girlfriend secures her with the hand that was on her breasts and keeps her from falling down as her body spams when an electric wave travels through her muscles and spine.

  
\- God, Minji… - Yoohyeon snorts, turning around in her arms and grabbing her nape to bring her closer and crash their lips together.

  
The kiss starts harshly, but it evolves into a soft make out, hands caressing lovingly every inch of their bodies. They both finish showering after several minutes and start getting ready for the day.

* * *

  
\- So… - Yoohyeon’s starts, fixing her shirt.

  
\- Yeah? – the CEO says as she is applying her eyeliner, her eyes fixed on the mirror.

  
\- Are you coming today with me? – she asks lowly.

  
Minji takes a moment to finish and turns to face her girlfriend, a sympathetic smile, yet sad, not reaching her eyes:

  
\- I’m sorry, babe. I’ve some business to take care of outside the city.

  
\- Oh… I understand, I know you are pretty busy since Mr. Park left – she tries to shrug it off – We can watch the re-play tonight together.

  
\- Of course, we can do that – she approaches her and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.

  
The taller woman nods and her girlfriend pecks her before patting her butt:

  
\- You are going to slay that stage, I’m 100% sure.

  
Actually, the CEO isn’t busy with company stuff. She has taken the day off, telling Bora to please try to cover her as much as possible in her absence. Minji has been planning this day since she first listened to “Secret Love Song” and she’s as nervous or more nervous than Yoohyeon, even though she tries to hide it. It pains her to lie to her girlfriend about her plans for today, but she needs the tall woman to focus on her solo and knows that if she tells her what she is going to do, her girlfriend would actually slip on stage thinking about it.

  
So, when they arrive with her car to the company’s parking, before they exit the vehicle, she grabs Yoohyeon’s shirt and kisses her deep, exhaling through her nose all her tension.

  
\- I love you – she whispers when they part.

  
\- I love you too, Minji – the gray-haied woman smiles fondly.

  
She accompanies her girlfriend to the company floor, saying goodbye to her with a big hug before Yoohyeon leaves with the staff who will accompany her on her activities today. Minji walks to the director's office to leave her the documents she needs to attend the appointments that the CEO has scheduled today and before she can knock on the door as usual, the redhead appears behind her:

  
\- Hey, are you here to drop some stuff?

  
\- Yes, the documents you might need today.

  
\- Nice – she smiles as she unlocks her office and leads the purple-haired one in.

  
\- Mr. Kim will meet you today, he wants to, I quote, “manage my stocks in the company”.

  
\- Another shareholder pulling out? – Bora huffs.

  
\- I don’t know… Let’s hope for the best…

  
Her friend nods as she reaches for the papers that Minji is handing her.

  
\- Are you driving then? – the director asks as she organizes all the documents.

  
\- Just to the train station.

  
\- Don’t you want someone to drive you there?

  
\- It’s okay Bora, you all have stuff to do: Handong is busy with her photoshoots, Yoohyeon is going to Mubank, Yubin is busy with Siyeon’s debut, you are busy with your and my meetings… Plus, I want to do this by myself.

  
\- Well, if you need anything, call me. I can pick you up tonight or whenever you come back.

  
\- Thank you – the purple-haired woman smiles sweetly.

  
With that, Minji waves as she leaves her office, heading back to the garage and starting her car. She drives to the station and catches a train to Daejeon, where she would get off and take a taxi to her parents' house.

  
Yoohyeon is already in the building where she is going to do her first live performance as a solo artist, the makeup artists doing their job while she sits staring at the mirror. She remembers how it used to be in the waiting room before going out to record their performances with her former members, the room full of laughter, screams and noise. There was no time to feel nervous, as the members kept her so distracted that it was impossible for her to focus on the moment. However, the situation now is totally different: the woman is surrounded by staff and, although she knows them, she doesn’t share the same bond as with her members, and she can’t help feeling the weight of her stress.

  
\- Yoohyeon? – a member of the production crew knocks on the door of the waiting room.

  
\- Yes!

  
\- You are next – he says as he opens the door.

  
\- Okay! – she answers, the staff in the room getting her ready to go on the stage.

  
She goes up the small stairs that lead to the high platform where she is supposed to perform, a small crowd greeting her with their lightsticks. She can see several Dreamcatcher’s merch and lightscticks between them and that makes her feel more nervous: would she be able to match their expectations on her solo? Her fans, Insomnias, have been there all the way and they have seen her grow as an artist, but she can’t expect them to stick with her all the way if they don’t like her as a solo artist, right? She waves at them, smiling despite her nervous state. She hopes she can make everyone proud; she hopes she can make Minji proud.

  
On the other side of the country, the CEO is already inside her parents’ house, her mother serving them some tea as they all sit in the dining room:

  
\- Sweetie, do you want some cookies with your tea? I bought some when you told us you were coming over - her mother offers.

  
\- I’m fine, mom, I’m not hungry at all – she smiles as she answers.

  
\- We are so happy that you came to visit! We saw on the news that your company has been busy, so we were surprised that you actually got time to come – her father beams.

  
\- Well, I took the day off because I wanted to talk to you about something important – Minji clarifies, her eyes looking at the cup of tea trying to gather the courage she needs.

  
On the stage, everything is pitch black until a spotlight illuminates Yoohyeon in the center. As the first notes begin to play, she opens her eyes to the crowd and sings:

  
_Blooming white, colorless._  
_At your fingertips, color seeps into me._  
_For long periods, meaningless blooming days._  
_Dreamlike words saying they'll eventually come true._  
_Obvious words that everyone speaks_  
_disappear into the pouring raindrops._  
_Even as I bloom alone without a shred of wind by me,_  
_now I won't be lonely I made my choice._

  
\- What is it, honey? – Minji’s mother asks worriedly at the straight face that her daughter portrays.

  
\- Mom, dad, I- - she stutters, her hands shaking and her words getting stuck in her throat.

  
_In the memories I have left, I am the color_  
_My name, withering away, faded_  
_Oh, tell me_  
_A miracle just for me_  
_Again I promise,_  
_even if I get forgotten in the falling petals_  
_that fragrant lingering name_  
_stays here forever,_  
_Rose Blue._

  
\- Minji, is it the company? Do you need money? – her father also worries.

  
\- No, no. The company is fine, we are doing fine – she clears her throat.

  
\- Are you sure? Some talk-shows were discussing the other day about Yoohyeon dating scandal and her songs… You can tell us, we won’t say anything… - her mother tries to comfort her.

  
_I tried to erase the scent I touched,_  
_but wiping it only spreads it around and nothing more_  
_Bury it and live on_  
_Yeah, I got used to it_  
_The future, made by adding the present_  
_to the world past._  
_Even the shining past season of yesterday_  
_hold it in my heart_  
_seems to grow ever further._  
_My shining days._  
_Scarlet, it seeps in_  
_the countless days I had_  
_scatters in the soft winds blowing._  
_Only now, my world grows clearer by itself_  
_I wasn’t wrong, it was my choice._

  
The CEO’s leg bounces nervously as she tries to fight back the tears that are forming in her eyes:

  
\- Well… Yoohyeon dating scandal is true, even if we denied it – she voices out as clear as she can.

  
\- Oh, sweetie, but there’s nothing wrong with her dating, right? She is not in an idol group anymore… - her father tries to calm her.

  
_Filling you, I am that magic color._  
_That brilliant, no, blinding._  
_Rose Blue._  
_It can't be compared to anyone_  
_Just me._  
_Without noticing, you'll fall for it, with me, as I am_  
_Beautiful, even the falling leaves are_  
_Namelessly etched in memory._

  
\- The problem is that- -she swallows hard before saying – I’m the one dating Yoohyeon.

  
_In the memories I have left, I am the color_  
_That name, withering away, faded_  
_Oh Tell me_

  
Only then, the CEO has the courage to look up at her parents, that are staring back shocked at her words.

  
_A miracle just for me_  
_Again I promise_  
_Even if I get forgotten in the falling petals_  
_That fragrant lingering name_  
_stays here forever_  
_Rose Blue._

  
\- What are you saying? – her mother mutters.

  
\- I am dating Yoohyeon. We’ve been living together for three years now.

  
The purple-haired woman can see how her mother’s eyes are getting redder and wetter as time passes, and a tired huff from her father makes her eyes get low and fixed again on her cup of tea. She feels how the mood has changed to an environment full of tension and distress.

  
\- Are you serious? Is this real? – he asks.

  
\- Yes, I’m totally serious – she states.

  
It’s then when her mother breaks down crying, hands covering her face. Her cries fill the quiet room and the noises are just disrupted when she decides to speak up:

  
\- What did we do wrong? You are a beautiful woman, you can get any man you want! – she sobs.

  
\- I love her, mom. I don’t want to be with anyone else… - Minji sniffs, trying to keep her emotions under control.

  
\- You can love her as a friend, but she won’t ever be a good partner. There’s NO way two women can be together! – she barks at her daughter, her fists hitting the table.

  
\- Mom, I-

  
\- DON’T CALL ME THAT – her mother interrupts – MY DAUGHTER WOULD NEVER DATE A WOMAN. NEVER.

  
Saying this, her mother stands up and leaves the room, a loud bang traveling through the house’s walls as she closes the door to their bedroom. Minji is left with her father, her tears now running freely through her face and her jaw clenching as she tries to mute the sobs that are coming through her throat. She knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, but it hurts anyways. She loves her family, she loves her mother, and hearing those words felt like stabs digging through her heart. She doesn’t even dare to look at her father, fearing to get the same treatment as she got from her mother. But, suddenly, she feels a hand on her shoulder:

  
\- Do you really love her?

  
\- Dad… - her voice cracks as tears fall uncontrollably down her cheeks – Of course I love her, I’ll do anything for her…

  
\- Okay – he pats her head – It’s okay then. If you love her, there’s nothing we can say to change your mind… Even if it’s hard to understand, as long as you are happy, we are fine with it.

  
\- But mom-

  
\- Your mom will need some time to get used to it, but, please, don’t take her words seriously. She loves you, no matter what – he smiles.

  
The purple-haired woman lets her father hug her as she buries her face in his chest, sobbing loud. It’s done. She’ll never have to lie to her family again. She’ll never have to hide the woman she loves from them.

  
As Yoohyeon finishes her performance, heavy breathing due to the choreography, she waves at her fans and goes back to her changing room. The woman feels as if a weight has been lifted from her chest, her body lighter and less uptight. The fans seemed happy with the performance and there have been no accidents on stage. Now, she just has to record a relay-dance and she can go home with her girlfriend.

  
When she finishes all her activities, the gray-haired woman arrives at the company accompanied by the staff, to whom she says goodbye, and goes to Minji's office. However, to her surprise, the woman is not in her office. Shouldn't the CEO be in her office working at this hour, based on what she told her? The tall woman decides to go look for her in the meeting rooms near the office, but they are all with the lights off. Finally, a bit restless after not finding her nowhere, she decides to look for the director at her office and ask her:

  
\- Hey, Bora – she greets after knocking on her door and getting the cue to get in.

  
\- Hey, Yooh! I’ve watched your stage! – the redhead approaches her and hugs her – You did great! It was amazing!

  
A smile appears on the younger woman face at the congratulatory words from her former member:

  
\- Thank you, I was a bit nervous, to be honest.

  
\- I bet you were, but you killed it! And people cheered hard for you!

  
\- Yeah, I could even hear them through my in-ear – she chuckles lightly – Anyways… Do you know where is Minji? She told me to meet her here when I was finished, but she’s nowhere…

  
Bora face straightens and she sighs quietly before answering:

  
\- She just got in the train back to Seoul.

  
\- Did she have meetings outside the city?

  
\- I-… - the redhead takes a deep breath – She went to Daejeon to see her parents.

  
\- Oh… I thought she had a few meetings to attend today… Did something happen? Are her parents okay?

  
\- Yeah, they are fine… She just didn’t want you to worry since today was your first solo stage…

  
\- What do you mean, Bora?

  
\- She went to her parents’ to tell them she likes women. Actually, she went there to tell them that she is dating you.

  
\- WHAT? WHY?

  
\- She wanted to take that step. That’s what she told me. But you should talk to her. I can’t tell you anything else, Yooh… - she smiles sadly.

  
The gray-haired woman huffs, her hand massaging her forehead as emotions take over her mind. Why hasn't she told her any of this? What have happened? Did it go well? Has her family accepted it? Will she be okay?

  
\- Yooh – Bora takes her out of her mind – Go home and wait for her there. She will need a huge hug and cuddles whenever she gets there.

  
\- Okay…

  
The woman does as the director has advised her and asks a staff member to drive her home. Once inside, she leaves her things on a kitchen chair and walks into the living room, turning on the tv and flopping onto the sofa. She doesn't know for how long she's been staring blankly at the screen and her head muting the sounds from the speakers, but, suddenly, Yoohyeon gets startled out when she hears a broken voice in the doorway of the living room:

  
\- Yooh… - Minji greets, her eyes puffy.

  
\- Babe… - she answers – Why didn’t you tell me?

  
\- I-… I didn’t want you-…

  
The woman starts sobbing again, burying her face between her hands. Seeing her like that, her girlfriend gets up and runs to hug her tightly.

  
\- I would have gone with you, even if I had to wait outside, you silly.

  
\- I-I needed to this by my o-own… I-I don’t- I don’t want to hide us anymore-

  
Yoohyeon lets out a broken sigh at those words, a small shudder running through her body.

  
\- How did it go, babe? Do you want to talk about it?

  
\- Can we- Can we just go to bed? – she asks, her hands gripping the other woman’s shirt, trying to be impossibly closer to her.

  
The tall woman nods silently, placing a kiss on her temple, and before releasing her hug and walking to their room, she whispers in her ear:

  
\- I love you, Minji. I really do. You are the most precious human I’ve ever known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> I really had a hard time writing this chapter, because it was kinda emotionally exhaustive. Thankfully, I've never been in such a situation, but some friends did and seeing them suffer and struggling it's not easy either... 
> 
> Also, was it confusing to read?
> 
> You all have been reaching me AGAIN on twt and curiouscat. I want you to know that you can reach me even just to chat, I like meeting new people! 
> 
> Y para los hispano hablantes también: habladme por privado si queréis ^^ vamos a ser amiguis ;)
> 
> PS: WAIT, IS IT TODAY COMING OUT DAY? WOW


	23. Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minji realizes how she screwed it up. Mr Kim appears with a new guest. Siyeon puts the missing pieces together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// mention of sex and nudity
> 
> Song: Flower, by Code Kunst

The sound of an incoming message awakens Bora, who lazily opens her eyes. It must not be too late since the alarm she had set last night has not yet sounded and the sun has barely risen. So, while cursing the person who has woken her up, she stretches a little to reach the bedside table, but her movements are limited by the arms that surround her naked waist.

  
\- Siyeon, I need to check my phone… - she whispers.

  
The singer, whose face is buried in the nape of the director, groans in protest but lets her go, turning around and lying on her back. The redhead smiles unconsciously at that as she moves to check her cell phone. It may be her third or fourth night with her, but strangely Bora is very comfortable around her. She doesn't know if it's because they already had a certain degree of friendship before crossing that line or if it's because Siyeon's way of being is enough to make her feel carefree and happy. The way the black-haired woman treats her is perhaps what she has always tried to get out of Jae: a person who listens to her, who is there when she feels bad, who is also there when she is happy, who is not selfish and with whom everything has flowed naturally from the beginning. Her phone beeps again, snapping her out of her sleepy state and urging her to go and pay attention to the device.

  
\- Who is awake before the sun is even up? – Siyeon mumbles without opening her eyes and stretching her arms above her head.

  
\- It’s Minji. She needs me at the office by 9, apparently… - she huffs, knowing she has barely an hour and a half to go home, change and be there on time – Her useless gay ass could have texted me this last night…

  
\- Maybe something came up…

  
The singer finally opens her eyes to look at the other woman, who is sitting on the edge of her bed with her back to her and focusing on her phone screen. Siyeon studies the sight in front of her, her eyes traveling from the redhead's shoulder line, following her spine, and ending on her bottom, some marks adorning the white skin. She moves, scooting closer to the other woman, as she sits up a bit and kisses one of the reddish spots on her shoulder. Bora leans into the kiss, humming and closing her eyes, letting her eyes to drift away from her phone.

  
\- You can shower here – the black-haired one mutters against her skin.

  
\- I don’t have any clothes here, Siyeon… - she whispers, turning a bit and looking for the other’s face.

  
She pecks the singer’s nose and chuckles when she scrunches it.

  
\- Then – Siyeon continues – I’ll see you at the company, right?

  
\- Well… I’ll be a bit busy… - she tries to take that idea away from the other’s mind, the argument she had with Yubin replaying in her head – But we can meet outside the company whenever we are done with our schedules.

  
The black-haired woman nods at this and gets kissed again, this time on the lips. However, she can’t help the sigh that comes out as she looks how Bora gathers her clothes around the room and gets ready to leave.

  
\- Is there anything that’s bothering you? – she suddenly speaks up, disrupting the quietness.

  
\- Huh?

  
\- You have been a bit out lately. Normally we bump into each other a lot when we are at the company, but these past days I haven’t seen you there at all – she sits up properly, covering herself with the sheets, still not as comfortable as the other woman is in her skin – I know you have this shareholder issue, but I got the feeling that there’s something else… Do you feel like this – she points between them - is wrong?

  
\- What? No, God, no. Everything is fine, Siyeon. Don’t worry. I’m busier than usual, that’s why we don’t see each other a lot – the director answers as she pulls her pants up.

  
When she looks up at her, Bora can see how Siyeon’s face doesn’t show any hint of buying her excuse, so she climbs to the bed and crawls awkwardly to her, trying not to hurt her knee any further. Without saying anything, she positions herself between her legs and leans in to kiss her once again. But this time, the kiss lasts longer, the singer's hand that grasped the sheet to cover her nakedness moves to get tangled in the reddish hair of the other woman and not let her go. Bora's hand rests on the bare cleavage and caresses the skin there shyly as she sighs in the gentle kiss. It's true that Siyeon is only trying to help, but she doesn't want to burden her with more problems and worries than she already has. Plus, the woman is friends with Yubin and telling her that she and the producer have not spoken for many days would put her in an uncomfortable situation. So, with the kiss, she tries to make a silent promise to her: when she fixes her problems, she will tell her everything. Every-thing. Even the smallest detail. They may not be a couple, nor may she know what she wants from Siyeon, but one thing is clear: the last thing the redhead wants is not to be honest with a person with whom she shares moments of intimacy.

  
\- I’ll text you, okay? – the director says as she breaks the kiss.

  
It works. The woman seems much calmer, so Bora smiles at her tenderly and finishes getting ready to go to her apartment, which is in a neighborhood not far from the one she is in now. The redhead arrives no more than 15 minutes later, her step lighter than a few weeks ago thanks to her arduous therapy, and she manages to have enough time to shower, get dressed and go out again to the nearest metro station.  
When she gets to the company building there’re still a few minutes to go up and leave her things in her office. As she enters the elevator, she checks herself in the mirror inside to make sure she is dressed appropriately for today's meetings. The elevator beeps when it reaches the company floor and Bora turns to get out of it and walk down the large hallway that crosses the entire floor. However, before reaching her office, she runs into Yoohyeon, who just looks at her with a small smile on her face and nods, without stopping to greet her despite the fact that the director has stopped her march. This surprises her, since the day before the taller woman talked to her and seemed fine. What happened? She tries to shake it off and resumes her way to her office, drops her stuff there and heads off to Minji’s office.

  
\- Hey – she greets as she gets in – What’s up? Why all the urge to get me here this soon?

  
When she sees her friend's face, she knows something is wrong. The CEO looks like she's been hit by a bus, her eyes red and her face puffy.

  
\- Is there anything wrong, Minji?

  
The purple-haired woman huffs, signaling the redhead to go to the small couch on the other side of the room as she gets up to join her friend.

  
\- I screwed it up.

  
Bora hums as she connected the dots. When Minji told her that she was going to go see her parents and take the big step, the director didn't want to intervene in her decision, but there was something she didn't like about her plan: keeping Yoohyeon in the dark. Bora is a strong defender of honesty when in a relationship, since the only way to get along with the other person is by communicating. That's why she and Jae broke up, and that's why when the CEO said not to tell anyone anything, she thought it was wrong. But it's not her relationship or something she should be getting her nose into. As a friend, the only thing she could do was support and help her. And now the Minji in front of her reminds her of the Minji that broke up with the love of her life for the sake of the group, and she doesn't know if she was right to stay quiet.

  
\- Is it Yooh? – she gets a nod – Did she get angry because you didn’t tell her anything?

  
\- How-

  
\- I’m not dumb.

  
The woman runs a hand through her hair before speaking up:

  
\- When I came home last night, Yooh was like… zoned out? She was staring blankly at the tv… It was like she wasn’t there at all. And then, when she noticed me, her face changed, and she went back to the Yooh we all know. She hugged me and we cuddled, and everything was going fine … But this morning, while we were having breakfast, she had the same expression as last night, like she was deep in her thoughts, and when I asked if everything was okay, she said she wanted to talk and… - she takes a deep breath – She said that she is thankful and happy that I took that step for us, but that she was disappointed that I didn’t tell her.

  
\- And she is right, Minji… - Bora places a hand on her leg, squeezing it – Coming out to your parents is fine, but you didn’t only come out, you dragged Yoohyeon with you. Do you understand that? You kicked Yooh out of the closet without telling her-

  
\- But she always says that she wants to be free and be like a normal couple-

  
\- Yes, but that doesn’t mean you are allowed to make her come out without asking her before doing it.

  
Minji becomes quiet as those words sink further in her mind. It's true: she could have literally told her parents that she liked girls without dragging the other woman out of the closet. The CEO thought that she was doing the right thing because she believed that she was allowing the two of them to finally be free, but she completely disregarded Yoohyeon and made that decision alone.

  
\- Minji… - the director reaches out to hug her friend who is beginning to cry again – You’ve always been a great leader, but you truly suck at communicating your feelings.

  
\- I do – she chuckles sadly.

  
\- Did you apologize?

  
She shakes her head, dry tears on her cheeks.

  
\- Let her do her thing today at The Show and talk to her when you both are at home, okay?

  
\- Okay… Yeah, that sounds about right – Minji sniffs – By the way, the meeting is a bit later-

  
\- I know. I did schedule that meeting yesterday… - she eyes her friend – You literally woke me up to talk, didn’t you?

  
\- Maybe?

  
\- Well, I’m happy you did, even though I’m literally dying now.

  
\- Bora, it isn’t like it was 3 am-

  
\- Dude, I barely slept 3 hours!

  
\- Why? Didn’t you go home at 9pm yesterday?

  
The director’s eyes widen as she realizes the mistake she just made.

  
\- I- Uh… I did, certainly. Yep.

  
\- … YOU DIDN’T?

  
\- I-

  
\- Omg, Bora, are you back with Jae?

  
\- What? No!

  
\- Then?

  
She huffs, defeated. The redhead hasn’t told Minji that she’s been sleeping with Siyeon all these past days and she’s afraid that the CEO will be angry for not telling her and for breaking the promise she made to everyone. But there’s not way out of this and she doesn’t want to lie to her best friend, so she explains:

  
\- I’ve been sleeping with Siyeon-

  
\- WHAT

  
\- Just 3 times… Or maybe 4.

  
\- WHAT THE HELL, WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD ME-

  
\- CAN YOU STOP YELLING? – Bora hushes her friend before continuing – The first time was before the meeting we all had and, since I promised I wouldn’t distract her, but…

  
\- But you kept sleeping with her.

  
\- Yes.

  
Minji stares at her with a serious face that evolves into a devilish smile:

  
\- My gay agenda has been successful! – she beams.

  
\- It’s not your gay agenda, it’s Siyeon’s mouth.

  
\- Gross.

  
\- You asked for it.

  
\- Ooof… - she rolls her eyes – So, how is to be intimate with a girl, Ms Kim Bora?

  
\- Well… Different? She is so dedicated and it’s like she knows my body better than I do – Bora becomes shy – But… I actually- I’m-

  
\- Omg, is the queen losing self-esteem?

  
\- C’mon, shut up. I’m new to this – she punches her in the arm – Anyways… I-… I feel like I’m not good at it? She touches herself sometimes while we are-…

  
\- Did she complain or said something about it?

  
\- No… But she normally doesn’t share stuff unless it really really bothers her.

  
\- Well… This might sound wrong coming from me, but you should talk to her. I don’t think she is mad at you or anything, she must know it’s your first time with a woman…

  
\- Yeah, I told her.

  
\- Then, you shouldn’t worry too much. Just give yourself time to get to know her body and talk to her.

  
\- Yeah, I should...

  
The CEO sighs as she leans back on the couch:

  
\- And we all should meet again and talk. Because, as the CEO of this company, I’m a bit upset with you. And you, as the director, should talk to Yubin and the rest of us. But specially to Yubin.

  
\- I should apologize to her.

  
\- And tell her you want to be with Siyeon – Minji eyes her, expecting an answer at her words.

  
\- That… I don’t know. We are just on “sleeping” terms for now.

  
\- Then tell her you want to keep sleeping with her.

  
\- Yep. I should.

  
The two women fall silent, letting the conversation sink into their minds, and suddenly Minji stretches a bit on the couch, startling her friend, and sits up:

  
\- Fill me up with the details of the meeting with Mr. Kim.

  
\- Well, he came yesterday and said he wanted to meet with you, not me. We talked about the company and how well we pulled Yoohyeon’s solo, but nothing more than that. He wants to talk to you before managing his stocks. So, I re-scheduled the meeting for today, asking him if he minds me to be present… Just in case you were still crying your eyes out – the redhead smirks.

  
\- Okay… - she chuckles back - Shall we move to the meeting room then?

  
\- Sure, just let me go to my office and grab some stuff. I’ll meet you there.

  
It doesn't take that long until they meet again in the meeting room, the purple-haired woman looking through the window as she tentatively bites her nails. She can't afford to lose any more shareholders. The company is not that strong in the market and losing two shareholders in a very short time can easily lead to bankruptcy. When Mr. Kim told her that he wanted to meet with her to discuss future plans for the company and its stocks, Minji got worried and now that she thinks about it, it was a little neglectful of her to leave the company all day yesterday and delegate her responsibilities to Bora. There’s a light knock on the door, their staff member gaining their attention and letting them know that Mr. Kim is there. The man comes in, greeting both women with a bow before signaling someone else to come in the room:

  
\- CEO Kim, Director Kim, this is my friend Mr. Lee Joo Won.

  
A bit stunned by the sudden new guest, both bow to greet them.

  
\- Please, take a seat, gentlemen – Minji offers as she sits next to Bora – Director Kim told me that you wanted to meet me.

  
\- Yes. I actually wanted to meet you first and then meet with Director Kim too – he clears his voice before going on – I wanted to take some advice from you two before managing my stocks in this company. Plus, my friend here, Mr. Lee, got interested in Happy Face Company recently.

  
The purple-haired woman is stunned by the news that the man has brought and it’s Bora who dares to ask:

  
\- We would love to help you out, Mr. Kim. – she turns to look at the other man – And, of course, Mr. Lee too. How might we help you?

  
\- Well… - Mr. Lee starts – I’ve heard that the company has some stocks available and I’m interested on buying them if they are still available.

  
\- And I’ll like to buy some too – Mr. Kim smiles.

  
\- I-… - the CEO stutters – Are you serious?

  
\- Yes – both men answer.

  
\- Why? I thought…

  
\- We like your policies and how you manage your artists, giving them freedom to choose and create their own music. It’s fresh and it’s a risky move, knowing that other artists rely on professional music writers and producers to get the songs they are going to perform – Mr. Kim clarifies – Trusting your artists like that means that you are sure that they are going to be successful, don’t you think?

  
\- We do think they are going to be successful. Most of them have some sort of experience in the industry, like Yoohyeon and Handong, and the ones that are new to this are very skilled – the director states – We are very selective when it comes to sign new contracts and starting new projects.

  
\- The company might be small, but we don’t want to carry artists or projects that are trendy just because it will profit a lot. We’d rather release high quality content, even if its benefits are low – Minji adds.

  
\- I see – Mr. Lee nods – I like that. I can’t wait to see how Lee Siyeon’s debut is going to be. She seems like a really good singer with a nice technique.

  
\- Yeah, with more experience and training, she could be as good as other experienced artists, like Jung Wheein or even Kim Taeyeon – Mr. Kim agrees – Well, ladies… Shall we get into the stocks matter?

  
The meeting lasts until noon, both parts discussing how the company will grow with such an income, Mr. Kim being now the biggest shareholder in the company. The CEO can’t believe it yet, even if the meeting ended and the two men left the company with signed documents and so on. Before the meeting started, she was already running through different plans to not let the company fall, but suddenly things turned out to be different. Minji looks at her friend, still on her spot, looking like she’s spacing out, probably because she is suffering somehow the downside of the adrenaline rush she’s been on during the whole morning. The purple-haired woman can’t believe how lucky she got to have her by her side. Bora has always had her back, no matter what, even when she was struggling with her leg or being the grumpiest human on Earth.

  
\- Thank you – she blurts out.

  
\- Huh? – the redhead turns to look back at her.

  
\- Thank you for caring always.

  
\- That’s what friends do, dummy.

  
\- But I don’t deserve it, I’ve failed you more than once-

  
\- You haven’t. Whenever I’m ready to talk, you are always there to listen to me without judging me. So, don’t think you are less or anything like that, Minji. – she huffs as she stands – You are the one I can always trust, the one who knows me the best.

  
Bora smiles and opens her arms to get a tight hug from Minji, both women letting out some stress.

  
\- Whenever we fix the little mess we have, let’s all go out and grab some drinks – the CEO mutters, her face buried in the redhead hair.

  
\- Sounds good.

  
For the rest of the day, Minji tries to get all the backlog from the day before and on the way to the small printing room, she runs into Siyeon and Yubin, who are walking in the opposite direction:

  
\- Hi, girls. How is it going?

  
\- Minji! – the producer greets – Well, we are almost finished. We were going to meet with Jin and the designers to start sorting and assemble the whole concept of the mini-album.

  
\- Oh, is Bora aware of this?

  
The singer looks at the auburn woman next to her curiously, waiting for her answer, but she doesn’t speak up. At this, the CEO frowns:

  
\- Why is that? She is the director, she should be informed of this

  
\- I know, but-

  
\- I don’t care. Inform her. You need her approval before anything else.

  
\- I will. Sorry.

  
The purple-haired woman nods and waves before resuming her way, leaving the other two in the hallway alone.

  
\- Is everything okay, Yubin? – Siyeon asks cautiously as they make their way to their meeting.

  
\- Yeah… It’s my fault, I thought I could move forward and make Bora sign the project even if it’s already on the make. I mean, she doesn’t usually say no to any project I do, because we normally discuss it before I start working on it. But this is still a company and we need to follow the proper steps, no matter how close we are with each other.

  
\- Well, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. I’m pretty sure that it won’t take long to get her to approve everything. We could even go to her office in a bit and talk to her-

  
\- I need to talk to her in private first.

  
\- Oh… Okay.

  
The dark-haired woman is silenced by her friend's curt response and simply follows her through the corridors of the company. However, her head is being noisy, trying to put the pieces together: they have all been behaving in a very strange way for a few days, Bora avoids seeing her while they are in the company building, and Yubin wants to avoid talking to the redhead. Clearly, there has been an argument or some problem between them, but why does the singer seem to be the cause of it? And why didn’t Bora tell her anything? Is it THAT bad? She shakes those thoughts as she gets in the meeting, trying to focus on the matter in front of her as the people in the room start discussing all the details in her mini-album.

  
The sun is starting to set when Siyeon is done for the day, walking towards the bus stop while checking her social media feed. She is so engrossed in the comments below the selfie she posted earlier that she doesn’t notice that the director is waiting for her at the bus stop, startling her when she feels a hand on her shoulder:

  
\- What are you doing with your phone, silly? – Bora laughs loud.

  
\- God, you scared me. What are you doing here?

  
\- I thought that maybe meeting up would be way better than just texting you.

  
The singer hums but stays silent next to her as she waits for the bus. But she can’t shut her mind up and she gets a bit anxious when she goes back to the little confrontation she had with Yubin, so she decides to speak up:

  
\- We need to talk.

  
\- We need to talk.

  
Both women raise their eyebrows at their synchronization and a little chuckle escapes the director lips:

  
\- Okay, but maybe we can do that while having a beer. My place or yours?

  
\- Your place? That way it’s just us.

  
By the time they arrive at Bora's apartment, it is completely dark outside and the redhead offers her some dinner while Siyeon makes herself comfortable on the couch. Once the two women have a drink of their beers, the singer looks at the smaller woman next to her:

  
\- What happened between Yubin and you? Why is she avoiding you?

  
Bora huffs. The woman may not have to know about the conflicts in the company, but as a friend/whateveryouwanttocallit she deserves to know why the redhead has been avoiding her all these days. Clearly, she doesn't want to make the same mistake Minji did with Yoohyeon and sabotage this relationship from the start, breaking any kind of trust Siyeon has offered her.

  
\- We argued. Badly. She… She thinks I might be too distracting for you, so I promised I won’t meet you in working hours.

  
\- Oh… - the singer frowns - But she doesn’t seem upset…

  
\- Well, she is not upset with you. She is upset with the lack of professionalism I showed.

  
\- You do your job well, you are always busy in meetings and so on, so what’s the problem?

  
\- Well… She thinks that us mingling is the main problem.

  
\- She knows?

  
\- Not from me, but she certainly suspects it.

  
\- But… I finished recording everything on time and-

  
\- Siyeon, don’t worry. We were all stressed about Mr. Park issue and Yubin kind of panicked and thought that you were going to be late for the debut date probably – she reaches for the dark-haired woman’s hand – I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, that was wrong. You deserved an explanation, not as an employee but as a… As Siyeon.

  
The woman nods, her gaze fixed on Bora's hand as she thinks about everything she has said. She is happy to find out first from the redhead and not from anyone else, but at the same time she is a bit upset about the reason for the problem. It is true that Bora is her boss, but they have respected the limits well and their jobs have always been their priorities.

  
\- Hey – the redhead calls her attention with a little squeeze – Please, I don’t want this to get in between Yubin and you. You are friends, right?

  
\- Yeah, don’t worry. I’m a bit upset, that’s all.

  
\- I understand, I felt that same way after the argument, but when you told me that Yubin explained you why I was so busy, I decided to let it go. Surely, we need to talk, but I’m not mad at her at all.

  
\- Yeah, she seemed a bit off when she explained it… Maybe she feels bad about it…

  
The director smiles sweetly at that comment. She knows the producer very well and she already knew that the woman possibly wants to fix things as much as she does. Yubin is not the typical type who is spiteful or stubborn, she, when she realizes a mistake, apologizes and tries to fix it. She may not have dared to approach her office because she probably thinks that Bora is still angry and busy with everything that has been going on these days, so it’s going to be the redhead who has to take the initiative before this goes on for even longer.

  
\- So… - she says as she scoots closer to the singer, making her to put an arm around her shoulders – What movie do you want to watch?

  
On the other side of Seoul, Minji just arrives home with her hands busy. She runs to the kitchen, setting the bags on the counter and makes her way to her room to change her clothes into more comfortable ones. However, when she leaves the bedroom, she finds herself facing her girlfriend, startled by the unexpected presence:

  
\- Oh my God, Yooh, I thought you were still working – she says as she puts a hand on her chest.

  
\- I just came home – the taller one chuckles – Next time I’ll make sure to make some noise.

  
\- Yes, please.

  
She pecks the gray-haired woman, but when she is about to pull away, Yoohyeon grabs her by the waistband of her pajamas and drags her in for a hug:

  
\- I’m sorry for this morning.

  
\- What do you mean?

  
\- I-… I think I was a bit tired and I overreacted… I mean, you clearly had hard days and now your mom doesn’t- … I mean-

  
Minji sighs and caresses her girlfriend’s lips with her thumb as she tells her:

  
\- You were right. I overstepped there by not telling you anything about it. And I was selfish for getting you out without asking for your permission.

  
\- Minji…

  
\- I promise I will work on this. I will communicate with you better – she smiles sadly – Will you forgive me, Yooh?

  
\- Of course, silly. I’ve already told you that you are the most precious human I’ve ever known – she pecks the thumb that was still lingering on her chin.

  
\- Thank you – she takes her thumb away to kiss her lightly – By the way, are you hungry? Because I bought a lot of food and it’s getting cold.

  
\- Are you serious? – Yoohyeon chuckles.

  
\- Yes, gaining your forgiveness with food was my plan B.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We were pretty kids in the beginning  
> A precious son and daughter of a family  
> Somebody’s grandmother, somebody’s firstborn child  
> Somebody’s person or somebody’s wish  
> Breaking because of somebody’s mischief.  
> It’s so sad, we are still so immature..."
> 
> This song is so... raw? I get emotional whenever I listen to it. "Life is like a flower". All the girls have flowers around them: people who help them through tough times, making dark days more beautiful, and congratulates them on their wins, with colorful words and smiles.
> 
> Thoughts? Did you expect the Jiyoo outcome from last chapter? Just one (1) person noticed the small hint I gave you hahahaha


	24. What I've done, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions here. Emotions there.
> 
> First part of SuDaDong? SuYuDong? story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// sexism and a bit of lgtb-phobia?
> 
> Title is What I've done by Linkin Park! 
> 
> Enjoy ^^

Siyeon arrives at her house stealthily opening the door in case her sister isn't awake yet. The sun has barely risen, and the corridor of the small apartment is lit with an orange tones, helping the singer to guide her steps safely through the house. However, to her surprise, her sister is already awake, having a coffee while looking at her phone, a little sleepy.

  
\- Hey, I thought you had the day free, Gah – she greets with a low tone, so she doesn’t startle her sister.

  
\- Yeah, but I keep waking up early, I don’t know why. I guess it’s because I’m used to it now… - she looks up at her sister and smiles tiredly - Were you at Bora’s again?

  
\- Yep… - the singer answers nonchalantly while she goes to the kitchen to grab a mug and take some of the coffee Gahyeon left.

  
\- Huh.

  
\- What?

  
\- You say that you don’t feel anything for her besides friendship.

  
\- Yep.

  
\- Okay… - she leans on the backrest while eyeing the other woman – Did you have fun then?

  
\- Yeah, we watched a movie and then went to sleep-

  
\- So, you basically are girlfriends.

  
\- We are not – she snaps.

  
\- But you two text each other a lot, have sex, cuddle while watching movies, spend a lot of time together… And Bora is so soft around you… And your idiotic smile when she’s looking at you… - Gahyeon shrugs – Just admit you like her.

  
The singer stares at her sister. There are few times when she feels uncomfortable with her sister and right now the last thing she wants is to have this conversation. Yes, they may look like a couple from the outside, but they are not. They are simply friends who have fun together and she loves that: the ease of having fun without compromise.

  
\- You know I’m not into “girlfriends”, Gah. Stop the bullshit-

  
\- Woah, okay, calm down. – her sister throws her hands in the air, startled by the sudden change of mood in her.

  
\- I’m calm – she states angrily – I’m tired of telling you I don’t do girlfriends.

  
\- But you like her!

  
\- OF COURSE I DO

  
Siyeon’s eyes widen at her sudden heartful confession, her expression mirrored on her sister’s face. She’s never said this out loud before. The singer took a long time to recognize that new feeling she gets when she is around Bora, put words to it and accept it, even though it scares the shit out of her. But she has never voiced out that she actually likes the redhead.

  
\- Siyeon… - her sister stands up and goes to her, placing a hand on her arm.

  
\- I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have lashed out at you… - she buffs, looking down at her feet – I just… It’s overwhelming, okay? This feeling. And it’s scary. It’s been long since I felt this way, like I’m addicted to her, like I’m drawn to her.

  
Gahyeon nods. Besides her two only serious relationships, her sister has been dating women that she didn’t actually like. She used to say that it was just for fun, nothing else, and she’d even date two at the same time if she had the chance. Not like she tried to hide it, she always made it clear when she met another woman who was willing to date her: she wasn’t good at commitment and she wasn’t planning to get better at it. Siyeon didn’t treat them bad, she was always honest, kind and took care of them. The younger sister thinks that she wasn’t a fan of serious relationships because of the exhaustion of always staying hidden and secretive outside of the four walls of her room. That had a high emotional cost and it ended her relationships, leaving the singer a bit emotionless afterwards. Her sister would ask her about the point in loving someone, in being a relationship, when you cannot give everything you’d like to them, like straight couples do. That’s why she stuck to flings, one-night stands and non-committed relationships with women she didn’t feel anything for more than pure lust and friendship. But when Gahyeon saw for the first time how Bora sparkled something different in her sister, she knew things were going to be different this time.

  
\- It’s okay to be scared, Si – she circles her sister with her arms, her chin placed on the other’s shoulder – If you ever feel like you need a pair of ears to figure things out, just tell me. I’m your sister and I love you.

  
\- I love you too – she answers lowly, letting the younger one squeeze her before releasing her – I shall shower and change my clothes before going to the company. Do you want to come with me today?

  
\- OMG YES.

  
When the older sister comes out of her room already dressed up, Gahyeon is ready, waiting for her at the doorstep. They reach the company’s building soon and, as they step out of the elevator, Yubin is there, like she’s actually waiting for the singer to arrive:

  
\- Hey.

  
\- Oh, hey Yubin. Do you remember my sister? – she greets.

  
\- Sure, Gahyeon, isn’t it? It’s been long since we saw each other.

  
\- Yeah, you guys have been busy – the younger sister answers a bit shy – I’ve barely seen my sister at home this month.

  
\- True, it’s been insane – the producer huffs tiredly – Anyways, can I have your sister for a while? You can have some snacks at the breakroom. It’s nice and comfy there.

  
Gahyeon nods and looks at her sister hesitantly:

  
\- It’s okay, I’ll go there to pick you up whenever we are done – Siyeon smiles at her reassuringly.

  
\- Okay, I’ll be there.

  
Yubin stays still until she sees the younger sister disappearing around the corner and then looks at the singer:

  
\- I tried to talk to Bora before the meeting for your debut-

  
\- You did?

  
\- Yeah, earlier in the morning when she came to the company. But she said she prefers to meet all of us to give her approval to the project. Which makes sense, because you are the most important person in that meeting, but I think-

  
\- You didn’t tell her clearly that you wanted to talk about you two, right?

  
\- Yeah, I think she thought I just wanted to do it quickly and get her to sign the project as soon as possible.

  
\- At what time is the meeting?

  
\- She said we could go to her office whenever we were ready. Jin is already waiting for us in front of her door.

  
\- Okay, let’s go.

  
Both women walk until they meet the manager, who welcomes them with his characteristic smile. The singer already feels much more comfortable around him, since she and Jin have already spent hours working together and during some breaks they had come to exchange certain personal thoughts. For Siyeon, her manager is one of the few men she tolerates: he doesn't treat her as someone that’s below him nor underestimate her opinion at any time. They may not agree on some things, like when the singer wanted to wear a see-through shirt to record a cover, but he always tries to understand her and reason with her when their views are opposed.

  
The auburn woman looks at the other two, waiting for their confirmation that they are ready to knock on Bora's office door. When Yubin hears the director invite them in, she takes a deep shaky breath before opening the door and then walks through it into the room:

  
\- Hey, we are ready. Shall we go to any of the free meeting rooms? – she asks.

  
\- No, it’s fine, we can do it here – the redhead answers as she gestures them to sit on the chairs in front of her desk.

  
The black-haired woman smiles lightly at the contrast between the director Bora and the Bora she was with last night. She finds it fun and interesting how that woman can put such defined limits on her way of acting depending on the situation in which she finds herself, remembering how SuA used to be during training sessions and performances, serious and professional, and how she changed to a more "beagle" SuA outside of those moments.

  
\- Director Kim, have you read my email summing up the motive of this meeting? – the manager speaks up, taking the lead of the meeting.

  
\- Yes, I did. The mini-album debut is going to have two songs: one rock-ish title track and a ballad b-side, right?

  
\- Yes. Both were written and composed by Siyeon. I just arranged them – the producer explains, her voice tenderer than ever.

  
\- I’m aware – she states a bit dryly, making Yubin fidget on her seat – Anyways, what’s the plan?

  
Jin explains every detail of the releasement plan and how they are going to design the album to fit both Siyeon and the general public taste. The brunette just listens to the conversation while trying not to meet her gaze with the redhead, although the latter is totally focused on what the manager is explaining. That's when Yubin realizes that she mistrusted her for no reason: Bora had always been very professional and had never let her personal life get in the way of her job.

  
\- Bora – she jumps in the conversation when Jin finishes his explanation.

  
\- Not now, Yubin – the director cuts her, knowing by the look of the other woman what’s the matter.

  
\- But-

  
\- Yubin. – she warns one last time lowly, noticing how the producer’s voice starts to break – It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything. We can talk about it later when we are off work.

  
\- It’s not okay, though.

  
Siyeon looks between Bora and her friend, knowing perfectly what’s happening and why the director doesn’t want to let this conversation flow right now. So, hoping that she can change the course of it, she speaks up:

  
\- So, what do you think about the project?

  
\- Uh- Yeah, I think it sounds perfectly fine – the director says, grateful to the singer.

  
\- So, shall we sign the project or…? – the manager cautiously asks, not sure about what’s this atmosphere change for in the room right now.

  
\- Yeah… - Bora takes a moment before speaking up again - But, can you two leave me alone with Yubin? I’ll hand you the signed documents as soon as I can, Jin.

  
\- Sure – he confidently nods – I’ll be in my desk.

  
The black-haired woman says nothing, just gets up from her seat and walks out of the office with Jin. Once outside, she tells him that she’s going to the breakroom to pick up her sister and heads towards that room. Although she is worried about how the conversation between Bora and Yubin will end, she is confident that both women can discuss their differences and reach a common ground. With her mind being busy, she doesn’t realize that it doesn't take her long to reach said room and when she opens the door, to her surprise, her sister is not alone. Gahyeon is sitting next to a slim woman in a suit, and the two seem to be having a rather relaxed conversation despite the image of an executive that the stranger carries.

  
\- Gah, I’m done for now… - she greets hesitantly.

  
The younger sister looks at her beaming when she hears her calling her name and suddenly turn to face the other woman in the room and says:

  
\- That’s my sister, the singer!

  
\- Oh! So you must be Siyeon, right? – the stranger says smiling warmly – I’m Moon Byul, nice to meet you.

  
The singer is a bit stunned when the woman gets up and offers her hand to shake, which she takes:

  
\- Nice meeting you too.

  
\- Your sister seems to be your biggest fan – Moon Byul chuckles.

  
\- Yeah, she kinda is… - Siyeon smiles.

  
\- I definitely am – the younger one pouts.

  
\- She told you were going to debut anytime soon, huh? – she asks while going back to the spot she was occupying next to Gahyeon.

  
\- Ah, yes. Just had a meeting with the director to explain her the project.

  
\- That’s really cool! Are you going solo?

  
\- Yeah.

  
\- Nice – the stranger smiles warmly – I used to be in a group long ago. Actually, I met CEO Kim at the backstage of one of those college festivals we used to perform for. Sad we didn’t hang out a lot back then, I think both would have made nice collab stages.

  
\- So you were an idol – Gahyeon says curiously.

  
\- Yeah, you could say that, even though we weren’t fit for the “idol” image? We were definitely weird for the K-pop industry, so was Dreamcatcher.

  
\- And what do you do now? – Siyeon asks, sitting next to her sister.

  
\- I’m a CEO too. And a producer. I run RBW ent. along with my former boss and producer, Mr. Kim.

  
\- Mr. Kim? – the singer frowns, having the sense that she’s heard that name before.

  
\- Yeah, he comes by often apparently – Moon Byul laughs – He told me to meet CEO Kim today, he scheduled a meeting for both of us. He wants us to become friends? So we can work together and support each other in a man ruled industry.

  
Siyeon nods, not knowing what to say. She is in awe, it’s rare to meet female CEOs.

  
\- What was the name of your group, Ms. Moon? – the younger sister asks.

  
\- Mamamoo – she smiles proudly.

  
At the same time, Minji, in the other part of the floor, is walking next to Handong down the hallway, discussing the model’s schedules for the week and how they should start considering variety shows as an option for her to show herself more to the general public and give some fan service.

  
\- Anyways, we should talk to Bora before deciding whether you should go on tv and which variety shows fits you more – the CEO says as she slower her pace when they are near to the director’s office.

  
\- I agree – the Chinese woman nods lightly.

  
Before the other woman can knock on Bora's door, Handong touches the arm she is raising to get her attention. Minji looks at the surprised model and follows the direction of Handong's gaze until she spots her girlfriend, who has just arrived at the company.

  
\- Hi, guys – the taller woman greets as she approaches them.

  
\- Good morning, lady – the purple-haired one smiles – How does it feel to be able to sleep until later after a week full of schedules?

  
\- I think I’ve never slept so deep in my entire existence.

  
The three of them chuckle at that.

  
\- Do you have any schedules today, Yoohyeon? – the model asks curiously – I thought you were still promoting.

  
\- Yeah, I do, but in the afternoon.

  
\- You should have stayed at home and have some rest, Yooh – Minji pouts.

  
\- I wanted to see Bora and then have lunch with you.

  
\- Oh, Bora? – both women say at the same time

  
\- I wanted to ask her about a variety show.

  
\- We were about to go into her office, want to join us? – Handong smiles as she places her hand on the younger one’s shoulder, the other leaning into the touch.

  
Yoohyeon nods and Minji doesn’t wait anymore to knock on the door, not waiting for Bora to answer to turn the doorknob. However, as soon as she opens the door a bit, someone's sobs leak out and, worried that the director was the source of the cries, the CEO opens the door completely, revealing the scene for the three women: Yubin is with her face buried in her hands and the redhead is by her side, making gentle circles on her back to calm her down.

  
\- Bora… is everything okay? – Minji asks lowly, not wanting to disturb them.

  
The director nods and gestures for them to enter with her eyes, a signal that the CEO immediately grasps, and lets the other two women get in before closing the door. Yoohyeon and Handong sit on the small couch and Minji decides to stand near the producer.

  
\- She started crying out of the blue and hasn’t stopped yet… - the redhead explains – We were in the middle of Siyeon’s debut meeting and her voice was breaking, so I told both Siyeon and Jin to leave us alone.

  
All of them except Yubin stay silent, giving her time to calm down. However, the producer doesn’t stop crying and between sobs she manages to say:

  
\- I-I’m sorry, B-Bora.

  
\- You don’t have to apologize, silly, it’s fin-

  
\- It-It’s not fine-e, I-I’ve told you that already – she uncovers her face and looks at her frowning – We are friends, you protected me and got injured because of me, you have been in pain since then and all I can do to thank you is to doubt your professionalism and keep you away from someone that makes you happy.

  
\- It’s fine, Yubin. Did you really think I would stay away from Siyeon for THIS long? – she chuckles, trying to light up the mood.

  
\- But Bora-

  
\- You were partially right; I can’t deny that. So, I’ve decided that I’ll behave inside the company and during working hours, as Minji and Yooh do. But the moment I cross the main gate and step outside this place, I’m gonna be all over her – the redhead smirks, making Handong eye-roll and gaining a light chuckle from the couple.

  
\- I just- After the fight, I was recording with Siyeon and-d she wrote a song about how she feels around you? I-… It made me think about how selfish I’ve been acting these past days… Even with Handong. You guys risked a lot on my behalf and-

  
\- Okay, wait a minute – the CEO makes a stop gesture with her hands while looking at the producer - What do you mean with “you guys risked a lot on my behalf”?

  
Bora looks at the model from her place and when their gazes meet, the redhead can't hold back the sigh that rises to her mouth. Handong just nods slowly, as if giving the other woman permission to let Yubin know that the time has come to speak up and tell her former members the truth. When the producer feels a hand on her shoulder, giving her a squeeze, she tries to swallow the lump that has formed in her throat and thus put words to those memories that she has tried to bury millions of times:

  
\- When we were still Dreamcatcher and we already had a lot of fame, I began to receive letters from supposed fans who wanted me to dress more according to the "woman" that I am. They started out as simple mentions of the subject and ended up being threats like: either you behave like a woman or you will regret – Yubin takes a moment to take a deep breath before continuing, the other four remaining silent – I tried to ignore them, because, even if I received them every month, in the end it was always the same two people who sent them. However, our previous company decided that they would look for the authors of them to be able to report them to the police.

  
\- Why didn’t I know anything about this? Why didn’t you tell me? – Minji worries, her voice soft.

  
\- Because you were having it worse pretending to be straight and breaking up with Yooh just to keep Dreamcatcher’s image safe. I didn’t want to put more pressure on you. But- But Handong noticed that something was wrong and confronted me once when we were alone at the dorm. And I told her.

  
Yoohyeon eyes lit up as realization hits her:

  
\- That’s why you two suddenly spent a lot of time together…

  
\- Yeah, I didn’t want to leave Dami alone, specially when we were doing schedules and went outside the company or the dorms – the Chinese woman confirms.

  
\- Handong was like a bodyguard – the producer scoffs sourly, remembering how her former member was always taking her by the arm or circling her shoulders to keep them close together – Anyways… Things were going fine until we had that schedule separately…

  
The CEO tries to remember the day she’s referring to, her memories a bit blurry until Bora speaks up:

  
\- The day Minji stayed at home because her face looked like shit because of her sudden “allergy” and Yoohyeon was back at her hometown to attend the funeral of her grandma.

  
\- Yes, we went to Inkigayo to record an idol game. We finished pretty late there, it was already getting dark and fans were waiting for us, but there was no security staff and-

  
Yubin coughs as words get caught up in her throat remembering that evening. She leans back on the backrest of the chair and closes her eyes, trying to regain some strength to keep telling the story:

  
\- Since we went just with two managers and there weren’t too many security staffs around, one fan got close to us. He was big and older than me, I think. He came to me and started to yell at me some nasty stuff. “You look like a boy, “You should be ashamed to walk around looking like that”, “You sound like a man”, “Are you sure you don’t have a penis down there?” He was getting super fed up and I didn’t understand why, so I just told him that I didn’t want to behave like a woman because- I-

  
The redhead, not knowing exactly why the producer started to stutter again, takes her hand between hers, caressing it to give her some courage and support. Although, she wasn’t expecting the following words that Yubin spells:

  
\- Because I’m not a woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'd like to clarify that this story is just FICTION, therefore, nothing that's written here should be considered real. This is purely fictional. 
> 
> CEO MOON BYUL IS HERE
> 
> THOUGHTS? How do you think the sudadong story is gonna end?


	25. What I've done, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too many emotions here TT
> 
> anygays:
> 
> TW// lgtb-phobia

A train of images travels through Bora's head, the wagons that had been missing for years at last joining the others, making sense of everything that happened. Her eyes widen at the found logic and, at the same time, something burns inside her. Did that really happen? However, her growing anger is quenched when she notices something wet on her hands. Yubin has brought to her face the hand that the director is holding between hers and she hasn’t released it yet, her tears falling on the tangled hands.

  
\- I-If I hadn’t said that- If I hadn’t said that, Bora’s leg-

  
The producer is crying uncontrollably, her words slurred between hiccups. Bora’s jaw tightens at that sight, how Yubin looks so weak after baring herself, and the redhead can’t help the force that takes over her as she pulls her former member in a tight hug, soothing her with soft hushes. The couple seem lost, exchanging looks between them to communicate silently. But, surprisingly, Handong is calmer than anyone else in the room. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Minji, whose attention diverts to the model when she sees that she didn’t show any reaction to anything so far:

  
\- Dong, you knew… – she mumbles.

  
The Chinese woman stays quiet, recalling the promise she made to the auburn woman long time ago. She won’t say anything to anyone. “Not even Minji, Dong, please”. So, she does. She stays loyal to her friend and just stares at the back of the producer, fearing the CEO eyes.

  
\- How- When-… Why didn’t you tell us, Yubin? – Yoohyeon is the only one who dares to ask, but she does it lowly, not sure how to face the situation.

  
The latter only shakes her head, which is buried in Bora's shoulder. Yubin tries to regain a normal breathing rhythm, but the sobs and hiccups make it impossible for her, so she turns her head to look at the Chinese woman in the eye, asking her for help. However, Handong frowns and stands up, approaching her and placing a hand on the producer's head, to whisper:

  
\- I’m not going to tell the whole thing, Dami. That’s something you have to do. It’s important for you and your friends that you are the one explaining it. I know the story, but I don’t know how you felt and how you feel now. Plus, - her features soften – they deserve to know the whole story from you. They are our family, aren’t they?

  
Yubin buries her head back into the redhead's shoulder and inhales deeply, her breath a little shaky. Yes, she has to stop closing herself to them, but she can't help but be in sheer terror of their reactions. She herself took a lot of time to understand how she felt, so she doesn’t expect that the people around her can even understand it.

  
\- What if-… What if they-… - she gulps the lump in her throat – What if they think I’m a weirdo?

  
It’s barely a whisper, but it’s loud enough for Handong and Bora to hear it. The director heart breaks a little more, comforting words not coming out of her mouth even if she opens it, so she shuts it and snuggles her nose into Yubin’s hair, her forehead touching the top of her head.

  
\- Why would they think you are a weirdo? – the Chinese woman whispers back – They love you, Dami, we all do…

  
The warm voice from the model and the redhead’s soothing actions finally calm her a bit more, so she tries to regain her posture, pulling away from the two women. Her shaky breath is still there, but tears don’t come up her eyes anymore. However, she doesn’t dare to look up from her lap. If she does, she won’t be able to talk at all.

  
\- I-… His face when I said-… His face when I said I’m not a woman-… It turned into pure horror and then he got all red… - she plays with the hem of her shirt nervously – And-… And he started yelling-… There wasn’t any security staff by my side, so Handong got between us and started to tell him to back off, but he didn’t and she started telling me to run to the car… - she lets out a trembling sigh – But I was literally frozen there, I was so terrified I didn’t even realize that Bora was pushing Handong towards me and facing the guy until she yelled something at him and… I-…

  
\- I told him to fuck off and it took him by surprise I guess, because he stood still for a moment – the director continues as she sees Yubin struggling – But then, as I was turning to join them, he pushed me.

  
\- I saw how Bora was literally in the air for a second… - the producer recalls – And that’s when the only security staff that was there jumped in and pushed the guy out… Our manager had to get Bora up and take her to the car… And Handong pushed me into the backseat hurriedly.

  
The CEO stays quiet, taking in all the information she was just given. Her former members and friends were physically attacked. And their former company didn’t take any action towards that guy. Moreover, no one said anything to her, not even to explain why the redhead was limping out of the blue. And Yubin… She failed her as a leader. She wasn’t there for her when she was struggling with those haters because Minji was busy weeping around. She failed her friend.

  
\- Yubin, I’m sorry.

  
The producer turns to look at her in surprise.

  
\- I’m sorry I wasn’t there. For you. I’m sorry you went through all of it by yourself for a long time. And... – the purple-haired woman drifts her eyes towards Handong – Thank you for listening to her. To be honest, I thought you two had a thing and broke it off badly, since Yubin was acting strangely around you when you came back. But I guess… She was just…

  
The model lowers her gaze.

  
\- I think both of us kind of knew that me coming back to Korea meant that this moment was closer than expected. Even if SuA was there at that moment, Yubin had only told this to me back then, so I was the only one that knew the whole thing from the beginning.

  
\- Bora threw herself between that guy and us without knowing the whole picture and she took the worst part… - the producer mutters.

  
\- I’d do it again. Actually, now that I know everything that happened, I’d have fucking yelled at him even more. I can’t believe people still think they have a saying on other people’s lives-

  
\- Yubin – the taller one, who stayed quiet all this time, raises her voice over Bora’s to call her, interrupting the latter – Why? Why didn’t you tell me anything?

  
The auburn one looks at her, a mix of fear and sadness displayed on her face.

  
\- Yooh… I-

  
\- I know it. I understand. It must be hard. I just… I thought… You know… We are friends…

  
\- Yeah… I was afraid, I guess. Afraid of losing you. – the producer takes a deep breath before continuing - Plus, you were dealing with a lot too, I didn’t want to bother anyone. I told Handong because she pushed me and I broke down…

  
The gray-haired woman nods, trying to reassure Yubin that she holds no grudges. During that time, she lost her grandma and was also heartbroken. She couldn’t focus on their activities, so their company decided to give her a day off to visit her family and attend her grandma’s funeral. Yoohyeon wasn’t there not only for Yubin, but for anyone, that’s why she understands that her friend didn’t think of her when comfort was needed. Still, the fact that her friend is afraid of telling her… breaks her heart a bit. Not because she feels betrayed or whatsoever. It’s because how hard must be for anyone to expose themselves even if it terrifies them enough to keep it to themselves for this long. The tall woman herself is still afraid of coming out, even if nothing bad happened to her yet, so she can’t imagine how must be for Yubin to tell them how she feels after what happened. She tries to swallow the sadness, because that’s not what the producer needs right now, and pulls her best smile to look at her. Her smile mirrors on Yubin face. It’s not as big as the one she is portraying, but it’s enough for her. She wants her friend to feel comfortable and understood, so she tries to be extra careful to pick her next words:

  
\- Then, tell us. How shall we refer to you from now on? – Yoohyeon asks brightly, trying to change the mood that was reigning in the room – If you are not a woman… Are you a… man?

  
The producer frowns a bit, trying to find words to describe it. Is he a man? Is she a woman? What if… neither of them? How can anyone explain that? How can Yubin explain to the women in the room that’s not A or B, black or white? What words can you use to that? She takes a moment to think about it, sensing all the gazes on her, waiting patiently. 

  
\- I… I guess... I’m neither of those. Does that make sense?... Not a woman, not a man.

  
\- So… How shall we call you? Are you comfortable with your name? We-… We can arrange it to make it official or… I- Shall we even make it official? Shall we warn our artists, so they call you by the right name? – Minji tries to understand, even though this situation is brand-new to her.

  
\- Calm down, Jiu – Handong chuckles at her – I think Dami needs some time to wrap her… his… -

  
\- Their – Yubin interrupts, feeling something sparkling in the inside – I think that “they” is fine for now.

  
\- Dami needs to wrap THEIR mind around the idea that THEY just came out to us, I guess – the Chinese woman nods, smiling at them.

  
It sounds nice not being tagged. They. That’s it. Their pronoun.

  
\- Uh… So, Yubin… Are you comfortable with your name or do you want us to call you differently? – Bora speaks up.

  
\- Yubin is fine. – they turn to look at the model – Dami too.

  
The director nods. It is a strange feeling to have to change the idea that she had of her friend, it is the first time that she is in this situation, but it is something that she is going to have to do. After all, they have been brave by being honest with her, so the least she can do in return is to do her part. Bora loves Yubin, they have been friends for many years. If they are uncomfortable with a pronoun other than "they", she will do so. Her eyes travel across the room, the members' faces expressing confusion and relief. Bora assumes that Minji and Yoohyeon are still trying to process the story that the three of them have kept secret for so long, in addition to what she didn't know either. And then, her eyes land on the calm model. The director smiles at that sight, thanking that they had the Chinese woman by their side all this time while they struggled to understand themselves, the woman being their safe place.

  
\- Bora – the producer calls her as they come closer to her.

  
The redhead looks at them and she stands up. Immediately after, she feels arms circling her and that surprises her. While she has always been really into skin ship, the auburn one never has showed interest in it. So, when they hug her, something comes up her throat, even if she tries to swallow it. Her sight gets blurry and she gives the hug back tightly, trying hard not to let tears roll down now that everyone is feeling better, specially Yubin. But she breaks down when she hears them say:

  
\- Thank you. You tried to protect us even without knowing what was happening. And – they pull away, but their hands don’t let go hers – I think everyone agrees that you have been there for us, always trusting us all the way and supporting us. Even if you didn’t understand the whole thing or you haven’t felt the same way as us at some point, you always tried to do your best to understand us. Even if you were hurting, you put us before everything else. So yeah…

  
The CEO just nods at that, as she remembers how she had no hope on Bora accepting her offer to join her in this new journey because she knew the redhead was still struggling with the pain in her leg, but getting surprised by the director nodding at her when she asked. Even after days of hard work during Dreamcatcher promotions, she’d come to Minji’s room to listen her crying about Yoohyeon. Of course the purple-haired woman has been there too for her, but she has never thanked her properly for being such an amazing friend.

  
\- You two – she points at the taller woman and the model – Come here.

  
Minji opens her arms, trying to circle all of them, pressing her foreheads against theirs:

  
\- I love you. All of you. No matter who you are, what you do – she says lowly – Thank you for coming back. Thank you for being here.

  
Bora, whose face is wetted by her tears rolling down her face, chokes out a sour laugh as she ruffles Yubin and Yoohyeon’s hair, the latter whining at that. It's clear that they should keep talking things over, but Minji decides to let it be for now. Of course, the CEO plans to question Bora about her leg and why her previous company didn't make her go to therapy. However, this has all been very emotionally exhausting, especially for Yubin, and she doesn't want the members to be discouraged or drained for the rest of the day.

  
\- Okay – she announces as she pulls away from the group hug – Everyone here needed something from Bora, right? Shall we pause this conversation until next time, go back to work and ask Director Kim whatever you need?

  
Everyone nods and Bora chuckles as she goes back behind her desk to resume signing Siyeon’s debut project for Yubin and attend the other women in the room. It doesn’t take much for them to make their way out of the director’s office, leaving the redhead alone. Bora lays back on her chair, taking a moment to let her mind to come down after all the rollercoaster of emotions. Now that she knows why Yubin was attacked, she finds herself wondering how many people face such situations on a daily basis. And she thinks: will it ever happen to her, now that she's sleeping with a woman? Living with that question on your conscience must be heavy after a long time, and she can’t imagine how her friends have managed to live with it, with that constant pressure, with the fear that forces you to look behind your shoulder in case someone has seen you be who you truly are.

  
She huffs.

  
She spends the rest of her day making calls and scheduling meetings for Yoohyeon and Handong’s variety shows and when she leaves the company it is already night, almost the entire economic district is off and most of the restaurants are already serving dinners. The redhead stands still at the front door of the building, thoughtful. She looks one way, then another. And she starts walking. Bora's mind hasn't stopped making noise all day, creating a dark feeling inside her. It's not that the director tends towards them by nature, but today's conversation, seeing Yubin in that state, remembering certain episodes in her life, … It was too much for her mind. That is why she has allowed her steps to lead her to the door in front of her now, without stopping to think if it is a good idea to be here at this time of night. She raises her hand a few times, wondering if she should really ring the bell or not. But, in the end, she decides to call and the person who comes to open the door is not the person she expects:

  
\- Oh, Bora. I didn’t know you were coming today – Gahyeon greets a bit confused.

  
\- Well, I didn’t tell Siyeon I’d come, to be honest… If it’s a bad time, I can come any other time, don’t worry – she apologizes as she starts to turn to leave.

  
\- No, no, it’s fine – the younger sister grabs her arm and pulls lightly to invite her in – Si is in her room.

  
\- Is she already asleep?

  
\- I don’t know, she went to bed early today, but maybe she is just playing with her phone while laying down.

  
Bora nods and enters the small apartment, heading straight for the woman's room. She knocks on the door once and receives no response, so she decides to carefully open the door. The room is dimly lit by streetlights filtering through the window curtains. Trying not to make too much noise, the redhead closes the door behind her, puts her bag on the floor, and undresses before crawling between the sheets. The singer is asleep on her back, so Bora decides to scoot closer to her and rest her head on her chest, while her arm rests on her torso. Siyeon's breathing, which was deep and slow, stops suddenly and the other woman feels a hand stroking her back up and down until it rests on her hip, pulling her into a hug:

  
\- What are you doing here?

  
It’s a soft whisper but audible, her voice all hoarsed.

  
\- I finished at the company late and I didn’t want to be alone – she whispers back.

  
The singer hums, pulling her closer with the arm that’s circling her.

  
\- Something wrong?

  
\- Just a long day, I guess.

  
\- Is it Yubin?

  
Bora takes a moment before getting on her forearms and looking at Siyeon.

  
\- Can I ask you something?

  
The singer opens her eyes slowly, sensing the worry behind the question:

  
\- Sure.

  
\- Are you afraid of people coming after you for who you are?

  
\- What? – the black-haired woman sits up abruptly, confused at the question, and making the other one sit up as well.

  
\- Are you afraid to be seen with a woman?

  
\- I-… I don’t understand, Bora.

  
\- I’m afraid.

  
The sight of Bora sitting on her knees, naked, her skin bathed with the light coming through the window and her face showing a hint of fear makes Siyeon weak. It’s not the same weakness she feels when she sees the woman walking around showing off her body, it’s more the weakness she felt when she found Bora in the shower stall, crying in pain. The weakness that pulls some kind of urge to protect her. So, she pulls her in her lap, and hugs her tightly, the singer’s nose buried on her neck.

  
\- It’s normal to be afraid – she mutters against her neck – We all are.

  
The redhead hugs her back, resting her cheek on the top of her head.

  
\- What do you do when you can’t get your mind out of it?

  
\- I-… - Siyeon huffs, defeated, and buries her face further, drowning in Bora’s scent – When I can’t get my mind out of it, I make very bad choices… I let myself get carried away by it and I end up hurting people I care for.

  
The other woman lifts her head and pulls the singer away from her a bit, just enough to look at her in the eye:

  
\- Do you feel like that when we are together?

  
\- … Not when we are together.

  
\- When you are alone – she gets a nod from the black-haired woman.

  
Siyeon lowers her gaze, her eyes landing on the comforter behind Bora. The latter senses the sudden discomfort in her, but she puts her finger under the singer’s chin to make her look at her in the eyes:

  
\- I trust you.

  
\- You… You trust me?

  
\- I trust you – she nods – I know you won’t hurt me. I know that you will come to me if you ever feel suffocated by fear. I know that you will talk me about it before making a dumb decision. Right?

  
The black-haired woman’s eyes widen. Bora… trusts her? Really? Why?

  
\- Siyeon?

  
\- Huh?

  
\- I know we are not in a relationship, we haven't tagged yet whatever is happening between us. Still, I like this, I like the way I feel around you. So, I really want to know: Can I trust you?

  
\- … I-… - she stutters – I-I don’t know.

  
The redhead frowns at that and places a hand on Siyeon’s cheek. She doesn’t know if she’s mad or not, but she definitely got soft at the honesty showed by the singer.

  
\- Well... I’m willing to take the risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @/pawxprince for guiding me through this chapter. Your tips and advices have been very helpful :)  
> I don't know if you guys noticed the CHANGE in the pronouns there. I wanted to Yubin discuss how they felt and how everything went down for DC before actually realizing that they don't feel comfortable being tagged as a woman or as a man when they are finally asked about it. I was a bit afraid of writing this second part, so I dm'ed pawxprince to get some advice. 
> 
> So... thoughts?  
> You have been leaving LOTS of comments lately and I'm gonna answer all of them, I promise TT


	26. Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suayeon fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the song FACE by Woosung, check it out
> 
> This chapter is pure fluff and soft, because we all need some fluff sometimes
> 
> tw//sex below the line!

The day is close. Siyeon can’t stop pacing the room back and forth. Her debut is just around the corner and she still has the feeling that she is not ready, even though she has worked months for it. Yubin keeps telling her that she doesn't have to worry about her vocal performance, but there is something the singer doesn't quite trust: her presence on stage. If she doesn’t make an impact on the public, attracting the general public's eye after her debut will be very difficult. Therefore, this week she has been spending hours and hours in the dance hall with Jin and, although it is true that he is helpful, the manager has no experience in doing performances, so his advices are quite basic and, sometimes, not very creative. And she's well aware that her boss clearly told her to try not to interact much with her at the company during work hours, but Siyeon is already desperate and needs advice from someone who does know about performances. If the singer could, she would ask the dancers or Yoohyeon for help, but she is not very close to them nor does the tall woman have any free time lately.

  
That’s how the black-haired woman finds herself late in the afternoon walking hesitantly through the hallway until she meets her destination, knocking the door and waiting for the cue to go into the room.

  
\- Hey, Bora… Are you busy? – she greets shyly.

  
\- Siyeon? I’m doing some paperwork – the director answers, confused at the unexpected visit – Is there something wrong?

  
The singer closes the door and looks back at the redhead:

  
\- I know we talked about not meeting when we are working, but I really need your help.

  
\- We agreed on not meeting for fun when we are working. Of course you can ask me for help, silly – Bora chuckles – How may I help you, Ms Lee?

  
Siyeon relaxes a bit when she hears the other woman’s question and decides to take a seat in front of her before telling her what she needs:

  
\- I’m having problems with my performance for my debut.

  
\- What kind of problems?

  
\- I-… I don’t know if I’m doing well or if I look horrible while performing.

  
The redhead hums, nodding.

  
\- Okay… If you can wait for me to finish here, we can go to the dance practice room. Sounds good? – she smiles – Do you mind being kept at work until late?

  
\- Sounds fine – the singer beams back – I can meet you at the breakroom-

  
\- Oh, you can wait here, Siyeon. Make yourself comfortable – the director insists.

  
The other woman does as said, standing up to go to the small couch on the other side of the room and flops down on it. She watches Bora contently writing some notes and checking documents, but, as the redhead meets her gaze and shakes her head, she drifts her eyes away from her to not make her uncomfortable. Her sight roams the walls of the room, where the familiar pictures and trophies, among other things, are hanging. Siyeon’s eyes land on a specific picture of Bora with a shirt covering a red revealing outfit on stage and the singer wonders how the director have dealt with the fact that she couldn’t perform anymore. All those trophies she has hanging proudly on the walls are proof of how the redhead was a great performer, the pictures of the director with the awards next to them. She doesn’t want to bring up the subject but while looking at all of them she feels overwhelmed with some sort of sadness. And, as if she had a sixth sense, the redhead speaks up:

  
\- What’s on your mind? You are awfully quiet while looking at my performing picture, and that’s creepy – she chuckles lightly.

  
The black-haired woman takes a moment, not matching her gaze with hers and weighting whether she should share her thoughts or not, in the end deciding to word them up:

  
\- I-… - she huffs as she meets her eyes – Do you miss it?

  
\- What? Dancing?

  
\- Performing.

  
Bora lays back on the backrest of her chair, letting her pen fall on the desk.

  
\- I do, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Even if I could perform after my recovery, I’m still the director of this company and I’m always busy with work… I can’t go on promos like Yoohyeon did. Same for Minji – she huffs – We both have our hands tied when it comes to that.

  
\- I see. It must be thrilling to perform in front of so many people…

  
\- I don’t care if there’s just one person watching me, I always get that feeling…

  
The redhead’s smile is tinted with nostalgia and that breaks Siyeon’s heart a little.

  
\- I’m almost done, by the way.

  
\- Okay – the singer answers lowly, still a little concerned.

  
There’s a long silence between them, only the sound of the keyboard filling the space, until Siyeon can’t hold her words anymore:

  
\- Bora.

  
\- Hm? – she hums without looking away from her computer screen.

  
\- I’m here.

  
\- Huh? – this time she looks up at the singer.

  
\- I’m here if you need to talk about anything you need to.

  
The redhead stares at the other woman, stunned. She was caught off guard that the singer told her that. She understands that she’s talking about her problem with performances, but other subjects that are pending with her come to the director’s mind. However, she is not concerned, as seeing Siyeon so willing to listen to her and understand her point of view makes a pleasant sensation spread through her chest. She does not understand why the woman in front of her now can have that effect on her, since it is not strange for Bora to have someone who wants to listen to her, such as Minji. However, Siyeon… Is it because of the fact that they sleep together? Or is it yet another symptom that she’s been trying to ignore all this time to avoid more complications in her already complicated life? The director is not new to romantic relationships and knows how to recognize when someone means more than just a one-night stand. She and the singer almost always wake up together and have already passed the blurred line of simply sleeping together for the pleasure of being next to each other. And although Siyeon finds it difficult to open up and talk about what she feels, she can see through her loud actions that she is not the only one who knows that they have already crossed that line.

  
\- I know – she sighs contently – Anyways, I’m done here. Shall we head to the practice room?

  
The black-haired woman doesn’t say anything, she just stands up and they walk together down the hallway. When they arrive at the practice room, Bora tells the singer to get ready while she takes one of the chairs in the room and places it right in front of where the woman is going to do the performance. The first notes come out of the speakers and Siyeon stands right in front of the redhead, a bit uneasy. It may not be the first time she sings in front of her, but it is the first time she is going to sing this song while she watches. It is the song that she composed talking about how she feels about her. About what is inside the singer when the two are together. Siyeon feels naked right now as she moves the mic to her mouth to sing the opening lines. She decides to close her eyes to avoid seeing Bora and sings her song the best she can. Although, when she is about to enter the chorus of the song, it doesn’t take her long to open them again to look at the redhead. The woman's eyes are wide open and a small smile peeks across her lips, which gives the singer more confidence and lets herself be carried away by the music. The song enters the final bridge, and Siyeon, motivated by the song's strong bass, pulls out the microphone and walks over to the other woman:

  
**Won’t you come with me**   
**Just dancing on the floor**   
**You’re beautiful**   
**La la la la**   
**You got me saying**   
**Yeah yeah yeah yeah**

The back-haired woman offers her hand to pull Bora on her feet.

  
**I like your face**   
**I like your taste**

The redhead starts dancing in a silly way along with Siyeon as the final chorus goes on.

  
**I like your face yeah**   
**I like your taste**   
**You take me to space yeah**

And as the bass and drums take over the last notes, Bora comes closer to the singer, circling her arms around her waist.

  
**I like your face**

  
\- I like your face too – the smaller woman whispers as she closes de gap between their lips.

  
It’s soft and light, but it’s rare. They don’t usually share such a romantic intimacy and the feeling that runs from Siyeon’s nape to the pit of her stomach isn’t like the usual feeling when they are naked and sweaty. Their foreheads stay glued for a while until Bora pulls away and looks at her:

  
\- Shall we start with the performance practice?

  
They train her debut performance well into the night, perfecting gestures and possible moves that the singer can perform on stage. It is a bit difficult to do a “choreography” for a song with a microphone stand, but it is not the first time for Bora, who even suggests to the other woman that she tie a scarf to the stand, to decorate it and get more attention. The director looks at the time on her phone and a sigh escapes her lips when she realizes that Siyeon might have missed the last bus of the day.

  
\- Siyeon, we should go home, it’s late.

  
\- But-

  
\- No “but”. You need to rest. Plus, I'm not even sure if you are going to be able to catch a bus…

  
They exchange glances and the redhead smiles:

  
\- Come to my place tonight. I have some leftovers and you can borrow some oversized t-shirt from my closet.

* * *

  
The two women do not rush through the city, taking their time to enjoy the nocturnal tranquility of the streets. When they arrive at Bora's apartment, they both leave their things in the room and the redhead goes to get that big tee for Siyeon.

  
\- Uh-…. Bora?

  
\- Yeah? – she answers without paying much attention as she searches in a drawer for the t-shirt.

  
\- Would you-… I mean, it’s okay if you don’t… But- - she stutters- … Would you like to shower… with me?

  
\- Oh? – the smaller woman turns around at the question, her eyebrows up.

  
\- It doesn’t mean we have to … you know.

  
The redhead smiles at the timidity of her words and, first leaving the shirt on the bed, approaches the woman, taking her by the hand and leading her to the bathroom. Clothes are forgotten on the floor as they step into the shower, Siyeon's hands covering her own body in a moment of self-awareness. Bora has already noticed the other woman's insecurity about her body when she is naked, but has never wanted to say anything to her. She chooses to hold her hands and have her put them on her lower back. At first, the singer tenses when she is uncovered, but the hot water and the scent of the soap the redhead uses relaxes her mind and body, causing her to even close her eyes from the pleasure of the heat hitting her shoulders. The smaller woman takes the opportunity to leave soft kisses on her neckline and clavicle.

  
\- You are beautiful– she mutters against her skin.

  
The latter, still with her eyes closed, smiles lightly and press Bora closer to her. Her hands start wandering downwards, giving a little squeeze to her ass cheeks and earning a chuckle for the redhaired woman. Bora pulls away after a moment, so they can wash up properly and step out of the shower when they are done. But, as she watches Siyeon drying her body, there’s something that pops up in her mind, that she hasn’t brought up yet, along with the singer’s words from their earlier conversation in her office, so she decides to share her mind:

  
\- Siyeon, can I ask you something?

  
\- …Sure – she says as she awkwardly puts the towel in front of her naked body and looks at the other woman.

  
\- I-… I don’t know how to ask this… It’s not like it bothers me or anything, I’m just curious. And I also want us to be honest with each other…

  
The singer just nods at her, her face not showing any sign of discomfort, so the redhead just keeps going:

  
\- Anyways… I uh-… Sometimes, when we are… doing it, you touch yourself. It’s because I’m still a bit… clumsy and shy when I touch you, right?

  
Siyeon stays silent, trying to understand Bora’s concerns to give her a proper response. Before answering, she drops the towel that was shielding her and grabs the smaller woman’s hand, dragging her towards her bed. The black-haired woman sits on the edge of the bed and pulls the other woman on to her lap, Bora’s legs on her sides. Her arms circle her waist, securing the redhead in place.

  
\- Yes, it’s because I’m so heated up that I need more release. But that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying our time together. I love to give you pleasure and I understand that it takes time to get bolder, especially if I’m your first time with a woman – she shrugs – Does it upset you or anything? Would you rather have me doing it privately?

  
\- No, no. It’s fine. It actually… turns me on – she chuckles lightly, a slight blush painting her cheeks.

  
\- I see. Then… everything is okay, right? You don’t have to worry and I don’t want you to rush into things if you are not sure about it.

  
The other woman stares softly at Siyeon, her arms thrown around her neck, and a smile appears on her face as she leans in to capture her lips. Their kiss starts soft and slow, but it changes as Bora’s nails scrape her shoulder blades and the singer digs her fingers on her hips. Sighs and soft noises fill the room quickly, the redhead softly grinding on Siyeon’s lap. They break their kiss, their breathing raged, and Bora pulls the other woman’s lower lip between her teeth.

  
\- I want to try something – the smaller one says softly.

  
\- Okay.

  
Bora leaves a peck on her lips before standing right in front of Siyeon. Then, she squats down and places her hands on the other woman’s knees while looking at her in the eyes.

  
\- Are you… - the singer voices hesitantly – Are you sure?

  
\- Yes.

  
\- You don’t have to-

  
\- I want to – she answers lowly as she pushes the black-haired woman knees apart.

  
There’s an electric feeling that runs Siyeon’s spine when she hears those words while she sees the redhead’s mouth close to her core. She has to control her hands when she feels the hot and wet tongue sliding against her, not wanting to push Bora’s face against her center yet. She doesn’t want to pressure her into anything she doesn’t want to or be rough with her while she is testing new things, so she tries to stay as still as she can, her breath hitching up. The woman between her legs takes her time and studies her wetness with her hands and mouth, sometimes drifting away from the throbbing bundle to explore other parts. With a knowing gaze, she glances up to meet her eyes and the redhead smiles:

  
\- I like your taste.

  
It’s barely a whisper, but the singer heard it perfectly, arousal pooling between her thighs. And, as if Bora could read her body like an open book, she bites her inner thigh before saying:

  
\- I’m going to make you cum in my mouth, sweetie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soft TT
> 
> Suayeon trying to open up a bit more to each other (mostly Bora), and the sudden semi confession with Siyeon's song <3 
> 
> I thought we might needed some break from all the angst of the last chapters :)
> 
> Fun fact: I planned for Siyeon's debut song to be Overdose, but I had already put in previous chapters that the singer had covered that song. So I searched my kpop library for a song that had something like that with an instrumental that would go well with Siyeon's style. Finally, I remembered The Rose and looked for a song that wasn't about a breakup hahahahahaha So yeah, Face is a nice song for Siyeon to confess her messy feelings to Bora and how she can't think straight when she is around, i guess?


	27. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything between two persons goes smoothly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song for the title today is Morning, by Mamamoo

When Siyeon's parents told her that entering the music industry was very self-sacrificing, she never thought they meant this. The singer has only been able to sleep 2 hours because last night she went home at 6 a.m. after recording her music video and then woke up at 8.30 a.m. to go back to the company and undergo an evaluation.

  
The woman enters the elevator and after pressing the button, she leans against the mirror in the back, defeated. She wishes the company were on a higher level so she could rest against the cold metal wall, but a small sound alerts her that she has already reached her destination. She uses the little strength of her legs to move again and, to her surprise, when she crosses the threshold of the door a steaming coffee greets her. Siyeon looks up from the coffee mug to the person in front of her, who is wearing an empathetic smile.

  
\- You must be tired, so I asked Bora how you like your coffee – Yoohyeon says as she offers the steaming mug to the singer – If you don’t like it, you can yell at her.

  
\- I will – she chuckles as she takes the beverage.

  
\- How was your MV recording?

  
\- Exhausting. A lot. Thank goodness Jin was there to cheer me up because I barely knew anyone there.

  
\- Yeah, the MV director and his staff have been working with us since my solo release – the taller woman nods and moves to walk down the hallway with Siyeon – Anyways, you have your debut evaluation today. How are you feeling?

  
\- I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sing and perform since I haven’t rested enough…

  
\- Maybe you can have a little nap at the breakroom and wake up for the evaluation?

  
\- I wanted to go to the music room to warm my throat up, but I guess you are right, I need some more sleep.

  
\- Yepyep! You have 1 hour, so go ahead. I can wake you up 15 minutes before the evaluation.

  
\- That’d be great, Yooh, thank you – the singer agrees while yawning.

  
Siyeon walks into the breakroom, closing the door behind her, and chooses the largest sofa in the living room to collapse onto and snuggle up. It doesn’t take long for her to fall into a deep sleep, her slow breathing echoing through the room. It seems like a minute has passed when she notices fingers combing her black hair back with gentle strokes and the singer opens her eyes little by little to be greeted by a familiar face:

  
\- Hey, sleeping beauty – Bora hums.

  
\- Hi… - she gets to word out with a hoarse voice.

  
\- Yoohyeon told me you were having a nap here.

  
\- Mmhm… I was a bit tired…

  
\- I’m so sorry you can’t sleep much this week… - the director apologizes – After promotions, we will give you a week off so you can sleep for days.

  
That makes the black-haired woman laugh softly and she finishes waking up. Bora is sitting in the little space her body has left and Siyeon can feel the heat that she emanates on her belly. She can’t deny that she has missed her these days that they haven’t had time to see each other due to all the nights the singer has spent recording and preparing for her debut. A tempting hand slowly approaches the lower back of the other woman and Siyeon is about to place it there to caress the area, but just someone opens the door of the room, startling both women and causing the director to stand up quickly.

  
\- Siye- Oh, Bora, you are here – the gray-haired woman smiles – I was worried that Siyeon was going to miss her evaluation time.

  
\- Jesus, Yooh, you really need to knock before opening doors – Bora complains.

  
\- …. Were you….?

  
\- No – both of them answer at the same time.

  
\- Whatever… Ms. Lee, are you ready? – the taller woman beams at the singer.

  
\- Yeah, I just need to warm up my throat – she smiles back.

  
Siyeon stands up and stretches her limbs before marching into the dance hall with the other two women. When they arrive, Minji is already there with Yubin and memories of her audition come to her mind, making her smile. The CEO sits in the center and on both of her sides Bora and the producer take a seat. The singer goes to the side of the room to get ready while the other three persons finish discussing some things and a shaky sigh leaves her chest. She knows she is going to pass the evaluation because she has practiced separately with the three of them, but still she can feel the pressure on her. She has to make it perfect or she will feel like she will disappoint her friends and superiors.

  
\- Siyeon, we are ready – the auburn one calls her.

  
The singer takes a deep breath before heading to the center of the room, where the mic-stand is and nods to Yoohyeon, who turns on the music. Although her body is tired, the music helps her find that little energy she has left and she manages to execute a pretty good performance, the three in front of her smiling with pride. After more than a year sharpening her skills, even she can see a big difference in her performance.

  
\- I think the performance is perfect, it fits the song perfectly – the purple-haired woman states – But… I’d like to ask you something that came up to my mind while listening to the final version of the song.

  
The woman stares, waiting for her question.

  
\- What are you going to answer when they ask you about the pronouns in the song?

  
\- That I’m the female character in the song and that someone is singing the song to me – the singer answers quicker than expected, surprising the people in the room.

  
\- I see… We didn’t want you to change your lyrics, because you really worked hard to get them out, but you need to keep in mind that fact – the producer warns.

  
\- I will.

  
Yubin nods as well as Minji and Bora do. The singer is ready, the song and the MV can be released. It’s their first-time training and preparing a brand-new artist that never debuted before, so it’s a huge deal for all of them, not only for Siyeon. If she does well, that means that they can start planning a training program and open another round of auditions in a couple of years.

  
After her superiors point out certain things about the performance and about the showcase, the director, concerned about her condition, proposes to the singer to go out to eat something before going back to work. Siyeon accepts without a second thought and both women bid their goodbyes to the rest of the group as they head towards the busy street of the financial district. There are several restaurants in the area and they finally decide on a ramen place not too far from the company.

  
\- It’s been a while since we went out together – the black-haired woman comments as they wait to be attended at the main entrance of the restaurant.

  
\- True. We’ve been busy either with work or with adult stuf-

  
\- BORA – Siyeon blushes, making the redhaired giggle playfully.

  
It doesn't take long for them to sit at a table near a window, and the two of them engage in a passionate conversation about music. The smaller woman is fascinated by how the singer speaks about her favorite groups and this seems to be contagious, because she also finds herself speaking in the same way about her favorite artists and dancers. Their conversation drifts off as they realize what time is, and they were asking for the check when a woman approaches them with a huge smile on her face:

  
\- Hi, Siyeon.

  
The woman looks startled, her eyes wide, and Bora looks between them wondering who is the brunette that apparently knew the singer.

  
\- Naeun, hi – Siyeon sttuters – Long time no see.

  
\- Yeah – the stranger chuckles – How have you been?

  
\- Fine… - she smiles awkwardly and glances to her side – By the way, this is Kim Bora, the director of the company I’m working in.

  
\- Oh, nice meeting you, Ms Kim.

  
\- You can call me Bora. Nice meeting you – the redhead smiles.

  
\- Okay, Bora – Naeun nods – So, Singnie, I was wondering if you wanted to catch up over a beer or something…

  
It's been a long time since they used that name with her. In fact, she was the only one that called her like that when they were together. Naeun hasn't changed a bit: her body is still delicate and slender, and her big fawn eyes are still just as attractive as before. The truth is that Siyeon did not expect to meet her ex-girlfriend in the capital, much less meet her in the financial district.

  
\- Well, as much as I’d like to do that, I’m super busy with work… - she explains – But I can give you my phone number.

  
\- Cool! We can text each other and agree on meeting some other time, whenever you are freer.

  
Something tightens in Bora's chest, but she ignores it. It’s not that she's in a position to complain or get jealous. She and the singer are not in a relationship, and even if they were, Siyeon is free to have a beer with whoever she wants. However, perhaps it is the sparkle in the woman's eyes when she looks at the strange that worries her. Her gaze exudes love and nostalgia, and it makes the redhead wonder if she's been wrong all this time, and in the end she and Siyeon really aren't on the same page of their relationship or whatever bond they share. Maybe the black-haired woman just wanted to have some fun and found her attractive enough.

  
Bora shakes her head slightly.

  
No. She knows her. She knows that the intimacy they share is not just “for fun”. She shouldn’t let herself go down that dark path.

  
\- Bora, I hope we can meet some other time – Naeun waves at her – Singnie, text me!

  
The beautiful woman walks away, leaving a smile on Siyeon's face, which soon disappears when she looks at the redhead for a moment. The singer notices some uncertainty in the woman's features.

  
\- Every thing ok, Bora?

  
\- Sure – she nods, drifting her eyes away.

  
\- Hm?

  
\- Yeah, don’t worry, I’m just overwhelmed with work… Shall we go back?

  
The black-haired woman nods without being 100% convinced and follows Bora outside. There is something strange in the air. Since Naeun introduced herself, the director's face and attitude are not the same. They spend the way back in silence and Siyeon, fed up with the tension between them, takes her arm as they exit the elevator before the director leaves for her office:

  
\- What’s wrong?

  
\- What? – the redhaired one asks a bit annoyed.

  
\- What’s wrong with you?

  
\- Nothing.

  
\- That’s not true.

  
\- Well, it’s none of your business, Siyeon.

  
Those words hurt more than the singer would have thought. Bora's face also immediately reflects regret immediately after releasing them, making her go mute.

  
\- Okay – the black-haired woman lets her arm free – See you, then.

  
Siyeon doesn't wait for the other woman to say anything to turn around and walk towards Yubin's production studio, where the producer is waiting for her to practice the other song from her debut album. Without waiting after knocking on the door, the singer enters the room, surprising the other person inside.

  
\- Why do you look so pissed off? -they ask a bit startled.

  
\- …. I don’t think this is the place to talk about this – she mumbles with a croaky voice.

  
The auburn one nods thoughtfully and stands up, leaving the singer alone in the room. After a couple of minutes, they come back with two bottles of beer in hand.

  
\- Here – they offer – drink.

  
\- Aren’t we supposed to behave inside the company?... – she asks as she takes the bottle.

  
\- Well, Minji clearly said that the production booth is MY territory. So, my territory, my rules.

  
\- I like that – Siyeon giggles lightly.

  
Yubin waits for her to decide whether she wants to share her concerns or not, and is pleased when the singer starts voicing out:

  
\- Bora is acting weird and when I tried to ask her about it, she told me that it is none of my business… Which is weird, because normally she doesn’t close herself when something is bothering her. She always speaks her mind…

  
The producer hums while sipping on their beer.

  
\- When Bora got injured the first time, she closed herself too. Even if I tried to confront her about it, she would just turn around and leave. Then I found out that she was trying to think about how she felt or how to word her feelings and she just needed time and space for that… So, maybe something confusing happened to her while she was with you and she jut needs time to figure things out.

  
\- … We were out and having lunch together, and then a person I know came to say hello and suddenly she was acting strange…

  
\- That’s weird…

  
\- I mean… Maybe it’s because that person used a pet name on me? Or… I- ….I don’t know….

  
\- Huh… Bora is not the type of person that’s possessive over her friends……. or whatever you two are.

  
\- ……………. I don’t even know what we are.

  
\- You don’t have to know. If you feel happy without tagging yourself, just keep it that way.

  
\- Am I even allowed to date my boss?

  
\- Well – Yubin chuckles – Minji has been pushing her suayeon agenda since you two became closer, so I don’t think she has any problem with you two dating.

  
\- Suayeon?

  
\- SuA, her stage name, and Siyeon.

  
At first, the singer’s eyes widen at the couple’s name and, a second later, she laughs out loud, making the producer to laugh too.

  
\- So – they wonder hesitantly – do you have feelings for her?

  
\- For Bora?

  
\- Yes – they nod – I mean, your song… I guess you do.

  
\- I-…. I like her, yeah – she confirms with a low voice.

  
\- Do you think she feels the same way for you?

  
The question makes Siyeon doubt. Does Bora like her? She shrinks back on her seat, hoping she is not the only one feeling this way when they are together. Of course Bora has been affectionate with her, but, is that a friendly affection? 

  
\- Siyeon – Yubin calls her, pulling her out of her mind – You are thinking way too much. Bora likes you too, I’m sure, so talk to her. You two will fix things quickly, I’m sure.

  
It’s not different on the other side of the company, where Bora storms in the CEO’s office, startling her friend, who was going through some paperwork.

  
\- Why do I feel this shitty?

  
\- …E-Excuse me? – the purple-haired woman stutters.

  
\- I basically made Siyeon mad because I’m a fucking child-

  
\- Woah, okay, calm down – Minji stands from behind her desk and goes to the small couch to sit there.

  
The redhead takes the cue and takes the spot next to her and huffs as her back lays on the backrest.

  
\- I got stupidly jealous because Siyeon was looking at someone I don’t even know with heart eyes.

  
\- Heart eyes…?

  
\- She was really happy when she was talking to this woman… Naeun is her name.

  
\- Maybe she’s a friend from school or something – the CEO frowns, confused – Why are you acting like this? You normally don’t act like a teenager when it comes to relationships…

  
\- Are we even in a relationship? – the director mutters.

  
\- What do you mean?

  
\- I mean that we haven’t talked about it at all. We just keep fucking each other, cuddle, kissing, but we never talk about feelings and what we want.

  
\- Then talk? – her friend raises an eyebrow questioningly.

  
\- You say it like it’s super easy to make Siyeon talk about her feelings. Plus, what if I don’t know if I want to have a relationship with her?

  
\- Then why are you worrying about her making heart-eyes to another woman?

  
\- I don’t know! I wished I knew, but I don’t! That’s why I’m here – Bora whines.

  
\- Okay, calm down – Minji places her hands on top of hers – Think about your time together, what do you want to do when you are with her? And please don’t sa-

  
\- Besides sex?

  
\- …….Yes.

  
\- Uh… We’ve crossed the line of cuddling on the couch and morning pecks already…

  
\- Oh, okay, wow, so you are basically girlfriends.

  
\- We are not-

  
\- Don’t lie to yourself, Bora.

  
The woman becomes silent. She might have been fooling herself all this time as she tried to think that Siyeon is simply a very very close friend rather than a special person to her. And she may also have avoided doing certain couple things with her even though she felt like doing it, like going on an actual date or spending a whole day with her in her pajamas watching random shows on TV. Even though she has talked Siyeon into opening up to her several times when she saw doubt on her face, Bora wasn’t either totally clear with her or herself.

  
Minji, as always, might be right again.

  
\- It’s just that… When I broke up with Jae and then I made out with Siyeon at Yooh’s releasing party, and not long after that we started sleeping together… I felt like I was rushing things with her?

  
\- Rushing things? You two have been mingling for months already. And you shouldn’t care how much time has passed since you broke up with Jae, if you both want to be together, then do it – the CEO scolds her.

  
\- I know, I know… Jesus, Minji, you are fucking intense sometimes…

  
\- I’m tired of you two eye-fucking each other but not admitting that you actually like each other – she sighs.

  
\- Well, I don’t know if she wants to anymore… I pissed her off because I basically told her that’s none of her business how I feel-

  
\- YOU DID WHAT?

  
\- I KNOW I’M DUMB.

  
\- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

  
\- I don’t know – the director whines again – I was mad at myself for feeling jealous over her and I wanted to think about it by myself instead of just throwing it at her face, but it didn’t come out the way I wanted to…

  
\- You didn’t want to throw it at her face, but you ended up lashing out at her.

  
\- Yep.

  
The purple-haired woman shakes her head as she chuckles lightly. The truth is that she is glad to see her friend finally recovering her emotional and intense side, as she remembered her before during Dreamcatcher. Bora now seems alive again. She may not be able to dance like before, but her energy seems to be back.

  
\- Uh? Minji? Why are you crying? – the director asks, concerned.

  
There are tears running through the CEO’s cheeks, her fingers getting wet as she touches her face.

  
\- I- I don’t know?

  
\- Woah – Bora scoots closer and wraps her in a loosely hug – Are you okay? Are you tired or upset?

  
Minji just shakes her head as she chokes a sob. However, there’s a huge smile plastered on her face as she buries her nose in the redhead’s hair.

  
\- I just missed you, silly – she mumbles between sobs.

  
The other woman giggles and tightens the hug, feeling tears in the brink of her eyes. They stay like that for a couple of minutes, enjoying the warmth of their hug, until the purple-haired woman pulls away slightly and looks at her:

  
\- Talk to Siyeon. Even if she doesn’t open up herself, talk to her about how you felt and how you’re feeling now.

  
Just when the woman was going to nod and answer her friend, someone knocks on the door. The CEO wipes her tears away and gives permission to open it, a staff member peeking through it:

  
\- Yoohyeon just got first place on The Show today-

  
\- YOOH?! – both women jump from her seats.

  
\- Yes, the results are out and she was given the trophy already.

  
\- Have you recorded it? – Minji asks.

  
\- Yes.

  
\- Oh my… We need to celebrate, Minji! – the director says as she grabs the other woman’s arm and shakes it excitedly.

  
\- Yes! – she smiles and then looks at the staff member – Do you know when is she coming back to the company?

  
\- In an hour or so, depending on the traffic… Do you want me to tell her to come to your office when she does?

  
\- Yes please!

  
It doesn't take long for the tall woman to arrive at the company with the trophy still in her hands, as if she didn't believe it was real or afraid to let it go in case it vanished. She doesn't need the staff member to tell her to go to the CEO's office, as she heads straight there when the elevator doors open, almost running through the hallways of the company. As soon as the office door closes, Minji's hands are placed at the sides of her face, making the gap between their lips disappear. The kiss is intense, full of love and pride, as if the older woman said: "Congratulations, you deserve it." And, although they would like to celebrate the win in privacy, they also would like to celebrate it with their friends by inviting them for a couple of beers. So they tell everyone, including Siyeon and her sister, to join them at the usual bar.

  
An hour later, the singer and the producer arrive together at the door of the bar where Handong, the couple and Bora are waiting for them. Siyeon's little sister is still on the way, as she was in the library when she was notified about the little party. And although the atmosphere is joyful, Yubin and the others notice a slight tension in the air between the director and Siyeon. As they see how Bora starts to approach the singer, the auburn one pats the woman on the back and leaves her side to join the rest of the members:

  
\- Remember what we talked about – they whisper before leaving.

  
The redhead comes closer and she drifts her eyes from the floor to the black-haired gaze before speaking:

  
\- I’m sorry for being an idiot before.

  
\- Yeah… I don’t know what happened to you back there. But, anyways, thank you for apologizing – she answers neutrally.

  
Bora nods.

  
\- We need to talk… Well, at least, I need to talk to you about some stuff – the smaller woman adds – Maybe, after celebrating Yooh’s first win, if you want to?

  
\- After drinking?

  
\- No, I mean, tomorrow morning – she rushes out – I’ll buy you coffee and we can talk in my office or even in the cafeteria...

  
Siyeon stares at her with some sort of uncertainty and fear colouring her eyes, making the other woman slightly nervous.

  
\- Yeah, I agree, we need to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suayeon ship captain: Kim Minji.
> 
>   
> ANYGAYS, Suayeon admitting emotions here and there, ackowledging that they need to talk... A bit angsty the way they realized that they need to have that talk after months basically being disgustingly romantic/hot for each other.
> 
> And I'm sorry that it's taking me too long to update lately... Uni has been taking 80% of my day time and I'm always tired. Plus, since I spend most of my day in online lessons, my arm left arm has been in pain and some fingers have been numb for a few days now. I wanted to release this new chapter and leave the hang about suayeon there before taking a small break from the computer.
> 
> Also! Go to my twt profile (@queenhwasua) and check the new sci-fi dreamcatcher social media au @localfriend_ and I are writing :D


	28. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE TALK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well...
> 
> Title of the chapter from The Rose - Sorry.
> 
> (Happy late bday, Elisa <3)

The day has not started as Bora expected. The plan was to buy Siyeon coffee and talk to her about yesterday’s issue. However, the second she set foot in the company, a staff member told her that she should prepare for a meeting with representatives from another company. And, at this moment, instead of being in her office fixing that mess, she is in the meeting room waiting with Minji for said representatives.

  
Bora holds her cell phone in her hands, wondering how to apologize for the sudden change in plans. She should do it before the meeting starts and maybe ask to meet her later throughout the day. It's going to be more difficult though, since Siyeon has millions of things to do for sure.

  
\- You are weirdly quiet. Don’t you have questions about who we’re meeting? – the CEO speaks up.

  
\- Sorry… I was just trying to figure out a way to apologize to Siyeon…

  
\- Didn’t you already?

  
\- Nope…

  
\- I thought you did since yesterday you were chatting at the bar and you were YET AGAIN eye-fucking each other.

  
\- I apologized, but not properly. I have to explain her everything. We were supposed to have coffee together this morning, but you decided to schedule a meeting without telling me until this morning – she eyes her friend.

  
\- I’m sorry about that, Bora – Minji pouts – I was going to tell you yesterday, but we started talking about you two and then Yooh’s win… I got carried away and totally forgot.

  
\- It’s okay - Bora sighs – I will try to talk to her later in the evening.

  
\- Yeah, it’d be impossible during the day, she has a packed schedule today if I remember correctly.

  
Bora just nods. After all, debuting requires a lot of preparation and it get’s really busy within the last days before the debut stage, so she will even understand if the singer doesn’t want to meet her later.

  
\- Anyways… - the redhead opens her folder – Tell me about the meeting.

  
\- Okay – the CEO hums thoughtfully - Mr. Kim, our shareholder, has a company. Actually, his share of stocks is under the name of his company.

  
\- Okay?

  
\- The company has a new CEO since a couple of years, and they want to meet to… join forces? They haven’t specified exactly what their plans are, but they want to meet our board-

  
\- So, you and me-

  
\- Yes, and talk to us about our possible future together.

  
\- I see. So, Mr. Kim is coming today with the new board of his company.

  
\- Yes, with RBW’s directive board.

  
As if summoned, a small knock on the door interrupts the conversation to welcome four people into the room. The staff that had led the group in excuses herself and closes the door after exiting the room, leaving both groups alone. Bora, who hasn’t had time to study the members of the company's directive board, is stunned by the visit, while Minji finds it hard to get the words out of her mouth:

  
\- I-… Welcome, p-please, take a seat – she smiles awkwardly, stuttering.

  
\- It’s a pleasure to meet the two women that have made Happy Face Company grow successfully.

  
The woman who speaks is nothing more than the person who inspired Bora throughout her artistic life, the person in whom she has been reflected thousands of times: Solar. When the director felt slighted by her inexhaustible energy on stage or felt she was a burden on her group, seeing Solar made her feel partly understood. The strong woman was not only a source of energy and serotonin for the redhead, she was and still is for many women. But the best thing was not seeing her in front of her: the best thing was seeing her and Moon Byul, one of the most recognized songwriters in the industry, who broke many social standards. The director couldn’t believe her luck today.

  
\- The pleasure is ours – Bora manages to say softly, smiling at the two women.

  
\- CEO Kim, Director Kim – Mr. Kim greets – These are CEO Moon and Director Kim, better known as Moonbyul and Solar. Then, this is my colleague CEO Kim.

  
\- Too many Kims in this meeting – one of the women laughs – You can call me Yongsun.

  
\- Yeah, you can just call us by our names, that’s totally fine – Byul nods.

  
Both Bora and Minji nod along with her, still unsure on how to proceed with the meeting.

  
\- I’m Minji, and this is Bora – the purple-haired one introduces their names.

  
\- Oh, so Jiu is Minji – Yongsun thinks out loud – And Sua is Bora… Right?

  
\- Yes, that’s correct – the latter one answers shyly.

  
\- You choreographed all Dreamcatcher’s songs, right? – the lively woman keeps asking.

  
\- I-… Well, not all of them-

  
\- Woah, I remember how Wheein couldn’t stop dancing to the Good Night chorus part – Byul chuckles.

  
\- Ah… Wheeinie really got hooked with that song, didn’t she? – Mr. Kim joins the conversation.

  
Bora has only blushed a few times in her life and this is one of them. Still, she tries to control her inner fan girl and takes control of her mind, bringing her “director of the company” side to light to lead the meeting. Both parties begin to exchange information about their respective companies, projects, artists and opinions on the current situation of the industry.

  
\- It’s amazing that a solo artist has been able to win 1st position against some big companies’ groups… - Byul comments when the redhead finishes explaining the achievements.

  
\- The album wasn’t bad at all, but releasing it had some costs – Mr. Kim recalls.

  
\- Yeah, Mr. Park, one of our shareholders, left and also sold information about Yoohyeon to the media – Minji explains, a sad tone tainting her voice.

  
\- Did he sell information about her solo debut? – Yongsun asks.

  
Bora looks at her friend, who is a bit reluctant to talk about this subject, so she decides to pick her words properly before daring to answer. But, before she can even articulate a word about it, Mr. Kim jumps in:

  
\- He thinks he is better than them, and he basically tried to ruin Yoohyeon’s solo debut because the CEO didn’t want to comply his demands.

  
\- You were at that meeting, weren’t you? – Byul looks at him.

  
\- Yes, I was. And I was about to argue with him when Minji suddenly spoke up and stood for Yoohyeon.

  
\- Oh, wow, risking a major shareholder for an artist that haven’t debuted yet… You have some eggs – Yongsun smirks while looking at the purple-haired woman.

  
\- Well, he was being unreasonable and Yoohyeon really worked hard for her solo, so…

  
A smile full of pride is drawn on the faces of the guests, particularly Yongsun's face, who seems to be delighted with everything related to the small company since she arrived.

  
\- Is Yoohyeon here? I’d like to congratulate her on her win if that’s fine – Mr. Kim smiles warmly at Minji.

  
\- Uh-… Yeah, she must be around, I’ll get her called in – she answers before excusing herself and leaving the room momentarily.

  
It isn't long before both the CEO and the artist enter the meeting room, the latter respectfully greeting the guests. Mr. Kim gets up first and approaches her, the others following him:

  
\- Yoohyeon, congratulations on the first place, you totally deserved it – he says.

  
\- Thank you so much, Mr. Kim. Without your support, I wouldn’t have achieved such a milestone.

  
\- He was really excited when he talked about your solo debut – Yongsun beams at her – Nice meeting you, by the way.

  
They all get into a conversation about music, about the solo album of the tall woman and about music genres. The redhead tells how they had struggled to get said album out and how Yoohyeon worked so hard during promotions. The purple-haired woman stays a bit out from the conversation, watching her lively and excited former members speak animatedly. It is then that Byul takes advantage of both Bora and Yongsun’s loudness and approaches her to speak more intimately with her:

  
\- I’m really looking forward to strengthening our relationship as CEOs. I hope we can work together as soon as possible.

  
\- Yeah, that would be great – Minji nods.

  
\- Actually – the other woman faces her – I was planning to ask you to come over to my place to have dinner some other day.

  
The proposal catches the CEO a bit off guard, who is hesitant for a moment how to respond. Byul, noticing the uncertainty in the woman's features, clarifies:

  
\- It’s just a friendly dinner – she smiles – Mr. Kim has been talking about you and how we resemble each other…

  
The CEO of RBW glances at the gray-haired woman who’s talking with the rest of the guests before looking back at Minji.

  
\- You can also bring your partner if you have one.

  
\- Uh… I don’t und-

  
\- Just bring whoever you want. I’ll tell my assistant to give you the exact address when we settle for a day to meet – she winks.

  
The purple-haired woman smiles shyly and, as the guests bid their goodbyes, she bows respectfully before going back to her spot to gather her stuff. And, even if the meeting went well, there’s something bugging Minji. Why did Byul's gaze go to Yoohyeon for an instant when she talked about her being able to bring a date to dinner? Although she wasn't concerned that the former Mamamoo member knew of their relationship, she is worried that she and her girlfriend are so obvious outside the safety of the four walls of their home. Also, this is Byul's first time seeing her partner. The only one who has had time to notice something strange between them is Mr. Kim. And if Mr. Kim has noticed something, other shareholders or untrustworthy workers may have also noticed.

  
Maybe that's why Mr. Park sold that information on Yoohyeon.

  
\- Babe – her girlfriend calls.

  
\- Yeah?

  
\- Are you okay? You seemed lost at the end of the meeting – the director asks and Yoohyeon nods in agreement.

  
\- Didn’t you sleep well last night? – the taller woman keeps asking.

  
\- I’m fine, I swear, I was just enjoying the conversation from the outside – she smiles, trying to brush it off.

  
Bora knows her friend too well to buy her excuse but decides to let it go. Minji probably doesn't want to talk about it for now, so she'll try to ask her privately later.

  
The director's day passed without a single moment of rest, meeting Siyeon several times in the hallways and apologizing to her each time for delaying their pending conversation. Not that the singer had much more time to stop and talk calmly with her, so in one of those meetings the black-haired woman quickly told her to meet at her house when the redhead finished her scheduled work. Thus, Bora finds herself emerging from the subway station near the Lee sisters' apartment at nightfall. She has already sent Siyeon a message telling her that she is near her house and she is slowly heading there, her steps getting heavier as she gets closer. It is true that the director should explain what happened and be honest with the other woman, but this time being honest and opening up to her is something harder to do because she has come to accept her feelings for her and Siyeon… Siyeon doesn’t do feelings very well. So, telling her how she feels might be a bit of a hard ride tonight.  
She soon reaches the door of her house and rings the bell, the other woman opening the door.

  
\- Hi – the black-haired woman smiles softly – Come in.

  
The redhead enters the well-known apartment and goes to the living room, where she hopes to find the other sister, but to her surprise she is not there.

  
\- Isn’t Gahyeon at home?

  
\- She is visiting my parents – the singer answers as she goes through her fridge and fishes out two bottles of beer – Thank you for coming all the way here, you must be tired.

  
\- I’m sure you are more tired than I am, you have been working non-stop on your debut – the director says as she takes one of the beers that Siyeon is offering her.

  
\- Well… I’ve never thought all this would be THIS tiring. – she huffs as she flops down on the couch, the redhead joining her - How did you manage to survive? You even had choreos…

  
\- We were exhausted after all the promotion period, just like Yoohyeon was couple of days ago. But we all like music and performing, so it wasn’t as hard as it could have been.

  
Both women fall into a tense silence, knowing that the time has come to have that conversation that they have been postponing.

  
\- Siyeon… I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday after lunch. I… I don’t know what got me.

  
\- I still don’t understand why your mood made a 180º turn.

  
\- I think… I think I got stupidly jealous? It’s never happened to me before and I didn’t like it. I’m not that kind of person. Plus, we are not even together…

  
The singer frowns.

  
\- Were you jealous of Naeun?

  
\- I think so, yeah – Bora takes a sip of her beer, trying to buy some seconds to think about her words – I don’t know… You were so happy to see her, she even called you by a pet name… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.

  
\- She is my ex and we haven’t seen each other in a lot of time. Of course I was happy to see her.

  
The redhead's head turns towards the woman immediately upon hearing that and a huge weight rests on her chest. She tries to get the words out of her mouth, but they seem to be stuck in her throat, forming a knot. Siyeon's gaze, which was fixed on her, drifts away and a deep snort comes out of her:

  
\- Naeun is a very dear person to me, although we are not together anymore. She taught me to love. We went through a lot together. We may not be together anymore, but I was happy to see that she is doing well – the black-haired woman lays back – If you were jealous, why didn’t you tell me when I asked you back in the company?

  
\- I-… - a croaked voice comes out of the smaller woman – I didn’t know why I was acting like that and I was mad at myself but ended up lashing out at you. I have no rights to be jealous of-

  
\- Yes, you have no rights to do so.

  
Siyeon's words add more weight to her chest, the redhead propping herself up with her elbows on her knees and staring at the ground, defeated. Bora takes one, two, and three breaths, and when she’s about to explain it further, the other woman speaks again:

  
\- I thought you were going to be honest with me the whole time.

  
\- Well, I try to be honest with you all the time, but how can I be honest with you if I can’t be honest with myself sometimes? – she sniffs, burying her face between her hands.

  
\- Bora, calm-

  
\- I like you Siyeon. A lot – she blurts out as she meets her gaze – But it took me a lot of time to accept that. And I know that I don’t have any rights to get jealous and be mad, but I couldn’t help it at that moment. After seeing you with Naeun I realized that maybe the time to tell you that I like you, that I want more than just this casual relationship, had passed. I panicked because maybe I have come to accept this part of myself too late.

  
\- Hey…-

  
\- I have never been with a woman, I have never liked a woman and I have never considered that possibility. And now I have not only slept with a woman, not only have I knelt in front of her, but I have also realized that I want to be with her - she breathes deep – But I hurt you, because I’ve been dumb enough to try to convince myself that this was just for fun and nothing else, because I tried to lie to myself and deny that I can actually like women as I like men.

  
A hand comes to her cheek, wiping the tears that wet her cheeks, soothing her. The singer strokes her hair and studies her carefully, as if trying to find an answer in the other woman's eyes.

  
\- Do you want to know why Naeun and I broke up?

  
Bora is a bit startled by the sudden question, but nods anyways, because it’s rare that the black-haired woman opens up about her past or her feelings.

  
\- Things are not so easy when you date a person of your same gender. Naeun and I spent our entire relationship hiding, always alert in case someone saw us kissing, nowhere safe to show how much we loved each other and cared. That ended up damaging the relationship and I was so tired of putting up with that shit that I told her to cut our relationship. With my other ex-girlfriend it was no different.

  
The redhead waits for Siyeon to keep talking.

  
\- Do you really want that? Do you really want to hide? I know I don’t want to go back to that. I hurt the person I cared about because the pressure of being together took the worst out of me. And I don’t want to hurt you too – at this point, the singer is having trouble to word out everything without letting out some sobs – I like you too, Bora, for fucks sake. I like it when we are together, I like how I feel when I’m with you. But I’m not prepared to have a relationship with anyone right now. I don’t think I want to go over all that stuff again.

  
\- Siyeon… - the smaller woman places a hand on top of the one that was caressing her cheek – I understand your fear, I have seen the same kind of fear in Minji and Yoohyeon. But still, look at them: they communicate and work things out pretty well. You are now more mature and you have your own space, your own safe place-

  
\- Still -

  
\- You can’t run away from your feelings for life, Siyeon. Look at me, I tried, but ended up hurting you – Bora chuckles sourly – Even if we don’t end up being something more, you will have to face this same situation at some point in your life.

  
The black-haired woman stays silent, taking in the words from the other woman. Siyeon is terrified of relationships and what they entail, but she can't deny that the redhead is right about many things. And she also cannot deny that she would love to do so many things with Bora that she does not dare to do because they are supposed to be couple things that you don’t do with friends.

  
\- Bora… - she huffs – I-… I don’t know what to say. I mean, you are right, I can’t run away from what I feel, but at the same time I don’t want to risk what I already have with you –

  
\- You know this situation can’t last long because we will end up hurting each other.

  
\- I know. I know… - Siyeon snorts and lays her head on the redhead’s shoulder – Can you give me some time to sort things out in my head?

  
The woman smiles softly and the hand she had on top of hers travels to the woman's black hair, stroking it carefully.

  
\- Of course.

  
\- And… Can you stay tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I want suayeon to be together
> 
> Also me: .... unless???? *eyes*
> 
> ANYGAYS
> 
> Messy Suayeon. Worried Minji. Hints everywhere for the next chapters.
> 
> During the whole fic I tried to talk about problems that queer people often face on a daily basis and how they try to break a wall that society has built around sexuality and gender. I hope all of you found this fic relatable so far ^^
> 
> Also, I wished I had that good relationship with my exs lmao Siyeon best girl wbk


	29. Take me to church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minji and her dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS AND HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE <3
> 
> (some jiyoo delivery for Angie <3)
> 
> Take me to church by Hozier ^^

Things are hectic at the company. Siyeon's debut is very soon and everyone can be seen running from one side to other: Jin has not put down his phone since this morning, the designers are still giving the final stitch on the black pants that the singer is going to wear, the makeup team preparing their briefcases and deciding which color will define the color palette, … All in a hectic pace. Yoohyeon bets her friend must be nervous too.

  
Yubin and the tall woman walk through the corridors of the company after a long morning recording song guides for other artists. Although Yoohyeon's solo has reported more profit than expected, it is still not enough to reduce the number of songs sold to other artists from other companies.

  
\- I didn’t remember that recording guides was this tiring… - the gray-haired woman whines, getting a light chuckle from the producer.

  
\- Well, at least it’s not boring.

  
\- I know, but still… Singing for hours… - Yoohyeon huffs – By the way, Yubs…

  
\- Huh?

  
\- Have you talked to other people about your… ?

  
\- My…?

  
\- You know, being non-binary… – the tall woman tries to say in a lower volume.

  
\- Ah… Not really. I didn’t have the time nor the will to do so.

  
\- It’s okay, you need your time – their friend smiles softly, trying to not pressure the auburn one.

  
\- I know… But I should at least tell Siyeon, since I’m working with her and she’s also my friend…

  
\- Siyeon is very open minded, I don’t think there’s gonna be any problem from her side – Yoohyeon nods.

  
Both friends are deep in their conversation when Yubin suddenly stops in their tracks. The tall woman looks at them strangely and follows their line of sight until she meets the reason for their change of mood. In front of the company elevator there is a man well into his 50s with a suitcase, and he looks lost while glancing around, like he is looking for someone familiar.

  
\- Isn’t he… Minji’s dad? – the auburn one dares to whisper.

  
Yoohyeon just nods. What is her girlfriend's father doing there? The worst feeling takes place in her mind as she sees the sad expression of the man, so she decides to approach him little by little, her friend staying behind to give them privacy.  
The woman gets closer and when their gazes meet, the man's eyes widen, as if he has seen some hope at the end of the dark tunnel. Yoohyeon still doesn't know what to expect from his visit nor does she know what to say to him when she stands in front of him. Minji's father knows who she is, knows the nature of her relationship with his daughter, and she is scared of the reaction he might have after seeing her there. However, to her surprise, the man smiles sadly at her and offers her his hand:

  
\- It’s been a while since I last saw you, Yoohyeon.

  
The latter takes his hand:

  
\- Since our last promotion as Dreamcatcher, right? – she answers back.

  
\- Yes. How have you been? I’ve seen you all over the news with your new song.

  
The conversation is more pleasant and friendly than the woman expected.

  
\- I’ve been busier than usual, that’s for sure. I’m happy that everything is over now and I can rest a bit.

  
\- You deserve a break. Thank you for your hard work.

  
\- Thank you, sir – she smiles at his words – Then tell me, how can I help you?

  
\- I-… I was looking for my daughter… - his words sound sadder now as he tries to get them out, like if he had a knot in his throat – I need to talk to her… Do you happen to know if she is here?

  
\- She is, sir. Shall I walk you to her office? – she asks politely.

  
\- Please.

  
The man picks up his suitcase before walking next to Yoohyeon, who makes a sign to Yubin to indicate that she would call them later. As they walk quietly, the tall woman watches from the corner of her eye how Minji's father seems to be holding back his tears, the man taking quiet but shaky breaths few times. Yoohyeon doesn't quite know what to do, because it's not that she has a very close relationship with him: she has only seen him at the backstage of some concerts and in the audience at some festivals, and they have exchanged some cordial words, but not much more than that. The walk seems longer than usual, and the gray-haired woman is thankful when they finally stop at the CEO's office door. She knocks on the door twice before opening it, finding her girlfriend reunited with Bora and a manager of the company.

  
\- Hi guys, um-… Can I have a moment with the CEO? It’s important – she asks, looking at the other two women that were talking with said woman.

  
Bora looks at Minji, who is a bit surprised by her partner's sudden urgency.

  
\- Jiyeon, I think you can go and run those tasks we talked about and then inform us how it went – the redhead nods at the manager, who nods in return.

  
She then waits for the manager to leave the room before looking at the tall woman:

  
\- It has to be quick, Yooh, we really need to solve these things today – the director comments before standing up.

  
However, when walking towards the door, Bora sees a man standing behind the gray-haired woman and recognizes him immediately, causing her to stop and turn to look at her friend again:

  
\- Minji… I think I’m gonna make some calls about what we talked about. We can meet later-

  
\- But Bora, we need to do this tog-

  
\- Minji – she stops her – I think you are going to need more than a few minutes. I can handle the calls, don’t worry.

  
After saying those words, she looks at Yoohyeon with concern and puts a hand on her shoulder, while a sigh leaves her lips. The director greets Minji's father politely before disappearing down the hallway of the company. Then, the tall woman opens the door even more, giving way to the man, who enters the room and puts the suitcase on one side of the door.

  
\- DAD?!

  
\- Hi, sweetie – he greets quietly – I’m sorry for coming without letting you know, I know you must be busy…

  
\- It’s okay, dad – the CEO smiles at him as she goes to hug him – Is mom here too?

  
Yoohyeon sees how the expression of peace that the father had when her girlfriend hugged him changes to that sad expression that he has worn all this time and once again that bad omen resounds in her head. She knows that the purple-haired woman's heart is going to be broken again. The tall woman decides to leave the office to let them have some privacy, but her steps are stopped by the man:

  
\- Please, Yoohyeon, stay with us.

  
The CEO smiles widely when she hears how her father wants her partner to be present, but there is something that doesn’t click: the other woman's facial expression and how her father usual cheerful voice is lower and softly than usual.

  
\- Dad? Where’s mom? – she insists, her smile never fading but now colored with a sad feeling.

  
\- She hasn’t come with me today – he answers, his words sounding troubled.

  
\- Oh… Well, I should have known that, because last time I checked she still doesn’t want to talk to me – she awkwardly laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

  
Watching this scene is harder than Yoohyeon has thought. Her eyes never stop traveling between Minji and her father, and she can see how the CEO slowly realizes what her father's visit really means.

  
\- Are you staying in Seoul for long? Your suitcase looks heavy, how did you carry this through the city without help? As expected from you, still the strongest dad in the world – her voice breaks a bit, but Minji keeps trying to be on the positive side.

  
\- Minji… - the gray-haired woman can’t take it anymore – Please…

  
\- Your mother doesn’t want me at home – he sniffs back some tears, finally confirming what the tall woman has been thinking all this time.

  
\- W-what do you mean? – The CEO asks, knowing the answer already.

  
\- She-… She doesn’t want me there anymore.

  
Minji's face changes radically reflecting her sadness and anger, but she takes a deep breath to keep from breaking.

  
\- What happened? - she asks cautiously.

  
\- She’s been angry at me for a while now… I- … She says that I’m crazy because I still talk to you… - he explains through his tears – But you are my only daughter, and you did nothing w-wrong. How can she ask me to not talk to you?

  
The two women frown at that, the tall woman’s jaw tightening.

  
\- And… do you have a place to stay or…? – the CEO keeps asking lowly, her voice wobbly.

  
His father shakes his head, his gaze fixed on the ground.

  
\- You can stay with us, sir – Yoohyeon jumps in.

  
The purple-haired woman’s head snaps towards her girlfriend and looks at her in disbelief. She silently mouthes some words, making sure that the gray-haired one is fine with that, and she gets a firm nod from her.

  
\- I don’t want to bother you, I can stay in a hotel until I find an apartment –

  
\- Don’t be silly, dad, you are not a problem for us. We have a guest room, so you can stay there as long as you need – Minji’s chokes out, not being able to hold her tears back anymore.

  
\- It’s not fair, honey, you should have your own space for yourself, your own privacy, I-

  
\- Sir, it’s okay – the tall woman approaches them and places a hand on his shoulder reassuringly – Actually, we can go home whenever you are ready. You must be tired, I’m sure you’d like to have a warm drink.

  
The CEO is weirdly fascinated by the situation. Yes, it is true that she feels equally guilty and angry because her mother has kicked her father out of their house, but seeing how this has resulted in her father and Yoohyeon finally interacting as father-in-law and daughter-in-law makes this disastrous situation a bit warmer.

  
\- Yooh, do you have anything scheduled for this afternoon? – Minji’s voice is still croaky as she wipes out some of the tears that escaped her eyes.

  
\- I was supposed to record some guide songs, but I’m sure Yubin will understand the situation if I re-schedule it for tomorrow – she smiles at her.

  
\- Thank you. Seriously, thank you – the purple-haired woman’s hand reaches hers and squeezes it.

  
Yoohyeon notices how the man is staring at their joined hands and she lets Minji’s hand free, taking a step back while clearing her throat, clearly a bit uncomfortable. Her father stays silent and drifts his eyes to the floor again.

  
\- Uh-… I’ll call Yubin on the way… Shall we go, sir?

  
\- Yes, sure – he answers quietly.

  
\- I will try to go home as soon as possible – Minji adds, aware of the awkward situation.

  
\- Okay, see you there then – the tall woman smiles lightly.

  
As they both leave her office, the CEO walks over to her couch and flops onto it, a snort coming from her chest as her back rests on the backrest. She reaches into her pocket to fish her phone out and quickly texts the redhead to return to her office to finish the problem at hand as soon as possible. It doesn't take long for the director to enter the office without knocking, folder in hand.

  
\- How did it go? – Bora asks as she takes the seat on the other side of the room, leaving the folder on Minji’s desk next to her.

  
\- It went? I don’t know. I have mixed feelings.

  
\- Mixed feelings?

  
\- My father was kicked out by my mom and now has to stay with us.

  
\- That doesn’t sound like a “mixed feelings” situation thing, Minji. I would be mostly angry – her friend scoffs – Why was he kicked out?

  
\- My mom doesn’t like that he keeps talking to me.

  
\- And why the mixed feelings?

  
\- Because, I don’t know why, but I feel like this is my fault. And I feel angry too. And… I’m a bit happy that Yoohyeon was the one that offered him to stay with us – she chuckles dryly.

  
\- Oh, Yooh did? - the redhead shakes her head at that – Oh my… It’s gonna be so awkward to have your dad at your place…

  
\- I know… But he doesn’t have a place yet. He will stay with us until he can find somewhere to move in.

  
\- I don’t understand why your mother keeps being such a bitch about you.

  
\- She is very conservative, Bora… She was educated that way. I should have known better when I came out, I guess.

  
\- No, Minji. No one in their right mind can understand how she can just delete you from her life… Her own daughter! Wasn’t she raised to love her daughter too?

  
The purple-haired woman huffs for the umpteenth time now and runs a hand through her hair.

  
\- Bora… most grown-ups don’t understand this because they were taught to hate it. And even if they try, like my dad, they will certainly be uncomfortable with it – Minji breaks as tears run down her face again – I can’t hate my mom because she is living her life accordingly to what she has learned earlier in her lifetime. She hasn’t been a bad mom during my whole life, it’s just now…

  
\- Jesus, Minji, you have the right to be angry at her because you haven’t done any harm to anyone. Yes, she might have been taught to live that way, but it isn’t like her daughter is a murderer. She should be smart enough to see that you aren’t doing anything bad.

  
Even though she knows her friend is right, the CEO can't shake the guilt out of her mind. After all, her father doesn't have a roof to stay under because her mother hates her enough to reject anyone who sympathizes with her.

  
\- Minji – Bora calls – Leave it behind. Let’s focus on the issue we were handling before so you can go home as soon as possible.

  
\- Yes – she sniffs and stands up to go behind her desk – Let’s get back to work.

  
By the time Minji gets home it is already dark. She leaves her things near the entrance and goes to the living room, where she can hear the TV on. There she sees her girlfriend, wrapped in a blanket and sleepy, with her glasses already on and without makeup. The woman approaches her and sits next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and hugging her with it.

  
\- Why aren’t you in bed? – she asks quietly as she buries her nose in her hair.

  
\- I was waiting for you – she answers yawning – Did you get to solve that thing?

  
\- Yeah… It took us more time than expected, but we managed… How did it go with my dad?

  
\- Oh… he ate dinner and went to bed pretty soon. He was very polite and nice, to be honest. But he was also clearly uncomfortable.

  
\- I can imagine…

  
\- Yeah. I guess it’s going to take some time until he gets more comfortable around me. Good thing is that he made some bibimbap for dinner and we had dinner together – the tall woman chuckles – He wouldn’t stop complaining about how we barely have food in our fridge.

  
\- Ah… I guess we should start going to grocery shopping and being normal grown-ups now that my dad is here… - Minji huffs jokingly.

  
This makes Yoohyeon laugh lightly, which helps the CEO to cheer up.

  
\- Anyways, Yooh… I don’t know how to thank you for coping with this mess… First, I outted you, and now my dad gets kicked out and lives with us… I-

  
\- Babe, surely this is not the future I pictured when you asked me to move in together, but I’m happy that we can help your dad when he is in trouble. And I’m also happy that he came to us to ask for help.

  
\- Why?

  
\- Because that means that he actually thinks nicely about us.

  
Minji sadly hums at that.

  
\- Did Bora say anything about this? – the gray-haired woman asks curiously – She looked a bit surprised when she saw your dad.

  
\- She was angry at my mom’s attitude.

  
\- Angry Bora is not fun.

  
\- Oh, well, angry Bora is not fun, but she is excellent at her job.

  
\- How’s that?

  
\- Well – the CEO chuckles – She was very angry after I told her about my parents, but she weirdly pulled out every contract pretty well. I guess people is scared of her emo and dark side.

  
\- I wouldn’t like to face angry Bora ever, to be honest.

  
\- You already did, babe, several times.

  
\- And I would like to not do it again.

  
The room is filled with laughter and when both women got lost in their conversation, there’s a cough that breaks the mood. As both see Minji’s dad in the other side of the room in his pajamas and with a robe on, they split their snuggly position in the couch and the purple-haired one slides further from her girlfriend.

  
\- Dad, did we wake you up? – the CEO asks, worried.

  
\- No, honey, don’t worry. I wasn’t asleep – he gets closer to the couch – I heard your voice and wondered if you had dinner already. We left some bibimbap in the fridge if you are hungry.

  
The daughter smiles at the gesture of affection shown by her father and just when she gets up to go to the kitchen, her father speaks again:

  
\- Don’t worry, Minji. Stay there. I bet you are tired from work. I will get it for you.

  
He makes a pause, like if he is thinking his next words before speaking up:

  
\- Yoohyeon and I can sit here with you while you eat, so you don’t have dinner alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genuinely got emotional while writing this one.
> 
> Even though all the struggles told in this fic are real, this particular one was told to me by one of my closest friends and the situation is way worse than the one jiyoo and minji's dad are facing...
> 
> ANYGAYS, 
> 
> I will answer back your previous comment ASAP


	30. How to love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love me ‘cause I’m so insecure. Just give me love, give me love. Even if I pretend to be an adult, I'm still awkward when it comes to love.  
> If u just give me some time, if you stay by my side, I may learn how to love you. (How to love - Hatfelt)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // sex below the line, skip it if you dont like it <3

The night is becoming endless for her. Since Bora last slept at her place, Siyeon hasn't slept for more than two hours straight. Her head is full of things that annoy her and wake her up again and again.

  
Will she be able to impress the public?

  
Will she be good enough for them?

  
Will she be able to give Bora the answer she wants?

  
Will she be able to give Bora an answer at all?

  
All these unanswered questions are too noisy.

  
The singer turns and, in the dark, she looks for her phone, feeling with her hand on the nightstand next to her bed. The screen lights up, eliciting a grunt from the dazzled woman. It's 6 in the morning.

  
\- Cool… - she huffs.

  
Her alarm goes off in half an hour.

  
After spending most part of the night staring at the ceiling of her room, Siyeon gives up and decides to get up and start her day. She doesn't put much effort into eating breakfast, just making herself a coffee and drinking it while standing next to the kitchen sink. Avoiding making much noise to not wake up her little sister, she showers and dresses in something comfortable to leave the house when it is just dawn.

  
The black-haired woman arrives at the company a short time later and goes directly to the room where the staff is starting to work. It doesn't take long for Jin to arrive as well, wearing a face that reflects a mix of exhaustion and excitement. Siyeon laughs at the scene in front of her, realizing that she may not have been the only one who hasn't had much sleep.

  
\- Good morning! – her manager greets – You are early, Siyeon.

  
\- I couldn’t sleep anymore.

  
\- I guess you are feeling at least as nervous as I do – he chuckles.

  
\- I guess so – she smiles at his sincerity – Shall we head to the hairdresser then?

  
\- Let me phone them because it’s still a bit early and they might not be ready. Go get some snacks for the ride while I get confirmation from their side.

  
The singer nods and does as she has been told. She walks down the corridor of the empty company towards the break room, but a sporadic sound catches her attention behind her. Siyeon turns around and looks at the opening elevator doors, a smile playing on her face as she sees the sleepy person getting out of it.

  
\- What are you doing here so early? – she laughs – Plus, isn’t this your day off?

  
\- Well, I actually asked Minji and Bora to give the day off so I can go with you to Music Bank today – Yubin answers back.

  
\- What? Why?

  
\- Because when we debuted as Dreamcatcher, we cheered each other in the changing room and we could perform well because we had each other’s back. So, I figured out that you could use some cheering from yours truly.

  
\- I could use some, for sure – Siyeon smiles fondly – We are going to head to the hairdresser though, are you sure you want to come all the way there?

  
\- Dude, I’m already here, of course I’m going to the hairdresser with you.

  
Between the producer's advices for the stage, Jin's dad jokes, and the hairdresser scolding him every time he gets something silly out from his mouth, the morning passes quickly and in the blink of an eye, Siyeon finds herself in the middle of the dressing room, with the stylists around her giving a few last lace-ups to her black denim jacket, laying the wire of her in-ears properly and through her dark and alternative clothes and buttoning her long military boots. When the singer looks in the mirror, she sees how her eyes seem bigger and more intense thanks to the dark makeup around them, her lips look fuller and her hair is wild, giving her an aura of a dangerous person. Or rather free.

  
A free person.

  
She likes the style of her clothes and her look, similar to the ones she wore on the day of her audition, but much more stylish and newer. Although her visual concept may not match the standard, she wouldn’t change this just to better suit the public. While it is true that she wants to make a good impression on stage, she also wants to show herself as she is, with her own style and music.

  
\- Looking good, Si.

  
Both Yubin, who was sitting in one of the chairs in the dressing room, and Siyeon turn towards the door to see who has just entered, recognizing the sweet voice. All the stylists greet respectfully the new incomer, having finished already the singer’s outfit and started tidying up the room.

  
\- Yooh! You came – Siyeon greets with a wide smile.

  
\- Finally. I thought you were going to join us before we finished at the hairdresser – the producer says.

  
\- Yes! I’m sorry for being this late… I had breakfast with – she makes a pause, looking around the room full of staff – You know. And it got really late.

  
Yoohyeon knows that the singer might not get anything of what she just said, but she knows that Yubin will know what she is talking about. Although the taller woman wants to tell Siyeon what’s going on, this is not the moment nor the time to do so.

  
\- ANYWAYS – she speaks up again – Are you nervous, Ms Lee Siyeon?

  
\- Why are you asking her THAT? – the auburn facepalms.

  
\- Because even I was nervous when I solo debuted – Yoohyeon shrugs.

  
\- Well… Not gonna lie, I haven’t been able to sleep much these past days… - the black-haired woman laughs awkwardly, scratching her nape – I want this to be over as soon as possible…

  
\- Ah… the band-aid thing? The sooner you get it off, the better? – the grey-haired woman chuckles and get closer to the singer to whisper her – You can always ask Bora to relieve your stress at home.

  
There’s a spark that runs down Siyeon’s spine, along with a heavy feeling pressed on her chest that makes her huff, this last thing not being unnoticed by her friends. The producer just eyes her, not been able to catch what Yoohyeon said before to her but definitely been able to hear that sad sound. It’s the other one that looks at her in the eye and asks lowly:

  
\- What happened again? I thought you two fixed things?

  
\- We talked, but… She asked something I can’t answer yet.

  
\- Are you talking about…? - the auburn one eyes both women in front of them.

  
Both nod.

  
\- Why can’t you answer? – they keep asking.

  
\- I thought you two sorted things already – Yoohyeon frowns.

  
\- You literally have written a song about it – Yubin states.

  
\- I know, I know. It’s just that… - she sighs and goes to take a seat next to the producer, the grey-haired woman following after her – I’m bit insecure about it. Maybe I’m not shaped for that kind of – she looks around to make sure no one is listening – relationship.

  
\- You mean serious ones? – Yoohyeon questions.

  
\- Yeah. I don’t want to commit to something that I don’t know if I’m going to be able to carry out.

  
\- But you are not the only one carrying it out, you have Bora next to you – Yubin whispers.

  
\- Relationships work whenever all the parts involved work as a team – the tall woman nods.

  
\- I don’t think I’m good enough for Bora… She deserves better, she deserves someone who opens up easier and someone that can put words to their feelings. I’m just a mess. And I don’t want her to carry more weight than she should-

  
\- You are just being plainly dumb – the auburn one huffs, resting her head on the back rest.

  
The singer looks at them in disbelief, but before she can reply, the grey-haired woman jumps in:

  
\- I think what Yubin meant is that if you feel not confident or insecure about something, you should talk it out with her instead of shutting her out or not giving you two a chance. You are just assuming that something is gonna go wrong when you haven’t even tried to be together – she gets closer to Siyeon and keeps saying lowly – You can’t just give up. If you love her-

  
\- I-! I don’t know if I love her! – the other woman shushes.

  
\- Well, if you LIKE her – Yoohyeon rolls her eyes – then be honest. To both of you: be honest with yourself and with her. Bora is a good listener and great at giving advices, so rely on her whenever you need to. I’m sure she will gladly help you, even though the problem is about your relationship.

  
The black-haired woman stays quiet. She knows that what her friends say is not a lie, but she can’t stop thinking about the situation and, in the end, her insecurities take the best of her.

  
\- Siyeon – Yubin calls, snapping her out of her mind – Right now, just focus on the stage.

  
\- You are gonna rock it! I’m 100% sure! – the grey-haired woman cheers.

  
Siyeon smiles lightly and nods at them, laying back on her seat. She stays mute while Yoohyeon goes on about how she felt during her solo debut and how different it was to not be together with Dreamcatcher during those long periods in the changing rooms waiting to go out on stage. A buzz next to her from her phone makes her shift her gaze towards it, her screen lighting up and showing a notification. She takes it and unlocks it before seeing that it’s from her little sister, telling her that her parents are here.

  
In Seoul.

  
In the same building as her.

  
In the crowd in front of the stage.

  
Her family is here to see her debut stage.

  
The singer smiles wide and her hands are shaky.

  
\- What’s up? – the producer asks, sensing the change in her mood.

  
\- My parents and my sister are in the crowd!

  
Both friends look at each other before looking back at the singer.

  
\- Now you really have to crush the stage, Siyeon – the tall woman smirks.

  
So, when the assistant of the show production comes to call her in, she steadies her breathing, closes her eyes for a moment and gets up from her seat. Jin, Yubin and Yoohyeon walk her through the dark corridors of the backstage and before going on stage, they cheer her on with pats on the back and energizing words.

  
When Siyeon puts her first foot on stage, she can hear some noise from the audience. She avoids looking up at them, her eyes fixed on the mic stand. She has rehearsed this a million times, she can't do wrong now. The singer stands in her place and takes a deep breath before looking at the people in front of her. It's a small mixed group, Siyeon would say there’re 30 or 40 people at most. She smiles at them and greets them respectfully, bowing slightly. After that, she scans the small crowd and sees a hand rising between them along with two faces that she recognizes perfectly: they are Gahyeon and her parents. She doesn't have much time to greet them, as the sound and camera crew order her to put stand in her place because the show is about to begin.

  
There is a small cue, and the song begins to play. Siyeon's voice resonates through her in-ear and the singer notices how her body is giving up more and more to the music. The audience notices it too, and when the first chorus comes in, the little crowd cheers up. Siyeon smiles as she sings and as she intonates the last bridge before the final chorus, the day she first sang this song to Bora comes to her mind. That day the same thing happened to her: she started out nervous, but ended up dancing the last chorus with the redhead.

  
When she says the last word of the song's lyrics and the music dies down, an ovation bounces on the set-up walls and the singer greets the audience with gratitude and a big goofy smile. She spots her family in the corner, her sister pointing her phone and her parents giving thumbs up and waving at her. Siyeon feels like she's in heaven right now.

  
\- SIYEON! – Yubin smiles at her when she enters the backstage again.

  
\- YOU DID IT! YOU DEBUTED! – Yoohyeon celebrates too.

  
\- OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FINALLY DID IT! – Jin jumps excited.

  
\- I DID IT! AND MY FAMILY SAW ME! AND I SANG! – she exclaims, joining them.

  
The singer cannot believe that the moment has passed, that she is now officially an artist. In her dressing room, the staff won't stop congratulating her on her performance and she can't stop smiling. It is almost nighttime when the show ends and just as the singer sits in the company car with the idea of going back home to rest, already with her casual clothes on, her manager tells her:

  
\- Gahyeon called me.

  
\- She did?

  
\- Yeah, she wants me to drop you at some restaurant in the city center, pretty close to your neighborhood.

  
She just nods, excited to see her family after her performance. It didn't take long to get to the restaurant, the singer getting out of the car after saying goodbye to her manager and her friends and entering the traditional cuisine restaurant. Siyeon can spot easily where her family is sitting, since her sister and mother are not exactly quiet people:

  
\- SINGSING!! – her mom waves.

  
\- God, you are as loud as your younger daughter – she laughs as she approaches them.

  
Her family hugs her and congratulates her over and over again, the smiles never fading from their faces. Soon the waiter arrives to take their order and after toasting with beer, her father begins to comment on the song and its composition. The eldest daughter enjoys listening to her father's opinion, as he, like her, loves music with all his soul, but never had the opportunity to pursue a professional artistic career.

  
\- The MV for the song is so good, your mother took pictures of the computer screen and sent it to your cousins – he says proudly while her mom takes her phone out to show her the low-quality pictures.

  
\- I told them we have to teach them how to do screenshots – Gahyeon laughs.

  
\- I can send you the whole video, mom, so you can watch it whenever you want – Siyeon laughs too.

  
\- Yes, please do! I want to show it to my friends at work too! – her mom says excitedly.

  
\- By the way, Sing, you composed it right? – her father asks.

  
\- Yes.

  
\- And did you write it to?

  
\- Yes, I did.

  
\- Oh – her mother jumps in – But the song talks about a girl…

  
And this is the moment that both Minji and Yubin had warned her about. She takes a deep breath, taking a moment to think about how to respond to her own parents about it.

  
\- Well, Siyeon wanted to express how it must feel to date her, right sis? – her little sister intervenes suddenly while smiling awkwardly.

  
Although Gahyeon has tried to save the situation, Siyeon has remained silent without confirming what she just said, still considering her response. She knows that the right thing to do is to be honest with them, but she doesn't know how to do it or whether to do it now here in the restaurant. The woman doesn’t know how they are going to react and doesn’t want to make a scene the day of her debut.

  
\- Poor guy, he must be regretting letting you go after seeing your video – her dad jokes.

  
\- Actually, dad… - the singer tone is more serious, and her parents sense her mood change – I never dated a guy…

  
\- Oh, honey, that’s totally fine, lots of people don’t start dating until later, so don’t overthink it-

  
\- That’s not what I meant.

  
\- Siyeon, maybe you want to think your words first? -her little sister suggests.

  
The truth is, Siyeon hasn't stopped thinking about it these days. About her decisions, her lifestyle, her song and about Bora. And she is fed up. She is sick of hiding from the people she loves, she is sick of lying, she is sick of lying to herself. She is sick of refusing to enjoy her life as she should. In the end, the redhead was right: she couldn't spend her entire life running from her reality. Which, ironically, is the same thing she told her at the time when Bora didn't want to accept that she could like women too. How cruel fate turning her against something that she herself had advised.

  
\- I know what I’m saying, Gah – she states, looking reassuringly at her sister.

  
\- Siyeon… - her mom mumbles.

  
\- Mom, dad. I’ve never dated a guy because I don’t like men – she surprisingly calmly says.

  
There’s a long silence from her parents, so she decides to keep talking:

  
\- I know it might be shocking, but I can’t change that. So, I’d rather tell you the truth than lie to you.

  
Gahyeon’s mouth drops as her sister finishes talking and doesn’t dare to look at her parents, fearing their reaction. However, to her surprise, her mom speaks up first:

  
\- Oh darling, why didn’t you tell us sooner? – she smiles – I knew all those “good friends” weren’t just friends.

  
\- Uh…? – Siyeon fails to word out something coherent.

  
\- Oh God, one worry less. Now we only have to worry about Gahyeon’s life choices– her father laughs.

  
\- DAD PLEASE – the little sister blushes.

  
\- But - the singer hesitates – Aren’t you mad at me?

  
\- Why would we? We are grateful that you opened up to us – her mom softly says – You are always so reserved and quiet about your feelings, we always struggled to know what was best for you because you didn’t communicate with us at all.

  
\- Yeah, you were either quiet or angry, but we never understood why, no matter how hard we tried to talk to you – her father nods – Maybe we aren’t the best at choosing our words and that’s why we might have given the wrong idea to you, but we would never be upset about the partner you choose. We only want you to be happy, Singsing.

  
Not only Gahyeon is sobbing at this point, but also the older sister can’t hold back her tears. Her mom circles the younger one with one arm, since they are next to each other, and her father kisses the top of Siyeon’s head.

  
\- I’m so happy that you are willing to protect your sister, Gahyeonnie. You are such a good kid; you have grown up so well – her mom beams.

  
Between the tears of joy and the supportive words of the parents, time passes quickly, and dinner finally arrives on the table. No one wastes time and eagerly they begin to eat.

  
\- So, Siyeon – her father calls her – Is there anyone that you like now?

  
\- Oh my God, dad…

  
\- Come on, don’t act like you don’t want to tell us – he laughs.

  
\- Well… There’s someone I’ve been seeing… - she shyly answers.

  
\- I know her! – Gahyeon beams towards her mom, who also is excited.

  
\- Is she a good person, Gah? – her mom asks.

  
\- She definitely is! She makes Siyeon smile a lot.

  
\- Oh, and is she interested in you? – her father keeps asking.

  
\- Uh-… I mean… - she huffs – She is, but I don’t know what to do about it…

  
Her parents look at her, concerned.

  
\- I don’t want to date anyone. It’s complicated and I just debuted… I don’t know if I’m going to be able to be the person she deserves or if I’m even going to be able to open up at all. You just said it: I’m not good at communicating.

  
\- But you can try, Sing. You can learn and establish a communication channel that suits both of you – her mom explains – Your dad and I would always argue when we were younger. You definitely got from him that lack of words in you. But with time, we got to know each other well enough to understand “us”, even without words.

  
\- Yeah. You just need to open up enough to let her get a clue on how to read you – he winks.

  
\- C’mon, Siyeon. You know you like her and she likes you. And I’ve seen your chemistry together – Gahyeon insists.

  
\- Oh, do they have a good chemistry? – her mom looks at her younger daughter.

  
\- Yes! You must meet Bora, she is super cool!

  
The night goes on and Siyeon's family hasn’t stopped having this warm aura since the start of the dinner, which fascinates the woman. She believed that her family rejected her ideas and that they weren’t able to understand her wishes, but she was wrong all this time. The only problem is that she hadn’t been clear enough when they all talked and that wrong idea she had of them had rooted inside her. She missed so many chances to get closer to them, to be happier, just because she couldn’t sit down and listen to them carefully.

  
As they get out of the restaurant and wait for their taxi, Gahyeon scoots closer to her sister:

  
\- So…

  
\- What?

  
\- Now that you are out, are you going to tell Bora you like her?

  
Siyeon buffs.

  
\- I’ve already told you, it’s not that simple.

  
\- Singsing – her mom jumps in with a scolding tone – You know that time passes fast, and you can miss good opportunities if you just sit around waiting for a miracle.

  
\- But mom-

  
\- Siyeon, your mother is right. If you know that you like her, why wasting your time being unhappy instead of starting something new and exciting with the person you like?

  
And that's how Siyeon finds herself in front of Bora's door after midnight. She stares at the door for a few minutes, her hands shaking, wondering whether to ring the bell or not, and finally deciding to do so. It takes about a minute until she can hear the steps of the redhead approaching the door and the click of the door opening.

  
\- Siyeon? – Bora greets with a croaky voice – Is everything fine?

  
The director is wearing a large knee-length t-shirt and her eyes seem to have still some trouble staying open. Clearly, the woman was in the middle of her sleep. At the sight of the woman in front of her, the singer clenches her jaw, her heart pounding her rib cage. There’s no turning back now.

  
\- It’s late, come in. – Bora lets her in and closes the door behind them - I’m sure you must be tired after your debut. By the way, you were gre-

  
\- Yes – Siyeon interrupts.

  
\- Yes? –the redhead asks a bit startled.

  
\- Yes, I’m willing to take the risk too. I’m not going to get carried away by my fears.

  
Bora freezes at her words, her face reflecting surprise and uncertainty.

  
\- I might not be the best at emotions. I might have said I had enough and that I didn’t want serious relationships anymore, but… I actually want more. With you. So, if you just give me some time, I can learn how to… I can learn how to love you.

* * *

  
The last words are almost a whisper, but the redhead hears them perfectly and melts at the sight of a shy Siyeon opening up wide. So, she doesn't think much about it when she reaches up to grab her shirt and pull her towards herself, crashing their lips together. The singer answers back and manages to follow the passionate rhythm of the kiss, her hands traveling down the lower back of the other woman, outlining both ass cheeks and ending at the back of her thighs. Without breaking the kiss, Siyeon picks up the redhead, who immediately wraps her legs around her waist. The black-haired woman carries her up to her bedroom, where she sits her on the edge of the bed and she takes a few steps back, taking off her jacket and tossing it over to the chair in the corner of the room. To the delight of the other woman, Siyeon continues to undress, taking off her pants and shirt, staying in her underwear. Bora bites her lower lip at the sight in front of her and suggestively spreads her legs. The singer takes the hint she is giving her and kneels in front of her.

  
Siyeon takes her time, caressing the smooth skin, kissing and nipping the inner sides of both legs, running her hands up and down her thighs, teasing her. She wants to take her time to enjoy this, even if Bora’s hand is running through her dark hair and pulling her towards her center. Since emotions are hard to describe with words, the singer wants to show her the whirlpool of feelings she has inside her chest whenever they are together. Her fingers sneak under her underwear and latch to it, pulling it down her legs. She is about to get the first taste when the redhead pulls her head back by her hair and looks down at her.

  
\- Not fair you still keep your underwear, Si.

  
\- Not fair you still keep your t-shirt on, Bora.

  
The latter smirks at her and doesn’t hesitate to take it off, Siyeon smiling when her breasts were finally uncovered. The singer backs off a bit, unclasping her bra and tossing it in the same direction as the rest of her clothes. Bora signals her to come closer and, as the black-haired woman stands between her legs, she places soft kisses on her abdomen while tugging the last piece of her underwear down. Siyeon looks down at her, the sight familiar to when Bora kneeled in front of her, and feels heat pooling in her lower belly. The singer puts a finger under the redhead’s chin and makes her tilt her head up to meet her lips with hers. She gives her a soft quick kiss and goes back to kneel between her legs, finally diving in her center and first giving long licks to taste her wetness. She increases her pace as Bora’s moans get louder and her nails dig into her scalp. The redhead’s heel is pressed on her back as her whole body starts to tremble and Siyeon gathers some wetness with two fingers before pushing them inside her.

  
\- God, Siyeon… - she moans loud.

  
The black-haired woman matches the pace of her fingers with her tongue’s and it doesn’t take longer for Bora to come around her fingers and in her mouth, falling flat against the mattress after riding out her orgasm. Siyeon climbs up her body while leaving soft pecks on her way. She tries to not overwhelm her by laying by her side, her hand on her abdomen. The singer missed seeing the redhead like this: face blushed up, sweat running down her temple and breathing ragged.  
Bora’s hand goes up to caress her cheek and to pull her down to kiss her deeply, tasting herself on her lips. Her tongue caresses her lips and her teeth trail across her lower lip. The hand that Siyeon had on her abdomen slowly goes down as the kiss gets hotter and frantic. And just as her fingers are tentatively reaching their target, the redhead grabs it, pinning it over her head as she rolls to be on top of her.

  
\- Bora-

  
\- Lemme take control now.

  
\- You never stopped having control – she smirks.

  
\- I know – she smiles back – Go up and rest you head on the pillow, please.

  
The black-haired woman can't deny that she loves it when the other woman takes control and hearing her request turns her on even more. Despite her long day, she somehow feels alive hearing that "please," and she obeys excitedly, gliding until her head touches the pillow. Bora resumes her position on top of her and, burying her face in her neck, whispers:

  
\- Grab the headboard and don’t let go until I say so.

  
Siyeon nods lightly as she feels the redhead bite and lick her earlobe and the skin that covers her jugular. The singer has already started getting aroused while making the other woman come, so what Bora is doing to her now is rather torturous. She closes her eyes and tries to control her breathing as she feels the other woman leaving a path of bites and kisses towards her breasts. When the redhead's lips close around one nipple, she grips the headboard tighter. How ironic to think that the first few times they slept together, Bora found it weird to use her mouth to stimulate the skin there and, the last times they did it, Siyeon's chest always ended up full of marks. The woman is so focused on the other's mouth on her that she is unaware of the hand that has traveled between her legs.

  
\- You are so ready, aren’t you? – Bora mutters against her skin while her fingers play with her sensitive skin there.

  
\- This is pure torture – the singer mumbles between sighs.

  
The redhead chuckles and goes back up to her lips, kissing while pleasuring the small nub with round movements. Siyeon’s moans are drowned in the kiss and her nails scratch Bora’s shoulder blades. At the pain in her back, the other woman is tempted to bite down hard on her lip, but she stops herself to do so, because she knows that the singer has to work in front of the cameras tomorrow and Minji would kill her if she had a split in her lip. When Siyeon is so soaked that her wetness makes her fingers slippery, the redhead backs off her and sits on the center of the bed. The black-haired woman complains with a little grunt, but as she turns and looks at the other woman, she comes across a scene she didn't think she was going to see: Bora is licking her soaked fingers. The latter smiles and takes her fingers out of her mouth to signal the other to come closer. Siyeon gets up and crawls over to her, taking said hand and bringing it to her own mouth, tasting herself off her fingers. After that, she releases the fingers with a pop and leans down to bite the redhead's lips, to which the other responds by pulling her hair.

  
\- On my lap – Bora orders.

  
Siyeon obeys again and, instead of sitting on top of her out of fear of hurting her knee, she puts her own knees on either side of her and lowers herself until the redhead grabs her hips with one hand, while the other goes back between her thighs and slides one finger inside her. The singer grabs Bora’s shoulders tightly and places her forehead against the other woman’s, their lips inches away and both breathing in the same space. Siyeon can no longer keep her moans from coming out loud as the redhead pushes in another finger and she rides them meeting Bora’s pace.

  
The scene Bora sees in front of her when Siyeon comes undone is delirious: the woman's head is thrown back, her eyes are tightly closed, her body is sweat, and her chest is fully exposed to her. The singer's fingers dig into her shoulders and, until Siyeon falls limp into her arms, she doesn't pull her fingers out. The black-haired woman keeps her head against Bora’s temple, her arms circling her shoulders somehow and her legs about to give up.

  
\- You okay? – the redhead whispers, getting a nod from the other one – Lay down and let’s sleep, it’s late-

  
\- Are we together? – Siyeon interrupts her, her voice a bit hoarsed.

  
\- Huh?

  
\- You haven’t answered me yet.

  
\- You haven’t properly asked – she teases her.

  
The singer backs a bit and looks at her in the eye frowning:

  
\- Would you like to date me, Bora?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR MY PEOPLE
> 
> Hope this 2021 is way better than 2020 lol
> 
> Anyways,  
> So much fluff and love in this chapter and lgtb-friendiness uwu This is totally the opposit case scenario than Minji's lol  
> Sometimes people face better situations when coming out (like my case ^^ i'm lucky)
> 
> We already knew that Siyeon was lacking some confidence, but holy sht, she has like -3 confidence. Thank goodness she has supporters and captains for her ship everywhere hehehe
> 
> AND  
> I GOT SO EMBARASSED AFTER ACTUALLY POSTING THIS CHAPTER  
> But I hope you enjoy this.  
> Finally Suayeon ship sailing TT It took only Siyeon talking with every human being on Earth to make up her mind to ask Bora out.
> 
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Special thanks to Agasshi for her donation on ko-fi <3


	31. I'm bad too, pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No wonder my heart hurts  
> I went through a hard time  
> I made a lot of efforts  
> That’s too bad  
> No wonder I had an upset stomach  
> You did a good job  
> You worked hard  
> I'm bad too   
> It’s all ruined anyway  
> Just leave it to flow on  
> I'm bad too   
> Are flower roads the only roads?  
> Just play and fall asleep comfortably.
> 
> I'm bad too - Hwasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // mentions of sex briefly at the beginning and at the very end!
> 
> AN: ddaeng is a korean card game :D

The alarm on her phone is ringing loudly somewhere in the room.

  
Siyeon knows she has to get up, but her legs seem to be tied to the mattress and her body weighs more than usual. It's not until she tries to turn to one side that she realizes she can't move because Bora is literally asleep on top of her, her face buried on the singer's neck. If it weren't for the horrible sound of her alarm, she wouldn't mind being held hostage between her naked body and the mattress.

  
\- Bora… - she whispers close to her ear – We need to go to work…

  
The director groans against her neck in response as she reaches for the other woman's shoulder blade to grasp her shoulders in a weird hug.

  
\- At what time do you have your performance today?

  
\- Six. But first I have to do hair and make-up… - the singer mumbles while trying to fight Morpheus.

  
\- And at what time is that? – the redhead keeps asking.

  
\- Ten thirty.

  
The director gets her face out of the crook of her neck and uses her elbows to lift herself up a bit to look at her, her eyes not completely open:

  
\- …Then why the heck do you have your alarm set this early?

  
\- I-… I don’t know. I want to be awake in case Jin needs something.

  
\- It’s – she looks to her nightstand where her digital clock is - 6 in the morning, Siyeon.

  
\- Yesterday the staff and Jin were at the company by 7.30 though…

  
\- Oh my God… - Bora huffs, slumping down on Siyeon again, her face finding its place again on her neck – You are a bunch of nerds, I swear…

  
The black-haired woman can’t help the light chuckle that comes out at that. The redhead is right, there is no reason to get up right now. Her day is going to be long and she prefers to recover a little more sleep that she has been losing all these days, so that she can give it her all on stage later. The unpleasant sound of her phone keeps ringing and she knows she needs to get up to turn it off, but the cozy feeling that the soft mattress and the warmth of the body on top of hers give is hard to quit. And just when she was about to lose her internal fight and let the fatigue on her eyelids carry her away, a roar puts her back awake again.

  
\- Was that…?

  
\- Yeah… - Bora admits with a funny tone in her voice, partially ashamed.

  
She gets off Siyeon and slides to the side of the bed to get up, set the alarm on her phone off and look for some clothes.

  
\- Stay in bed, I’m going to make some breakfast.

  
Siyeon looks at her from her position, immobile, and follows her figure around the room illuminated by the dim light of the phone screen that she is holding and uses to guide herself through it. That's when memories of last night come to her, her heart pounding and her stomach filling with butterflies. Such is her excitement that she sits up in bed, drawing the attention of the other woman who had finally found her shirt:

  
\- Last night… - the singer starts saying lowly – I-…Thank you.

  
\- Thank you?

  
\- Yes. Thank you for being patient all this time with me.

  
The redhead smiles at the sudden gratitude and approaches the side of the bed where the other woman is, sitting on the edge and leaning towards her to leave a soft kiss on her lips.

  
\- Well – Bora says while pulling slightly away – Thank you for being honest with me and giving us a shot.

  
\- I think my family would have killed me if I-

  
\- You mean Gahyeon-

  
\- Actually… - Siyeon mumbles shyly – I came out to my parents last night.

  
The director, perplexed, remains speechless.

  
\- I-… I don’t know what got me, but when they asked me about the song… I mean, Gahyeon was playing along and all, she said it was about from a lover point of view, but I couldn’t keep lying to myself nor to my family… It came naturally to me; I didn’t even tumble over my words.

  
\- What did they say? – Bora asks cautiously.

  
\- They were supportive – the singer smiles lightly – When they started saying that they weren’t surprised to hear that I like girls, Gahyeon started exposing my gay ass in front of them.

  
\- Oh no… - Bora pretends to be shocked, getting an eye roll from the other woman.

  
\- Oh yes… She basically told my mom that there is a girl that likes me back but, as a helpless lesbian, I hadn’t done anything about it.

  
\- I swear, this kid… I love her – the redhead laughs – So, that’s why you said that your family would have been mad at you if you didn’t come here last night?

  
\- Yes. She basically told them that it was obvious that we liked each other, and she told my mom how nice you were and how our chemistry was… So, when we were supposed to go home, they threw me into a taxi and told me to come here.

  
\- Oh wow, you really had a roller coaster of a day, no wonder why you were so tired.

  
\- Yeah – she smiles widely – But everything feels fine now. And, even if it’s 6 am, I finally did get some sleep and I feel way less stressed and anxious – she makes a pause and looks at her hands on her lap – I guess I had to take some steps forward in some parts of my life to rest well during the night.

  
\- Good – the smaller woman brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and kisses her one last time before getting up – Then, join me for breakfast?

  
\- Yes, sure.

  
Siyeon stands up naturally, feeling energetic and confident. Bora, who is looking for some of the t-shirts that the singer has been leaving at home, looks out of the corner of her eye at the other woman, who is suddenly next to her, and smiles warmly. The woman has changed a lot. They have both changed a lot, to be realistic. As she manages to rescue one of her t-shirts from the back of her closet, the redhead remembers how Siyeon didn't come out from under the covers until she left the room or how she would shrink if she looked at her while she was naked. On the other hand, she herself has managed to overcome some barriers: being in a relationship out of habit and not out of love; not being able to conceive that, perhaps, she could like women too; not letting herself be carried away by what makes her happy ... The fact that both of them have supported each other to overcome certain things makes her feel not only satisfied with her decision to start something together, but also makes her proud of what they have been building so far.

  
Both women eat breakfast together and, after spending more time in the shower than they should, the redhead's moans bouncing off the tile walls, they make their way to the company.

  
\- See? There was no need to set an alarm at 6 am, dummy… - the director says while pushing the button in the elevator.

  
\- If I hadn't set the alarm that soon, we wouldn't have had time to do it this morning – the singer says nonchalantly, getting a playful punch on her shoulder from a deeply blushed Bora.

  
\- You better give your best today on stage since you have rested so well last night – she answers back, one of her eyebrows arched.

  
After the elevator doors open, the two part their ways, Siyeon heading straight to the room where she knows she could find her manager and the redhead heading to her office to leave her things there and start preparing her day. Minji had already told her yesterday that she would be going home early today to get ready for the dinner she would have with CEO Moon Byul and that the director would have to take care of the most important matters during the late afternoon. But Bora knows her friend well and, after picking up only her phone, she walks from her office to the CEO's and knocks a couple of times on the door before opening it. Without asking permission, she walks in and sits in front of the busy woman, who just looks up to check who has entered her office. The director waits patiently for her to finish the phone call with a company spokesperson who seems to be giving her more problems than it should, and after ten endless minutes she finally hangs up the phone with a disappointed face.

  
\- Was that the same bitchy guy from yesterday? The one from that company that wants to hire our dancers for some performance?

  
\- Yes… - she huffs – They won’t accept my conditions and I won’t let our dancers to go there and work for 12 hours straight without any break just because they have to record some music video…

  
\- But their artist will have break, right? Why wouldn’t our dance crew have one too?

  
\- They say they will first go to record that music video and then go back to their company to practice for another performance with another artist.

  
\- That’s fucked up… - Bora hums – Maybe I can talk to them later.

  
\- Please do, I’ve been on the phone for almost an hour with them and they seem to have troubles to understand my point – she makes a pause while drifting her eyes from the documents in front of her towards her friend - So, how is Siyeon?

  
The question takes Bora off guard.

  
\- Wha- What do you mean?

  
\- Well, she debuted yesterday. Didn’t you talk to her?

  
\- Ah… Well, I-

  
\- Did you fight with her again? – the CEO rolls her eyes.

  
\- No, God, no – she shakes her head – Long story short: we are officially together.

  
Minji's face after hearing those words is a mix between surprise and happiness, which brings out a small laugh from the redhead.

  
\- EeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEH? YOU ARE TOGETHER?

  
\- Jesus, Minji, lower your damn voice – she hushes.

  
\- How- When?

  
\- She came by last night and told me she was ready to start something more serious between us.

  
\- But, you confessed?

  
\- Of course I did. I told her I liked her and wanted to make things work between us, but she panicked and asked me for time to think about it.

  
\- Oh, wow, Bora, who would have thought you wouldn’t have any problems to embrace your gayness after all the panic you went through when you two made out the first time.

  
\- As a friend of mine, you should already know that I do not hesitate once I know what I want.

  
\- True – the CEO chuckles at that – So she basically went to your place and confessed back.

  
\- Yes.

  
\- And overall, was she okay? Was she nervous about her debut?

  
\- Last night she was a bit tired. She told me this morning she hasn’t been sleeping well for some time, apparently.

  
\- So she stayed the night with you? I hope you didn’t bite her lip harshly because I swear-

  
\- No, don’t worry. No marks can be seen this time – Bora nods proudly.

  
\- Well… If sleeping with you makes her rest well, then please give her a key to your place. I don’t want our just-debuted artist to fall asleep between schedules – the purple-haired woman sighs contently.

  
Minji trusts her friend and knows that she is not going to expose their relationship by mistake, so she doesn’t consider it a real problem for the future of the artist and the company. She is also not concerned that the singer will, as she knows that she has been in other relationships with women before and has managed to hide them. Instead, she is mildly concerned with the idea that Siyeon, for whatever reason, will regret her decision to be together with Bora. The redhead had a hard time letting her happy, smiling-self out again, and if she sees that light go out again, the CEO swears…

  
The woman shakes her head slightly. She shouldn't be too quick to think negative things.

  
\- About your dinner, meeting, whatever it is… What are you planning to wear and why does it sound like CEO Moon wants to take you to her bed? – the director asks casually, drawing her friend’s attention.

  
\- She doesn’t want to take me to her bed.

  
\- She basically asked you on a date.

  
\- She asked me to have dinner with her and to bring a “friend” – she air-quotes.

  
\- Friend?

  
\- She looked at Yoohyeon when she said that.

  
Bora frowns at that.

  
\- Care to explain?

  
\- I think she knows. Moreover, I think Mr. Kim knows.

  
\- How can that be possible?

  
\- Well… I don’t know. She said that Mr. Kim told her that we are more alike than we thought and then told me to bring my partner or friend while looking briefly towards Yooh.

  
\- Maybe she just looked at her because we were being loud…

  
\- Maybe. That’s why I’m not sure of what to do. I haven’t asked Yooh yet and I’m afraid to even mention it. I have already fucked up once and outted her, what if she thinks I outted her again? Or maybe she gets afraid of being herself because suddenly people noticed that we are way too comfortable with each other and connected the dots.

  
The director remains thoughtful, both women falling into deep silence. While it's true that Moon Byul has always been known for being very open-minded and a genderless icon, she understands that Minji can't risk exposing herself and Yoohyeon again. However, Bora is not in favor of her friend torturing herself always just because there’s a standard she has to fit in. In addition, the redhead is sure that the two women have been having quite a hard time for a few weeks since the father of the purple-haired woman appeared.

  
\- You two should go.

  
\- Excuse me? – the CEO asks in disbelief – You can’t be serious.

  
\- I know it sounds crazy, but, first of all, it’s Moon Byul of who we are talking about; secondly, you haven’t had a proper date in a long time and you owe Yooh some fun time outside of the company and your apartment. Where your father lives now too, by the way.

  
\- But what if-

  
\- Just ask Yoohyeon if she is okay with that and go.

  
\- Bora – the CEO glares at her – You are being way too optimistic.

  
\- I’m realistic, Minji. What are you gonna do: hide for the rest of your lives behind the four walls of your apartment? You two went through a lot to get to this point, you worked hard to build a future together. Just because some assholes are not okay with you loving Yoohyeon doesn’t mean that you should live this way all the time. Surely, you need to ask Yooh before outing her – she arches a brow while saying this, remarking the word “asking” – but maybe you could have a different way of living your lives… After all, you get nothing out of worrying all the time about who might see you together. Just let things happen and worry when there’s an actual problem.

  
CEO is dumbfounded by Bora's sudden scolding.

  
\- Minji… There’s not a path to follow. Never has existed one. Each of us make our own path and decide the way we want to live. Play your cards wisely and make the most out of them, because that way you won’t have any regrets in the future.

  
The purple-haired woman looks at her friend and nods, digesting all her words. She knows that the director is right. She’s always right. She surely knows her like the back of her hand and knows the exact words she needs to tell her to pull her out of her self-destructive spiral.

  
\- Okay. I’ll ask Yooh if she wants to come with me.

  
\- Thank you. Jesus, you are hard to get sometimes.

  
\- Talking about hard stuff – Minji sits back in her chair – You still have to tell me about your knee.

  
\- Yep. Too bad that we have tons of work to do – she shrugs while standing up, avoiding the topic.

  
\- Bora – the CEO warns her.

  
\- We can talk about it after your dinner date, with some beers in hand. We haven’t been able to talk about Yubin’s confession and our disbandment thing since that day. And I know that I, as your friend, need to explain you things that happened back then. And apologize for my shitty attitude. So, yeah, after your dinner date we should have a date too.

  
\- … Okay.

  
The redhead smiles sincerely at the other woman before leaving the office and heading to the desks of the company's accountants to get updated on the contract’s statuses. The CEO's morning passes by between phone calls and impromptu meetings with her workers, the woman finally gathering her things in the middle of the afternoon to go home. She knows that her girlfriend should be with her father at home right now, because she told her to wait for her at home in the afternoon so they can talk. Minji fears how the conversation will end but understands that she can’t keep hiding what Moon Byul told her about Yoohyeon from her. The trip home is shorter than normal, the woman walking up the stairs of her building instead of taking the elevator to buy some more time. When she gets home, she can hear the voices of her girlfriend and father in the kitchen, and she carefully leaves her things at the hall of her house and heads there.

  
\- You can’t be serious! Did you just win again?! – Minji can hear the gray-haired woman whining and her father laughing.

  
\- I have played way more times than you, young lady. You can’t beat a master at ddaeng – he clarifies while standing up from his seat, and as he turns towards the fridge to grab another beer, he sees his daughter in the kitchen’s doorway – Oh, honey! You are early today.

  
\- Yeah… - she smiles lightly – I rushed things at the company to get the afternoon free.

  
\- I see. Do you two have plans for this evening? – he keeps asking while digging out a beer and sitting back where he was sitting before.

  
\- Well, actually, I wanted to ask Yoohyeon about something… Do you mind if I talk to her for a minute?

  
\- Sure, but please, bring her back afterwards, we still have another round to play – he laughs.

  
Yoohyeon smiles widely at her father-in-law's desire to play with her. Since Minji's father arrived, things have been surprisingly evolving in a positive way, to the point that it has become a routine to eat breakfast with him every morning, watch tv with him every night, and take food cooked by him in a lunch box to work. However, she misses having some privacy with her girlfriend and, although she enjoys the company of the man and how warm it is to have a proper family time, she notices that he is still tense when the two women kiss each other or when they even hug while watching some drama on tv.

  
\- I’ll be back soon, so start shuffling the deck – she winks at him and follows Minji to their bedroom.

  
The grey-haired woman looks at her while she takes her blazer off and waits patiently, seeing how the CEO is trying to pick the right words.

  
\- Remember the meeting with RBW CEOs? – Minji starts saying.

  
\- Yes, of course.

  
\- Well… I-… - she takes a long breath – Moon Byul asked me to have dinner together.

  
Yoohyeon looks confused at the sudden revelation:

  
\- Do you mean she asked you on a date?

  
\- No, more like a friendly dinner together, to get to know each other better… You know, since we are going to work together and so on…

  
\- Ah, I see. And I guess that the dinner is tonight? – she asks a bit upset.

  
\- I’m sorry for not telling you sooner – the CEO finally looks at her, her eyes full of worry – I didn’t know what to answer to her and I was kinda hoping that she would forget about it…

  
\- Minji… You are a great woman and a great CEO, but you surely look like you are 15 sometimes.

  
\- I know – she whines – The thing is that when she asked me, she also told me to bring my partner with me and then she looked at you briefly, adding that she and I are alike somehow.

  
\- Alike?

  
\- Yes.

  
There’s a long silence that the taller woman breaks when speaking up again:

  
\- Do you think she is gay?

  
\- What? – Minji says a bit startled – I- I don’t know.

  
\- Then why would she say that after asking you to bring your partner – her girlfriend says thoughtfully – What’s more, how does she know we are together?

  
\- … Apparently Mr. Kim told her.

  
\- Mr. KIM KNOWS? HE IS A SHAREHOLDER FOR FUCKS SAKE MINJI – she hushes.

  
\- I know, I know! But I didn’t tell him anything, I swear!

  
\- So… - Yoohyeon sits on the edge of their shared bed – What’s the plan?

  
\- Well – Minji joins her, taking her hand between hers – Kim Yoohyeon, would you like to join me in this dinner, either as a friend or as a girlfriend? We deserve some fun and we haven’t been able to enjoy some off time since before your solo debut.

  
The woman seems to be thinking about it, but there is a small smile that tugs at the corners of her lips.

  
\- If I go, I’d like to go as a girlfriend, CEO Kim.

  
\- Are you serious?

  
\- Yes. Moon Byul already knows about us and she said you two are alike, so I bet she is bringing her partner too.

  
\- But… You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, I can cancel dinner-

  
\- Minji – she puts her free hand on her girlfriend’s cheek – I know. But I want to. We never had a real date, let alone a double date. I really want to do normal couple stuff, but we are always either too busy or too afraid to do so. And now we have the opportunity of finally have normal couple plan. Isn’t that exciting?

  
\- But what if she brings an actual friend and not her partner?

  
\- We still can have dinner with them. She already knows and she invited us, so I don’t see the problem here – Yoohyeon stands up and pulls her up too – C’mon, shower and dress up! I will finish my game with your dad and start get ready too!

  
Minji smiles at her girlfriend's visible excitement at the idea of going out, which encourages her too. So, after telling her father about their plans for the night and grabbing her bathrobe, she goes to the bathroom for a long, warm shower. When she steps into the shower and the water falls on her face, she closes her eyes and lets the tension in her body go. Despite her relaxed state, her heart leaps in her chest trying to remember the last time she saw Yoohyeon smile so honestly and a carefree smile is drawn on her face at last, knowing that her girlfriend is still showing her that smile after everything they have been through.

  
\- Hey – she hears behind her- You are not… Aren’t you?

  
Minji looks over her shoulder and sees her girlfriend putting makeup on in the mirror.

  
\- Touching myself?

  
\- Yeah?

  
The CEO laughs and shakes her head.

  
\- Did I shower for that long for you to think about that possibility?

  
\- Well… I know you are very active. WE are. And it has been a while…

  
\- I know – the purple-haired woman sighs – But I don’t feel comfortable with… You know. Not even enough to touch myself.

  
Minji gets out of the shower and enjoys the way the taller woman stares at her hungrily. However, she puts her bathrobe on before getting closer to her and leaving a quick kiss on her already coloured lips.

  
\- I’m going to get dressed quickly so we can leave before half past eight -she whispers on her lips.

  
\- S-Sounds good – Yoohyeon gulps blushed.

  
After deciding on something more casual as her girlfriend, her light blue jeans and fitted long-sleeved shirt embracing her body perfectly, the purple-haired woman does her makeup too before waving at her father and leaving with her girlfriend. The two women get into the car and Minji starts the engine, finally driving in the direction the other CEO's assistant gave him yesterday. During the drive, it seems that doubts resurface again, a tense silence reigning in the cabin of the car. The woman tries to breathe deeply, fighting to avoid herself be carried away by her fears. Out of the corner of her eye she sees that the taller woman is looking through the car window, her gaze not fixed anywhere, lost in thought. Minji knows her partner well and knows that when she is quieter than usual it is because something is bothering her.

  
And she understands it perfectly.

  
After all, they are going to come out again, the two of them, but this time in front of two people they barely know. And even if they sense that nothing bad is going to happen, it is normal to be nervous about it. So, she lets her be, fixing her eyes back on the road. However, as if looking for comfort, Yoohyeon breaks the silence:

  
\- We are gonna be fine, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was planned differently, but my brain decided that I should add a lot of talks and stuff in it, so I had to divide it in the end lol  
> I think the song for this chapter reflects perfectly Bora's life motto at this point: live your life not worrying about trivial things, it's okay to fall, it's okay to fail. But don't forget to also enjoy life on your own way.  
> I think Minji needs start applying that motto to her life too.
> 
> TOMORROW COMEBACK! LET'S FIGHT TO GET THEIR FIRST WIN!


	32. I'm bad too, pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who shot these arrows?  
> Who made you mad?  
> Who is it? Bring them  
> Let me teach them some  
> I’m going crazy seriously  
> I’mma give them that drama  
> If you’re frowning with that pretty face, don't you think I’d be angry?
> 
> But what she really needs is:  
> "Oh, you had a rough day? Well, me too…  
> But, it’s a relief you’re here,  
> because you know, Hwasa, I’m bad too."
> 
> I'm bad too - Hwasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // sex below the line

\- Why wouldn’t we be fine?

  
Minji’s voice wavers as she words out the question, but she tries hard to not let Yoohyeon notice it and panic.

  
\- I don’t know… I’ve always wanted to do something like this, you know, going on a date where we can be ourselves. But now… I can’t stop being nervous and… afraid.

  
The CEO eyes soften at that and one of her hands leaves the steering wheel to be placed on the taller woman’s thigh, caressing with her thumb the soft material of her skirt.

  
\- Whatever happens, we are together – Minji smiles without taking her eyes away from the road.

  
She knows that her words haven’t helped the woman in the seat next to her, but she notices how the gray-haired woman intertwines her hand with the one on her leg, seeking the warmth of her partner, as if helping her to anchor herself to that positive idea. Fortunately, or unfortunately, they end up reaching their destination: a small semi-detached house on the outskirts of the city. Minji parks near the main entrance and, while waiting for Yoohyeon to get out of the car, she stands looking towards the doors of said house. When she feels the other woman next to her, she looks at her and smiles as she nods, trying to chase away her fears even though her own ones eat up what little courage she has left. With hesitant steps, the CEO comes forward and rings the bell of the house, waiting until the electronic sound is heard unlocking the door of the property. The taller woman hides behind her girlfriend, giving way to her and closing the door when they enter the small garden at the entrance, whose narrow and short path finally leads to the main door, that opens when Minji is closer:

  
\- Woah, CEO Kim, I can’t believe we are actually doing this! – Moonbyul smiles at her.

  
\- I’m glad we actually managed to make it work, CEO Moon – she smiles back shyly – Thank you for inviting us.

  
From behind the purple-haired woman, Yoohyeon shows up and greets the other CEO formally bowing.

  
\- Yoohyeon, please, we are outside of work – Byul offers her hand.

  
\- I’m very pleased to be here, Ms Moon – she smiles nervously while she shakes her hand, her words a bit tripped over her tongue.

  
\- Come in, dinner is almost ready!

  
Both guests enter the house after Moonbyul, who is showing the different parts of the house to the newcomers. The interior of the house is simpler than they expected, nothing too expensive or extravagant. The white walls are decorated with photos of her, her friends, and the members of her former group, making Minji smile at the parallels between her home and this one. After passing a bathroom and a guest room, they finally come to a wide room where the living room and kitchen are located. The open space is brighter than the part they’ve just seen due to its high ceiling with several lamps that warmly illuminate the large room. In the kitchen is the fourth person who’s joining them for dinner, surrounded by short legged and chubby dogs who harass her to give them some of what she is serving in some plates.

  
\- Yong! – Moonbyul calls – They are here.

  
\- Oh! Hi! Welcome! – the latter greets with a wide smile – Nice to see you again!

  
\- Nice to see you too, Ms. Sol- – the taller woman shakes her head – Ms. Yongsun.

  
\- It’s fine, I like both names – she says reassuringly – And, please, drop the formalisms!

  
The couple, timidly, try to carry on an idle conversation with the other two women while they finish preparing everything. Although Mamamoo are known to be shy, Moonbyul has managed to bring out the talkative side of Yoohyeon, who now doesn’t shut up and has a special twinkle in her eyes while talking about one of the shows she was on during their promotions.

  
\- Oh, I remember that show. We went there with the kids on our last promotion together, right? – Yongsun asks her former member as she places some bowls down on the dining table.

  
\- Yeah, it was fun – she answers while chuckling – I think Hyejin went there too recently for her solo promotions.

  
\- The staff there is nice – the grey-haired woman smiles – We went there as Dreamcatcher too, but just once.

  
\- Ah, Dreamcatcher… You really had a thrilling concept – Byul smiles while offering some beer to the other CEO.

  
\- It was even thrillier to be part of it – Minji smiles back, feeling her shoulders relax as the conversation goes on.

  
\- It’s a shame that you guys disbanded – RBW’s CEO comments.

  
It’s a comment that brings to the purple-haired woman many images in her head, which are reflected in her eyes. Yongsun notices this, shooting at Moonbyul a look that could kill her, who clears her throat and speaks again:

  
\- Shall we start? – she says as she points to the already set up dining table.

  
They all sit around it and, as the older one offers some kimchi to the former leader, Yoohyeon gathers some courage and asks the other two women:

  
\- Why did Mamamoo disband?

  
\- Oh, Mamamoo didn’t disband – Yongsun clarifies – But we are definitely not active either.

  
\- Since I took the role of CEO and Solar was asked to be director, we have been super busy and we couldn’t manage to release stuff for our fans.

  
\- Yes, being in charge of a company is not easy at all… - Minji huffs.

  
\- Being in charge of a company while being a woman is even harder, as you have might already discovered.

  
The woman takes advantage of the fact that her mouth is full of food to be able to reflect on these words before responding to her. The rapper is right, definitely.

  
\- It’s true that being a female CEO is hard, with all those people with money talking at you like you are dumb or just looking at you like a piece of meat… But I think I had worse times while being a leader.

  
At this, Yongsun places her chopsticks on her bowl and pays attention to what the purple-haired woman has to say.

  
\- When Dreamcatcher was still active, managing the girls was the least of my worries – Minji continues – Bora, or SuA, would always help me to gather them and to cheer them up. But when I had to take big decisions for them… Some of those moments were harder than being a CEO.

  
Yoohyeon jaw tightens as she drifts her gaze towards the steamy food in front of her.

  
\- Specially when I had to talk them into disbanding – the CEO huffs – I think I’d never be able to forget their sad expressions when I told them that the best option was to dissolve Dreamcatcher.

  
\- Why was that? – RBW’s director asks lowly and cautiously.

  
\- Well… Bora got severely injured and… I selfishly decided that it would be better for all of us to part ways.

  
A terrific silence takes over the spacious room that deafens those present. Moonbyul seems to be finding it difficult to look for the exact word to break it, but it is Solar who, knowing the leader’s role from her own experience, continues to lead the conversation:

  
\- It’s not selfish to look after your own wellness.

  
\- It’s selfish when it involves crashing your friends’ dreams.

  
\- Dreamcatcher wouldn’t be Dreamcatcher without one of its members – Yongsun states, making both former members to look up at her – If you weren’t feeling good in your position at that time and needed to get away from there, you were on your own right to call the disbandment. We, as a Mamamoo, have talked about our future multiple times and I always pushed them to feel free to share their minds if they struggled to keep on being part of the group. I’m sure your former members don’t hold any grudge at you for that.

  
\- I know they don’t, but I-… I-

  
\- You still feel bad about it.

  
\- Yes, sometimes.

  
The director nods at the confession. The other two women sitting at the table are merely watching the conversation between the two of them.

  
\- Can I ask about your reason to disband? – Solar asks, looking at Minji in the eye.

  
\- I-… - she gulps, feeling a tight knot forming in her stomach and making her feel nauseous suddenly.

  
Yoohyeon slides a shaking hand under the table, reaching for her knee and squeezing it. The CEO looks at her and her girlfriend gives her a smile that pretends to be confident but is stained with fear. That exchange doesn’t go unnoticed by the vocalist and the rapper on the other side of the table.

  
\- It’s safe here. Don’t worry – Moonbyul speaks up.

  
\- Why do you think we would invite you over for dinner? – Mamamoo’s leader chuckles.

  
\- Huh? – Minji eyes are wide opened.

  
\- Your reason is she, right? – the rapper points towards the younger woman with a nod.

  
\- Our CEO-nim told us that he suspected that your English b-side song is about Jiu, since you both got a bit upset during the meeting after listening to it – Solar explains.

  
\- Secret Love Song… isn’t it? – Moonbyul smiles proudly – What a subtle way of coming out, that was smart.

  
The couple’s mouths fall open.

  
\- So, Mr. Kim actually knows… - Minji whispers.

  
\- If he knows… Why would he… I mean, people normally… - Yoohyeon struggled to word the confusing realization she just had.

  
\- Why wouldn’t he support you? – Yongsun replies, as if she could read the taller woman's mind.

  
\- To be honest, this collaboration between our companies is because we both have the same mind set and the same issues. We even have the same policies. The only difference is that your company is still taking off and ours has been running for a while now – RBW’s CEO explains.

  
\- Same issues? – the purple-haired woman frowns.

  
\- Yes. You know, having queer people working in the company… - Moonbyul smiles – We also have queer artists and, well, Yongsun and I have been together for years now.

  
\- Since before our 4 Season group project – the latter chuckles.

  
\- … A-and your company was okay with that? – Minji stutters.

  
\- Well, we hid it for a long time and it got really stressful for us at one point. We fought a lot and made the kids very uncomfortable. Our performances were being affected too, so one day CEO Kim came to us and talked to us – Solar tells.

  
\- He basically told us he knew something was going on between us and that he was fine with it as long as it didn’t affect the group – Moonbyul explains further.

  
\- He didn’t care? – Yoohyeon is stunned by what they are telling them.

  
\- Nope. We discovered later that our company doesn’t care at all about our preferences and our private life. They just care about work – the rapper shrugs.

  
\- And your members? – the CEO curiously asks.

  
\- Wheeinie and Hyejinie? Oh, they definitely knew since the beginning and they couldn’t care less – Solar laughs – And our fans… We haven’t come out officially, but they are not dumb either, I guess.

  
The young couple is impressed. Not only have they been able to read through them and their actions, but they have also just met another couple who have been through something similar. Yoohyeon's hand on Minji's knee is no longer shaking and the CEO lets a hint of an honest smile appear on her face for the first time in the evening.

  
\- So, about Dreamcatcher… - the director goes back to the question she made before – I guess you weren’t as lucky as us?

  
\- I… Well. Our story is a bit more complicated – the purple-haired woman takes a deep breath and starts explaining – Yoohyeon and I found that we liked each other a year or two after our debut, but, as you said, keeping it as a secret was a bit overwhelming and, in the end, we decided to break up. But that just worsened things for us and the distress even got over our members. Then, Bora had an accident and couldn’t dance at all. I got very stressed and disappointed at myself for letting all fall apart, so I decided I couldn’t keep on being the leader. No longer later, I told the members to dissolve the group.

  
\- Didn’t your company notice any of those changes? – Moonbyul asks quietly.

  
\- I don’t know… If they did, they neither said anything about it nor helped us – Minji shrugs.

  
\- They relied a lot on Minji for everything related to the members and the group. She basically had to carry the group and make everything work for us – her girlfriend says, her voice breaking a bit – Minji did her best, but she is also human…

  
\- Yes, she is – Yongsun smiles fondly at the younger’s words – And even if she made that decision, she still has her members by her side, so you could say it is an actual win, isn’t it?

  
\- Even though I think I could have fixed things in a more proper way if I communicated better with my members, lately I have been finding myself thinking that way too. Like, in the end, after all those bad moments, it was worthy – the purple-haired woman smiles widely at Yoohyeon – Now I can at least be with the one I love and I also have my friends by myside. And, even if it gets hard sometimes, I know I’m going to be able to get over it and keep going on.

  
The gray-haired woman looks back at her in awe. Minji just admitted that she is no longer as tormented as she was by her decisions and Yoohyeon couldn't be prouder of her. She is finally getting rid of that weight that was flogging her and didn’t let her sleep some nights, especially at the beginning, when Bora was still mad at everyone and Handong was missing in action.

  
\- It’s nice to see that you are in peace with that, then – the other CEO nods – CEO Kim was a bit concerned about that and after what happened with Yoohyeon’s scandal…

  
\- Ah, the damn scandal… That was a pain in the ass – the taller woman recalls – Mr. Park played us dirty…

  
\- But he doesn’t know about you two, right? – Yongsun inquiries.

  
\- I hope he doesn’t, but if Mr. Kim have been able to see through us… - Minji sighs.

  
\- If he knew, and knowing well his influence over other companies, he would have already sold the information to the media and crushed Happy Face Company to the ground – Moonbyul explains.

  
\- Sounds like you have had some problems with him too… - the CEO guesses.

  
\- Yes, he is a total dick. A sexist dick – she says, making Solar chuckle – When I got to be CEO, he came to me and we had this meeting where he basically offered me tons of money. Our company has its profits already, so I hesitated and asked him why he was offering this amount of money to the company out of the blue. Mr. Park explained that the money wasn’t for the company specifically, he was donating ME the money so I could start my own company or buy RBW entirely.

  
\- But why would you want to do such a thing? I mean, you could, but… – Yoohyeon frowns.

  
\- Behold, because it gets intense – the director laughs.

  
\- It does - Moonbyul smiles as she shakes her head – He wanted me to do as he proposed so he could be the major shareholder in the company and, I quote, “be bigger than SM with my money and your directions”. It all seemed confusing and messy, even snobby, so I refused immediately and he got all red and angry, saying that he was proposing something that would make me someone important in the industry and he basically ignored all my previous achievements as part of Mamamoo and as producer. And then he continued saying that women have no idea of business and tons of shit more. One week later, my face was all over the place with the headline: New RBW CEO is a man.

  
\- Why am I not even surprised – Minji snorts.

  
\- But you… How do you identify yourself? – the younger one asks, knowing how horrible is being misgendered thanks to her friend’s explanation about it.

  
\- I identify as a woman. I might dress more or less feminine, but I consider myself a woman. I mean, I don’t think clothes should have a gender, anyway.

  
\- How did you guys solve that? – the purple-haired woman questions.

  
\- Our CEOs, along with Moonbyul, wrote an official statement and sued him for defamation – the director explained – Fun thing is that CEO Kim met Mr. Park again later in your shareholder meetings.

  
\- Wow, he really kept his nerves calm – Minji adds.

  
\- He is rarely disturbed by outsiders – Moonbyul chuckles – How did Happy Face Company get away of the mess he made with Yoohyeon’s debut?

  
\- To explain that, I will need more beer, because it’s a long story.

  
After telling them all the things they had to do to deny the accusations, the problems that arose between all of them and Minji's forced come out moment, the atmosphere becomes friendlier and the jokes between them are frequent.

  
\- So, basically, Minji kicked you out of the closet AND protected your public image – Yongsun laughs at the chaotic situation.

  
\- Yeah – Yoohyeon chuckles – Minji needs to work harder on her plans before following them.

  
\- I was desperate to be free – the CEO admits, whining.

  
\- I can totally understand that - the rapper laughs too – But now you have your dad at your place and that has to suck, doesn’t it?

  
\- Yes, but Minji’s dad is sweet and he’s not rude at all – the taller one smiles sweetly while leaning on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

  
\- But we have 0 privacy: our apartment isn’t big at all… - Minji complains.

  
At this, the older couple guffaw.

  
\- I’m sure you will manage to have some privacy at some point – Solar comments – You have an entire company for yourself.

  
\- Oh no, don’t even suggest that – the CEO shakes her head.

  
\- We have already tried that – Yoohyeon admits while blushing at the memories of Siyeon telling them that she saw them at the practice room.

  
The night passes and when the clock ticks almost 2 am, the two guests say goodbye to the other couple, who forced them to take a lunch box with some leftovers from the dinner.

  
\- Thank you for the lovely evening – Minji hugs Solar.

  
Just when the purple-haired woman is about to break the hug, the leader doesn't let her go and whispers in her ear:

  
\- I’m sure it has been hard for you two and sometimes it might look like there won’t be a brighter future. However, I’m sure things are going to change for people like us, but changes take time. Be patient and whenever you need an extra pair of hands, I will always be willing to help you.

  
At that, Minji tightens the hug for a second before releasing the other woman as a quiet thank you.

* * *

  
The ride home is totally different from the previous one: Yoohyeon is in the passenger seat humming a tune and seems much happier than before, as if she has seen light at the end of the tunnel that she seemed to have been in all this time. Minji, on her side, is much more relaxed and is happy to be able to maintain the relaxed atmosphere in the company when the collaboration between the two companies is formally carried out. Once at home, the two women find their apartment in the dark, the father of the older one surely asleep.

  
\- I’m going to leave the leftovers in the fridge – the taller one whispers loud enough for the other one to hear her.

  
\- Okay, I’m going to remove my makeup then – she nods.

  
Minji heads there, not bothering to close the bathroom door and starting to remove her makeup right away. In the mirror's reflection, she sees Yoohyeon joining her, but the latter closes the door behind her. The CEO doesn’t give it much importance and continues with her task, bending down to wash her face.

  
\- Here – she hears behind her.

  
When she looks to the side, still crouched over the sink, she sees her small towel being offered by the other woman.

  
\- Thank you.

  
Yoohyeon answers her with a hum before placing her hands on her waist and sliding them down to her hips, sticking her body to hers.

  
\- Babe? – Minji asks as she leans back up and makes eye contact with the other one through the mirror.

  
The other woman doesn’t answer: she simply brushes her hair back and leaves soft kisses on her neck and behind her ear. The CEO watches as one of the hands travels from her hip to the clasp of her pants, opening it and sliding the zipper down. Her gaze drifts again to find her girlfriend’s, which is coloured with pure lust. Holding her eyes, she can sense the other hand climbing up under her shirt and towards her chest, where it sneaks under her bra. Minji gasps, her body overreacting at the cold hand on her left breast.

  
\- I need you to be as quiet as you can be, babe – the gray-haired woman whispers in her ear just before biting it.

  
The other woman nods while Yoohyeon slides her pants and underwear down to her knees. They have been in this position few times already, but she was always the one in charge of giving pleasure. Seeing her girlfriend being this dominant is driving her insane, though. The latter smiles when her fingers find her center and she cups her, giving more attention to her neck and her chest.

  
Minji can barely keep her mouth shut now, the hand caressing her center without giving her any release making it hard for her to stay quiet. The taller woman notices this and stops teasing her nipple to put her hand over her mouth, muffling her noises.

  
\- How many? Two? – she asks lowly.

  
The CEO nods as she blows air through her nose. Yoohyeon’s fingers don’t waste more time and dig between her folds to find the small throbbing bundle first, making sure that her girlfriend is worked up enough before those same fingers travel around her hips and take her from behind. When she is deep inside her, Minji supports herself on the sink with both hands, her head hung and her body pressing backwards to take in more of her girlfriend.

  
\- I’m so proud of you, Minji. You have been so brave today. You have always been such a good leader and an extraordinary person… - Yoohyeon whispers her as she starts moving her fingers in and out – I love you so much, babe.

  
The purple-haired woman’s moans hit her girlfriend’s palm and, as the pace increases, Minji’s arms give up and her elbows land on the surface on both sides of the sink. The other woman can feel how close she is, so she doesn’t make her wait any longer for her release. The CEO face is scrunched up as her orgasm hits her hard, her hair all wild over the sink as her body is bent down. Once she can’t feel any spams more, Yoohyeon pulls out and takes her hand away from her mouth, caressing her girlfriend’s lower back as she gets her breathing back.

  
Minji stands back up and rests her semi-naked body against her girlfriend’s front. She turns her face towards the taller’s and when their gazes meet, she turns around in her embrace and hugs her tightly.

  
\- I’m the one who can’t be prouder of having such an amazing woman next to her, willing to share her time with me– she mumbles against her temple – I love you too, Yooh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a good ending for Jiyoo <3  
> I missed writing about these two... And this one is not as dramatic as the other jiyoo chapters :D
> 
> And finally we had the moonsunxjiyoo date!! How was it? Did you like the cameo?  
> A bit of more Dreamcatcher's background and some friendly exchange between two couples that are under the same situation but had different backgrounds.
> 
> btw, I really had a shitty day, so I took it out on Mr. Park lol sorry for the cursing
> 
> On another note: i really hope we can get a win tomorrow <3


	33. Rosario

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All day I hear the howl of rabid dogs  
> If I fall for their bait, my flesh will be torn apart  
> Two hands doing a sword dance in the dark  
> Throw me a thorny flower with meaningless words  
> Be unruly, be merciless  
> Shake me down, because I'm unbreakable  
> I raised a set of stairs with the stones you threw  
> And now my voice steps over walls and across borders  
> To me, you're dust in my eyes  
> Nothing to gain from dusting you off  
> It's a waste of time  
> Yeah, I know even if I spend a lifetime to build a tower  
> The world will crumble it  
> But again I add another stone  
> Do what I wanna  
> Say what I wanna  
> Go ahead, tear me to pieces and talk your shit  
> Don't want your prayers  
> Don't want your roses  
> Ain't no one dyin' today
> 
> (Epik High - Rosario)

Even before Siyeon debuted, the CEO and the director of the company told Handong to join the singer in a variety show that was willing to host them, since Siyeon doesn’t have much experience in front of the camera and they didn’t want to leave her by her own with some media shark that could trick her with their language. Thus, the Chinese model arrives early at the company, expecting to find the black-haired woman ready to go. She doesn't even bother to ask the staff, who are already wandering around the floor, some of them looking like they just got out of bed. Handong goes straight to Bora's office, remembering the instructions she received last night from the redhead, and, when she is in front of her door, knocks twice, waits a few seconds and opens the door slowly:

  
\- Can I come in, lovebirds?

  
\- Of course you can come in, dummy – the director answers while giving her an eye roll.

  
Amused, the woman closes the door behind her and greets Siyeon, who is sitting in front of Bora's desk.

  
\- Did your girlfriend fill you … in already? – she keeps teasing, looking at the singer with knowing eyes.

  
\- Oh my God, I’m not going to hear the end of it, am I? – the redhead huffs.

  
Even though she pretends to be upset, there is a smile on Bora's face. She and the model have a somewhat special friendship, different from the one she shares with the CEO. It can be said that their way of communicating and understanding each other is based on Handong teasing her and the redhead indulging in all the jokes on a daily basis, but if Bora is overwhelmed by her emotions, her Chinese friend is going to be the first one to run towards her to offer a hug. So, she knew that the moment she told her about her new relationship, Handong was going to take advantage of it and basically create a new stack of jokes with it, as a way to give her friend her thumbs up.

  
\- I-… Fill me in? … - the black-haired one glances at Bora for a second and then looks back at the Chinese woman – Yes, she told me the type of show we are recording this morning.

  
\- Good – she nods, turning a bit more serious now - On our way there, I’m going to give you some tips you should remember while we are recording.

  
The director nods as well, a bit relieved. It’s necessary for the singer to appear on media channels in order to promote herself, but at the same time, it is something that terrifies Bora. While it is true that the redhead was the queen of entertainment, her antics also made her group the center of criticism for a few days each time they were invited to any kind of show. Their former CEO always told them it was publicity at the end, that they had to put up with that kind of feedback too, but Bora hated seeing Yoohyeon holding back her tears every time she read some toxic comment. She would not like to see another person she appreciates punishing themselves for a simple slip or for being different and not fitting the standards. That’s why she talked to Minji earlier this month and then talked to Handong. She won’t make the same mistakes as their former CEO.

  
\- So, shall we go? – the model smiles at Siyeon – It’s a long way to the production building.

  
\- Sure – Siyeon nods.

  
\- Have fun, Si – the redhead winks at her.

  
Thus, both women leave the company and, together with Jin, get into the car that is parked in the garage of the building. Jin drives while Handong and Siyeon are in the back seats getting ready for the show:

  
\- This is a new variety show, apparently, but I met the host before – the Chinese model informs her while looking at the script they were given.

  
The singer notices a certain bitterness when the other woman pronounces those last words.

  
\- Were they rude? – Siyeon asks.

  
\- Not straightly… - Handong answers thoughtfully – It's like he always laughed at us, but in a subtle way. Even if what he told us hurt, we couldn’t do anything, just smile, because it's not like he's insulting us directly at our faces.

  
\- I see… - the black-haired sighs, a bit overwhelmed about what she is learning.

  
\- It’s normal to face such situations when you start your career in this industry. And you can even continue to be mocked and mistreated when you've already proven your value as an artist. Most of the times it is for simply being a woman; other times it's just because you don't have a powerful company to back you up.

  
The model leaves the script on the seat and a deep sigh comes out of her, while her eyes scan the landscape that can be seen from the window.

  
\- It truly sucks – she mutters under her breath.

  
Siyeon stays quiet, looking at the papers that are now on the leather of the seat and then to Handong. She can understand the frustration: she had also felt it at some point as a fan.

  
\- Is that why you left? – the singer blurts out before she can stop her mouth.

  
The Chinese woman keeps looking through the window deep in her thoughts, until she finally answers:

  
\- Maybe.

  
There’s some tension clouding the car and Jin, who has been spectating the whole exchange, puts some music on the radio and decides to focus on the road.

  
\- I used to care a lot about people’s opinion. It changed the way I was, changed my choices and the way I enjoyed my life – Handong confesses as she lays back further on the backrest of her seat – I saw my members being stabbed by words over and over and, in order to stop it, I changed to please the ones that were hurting them, but in the end it only hurt more. I went back to China, turning my back to the members, because I thought I couldn’t fight back, that I couldn’t do anything to change this dark reality.

  
\- But you came back… - the black-haired woman frowns.

  
\- Yes.

  
\- Did you… Did you find a way out? – Siyeon hesitates on how to ask her about something so personal.

  
\- Not at all – she chuckles dryly while she turns to face the singer – I accepted it. If they want to throw stones at me, let them. I will stand on my feet again and prove them wrong.

  
The other woman looks at her, her eyes tinted with a mixture of sadness and pride.

  
\- That’s what I learnt from our two older members, Jiu and Sua – she smiles – Look at them now, CEO and director of a growing company. To them, people like that are just a waste of time. They keep making their own paths and, even if they face some problems on the way and everything around them seems to collapse at some point, they will stand up and start over again.

  
As she says all this, Handong remembers those bitter moments: Yubin being attacked for being themselves, Minji and Yoohyeon not being able to live their love as a normal couple, Bora having to "behave" in front of the public to avoid attracting unwanted attention… It wasn’t easy, but it was also not a reason for her to abandon them to the point of ignoring Minji when she contacted her to be part of her project, the company of which she is now proudly part of. Now, she can see that the only mistake she has made as part of Dreamcatcher is letting people get under her skin.

  
\- I don’t know if Sua told you this already, but… - the model speaks up again – You should do what you want to do, say what you want to say. Do not try to be another person that, in the future, you will regret being.

  
\- She did, but I’m not sure if I should really expose myself like that… It might cause trouble not only to myself, but also to the c-

  
\- Would you rather build a career out of pleasing everyone or build it by being your true self? – the Chinese woman frowns – Siyeon, you are a woman that sings rock-pop songs. That’s not standard. You are not going to have it easy for starters and they will probably mock you and point at you because of it. Please, understand that there is no easy path that is already made for any of us: you yourself make your way wherever you set your feet. So, make sure you are making the path that makes you truly happy.

  
The singer nods, gulping the lump that has been forming in her throat during the whole conversation. When the redhead told her that Handong was going to be the person who would accompany her on the show, she thought it was due to the simple fact of having someone with a certain status in the industry by her side, since she has just started and is basically a nobody, as if the model was the only way for her to get invited to a show. However, now she understands the director's intentions: Handong is not by her side because she is the ticket to get into a show, she is next to her to help her start her career on the right foot and not make the same mistakes as them.

  
As they reach their main destination and proceed to record the show, back at the company, Bora walks through the hallway after giving some instructions to certain managers of the dance crew. Seeing the dancers always makes her a bit jealous and sometimes, when she has free time between meetings, she goes to see them rehearse. Thanks to the fact that this time the injury has been treated and she has followed the instructions of her therapist, the redhead has been resuming her solo dance practices and can now dance for more than half an hour without her knee bothering her, although when she gets home her leg does feel sore. Still, she has made some progress and she's proud of herself. Before the injury, dancing was her life and when she had to stop doing it, it was as if part of her had died. Looking back, the director understands why she was always so bitter, isolating herself and biting the hands that tried to help her. It has not been easy for her to accept that she could not dance as before and that reaching the level she had before will keep being a long journey to go through.

  
\- Director Kim! – a staff member calls her, making her to stop and turn around – There’s a girl who says that she has stuff to deliver to Lee Siyeon. I told her to wait for you in the break room.

  
\- Thank you, I’ll be there in a minute – the redhead nods.

  
She doesn't hesitate and, instead of resuming her way to her office, she goes directly to that room, smiling when she sees who is in there:

  
\- Gahyeon, what are you doing here?

  
\- Bora – the young woman smiles back – Siyeon told me to get her old music notebooks and bring them to the company.

  
\- I see. She told me she wanted to leave them here in case she could fish something out of it… - the director recalls as she approaches Gahyeon.

  
\- She is out, right? That’s what the staff told me…

  
\- Yeah, she has some activities scheduled this morning. What about you? Don’t you have lectures today?

  
The younger sister tenses a bit at the question, making Bora giggle:

  
\- Are you skipping school today?

  
\- Maybe? – she answers sheepishly.

  
\- Do you want to stay around? I was about to grab some coffee and check on Yubin.

  
\- CAN I? – Gahyeon’s eyes widen with excitement.

  
\- Sure – the redhead laughs – We haven’t spent time together just the two of us. We can finally get to know each other better.

  
The director leaves the room accompanied by the other woman, finally heading towards her office. Siyeon has mentioned to the redhead that her sister has been spending more time at home than usual, since her parents went home, and the singer is worried about her. But as is normal for the older sister, she hasn’t sat down to talk to her sister. So, since Gahyeon is in the company, Bora is going to take the initiative and find out if the young woman needs help.

  
\- Do you want to tell me why you are skipping your lectures? Boring day today? – she asks, trying to sound cool.

  
The student hums, shrugging.

  
\- Are your friends in the same courses as you?

  
\- No, I’m the only one doing math… Shuhua and Dahyun are studying literature and art. And the rest of the girls are either working or they already graduated and they are back in their hometowns… - Gahyeon explains.

  
\- That sucks – the director huffs.

  
\- It does.

  
They reach the redhead’s office and she opens the door for the both of them, the young woman’s eyes sparkling in awe as she sees all the pictures and trophies on the walls. Bora giggles at her reaction as she places all the documents she was carrying and taking two mugs from a small cabinet that is right next to her desk.

  
\- Are these from when you were in Dreamcatcher?

  
\- Kinda.

  
\- But these trophies aren’t from any music show, right? At least, they don’t look familiar…

  
\- No, those are from dance competitions – the director sighs as she goes to the small coffee machine and starts it – I used to compete when I was a trainee and also sometimes between comebacks…

  
\- You really liked it… - Gahyeon says thoughtfully.

  
\- I still do.

  
The young woman looks at the redhead as she approaches her, offering one mug. She mutters a small thank you and smiles sweetly.

  
\- I might not be able to dance like before at the moment, but in the future, if I’m able to do so, I’d like to compete again in dancing contests – she smiles back – So, shall we visit Yubin and see what they are doing?

  
Gahyeon nods, a little surprised to hear "they", since they are only supposed to visit the producer, but decides not to care, cradling the warm mug in her hands and following the director again, who closes the door after the younger sister crosses the doorframe.

  
\- So… - Bora says as they resume their path towards the production booth – Are the lectures actually boring or are your classmates boring? Because, as far as you told me other times, you like being a math nerd.

  
\- … I don’t know. I mean, I don’t have friends in class, just a couple of boys that are nerder than me and we always group for projects. But, surely, being one of the few girls in class is a bit weird…

  
\- Are the other boys rude?

  
\- Not at all. I guess we didn’t click together well…

  
The redhead nods, trying to understand what’s bothering Gahyeon.

  
\- Have you approached them or …? – she keeps asking as she stops just in front of the production booth.

  
\- No… I’m a bit shy to do so.

  
\- I see – Bora smiles reassuringly at her as she places her hand on the doorknob – Shall we go in?

  
As she gets a nod from the other woman, she opens the door slowly, peeking through the small slit to see if the producer is busy or not. She hears a lowly “come in” far into the room, so she fully opens the door, both women getting in.

  
\- Remember Siyeon’s sister? – the redhead greets her friend.

  
\- Sure! How are you, Gahyeon?

  
\- Fine, happy to spend some time in the company with you guys – she politely answers.

  
\- Nice! Please, take a seat – Yubin tells them, pointing at the comfy large sofa in the room as they reach for a memory card – Here Bora, this is the guide songs Yooh and I have been working on for that Cube’s girl group.

  
\- Great, good job you two – the director congratulates as she takes the card – How have you been, Yubs?

  
\- Fine – they shrug – Pretty busy with Siyeon’s debut and the guide songs for other groups, but so far… nothing else.

  
The young sister keeps waiting for more people to come to the room, glancing at the door from time to time while paying attention to the conversation between the producer and the redhead.

  
\- Everything okay, Gahyeon? – Yubin asks her as they notice her behaviour.

  
\- Yeah, I was just wondering if Yoohyeon is going to join us.

  
\- Yooh? – Bora questions.

  
\- Well, you say we were going to see what they are doing, but only Yubin is here… - she clarifies.

  
\- Ah… - the director awkwardly smiles, flashing a discreet glance at Yubin – Well, it’s gonna be just the three of us apparently.

  
\- I see… I mean I have no complaints at all, I have two women for myself – the younger one smirks.

  
At those words, Bora winces internally. She knows that Gahyeon is unaware of the producer's pronouns, but she can't help but feel uneasy about this situation. It isn’t her place to correct her and expose Yubin, but she also doesn’t like to see how the latter is misgendered. However, the producer slides their chair a little closer to the student and takes some air before telling her:

  
\- Gahyeon, I think you got confused by what Bora told you because I haven’t told you yet my preferences.

  
\- Your preferences?

  
\- Well, my … my gender.

  
The director look between them, a bit nervous about the exchange, even though she knows that the younger one is open minded and probably won’t care about Yubin’s choices.

  
\- … Wait. What do you mean? – Gahyeon’s face is getting coloured by panic.

  
\- I-… I don’t identify as a woman.

  
The young sister stays quiet for a bit, until her eyes widen a lot and she launches forward to grab the producer’s hands:

  
\- I’M SO SORRY, I DIDN’T MEAN TO BE RUDE.

  
\- It’s okay, you didn’t know. Neither does your sister – Yubin tries to assure her.

  
\- Then… you are non-binary, right? You use they as your pronoun.

  
\- Exactly.

  
Bora lets her breath out.

  
\- Jesus, that was awkward as fuck – she says as she sinks in her seat.

  
\- How long since you…? – Gahyeon hesitates if she should finish her question.

  
\- Since I knew?

  
\- Yeah.

  
\- Well… Before the disband, that’s for sure – the producer recalls.

  
\- I must have been hard to be in an idol group and trying to find a pronoun that fits you… - the young woman ponders – Plus, this industry isn’t kind to the people who are not standard…

  
\- Yeah, I know that – they huff – But I love music, so I couldn’t stay away from it. I guess being a producer under Minji’s company is the best situation I could have asked for… Here I can be me.

  
\- But if you have to meet other people, they might… You know. - Gahyeon frowns.

  
\- They actually do, but for now I try to not care much about it, because it’s a work relationship and I don't want to waste time on them trying to make them understand this.

  
The young sister looks at Bora, who is sitting next to her, and the latter notices how her eyes are getting watery. The redhead, hesitating whether engulf her in a hug or giving her some space, just brushes some locks out of her face, while the producer frowns, their thumbs drawing some circles on Gahyeon’s hands that were taking theirs.

  
\- The more I know about you guys… I- - she sniffs – You really love what you do, huh? You work hard all the time and you keep trying hard even if life goes hard on y’all… And then. there’s me, that stop going to my own lectures just because I'm just tired.

  
There it is.

The director places a hand on one side of Gahyeon’s head and pull her in a hug, Yubin letting her hands free so she is comfortably engulfed by Bora’s arms.

  
\- Baby… It’s fine to feel tired sometimes – she hushes as she hears the other woman cry quietly – You can feel tired of something that you really love. That’s a human condition. We can’t always push ourselves to do something just because we like it. All of us need some space from these things from time to time. Plus… University must be stressing. That can turn something you love into something pressuring.

  
\- We all had those moments. During Dreamcatcher, we had to cheer each other up because sometimes it was hard to keep up with all the scheduled activities and those facades we had to portray in order to give a happy or fierce feeling to the public – they explain as they lean on their backrest – Even now that we don’t have as much public appearances, sometimes we get too stressed and we need to take some time to ourselves to not lose our minds.

  
Gahyeon nods with her face buried on Bora’s chest and the latter woman buries her nose on the crown of her head, mumbling:

  
\- It’s gonna be fine. Take these days for yourself.

  
The young woman spends the rest of the day being pampered by both former Dreamcatcher members, Yubin teaching her some basic music and Bora buying her food and showing her how the company works. It’s already night when Siyeon finally arrives at the company with Handong next to her, who after the variety show decided to go with her to her other activities. Both women go to the director's office, visibly tired, and, after knocking on the door, the singer opens it, giving way to the model before entering it. Although, to her surprise, her little sister is sitting on Bora's couch while the redhead works on her computer.

  
\- Gah, what are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be in Uni today? – the black-haired woman frowns, a bit upset.

  
The younger one glances at Bora, as if asking for help.

  
\- Siyeon – the redhead pleads – I think she needs a break…

  
\- But what about her grades and her future? – she worries.

  
Handong, who has been standing on one side of the room, rolls her eyes at the domestic feeling between those two and decides to go towards the small couch, sitting next to the young sister and smiling at her as their gazes met.

  
\- Her grades are gonna be fine, she is smart – Bora stands from her seat and approaches the singer, taking her hand and squeezing it – Trust her. She might be young, but you know she is mature enough than to just waste her grades that easy.

  
Still sensing the uneasiness in her girlfriend, she leans in towards her ear and whispers:

  
\- Go home tonight and talk to her. Try to listen to her. You will understand the whole thing better once you two spend some time alone. She needs her sister.

  
And before Bora backs, she leaves a soft peck on Siyeon’s lips, getting a groan from Gahyeon and a cheer from the Chinese model. Both women giggle and the director, without letting the singer’s hand go, looks at her friend on the couch:

  
\- So, how was the show? Did you put that asshole right in his place?

  
Handong smirks, mentally recalling how she answered cunningly to all the tricky questions they threw at them.

  
\- You bet I did. I wasn’t born a tiger to behave like a dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handong on fire during this chapter hehe
> 
> I kind of relate to Gahyeon in this chapter... Life has been overwhelming lately and I feel tired on a daily basis. So I took a couple of days off to enjoy the sunny days ^^ It really did me well.
> 
> ANYGAYS... the end is closer! Just two more chapters to go <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please, leave suggestions/feedback in my twt acc (@queenhwasua) or curiouscat (curiouscat.qa/QueenHwaSua) <3


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